I am a hitman. During a mission, my partner—my ride-or-die—shot me in the head. Over my corpse, he whispered, "I'm sorry. The target is my wife. To protect her, I had to kill you." My soul was utterly speechless. Bro, do you not have a mouth? If it's your wife, couldn't you just say so? We could have just skipped the job! Was it necessary to blow my brains out?! When I opened my eyes again, I was back three minutes before the shot. 1 It was a sunny morning. My partner and I were prone on a secluded rooftop, butts in the air, staring intently at a black sedan parked in front of the hospital across the street. Inside sat our target. Moments later, the car door opened. A slender, pale leg extended out, stepping onto the pavement with delicate grace. The moment her foot touched the ground, I sprang up and shouted, "Hey! Isn't that your wife?" Startled, my partner flinched, nearly misfiring. He turned his head, his eyes screaming interrogation: She only showed half a leg! Which eye told you that's my wife? I smiled but said nothing. Damn it, if I didn't yell fast enough, what if you popped me again? I turned back. The woman had exited the car. Soft, curly hair framing gentle, beautiful features. A breathtaking beauty. My partner stared at his wife, his face melting into happiness. But before we could say hello, a refined-looking man got out of the car. The man hugged the wife, tenderly stroking her belly. They looked like the perfect couple, radiating the glow of expectant parents. My greeting stuck in my throat. I didn't dare make a sound. But my partner was different. Not only did he dare to speak, he dared to shoot. Bang! He fired. The bullet hit the man right between the eyes. Bodyguards spotted us instantly and swarmed. My partner gazed at his screaming wife from afar, gave a tragic smile, and turned the gun on himself. Bang! He ate the bullet. He killed a guy, exposed our position, and then left me behind to commit suicide!!! The bodyguards arrived fast. Their batons hurt like hell. Before I was beaten to death, my only thought was: Never team up with an idiot. Fuck! 2 Yes, I respawned again. Same sunny morning, same rooftop corner, same black car. Practice makes perfect. This time, I got smart. The moment the wife stepped out, I leaped up. "Whoa! Isn't that your wife?" "Whoa! Is your wife pregnant?" "Whoa! Does your wife have a... brother?" I worded it carefully. "Brother" could be a real brother, a cousin, a neighbor, or a sugar daddy. We're adults; no need to be too specific. Before my partner could react, I dragged him downstairs and sprinted to the wife. The wife panicked. The refined man panicked too. The man forced himself to be calm, extending a hand. "Hello, I'm... Mr. King. I'm Lily's... cousin." I sighed internally. An honest man. These days, few people admit to being the 'neighbor Mr. King'. My partner shook his hand, then turned to his wife. "Why are you at the hospital?" The wife instinctively covered her lower abdomen. "I... I'm pregnant..." She glanced at Cousin King. Cousin King reached out, shielding her. "Lily didn't want to disturb your work, so she asked me to accompany her for the checkup." My idiot partner bought it completely, his face lighting up with ecstasy. "Really? Lily, we're having a baby!" I stood there counting on my fingers. "Mrs. Partner, how far along?" Her face paled. "Two... two months." Great. Three months ago, my partner and I took a job overseas. We just got back today. He hasn't even stepped through his front door, and he's celebrating a two-month pregnancy. Could I say anything? No! Say it, and I eat a bullet! I patted my partner. "Old Xie, being a dad is great news. Smile!" He grinned like a blooming flower. After laughing enough, he remembered business. He asked his wife, "Did you offend anyone recently?" After all, we're pros. Our jobs involve blood. Even if my partner is an idiot, anyone hiring us has a serious grudge. The wife looked confused. My partner understood. He turned to Mr. King. "Then they're after you. Don't worry, Cousin. With me here, no one will touch a hair on your head!" Me: Emmmmm... Great. I wanted to applaud. I wanted to sing. But before I could clap, a gunshot rang out. Pain exploded in my back. Strength drained from my body instantly. Before I hit the ground, I saw our Boss in the corner. He was wiping his gun, face twisted in rage. "I hate it when employees slack off!" 3 Do the job, get killed by partner. Don't do the job, get killed by Boss. What to do? Respawning again, I threw my gear on the ground and went berserk. "Fuck this stupid mission! I quit!" Under my partner's confused gaze, I leaped down the building, found the Boss's hiding