My husband, Aaron Carter, and I are both failed rebounds. He proposed to my cousin, Bella, and was rejected. I was friend-zoned by his roommate. What's sadder? Our crushes ended up together. When they got married, I was the maid of honor, and he was the best man. That day, we hugged each other and cried our eyes out. Six years later, they divorced. Aaron dressed up meticulously, picked out a gift, and asked me: "Do I look handsome? Will Bella like this gift?" He seemed to have forgotten that we were married too. I thought for a moment, complimented him on how handsome he looked, and silently contacted a lawyer to draft the divorce papers. 1 I whipped up two simple dishes, and Aaron pushed the door open just as I was setting the table. He seemed to be in a good mood, humming a tune as he bent down to change his shoes with his long legs. "You're back? Dinner's ready." I placed a bowl of rice on his side of the table. He tasted a mouthful of the dish and put down his chopsticks. "It's bland." I instinctively replied, "I'll add more salt and chili next time." Actually, I knew. He hated scallions but loved spicy food. It was just that I was in a inexplicably bad mood today and thought he wouldn't come home tonight. So, in a daze, I only cooked according to my own taste. "No need." He said lightly, not even looking at me. "Leah, find some time tomorrow to move out." "If she wants to come over someday and finds out about us... it'll be hard to explain." My hand holding the chopsticks paused. "Okay." He remembered something, his brows relaxing. "By the way, she really liked the silk scarf you picked. She said it matches her new coat perfectly. Next time I give a gift, you have to help me choose again." The rice in my mouth suddenly became hard, mixed with an indescribable bitterness. I chewed and swallowed hard. "It was just a coincidence." "I can't guess what she likes every time. Next time, just ask her directly." Aaron finally looked up at me. His light eyes narrowed slightly, his fingertips idly playing with the wheel of his lighter. "Leah." "You're not jealous, are you?" I wanted to say "No," but my lips moved without making a sound. He didn't need my answer anyway. He continued on his own, tossing the lighter aside. "But you shouldn't be. We're just partners living together. You know that, and I know that." "Besides, even if you are jealous, it's useless. I don't love you." That sentence again. I almost instinctively wanted to retort, but my phone rang at that moment. Seeing the caller ID, I got up and walked to the balcony. Bella's gentle voice came through: "Cousin, Aaron came to see me today. We just had coffee." "Yeah, I know." "I just... wanted to let you know." "After all, you guys have always been close. I was afraid you'd mind." Actually, what was there to mind? I always knew Aaron never got over her. He liked every one of her Instagram posts. Even the news of her divorce, he was the first one to tell me excitedly. After a few seconds of silence, I spoke: "Mind what?" I heard myself say: "We're not even friends." 2 I hung up the phone and turned around to find Aaron leaning against the sliding door, watching me. I don't know how long he'd been listening. Hands in his pockets, he said, "Leah, not even friends? Saying that makes me a little unhappy." His tone was strange, carrying an inexplicable sourness. I could never guess what Aaron was thinking. I forced a smile, perfunctory. "Okay, okay. Like you said, we have a pure revolutionary friendship. Is that better?" "Are you done eating? I'll go take out the trash." Without waiting for his response, I cleared the table and went out with the trash bag. The community dumpster was behind a building, a bit remote. Just as I turned around after throwing the trash, I saw Julian. Since he divorced Bella, I occasionally bumped into him jogging at night. But I never initiated a greeting, always rushing past with my head down. This time, he stopped me: "Leah." I had to stop and wait for him. A thin layer of sweat covered his forehead, his breath slightly labored. He walked up to me and stopped. "I see you around here a lot lately, but you seem to be avoiding me." I laughed dryly. "No, I just didn't notice." Actually, we both knew the truth. I had pursued him before, but he maintained a polite distance. For two years in college, he neither rejected nor accepted me. It wasn't until he saw Bella and me walking side by side that he actively asked me for the first time: "Is that your cousin? Can I have her number?" After that, I was completely rejected by him. Then, they got married the year we graduated. Over the years, we tacitly never mentioned that past to Bella. Even during holidays, when he visited my parents as "Cousin-in-law," I always found excuses to avoid him. Most of the time, I didn't want to be alone with him. Seeing him reminded me of the disappointment of an ending before a beginning, and the awkwardness of forcing a smile in front of Bella. Instinctively, I just wanted to escape. If I hadn't met Aaron, who was in the same boat, at that time... I would have been trapped in this emotion for a long time. Julian nodded and then asked me: "Do you know that Aaron has been very close to Bella recently?" Somewhere in my heart, it sank inexplicably, yet seemed to relax. I lowered my eyes and shook my head. "I don't know." "If there's nothing else, I'm going home." I turned to leave, but saw Aaron at the entrance of the building, seemingly waiting for me. For some reason, I felt a flicker of happiness. I walked over quickly. "Taking out the trash took this long?" "Ran