"A year-end bonus of $2,000, and you expect me to be grateful?" The smile froze on HR manager Susan's face. I've been at this company for 8 years, wrote 1.27 million lines of code, and supported 3 core systems. Year-end bonus, $2,000. "Chris, you have to understand the company's difficulties..." I laughed. I took a piece of paper from my bag and placed it in front of her. A resignation letter. The date was today. 1 Susan stared at the resignation letter, stunned for a full five seconds. "Chris, don't be impulsive." "I'm not impulsive," I said. "I've thought about this for a long time." 8 years. From joining as a fresh graduate to now, exactly 8 years. I was employee number 7, arriving earlier than most of the management. Back then, the company operated out of a residential house. A few of us tech guys squeezed into a room less than 200 square feet. No AC in summer, no heating in winter. The first line of code I wrote is still running today. "You know if you leave now, the year-end bonus is gone, right?" Susan said. "$2,000," I said. "I don't want it." Susan's expression turned a bit ugly. "Chris, I know you feel aggrieved, but you have to understand..." "Susan," I interrupted her, "do you know how much overtime I worked last month?" She didn't speak. "187 hours," I said. "Averaging 6 hours of overtime every day. No overtime pay, no compensatory leave, not even a single 'thank you'." "This... the company does have some issues with overtime culture..." "It's not an issue of overtime culture," I said. "It's that you take my dedication for granted." Susan opened her mouth but couldn't say anything. I stood up. "What's the process?" "You... are you really sure?" "I'm sure." Susan looked at me with complex eyes. "Do you know you're on the layoff list?" I was stunned for a moment. "What?" "In this round of layoffs, you're on the list," Susan said. "Ranked first." I stared at her, thinking I heard wrong. "Ranked first?" "Yes." "The reason?" Susan lowered her head, afraid to look at me. "Highly replaceable." These two words, like a knife, stabbed into my chest. Highly replaceable. Me? The person who built the entire payment system from scratch? The person who maintained 3 core modules alone for 8 years? The person who was called up at 3 AM to fix bugs, went to work as usual the next day, and never took a sick day? Highly replaceable? I suddenly laughed. "Fine," I said. "Then let's see you try to replace me." Susan looked up, her expression a bit panicked. "Chris, what do you mean?" "Nothing." I picked up my bag. "I've submitted my resignation letter. You arrange the process." "Wait..." I didn't wait. Pushed open the door and walked out. The hallway was quiet. Sunlight shone in through the floor-to-ceiling windows, illuminating the wall with the company values written on it. "People-oriented." "Growing together." "Grateful for the journey." I looked at these words and found them ironic. 8 years. I gave my youth, time, and energy, all to this company. What did I get in return? A phrase "highly replaceable." I took a deep breath and continued walking forward. Passing by the pantry, I heard people chatting. "Heard 20% are getting cut this time." "Really? Is the list out?" "Out, out. I heard Chris in the tech department is ranked first." "Chris? The one who doesn't talk much?" "Yeah, yeah, that's him." "Isn't he an old timer? 8 years, right? Why cut him first?" "Heard the team lead proposed it, saying he's highly replaceable." "Huh? He's highly replaceable?" "Who knows, anyway, what the team lead says goes." I stood at the door, didn't go in. Those two people were still chatting. "He seems to be in charge of the payment system, right?" "More than that, seems like there's also risk control, settlement... I don't understand the specifics." "Then what about these systems?" "Don't know, anyway, the team lead said no problem, can find someone to take over soon." "Alright then." I had heard enough. Turned around and went back to my desk. Opened the computer and started organizing things. 8 years of files, emails, code records. I won't take anything belonging to the company. But I will take myself. My ability, my experience, my understanding of this system. These are not on any server. They are in my brain. You say I'm highly replaceable? Then show me a replacement. 2 While organizing things, my mind was full of images from these 8 years. In 2016, I just graduated with a master's degree in computer science from a top university and joined this startup with only 30 people at the time. The person who interviewed me was Mr. Wang, the current CTO. Back then, he didn't have so much gray hair and wasn't so greasy. He told me: "Chris, although our company is small, we have dreams. Come, let's make this big together." I believed him. On the first day of work, I was assigned to the payment group. There was only me in the group. "The payment system is the core," Mr. Wang said. "You must do it well." I asked: "Just me?" "Just you for now. When the company has money, we'll hire people for you." I waited for 8 years. Didn't wait for a single person. The payment system from 0 to 1, from 1 to 100, was all coded by me line by line. Later, the company expanded its business, adding risk control and settlement systems. No