spot, dragged him out, and started kicking him. "No health insurance! Peeping on us! Shooting me! Everyone pointing guns at me! I died three times today, you know? I need a raise, you hear me?!" The Boss dodged clumsily. "Raise my ass! Health insurance? If I paid it, would you dare take it? You want to go to jail faster..." My partner came to break it up. I slapped both of them. "Break it up? Break your mom! We're life-and-death partners, remember? You call the guy cucking you 'brother' and sacrifice your sworn brother?" Just then, the black car stopped. The wife got out and saw the three of us brawling. She screamed, panic all over her face. Seeing her, my anger, which had just subsided, flared up three stories high! I snapped! Why do I have to meet this woman while I'm working? Can't you just be a normal wife? Why do you need a side piece? Fine, have a side piece, but why let my idiot partner see it?! I died three times today, and two and a half were thanks to you!!! I'd had enough! I dragged Mr. King out of the car and pointed at his nose. "Cousin? You're probably the baby daddy!" "Is the wife's belly your work?" "Is the green hat on my partner's head your gift?" Mr. King's eyes dodged. He awkwardly admitted, "How... how did you know?" He shielded the wife. "Blame me if you must. I couldn't control my feelings..." My partner looked like he'd been struck by lightning. The wife broke down. She covered her face, crying softly. "I'm sorry. I just made a mistake that all women make." "I love you so much, but I love him too. I didn't know how to choose..." Oh, so you just hit "Select All"? Her eyes were swollen from crying. Mr. King looked heartbroken. He supported her and said resolutely to my partner, "If you have anger, take it out on me. Lily is innocent!" My partner ignored him. He just stared at his wife and whispered, "Lily, do you really love him?" The wife looked up with teary eyes, tragic and beautiful. "Yes, I love him. But I love you too." She asked, "Are you willing to forgive me?" My partner froze for a moment, pushed Mr. King aside, and pulled his wife into his arms. "How could I blame you? As long as you come back..." I was dumbfounded. My god, my idiot partner is a legendary simp. Sorry I yelled earlier. You are now the person I respect most! I looked at the sky. I should be able to survive this shift now. But before I could leave, familiar pain hit my back. 4 I thought I died again. As everyone knows, dying a lot makes you desensitized. So I habitually fell to the ground. After a while, a college kid leaned over fearfully. "I just threw a pebble at you. Are you dying?" I lay there, not wanting to get up. "Who are you?" The kid whispered, "I'm the client for this mission. I want to cancel. Can I?" Before I could nod, I heard my cheapskate Boss roaring: "Brian! The mission was to kill your ex-boyfriend! You're dating men behind my back???" I was confused. What does the client's dating life have to do with you? Boss, you manage too much. Surprisingly, the kid gasped, "Dad?" He looked at me, looked at his dad, thought about the hit he ordered, and was shocked. "Dad, didn't you say you were in waste recycling?" "Do you know I'm applying for a government job?" "I passed the written and interview stages, but failed the background check. I thought it was rigged." "With your background, passing would be a miracle!!" The Boss was furious. "You have the nerve to lecture me? You always said you were straight! Since when do straight guys date men?" "I knew it!! I found stockings in your room and you said they were your partner's! I thought you had a cute girlfriend! Turns out it's a six-foot cute girlfriend with a mustache!" "Tell me the truth, who's the top?" Brian stammered, "I am..." "Bullshit!" The Boss spat. "You think I don't know anything? In manga, tops have square jaws! Your chin is sharp enough to plow a field!!" I listened with a headache. What is happening? Brian covered his face, his slim frame trembling in the wind like a little white flower. He sobbed, "Dad, sorry for lying, but I really love him!" The Boss raged, "Damn it, he cheated on you and you're still obsessed! How did I raise such a love-brain!" He looked at the refined Mr. King nearby, murderous aura exploding. "It's all this scumbag! Cheated my son, and cheated my employee's wife! Today I'll do charity work and pop this promiscuous man!" The Boss pulled his gun and fired wildly at Mr. King. The wife screamed. My partner hugged her and dodged. I stood aside, admiring the chaos, even wanting a cigarette. Great, just great. You all killed me at least once. Now taste some lead yourselves!
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