into Julian. Exchanged a few words." The hand in his pocket moved. "Oh, what did you talk about?" "He asked me if you were close to Bella recently. I said I didn't know." Aaron had an "I knew it" expression on his face, tinged with sarcasm. "Do you think now that he's divorced and lonely, he remembered you, his old simp, and plans to settle for you?" I immediately retorted, "Impossible! He never looked at me before." "True." Aaron took over the conversation, his gaze sweeping up and down my body. "Plain looks, average figure. Personality is passable, but with a gem like Bella before him, even for a second marriage, he should find someone better." With that, he turned and swiped his card to open the building door. I followed him into the elevator. As the elevator started to ascend, I couldn't help but glance at him sideways. He seemed to notice, turning his head, the corner of his mouth hooking up. "What? Unhappy because I said that?" I knew he wasn't caring about my feelings. After all, he was stating what he considered the most objective facts. I looked away, staring at the polished mirror surface of the elevator wall. It reflected my appearance: ordinary features, wearing old loungewear, hair tied up casually, a few loose strands hanging on my forehead. I looked at the utterly ordinary woman in the mirror and shook my head gently. "No, I think what you said is quite true." 3 I have been ordinary since childhood. Mediocre grades, always unconsciously nervous and cramped in front of strangers. Bella, on the other hand, was the "child from another family"—the perfect one. Beautiful, good grades, gentle personality, and poised. Everyone unconsciously favored her. Standing together, I was the control group. Even if I wasn't ugly, next to her, I would always be the ugly duckling. It would be a lie to say I wasn't jealous, especially after Julian appeared. I liked him, but he fell in love with Bella at first sight. At that time, I even darkly felt that Bella stole him. But later I figured it out. I gave him her number willingly. I simped for so long with no result; the problem was indeed me. I can only blame myself for being too ordinary. But Aaron was different from me. He was naturally dazzling, from a good family, with outstanding looks. Yet, he hit a solid wall with Bella. Only later did I learn that before I gave Bella's number to Julian, Aaron had been chasing her for a long time. I asked Bella indirectly why it was Julian and not Aaron. She thought about it then and said seriously: "Aaron... looks like a cynical playboy. Unreliable." But now, this unreliable playboy seemed to be making her reconsider with his extraordinary devotion. 4 I went from the living room to the bedroom and started packing my things. Over the years, I seemed to have left many traces in this home. But many were things I couldn't take away and had to throw out. It was three hours later when I finished packing. After washing up, Aaron was already leaning against the headboard. He had warmed up my side of the duvet and patted the spot next to him. I hesitated. I originally planned to sleep in the guest room. "What are you staring at? Come here." He didn't give me a chance to hesitate, reaching out and pulling me over, covering me tightly with the quilt. After lying down, he naturally wrapped his arms around me, his hand sliding down to hold my feet. He clicked his tongue, but his palm was scalding hot. "Why are you still so cold... No one will warm you up in the future. Remember to use a hot water bottle." His breathing soon became even and long; he fell asleep. But I couldn't sleep. Did Aaron... ever have a tiny bit of sincerity towards me? One winter, it snowed heavily, and I was trapped at the office. He drove to pick me up, risking the car slipping out of control. The first thing he said when he saw me was scolding: "Leah, are you stupid? Don't you know to wear more?" My teeth chattered from the cold, but I squeezed out a smile and leaned in: "Care about me so much? Then remind me every day from now on, okay?" He immediately turned his face away. "Dream on. I don't love you, why should I remind you? Don't forget, we only have a revolutionary friendship." Despite saying that, he grabbed my frozen hands and stuffed them directly into his warm sweater to warm them up. On the way back, the snow was thick. He drove slowly and carefully. When we finally reached the apartment complex. Getting out of the car, he suddenly packed a snowball and smashed it on my face. I grabbed snow to fight back too. We chased each other in the empty snow like two idiots. "Aaron Carter, are you childish?!" I shouted, panting. He laughed loudly. "Aren't you too?" Near the building, I don't know who lay down first, but we lay side by side in the snow. The world was quiet. Turning my head, I could see the white breath he exhaled and the snowflakes on his hair. He suddenly leaned close, close enough for me to count his eyelashes, close enough that all I could hear was my own deafening heartbeat. Then, he suddenly threw a handful of snow on my face, smiling smugly and wickedly: "Leah, you didn't think... I was going to kiss you, did you?" I froze in place, snowflakes melting on my cheeks, cold. I grabbed snow and lunged at him. In the chaos, somehow, I pinned him in the snow. In that moment, I really wanted to kiss him. Very light, very fast. I kissed him. He didn't push me away, just turned his face away quickly. When we both stood up, he raised his hand to wipe his cheek. "Leah, your saliva is disgusting."
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