I foolishly pined after Alex for three years. He hated using condoms. After we were done, he’d always stand there, shirtless, his back covered in scratch marks, smoking a cigarette with his back to me. He'd say it like he was doing me a favor: "What are you afraid of? If you get pregnant, we'll just get married." A month later, staring at the two lines on the pregnancy test, I chose not to tell him. Instead, I broke up with him, abruptly and completely. Later, he saw me at the abortion clinic. I was holding my belly, chatting with a pregnant woman next to me: "Don't look at how much I cried when we broke up. If I really had to carry his child, I wouldn't dare." "I know the difference between crying into a pillow and crying holding a baby." "Dating is fine, but for marriage? I have other options." 1 The day I found out I was pregnant, I went to the club Alex frequented. Just as I was about to push the door open, I heard them discussing which brand of condoms felt the best. Someone joked, "Ask Alex. He has a girlfriend, he must have the most experience." A moment later, I heard Alex speak carelessly: "Condoms? Never used them." The person next to him paused. "Never? Aren't you afraid Summer will get pregnant?" Alex lit a cigarette, his voice wrapped in smoke: "It's fine. She remembers to take the pill after every time." The room exploded. "Damn, you really trained her well." Alex chuckled lazily. "She's obedient. I know every mole on her body." Someone couldn't help but ask, "Alex, what if Summer really gets pregnant?" Alex paused, then spoke slowly: "If she gets pregnant, we'll get married." "Summer is sensible, and we get along. Marrying her wouldn't be hard to accept." Someone teased him, "If I recall correctly, you used to change girlfriends every week. Are you really ready to settle down?" Alex smirked indifferently. "Isn't she not pregnant yet?" "I don't want to think that far ahead." "If I get bored, I'll just find a decent reason to break up. She's obedient." "Besides, she's a people pleaser. Every time we break up, she never blames me. She always reflects on herself first, then hugs me and apologizes." "Last time I wanted to try it in the car on a whim. She refused, so I just scared her a little, said we'd break up if she didn't agree, and she gave in." People around him clicked their tongues. "Damn, so easy to fool." Alex lowered his eyes, his voice softening. "She is too easy to fool, that's why I don't want anyone else to trick her." "Good thing she met me. If she met a bad guy, that crybaby would lose her voice crying." "Might as well keep her around. I can look after her, give me peace of mind." Someone laughed. "So Alex is running a charity now." "But you really have to watch her closely. With a face like Summer's, who wouldn't want to play?" "Innocent face, killer body. That ass is like a peach, ripe for the picking." "If she were my girlfriend, I'd die happy." Alex glanced at him coldly. "You? Don't even think about it." After a moment, as if remembering something, his gaze softened a bit: "But she really is innocent. No matter how many times we do it, she cries like it's her first time." "Honestly, if I really had to leave her, I'd be reluctant." The people in the room teased him about becoming a lover boy. Just then, someone threw out a question: "Seriously Alex, if Summer gets pregnant, are you really settling down for her?" "Speaking of which, didn't you get together with her just to spite your white moonlight, Bella?" "Bella seems to have broken up recently, and she's working at your company. Isn't your chance here?" This time, Alex stared at the floor in a daze. The cigarette tip glowed red. He didn't speak for a long time. 2 I looked at the two lines on the pregnancy test. Actually, I wasn't here to tell him I was pregnant. I was here because his friend called me, saying he was drunk and asking me to pick him up. Seeing Alex distracted by the mention of Bella actually made me sigh in relief. In fact, since the moment I realized I might be pregnant, I had been thinking about how to break up with him. Alex got together with me back then indeed because of Bella. There is a type of person in this world. Never suffered, never faced setbacks, speaking with a naive beauty of someone who's never known hunger. Bella was that kind of person. She was my roommate. Every morning, she would look in the mirror, clench her fist, and sweetly cheer herself on: "Good morning, Bella! You are the warmest little sun, do your best today too!" When Alex pursued Bella, the whole school knew about the spectacle. Roses, luxury goods, thrown