Ethan once dated me for a short while. When we broke up, he sneered: "You knew I only dated you because I lost a bet, why are you so cheap?" I didn't explain, probably because I hadn't read enough books and didn't understand the principle of "leaving room for love." Later, my mother told me that for two people to be together for a long time, love isn't important; suitability is. I learned my lesson, listed my conditions, and after years of floating in the dating market, I finally found a suitable man. In the cafe, my date and I had a great conversation, even agreeing to have two children after marriage. Suddenly, an exquisitely dressed little boy popped out from nowhere and hugged my leg: "Mommy, why are you here? I missed you so much!" My date's eyes widened in shock: "You have a child?" Before I could deny it, the little boy put his hands on his hips and answered righteously: "Of course I'm Mommy's child, my daddy can prove it!" I followed his gaze and saw Ethan standing quietly not far away, hands in his pockets. Congratulations to me, six years after the breakup, I became a mother. 1 "Is this child really not yours?" My date was very skeptical. Of course, I understood his concerns. After all, the dating market is a mixed bag, full of all kinds of people. So I reasoned with him: "Look at me, look at this kid, and then look at the kid's dad. Do you think we look like a family?" Ethan was too outstanding. He was the kind of outstanding that could be spotted instantly in a crowd even wearing a hat, mask, and the most ordinary T-shirt and jeans. This kid also had red lips and white teeth, and even a Gucci logo on his little leather jacket. My date looked at me, then at Ethan, and nodded convinced: "Indeed, you don't look like a family. You're better suited with me." "I don't know this kid, but his dad is my high school classmate. Haven't seen him for years; he's probably playing a joke on me." I smiled and patted the kid's head. My date was more reassured. Just as he was about to sit down and continue chatting, he received an urgent call from his company. I expressed understanding and said we could meet another time. "I've already paid the bill. Take your time eating, you can share with the kid too." "Thank you, next time it's on me." I was really satisfied with this date, but as soon as he left, I heard the little boy say: "Your taste is really bad. He's far worse than my dad." I smiled and didn't reply. Just as I was about to send him back to Ethan, I saw Ethan walking towards us. He called the waiter and asked to clear the desserts on the table. "These haven't been touched yet. Waiter, please pack them for me," I said gently. Ethan was a germaphobe; he wouldn't touch anything others had touched. Of course, he had the capital for that. But I didn't. I thought it was a pity to throw away perfectly good food. "You like these?" Ethan finally spoke, saying his first sentence to me. I looked at him in confusion. "Reorder the desserts on the table, pack them all for this lady." Ethan opened the payment code on his phone and handed it to the waiter. "Throw away the ones on the table." "I don't really like sweets. If you order them, give them to the kid. But don't let him eat too much; it's bad for his teeth." Saying this, I picked up my bag and nodded as a goodbye. "We haven't seen each other for so many years. After all, we were lovers once." Ethan tapped his fingers on the table a few times and looked up at me. "Don't you want to sit down and catch up, Sarah?" 2 I sat back in the chair. The waiter was quick and soon served new drinks. Ethan's son sat next to him, quietly scooping cake with a spoon. I felt the atmosphere was a bit awkward. He said catch up, but he didn't speak. "You're married? How old is your son?" "Four." I calculated the time and was a bit surprised: "So you got married before graduating college?" Quite unexpected. I thought Ethan was against marriage, but it turned out the rules were for outsiders. When he met the right person, all principles could be compromised. "Were you on a blind date just now?" "Ah? Yes." I nodded. "How was it? Satisfied?" "Pretty good. We have quite a lot in common." Both pragmatic and sincere. Ethan sneered, his tone mocking: "Seems you really reached that age where any man will do." I stopped stirring my coffee, staring at the whirlpool in the liquid for a few seconds, then looked up with a smile and admitted frankly: "Yeah, I'm not young anymore. I want to settle down quickly, otherwise, it will be hard to recover from childbirth when I'm older." Ethan's lips pressed into a straight line. This was a sign that he was very unhappy. Normal. He was unhappy most of the time in front of me. I used to be terrified of this and always racked my brains to make him happy. "Don't you think he looks familiar?" Ethan suddenly pointed at his son and asked me. I listened to him and observed carefully. "Your son doesn't look much like you. Is he more like his mom? Do I know his mom too?" There were only a few girls close to Ethan that I happened to know. I guessed one by one, but Ethan's face grew darker and darker. Finally, I shut up tactfully and smiled awkwardly: "Sorry, I don't have much contact with high school classmates. I don't remember many of them. How about a hint?" Ethan didn't speak, and the atmosphere became more and more suffocating. The kid opened his big eyes, looking at me, then at his dad. Just as he was about to speak, he was interrupted by Ethan: "Forget it." He breathed rapidly for a few seconds, then quickly calmed down and handed his phone to me: "Add me on WeChat." Actually, I didn't really want to add him. But he kept staring at me, as if he wouldn't take back his phone unless I added him. I could only take out my phone, scan the code, and send a friend request. "Let's go." Ethan put away his phone with satisfaction, stood up, and left first. The kid slid off the chair nimbly and trotted to keep up. After a few steps, he turned back to look at me. I smiled and waved goodbye to him. Actually, I