one took over, still me. I alone shouldered 3 core systems. Crashed in the early morning? Me. Bugs during holidays? Me. Urgent new requirements online? Me. I don't remember how many times I was woken up by phone calls at 3 AM, opening my computer with sleepy eyes to fix bugs. Fixed, dawn broke, went to work as usual. No overtime pay, no compensatory leave, no one said a word of thanks. Because everyone thought this was what Chris should do. Isn't Chris always like this? Chris won't refuse. Chris has no life, Chris only has work. Yes. I have no life. Had a girlfriend once, she said I was too busy with work and had no time for her, broke up. Parents urged me to marry, I said too busy with work, no time for blind dates, they scolded me for being unfilial. Friends gathering, I was always absent, because who knows when I would be called to fix bugs. I gave all my time to this company. What did I get in return? In 2018, the company's first financing, valued at $20 million. That year my year-end bonus was $5,000. In 2020, the company's second financing, valued at $100 million. That year my year-end bonus was $8,000. In 2022, the company went public, market value $500 million. That year my year-end bonus was $10,000. 2024, now. Company market value $800 million. My year-end bonus, $2,000. I don't understand. The company gets bigger and bigger, but my year-end bonus gets smaller and smaller. I went to ask HR. Susan said: "Chris, the company's efficiency is not good this year, everyone is tightening their belts." I said: "But I saw the news, the company's profit increased by 30% last year." Susan smiled: "News, you know, there's a lot of water in it." I went to ask the team lead again. Linda, my current direct leader, parachuted in two years ago. She worked in a big tech company before, resume looks beautiful, can't write code, but very good at reporting. She said: "Chris, your problem is you don't know how to manage up. You did so many things, but the leaders don't know. You have to learn to express yourself." I said: "I write weekly reports every week, monthly reports every month, and I send email reports every time a big requirement goes online." She said: "That's different. Your reports are too technical, leaders can't understand. You have to learn to use language leaders can understand." I stopped talking. I indeed can't speak pretty words. I only know how to write code. But isn't writing code valuable? Without code, how does the company operate? Without my 8 years of dedication, where does the $800 million market value come from? I couldn't figure it out. Until this year's year-end rating came out, I completely figured it out. That day, I saw my grade: B. What is the concept of B? It means "normal." Not good, nor bad. Year-end bonus coefficient 0.5. And Linda, my leader, rated S. S is the highest level. Year-end bonus coefficient 2.0. She came for 2 years, what did she do? Changed the format of my weekly report, reported up. Added a cover to my technical plan, reported up. Changed the wording of my code achievements, reported up. Oh, right, she also did a big thing. Changed the color of a button in our system. From blue to green. For this one thing, she reported 3 times and won an "Innovation Award." I wrote 1.27 million lines of code, rated B. She changed a button color, rated S. This is the company's values. This is their interpretation of "people-oriented." 3 I thought I was chilled enough. Until I saw that optimization list. Actually, Susan didn't intend for me to see it. I discovered it myself. That noon, I went to find Susan to ask about the resignation process. She wasn't at her desk, computer was on, an Excel spreadsheet on the screen. "2024 Q4 Organizational Optimization List". My name was on the first line. The remark behind wrote: "Suggested optimization reason: Long working years, serious salary inversion, highly replaceable. Suggested by: Linda." I stared at those words, heart pounding. Salary inversion. Yes, my salary is indeed not high. 8 years, my salary rose from $120k at entry to current $250k. Average increase less than $20k per year. And the fresh graduates recruited last year started at $220k. Interns I mentored, salary higher than me after conversion. Newcomers I taught, now leaders of other groups, annual salary twice mine. I applied for salary adjustment. Applied every year. Rejected every year. The reason is always: "Market is not good this year." "Company budget limited." "Wait a bit more, there will be adjustments next year." I waited for 8 years. Waited for the words "serious salary inversion." Highly replaceable. These two words make me feel even more ironic. In the whole company, only I understand all the logic of the payment system. Only I can save the crashed system at 3 AM. Only I know what those legacy codes are about. Highly replaceable? Can you find a second Chris? But I didn't question anyone. I just silently returned to my desk and continued organizing things. At 3 PM, Linda came to find me. "Chris, heard you resigned?" "Yes." "Don't be impulsive," she looked kind, "It's year-end, if you leave now, you won't have the year-end bonus." "$2,000, don't want it." She was stunned for a moment. "You resign just because the bonus is small?" "Not