at her like money meant nothing. If she casually mentioned liking a bag, that bag would be at our dorm door the next day, costing three years of my part-time wages. Alex was eye-catching, standing out in the crowd. The moment he appeared, he was the focus of the school. Every time he showed up under the academic building, people secretly took photos of him. He didn't care, just leaning against the doorframe, playing on his phone, waiting for Bella. Six-foot-two, wearing a windbreaker like a runway model. Even the wind seemed to favor him. No exaggeration, even his hair was perfect to the extreme. The first time I saw him, he was confessing to Bella with hands in his pockets. A face that looked mixed-race, high nose bridge, sharp jawline, a smile with a hint of lazy roguishness. Most importantly, he was rich. At the freshman gala, the principal personally accompanied his father to the VIP seats. His natural nobility wasn't built on luxury goods. Sometimes I felt. Alex and Bella were the protagonists of this world. They had an innate sense of superiority. All good things would fall into their laps. And me. I was just a broken school beauty with a dead mom, a gambling dad, a sick grandma, working three jobs a day just to survive. An insignificant supporting character in their lives. Bella asked me why I worked three jobs. I explained patiently: "Because I have no money." She almost rolled her eyes to the sky: "If you have no money, ask your dad. Why pretend to be so stressed every day, is it necessary?" I didn't know how to make her understand my situation, only said softly: "My dad is my biggest stress." Maybe because she never tasted the bitterness of life, she just didn't like Alex. Instead, she fell for a poor, chauvinistic jock who was full of sweet words. He always gave cheap things. Every time Valentine's Day approached, the jock would break up with her. But after Valentine's Day, he would humble himself to reconcile with Bella. Bella didn't notice anything wrong. But I was sensitive to money. I knew that man just didn't want to waste money on a gift. Sometimes, I reminded her to stay away from him. She questioned me aggrievedly: "Summer, you're so weird. Why do you always think so badly of people? Is it because... you're jealous that no one holds you in their palm and loves you?" I stopped talking. Once on my way to the library, I saw Alex arguing with Bella in his luxury car. Alex threw the flowers meant for Bella on the ground, raising an eyebrow: "You're dating? Why didn't you tell me? "Is it fun playing me like this? "Where am I worse than him, huh?" Bella lifted her chin: "Alex, someone like you only knows how to throw money at me. You don't understand love at all." I thought Alex would show sadness. But I was wrong. Alex chuckled low. That laugh carried self-mockery and indifference: "I don't need to understand. "I have money, naturally people will line up to love me." He curled his finger at me standing nearby: "Hey, I'll give you money, you come love me." I froze. A long time later, I heard my own voice. "Okay." I thought I was solving a problem for Bella. But Bella's face sank instantly: "Summer, are you that cheap? "You pick up even things I don't want?" I didn't defend myself. I only knew my grandma was still in the hospital waiting for fees, and my father was pressing for gambling debts. I needed money. A lot of money. Enough money to pull me out of the mud. 3 After getting together, Alex was indeed good to me. When my father lost money and came to school to force me for money, Alex somehow made him never come again. Grandma's medical bills were settled in one go, and she was transferred to a VIP ward in the city hospital. The nurse sent photos of her smiling in the sun every day. He could solve everything for me effortlessly. He made me quit all my part-time jobs. He showered me with gifts every day, surprising me in various ways. From designer bags to custom jewelry. I casually mentioned wanting to take a finance class, and the next day he hired a private tutor to come to school. Following him, I learned to read financial reports, make investments, and gradually mastered many skills to make money. Besides that, we hugged, kissed, and even got a room like normal couples. My first time, he was shirtless, his pale shoulder lines taut and smooth. When he leaned down to kiss me, the silver chain around his neck rested against his beautiful collarbone, swaying gently with his movements. My heart raced, almost hypoxic. He laughed softly: "Dummy. "Next time we kiss, remember to breathe." Alex's desire was truly strong, and