wanted to tell Ethan to pay attention and not let the kid call anyone mom. Then I thought, what does it have to do with me? Why worry about things that don't concern me. 3 I chose to pack the table full of desserts in the end and shared them with my colleagues at work the next day. "Wow, this dessert shop is expensive. Did you win the lottery?" "Your date bought it, right? This one is generous, unlike those stingy guys before." "Right, almost forgot you have blind dates every week. How about this one? Did you like him?" I smiled and nodded: "I think this one is pretty good." "What are his conditions?" I told the truth, and saw my colleagues looking disappointed: "You even consider these conditions?" "But compared to the previous ones, this one is already pretty good." They chattered, eating cake while discussing my marriage. Perhaps I was a weirdo in their eyes because I had been going on blind dates since graduating from college. Not forced by relatives or friends, going through the motions to save face, but very seriously filtering and chatting. They thought women who were so determined to enter the grave of marriage in this era were fools. But I just knew very clearly what I wanted. I wasn't a celibate, didn't reject marriage, nor was I a very firm person who might not withstand the pressure of marriage urging from relatives and friends. Instead of being chosen by men when I'm older, it's better to take the initiative while young and try to pick one I'm satisfied with. After all, a woman's age is like a man's wealth; it's hard currency. My colleagues said my dates were low quality, nothing outstanding. But I was just a very ordinary woman, with nothing outstanding about me either. People always need to have self-knowledge. 3 After adding Ethan, I never chatted with him. He posted on Moments every now and then, from rock climbing to racing, always surrounded by beautiful women, living a colorful life. I liked liking posts; I found watching other people's lives interesting and wasn't stingy with small kindnesses. But I never liked Ethan's posts. After all, given Ethan's dislike for me, my like would probably only ruin his good mood. I met my date a few more times, had meals, watched movies, and we both had high approval of each other. On a gentle moonlit night, he asked me nervously and seriously if we could date with marriage in mind. I agreed. Mom was right. Marriage isn't always about loving each other and living happily ever after. It's the union of two families to increase the ability to resist risks, while also satisfying the instinct of human reproduction. Many of my colleagues and friends didn't want children. They said only people whose brains haven't fully evolved would be full of thoughts about children. Well, maybe my brain hasn't fully evolved. Dragging down humanity, truly a bit embarrassed. On Monday, I specially took half a day off to go to the hospital. My health wasn't very good, with irregular periods and dysmenorrhea. Thinking that since I planned to get married, I should check my body first, regulate it in advance, and prepare for pregnancy in the future. The doctor looked at my medical record, wrote some slips quickly, and asked me to come back for a follow-up with the test results. I walked while flipping through the test slips. Before seeing clearly where to do the tests, I heard someone call my name: "Sarah?" I looked up subconsciously and took a few seconds to remember who she was. Bella Feng, a high school classmate. She was pushing Ethan in a wheelchair, just walking out of the elevator. Don't know what happened to Ethan; his face was a bit pale, and his leg was in a cast. "It really is you. I thought I saw wrong." She looked me up and down. "You haven't changed at all." I knew what she meant. Most girls would undergo a transformative change after college and graduation compared to high school. But I didn't. I still wasn't good at makeup, didn't dress up much, even my hairstyle was the same as in high school, bangs, short bob. "Hello." I greeted politely. "Long time no see." There were many test slips in my hand. I didn't hold them steady for a moment, and they all fell to the ground. Bella subconsciously wanted to help. "No need, no need, I'll do it myself." I squatted on the ground picking up the slips one by one. One of them happened to drift to Ethan's feet. Bella bent down to pick it up, glanced at it, and said in surprise: "Sarah, I thought you were very conservative and absolutely wouldn't accept premarital sex. You actually had an abortion?" 4 People around looked over. Abortion isn't shameful in this era, but I still felt inexplicably ashamed. I hurriedly took the slip from her hand, lowered my head, and wanted to leave. "Don't go." Bella grabbed my arm. "Are you in a hurry? Haven't seen each other for so many years, let's catch up?" Catch up again. Not even a good relationship, what "old times" are there to catch up on? "I'm in a hurry to get back to work." I broke free from her, forced a smile, stuffed the slips into my bag, turned, and left. I could roughly guess that I would probably become a gossip figure in their small group again. It was the same when I was with Ethan back then. I was too love-struck then, reluctant to separate from Ethan, and because of my cowardly personality, I silently endured a lot of ridicule and eye-rolling. A short scream suddenly came from behind, followed by a heavy "thud." I looked back subconsciously. Bella had a mix of surprise and fear on her face, standing拘束ly beside Ethan. Ethan was still sitting in the wheelchair, looking calm. Not far away, a phone broken in half lay quietly. Sensing my gaze, Ethan looked up at me expressionlessly, then withdrew his gaze, pressed the switch on the wheelchair, and left in the opposite direction. Bella picked up the phone and trotted to catch up. I thought Ethan was only moody in front of me. Turns out he's like that with others too. For some reason, there was a subtle balance in my heart.
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