because of the bonus," I said. "Because I don't want to do it anymore." "Did you find your next job?" "No." "Then you quit without a job?" She frowned. "Chris, you are 32, naked resignation at this age is very dangerous." "Thanks for caring." She sighed. "Chris, I know you might have some opinions about me. But you have to understand, the rating thing is not decided by me alone." I didn't speak. "Your work is indeed done well, but you have to learn to express. Look at you, never talk in meetings, never mention ideas, how do leaders know your ability?" I still didn't speak. "And..." she lowered her voice, "to be honest, everyone has seen your code, indeed written okay. But this thing, anyone else can do it too. Technology, whoever writes it is the same." This sentence made me completely give up hope. Technology, whoever writes it is the same. Good. Then let "whoever" write it. "Linda," I finally spoke, "do you know what the core logic of the payment system is?" She was stunned. "This... I'm not from a technical background..." "Do you know how many requests the risk control system processes per second?" "This is too detailed..." "Do you know how the reconciliation logic of the settlement system is designed?" She stopped talking. "You know nothing," I said, "but you say whoever writes it is the same." "Chris, what is this attitude?" "Just this attitude." I stood up. "I've already submitted the resignation letter, leaving in a month. This month, I only do handover, no new requirements." "You..." "Also," I looked at her, "you said I'm highly replaceable. Then show me a replacement." 4 That night, I didn't work overtime. As soon as off-work time came, I packed up and left. This was the first time in 8 years. Before, I never dared to leave on time. Because there were always endless bugs to fix, requirements to do, meetings to attend. But today, I don't care. Anyway, I'm leaving. The moment I walked out of the company gate, I took a deep breath. The night wind blew on my face, a bit cold, but very clear. 8 years. I'm finally leaving this place. Phone rang. It was Mom calling. "Chris, how come you have time to answer the phone at this hour?" "Mom, I resigned." Silence on the other end for a few seconds. "Resigned? Why?" "Don't want to do it anymore." "Don't want to do it? You are 32, what will you do if not this? How much savings do you have? How long can it last you?" "Mom..." "Your dad is in poor health, I need medicine every month, your brother just bought a house, mortgage hasn't been paid off..." "Mom, I know." "You know and you still resign? Chris, is your brain broken?" I was silent. "Explain clearly to me, what happened? Were you fired?" "No, I quit myself." "Then why?" "Because..." I thought for a moment, "Because they said I'm highly replaceable." Mom was stunned. "What replaceability?" "It means I'm not important, can be replaced anytime." "Then let them replace, you find the next one. Why are you so impulsive?" "Mom, I worked in this company for 8 years." "I know." "8 years, I gave all my time to them. No weekends, no holidays, no life of my own." "Isn't work all like this?" "Mom, my year-end bonus, only $2,000." Silence again on the other end. "$2,000... is a bit little?" "More than a bit. I wrote 1.27 million lines of code, supported 3 core systems of the company. $2,000, not enough for my food for a month." Mom sighed. "Then resign if you resign. Anyway, you are at this age, take this time to go on blind dates and find a wife." I smiled bitterly. "Mom, I'm hanging up." "Wait..." I didn't wait, hung up directly. I knew Mom didn't understand. She never worked in her life, didn't know what workplace meant. Didn't know what it meant to give without return. Didn't know what it meant to exchange 8 years of youth for a phrase "highly replaceable." But it doesn't matter. I don't need her to understand. I just need to know myself, what I am doing. That night, I returned to my rental apartment, cooked a bowl of instant noodles. Eating instant noodles, I started counting. How much savings do I have? 8 years of work, saving frugally every month, saved about $500,000. Not much, but enough to last me two years. Two years time, enough for me to find the next job. Or, do something myself. I don't know what the future holds. But I know, I can't be like this anymore. Finished instant noodles, I opened the computer. Not for work, but to write a document. A handover document. I want to write down all knowledge, experience, logic of these 8 years. Not for the company, for myself. This is my professionalism. I can leave, but I won't sabotage. Code is still their code, system is still their system. I only take away things belonging to me— My ability, my experience, my brain. Writing until 2 AM, I finally finished. Looking at that document of over 100 pages, I suddenly wanted to laugh a bit. Over 100 pages. 8 years of painstaking effort, condensed into over 100 pages. But I know, no one can truly understand these 100+ pages. Because true knowledge is in my brain. Those historical pits, those hidden bugs, those logics only I know. These cannot be explained clearly by a document. I closed the computer, went to bed. Starting tomorrow, I am a free man.
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