I had to cater to his whims. He didn't like using condoms, so I took the pill. He sought excitement, so I accompanied him to unlock various locations to keep it fresh. But he was indeed a jerk. After being with me, the women around him didn't decrease. He never refused anyone. His social media showed intimate photos with various influencers. At banquets, women held his arm ambiguously, and he never pushed them away. Some women even called me directly, their tone provocative. I cried about this once. He didn't care at all: "I'm dating you, not becoming a monk. "If you can't handle it, fine, I won't force you. "Then break up. I'll find someone who can handle it." Later, I became sensible and said nothing. In fact, I wasn't as obedient as he said. I'm a woman, I also need appropriate release. Alex was handsome and rich, the best choice available. He was indeed charming. I have to say, he really pulled me up when my life was at its lowest. I was grateful to him. And I genuinely liked him. But he was that kind of person. Born at the top of the pyramid. He didn't understand love, and would never know how to love you. But occasionally he would coax you like a lover. When he was inside, if you cried pain, he would cup your face, kissing you over and over, saying he loved you. He was a spoiled mad dog, but as long as you petted him the right way, he would care about you a little bit. Such a person was fine for dating. But I never thought about spending the rest of my life with him. I was twenty-seven, I couldn't play anymore. I also wanted to find a suitable opportunity. To break up with him. 4 After returning from the club. Alex drank with friends and came home very late. The next day, Alex called me, voice lazy with sleep: "Summer, bring a file to the company for me, I need it for a meeting." At the company, I accidentally saw Bella. Bella wore a washed-out business suit, holding a stack of files, hair combed meticulously, but couldn't hide the awkwardness in her eyes. A few days ago, my university friend told me. Bella's dad's factory went under. The boyfriend she was discussing marriage with ran off with the last bit of money. Now she was a bottom-level clerk in Alex's company, not even qualified to see him. Seeing me, Bella froze. She covered her mouth in surprise: "You're Summer? How did you change so much, you were clearly..." Before she finished. Alex's lazy voice came from behind. "Summer, where's my file?" He walked over, hugging me naturally from behind, rubbing his chin against the back of my head. The movement was intimate, as if done thousands of times. Bella looked at the successful Alex, feeling a sense of loss. Her lips pressed into a line, fingertips pinching the edge of the file, knuckles white. But Alex was never intimate with me at the company. I knew he was doing it for Bella to see. The second time I saw Bella was on my fifth anniversary with Alex. Alex booked the most high-end five-star restaurant. At the table, he suddenly said to me: "I invited Bella, you don't mind, right?" Seeing me stunned. He laughed: "What are you nervous about? Just wanted her to help us take some couple photos." When Bella arrived. Alex leaned close to me familiarly, took my phone from my arms and handed it to her. "Make us look good." He spoke with a smile, gaze on me, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. Bella's hand holding the phone trembled. This reaction seemed to please Alex. He put his arm around my waist, deliberately pulling me closer, whispering in my ear: "Baby, smile. Five year anniversary." His breath brushed my ear, as if he would kiss me the next second. But I could feel Alex was absent-minded talking to me, peripheral vision always on Bella. "Enough..." Bella suddenly put down the phone, voice choking, tears falling like broken pearls. "Alex, I know I was immature back then, I rejected you. But why do you have to humiliate me like this? "Deliberately treating her so well in front of me, deliberately making me take photos of you... Do you think it's fun to see me sad, see me regret? "We knew each other anyway, I never did anything sorry to you... why must you bully me?" She trembled with crying, looking at Alex full of grievance. Alex's body stiffened. I felt his grip on my shoulder hurt. Bella threw my phone on the ground, wiped her tears and ran away. Alex cursed low: "F*ck." He pushed me away, grabbed his jacket and chased after her. I squatted down, picking up my phone. The screen was shattered. On our five-year anniversary, Alex left me there alone.
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