I bought a used laptop online. I was expecting a beat-up machine. Instead, I received the brand-new, latest model. I opened it up. The wallpaper was a photo of me. The password? My birthday. Just as I was wondering if this was some secret admirer’s surprise gift... My phone blew up. The seller was spamming me: "Girl, I messed up! I mailed you my sister’s new laptop!" "That wasn't the one for sale! OMG, she’s going to end me." "Did you see the guy on the wallpaper? That’s my brother-in-law. She’s obsessed with him." "For the sake of a hopeless romantic, can you please send it back?" 1 My four-year-old laptop finally gave up the ghost. Blue screen of death. No coming back. I was broke, waiting on my next paycheck, so buying brand new wasn't an option. I decided to go second-hand. High risk, high reward. I spent four days scrolling through Marketplace until I found "The One." It fit my budget perfectly, and the seller seemed chill. In the spirit of saving every penny, I decided to play the game. I pulled out the big guns and sent a message that would make any seller cringe: "Would you take $200?" A brave lowball offer from a broke man, praying for a miracle. I was ready for her to curse me out, block me, and roast me on Reddit. Instead, she replied instantly: "Sure. I'll cover shipping too." Mom, I think I met an angel. I was so moved I almost cried. I copy-pasted a wall of generic, flattering blessings to her default avatar: "You're a queen," "Manifesting wealth for you," "You're too kind, good karma is coming your way," "May you win the lottery, get a promotion, have eight kids, and marry your crush." She didn't reply to any of that until the last one: "I claim that energy." Of course. Everyone wants to win the lottery. Me too. I paid and filled in my address. She messaged: "We're in the same city. Can you pick it up?" "Sure." A while later, she texted back: "Sorry, something came up. I have to go out of town tomorrow. I can't meet." I quickly typed: "I can come grab it now. Where are you?" She seemed cautious and didn't drop the address. "Too far. I'll have my family courier it to you tomorrow." The next afternoon, I didn't have classes. I got home, and the package was waiting. Excited, I tore open the box. My smile froze. Something was wrong. Very wrong. This laptop was Rose Gold. The one I bought in the pictures was Space Gray. And looking at the sleek design, this was the latest flagship model. The price tag on this thing was at least ten times what I paid. Confused, I turned it over in my hands. My finger accidentally brushed the power button. The screen lit up instantly. A familiar face stared back at me. I froze. It was a photo of me. In the picture, I was standing under a cherry blossom tree, holding an ice cream cone, waving at the camera with a goofy grin. Based on my outfit, I was in high school. I looked young, energetic. Alive. Unlike now—working a 9-to-5, running on fumes, basically quiet quitting life. Why would a stranger have my photo as their wallpaper? A thought crept in: Was this a surprise gift from a friend or family member? I did just complain on my Instagram story about my laptop dying. I looked at the password prompt. I typed in my birthday. Click. Unlocked. The desktop background was me, too. The laptop was pristine. No apps installed. Just the wallpaper change. My theory solidified. I grabbed my phone to text the seller, intending to ask which friend put her up to this so I could thank them properly. But before I could type, a barrage of notifications flooded my screen. "Girl, I am so sorry. I sent the wrong one. That's my sister's new computer." "It’s not the one I sold you! Ahhh, she’s going to kill me!" "Hello? Are you there? Please reply!" "I'm begging you. I was helping her ship stuff, I was half asleep, I grabbed the wrong box!" "Did you see the hot guy on the wallpaper? That’s her future husband. She cries if she doesn't see him for a day. She’s obsessed." "For the sake of a hopeless romantic, can you please return it?" 2 I stared at the phone in silence. The "future husband" on the wallpaper didn't even know he had a girlfriend. I tried to rationalize it. I’m a decent-looking guy. Maybe the photo got out online and became a stock image or a meme, and the seller just happened to use it. As for the birthday... plenty of people are born on the same day. Coincidence. The seller’s panic seemed genuine, albeit dramatic. "She cries if she doesn't see him." Sounds like something a middle schooler would write in fanfiction. I texted back: "Okay. I'll return it." I knew it was a mistake. My first instinct was to give it back. I didn't want them calling the cops. I just started my tenure-track teaching job. I needed stability, not a grand larceny charge. The seller sent a string of crying emojis and "Thank yous." "You're a lifesaver!" "I'll wait for you at the mall near the Elementary School. It should be close to you. Call me when you get there." "Deal." I grabbed the expensive laptop and headed to the mall. I scanned the entrance but didn't see anyone matching the seller’s vibe. I was about to call. Then I saw her. Lily Bennett. One of my students. She was staring at her oversized pink smartwatch, stomping her foot, looking nervous as hell. Seeing her triggered a memory from this morning. She had cornered me during recess, whispering: "Mr. Hayes, do you have a girlfriend?" I shook my head. "No, Lily." She clapped her hands and dragged another boy, Noah, over to me. She looked up with dead serious eyes. "Mr. Hayes, I have two options for you..." She paused, checked a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket, and continued. "Option one: You become my brother-in-law. Option two: You become his uncle-in-law. Pick one." I didn't process it immediately. Then I remembered Lily is Noah’s aunt. Noah chimed in, waving his arms. "Yeah! My aunt is super pretty, super nice. She’s tall, like 5'9", she’s a cop, and she’s got a great... personality!" I laughed. They were trying to set me up. But I didn't take a third grader’s matchmaking seriously. I held up two fingers. "I’ll give you two options. One: Double homework. Two: Triple homework. Pick one." They went silent. Lily’s face paled at the mention of homework. She grabbed Noah and bolted. Now, seeing her at the mall, I wanted to hide. Lily was a chatterbox. I didn't need another "Choose your own adventure" dating proposal. I turned around, pretending to inspect the sky, then my shoes. Don't make eye contact. "Mr. Hayes!" Too late. She sprinted toward me on her short legs, waving frantically. "What a coincidence, Mr. Hayes!" Then her voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. "You're not waiting for a girlfriend, are you?" I rubbed my temples. I looked around. No parents. It was 7:30 PM. Sun was setting. I crouched down to her level. "What are you doing here? Where are your parents?" Lily flashed her smartwatch. "I may look like I'm loitering, but I am actually protecting my sister's love life... and my own life!" She was so dramatic. "Does your mom know you're here? It's getting dark." Lily pointed to a sleek luxury car parked by the curb. "It's fine. The driver is right there." I nodded. Then I remembered why I was here. I hadn't found the seller yet. I dialed the number from the chat. The next second. Lily’s smartwatch started ringing. 3 I have never seen a child’s face cycle through so many emotions in five seconds. Lily stared at the laptop in my arms. Her jaw dropped. Her eyes widened. Then, realization hit her like a truck. Her voice trembled. "Mr... Mr. Hayes? You bought the computer?" "I... uh... I was just making stuff up on the app!" I handed the laptop to her. "Here. Take it." I paused. "Lying isn't a good habit, Lily. Also, tell your sister to refund my money." Lily panicked. "Teacher! I can't refund it! If the money disappears, she'll know I sold it to you! She'll kill me!" She rubbed her face, fake crying. "Boohoo, she hits really hard. You don't want me to come to school with a black eye, do you?" "I thought you said she was a cop? Cops beat people up?" "What? Oh! No! She doesn't hit people. She only hits me. No, wait, she doesn't hit me either. She's actually really nice! A total sweetheart! Mr. Hayes, please..." Her lie was falling apart. I sighed. "Lily, listen. You haven't given me the other computer—the one I actually paid for. If I don't get a computer, I need a refund. That's how math works." Lily wiped her dry tears and looked up at me with puppy dog eyes. "Mr. Hayes... can you come to my house and get it?" 4 I followed Lily into her house. Everyone in the living room turned to look at us. Lily greeted them politely. "Hi Mom, hi Dad." "Sis... you're back?" I followed her gaze to a woman resting on the sofa, eyes closed. This must be the older sister. She wore a casual T-shirt and sweatpants. Her skin was a healthy tan, and even relaxed, I could see the definition of muscles under the fabric. She had long legs, sharp features, and an undeniable aura of cool. Lily didn't mention her sister looked like a supermodel. I stared. I couldn't help it. Lily tugged on my sleeve. "Mr. Hayes, you're drooling." "I am not." I coughed awkwardly and whispered, "Just get me the computer." Lily ran over to the sleeping woman and shook her arm. "Riley! Wake up! Emergency! Big emergency!" The parents intervened. "Lily, stop it. Riley just got back from a case. She's exhausted." The parents walked over to me, looking confused. "And you are?" I was confused too. Lily's "parent" added me on social media right after the school year started. They liked all my posts. I post a lot. Selfies, rants, food. There’s no way they wouldn't recognize me. But they looked at me like a total stranger. I smiled professionally. "Hi, I'm Lily's homeroom teacher, Harper Hayes." Before the parents could react, the woman on the couch snapped her eyes open. She looked straight at me. Her gaze was sharp, tactical. Police eyes. I quickly looked away to avoid being caught staring. "Oh! Mr. Hayes! Come in, come in!" The parents ushered me in. Lily, meanwhile, was ignoring the mission. She was bargaining with her sister. "Tank! Buy me the big Lego tank! Or else..." Riley Bennett covered her ears, grabbed Lily by the collar of her uniform, and tossed her aside like a sack of potatoes. "I said no tank until you pass Math. Be quiet." I sat on the sofa. Lily's mom brought me tea. "Mr. Hayes, did Lily get in trouble? She is a handful. If she's bothering you, let us know." "No, no," I waved my hands. "Lily is great. I actually... bought a computer from Lily. Or rather, from Riley. I'm just here to pick it up." "Riley? Why are you just standing there? Go get Mr. Hayes his computer." Riley stood up, frowning slightly. Her eyes—beautiful, almond-shaped—seemed deep in thought. She walked past me without a word, heading to her room. Lily punched the sofa cushion. "She won't buy it. She's a villain. Riley Bennett is a villain." I decided to make small talk to break the tension. "Lily is actually a good student. Very talkative. She's already talked three desk-mates into requesting a seat change..." Before I could finish, a slice of orange was shoved into my mouth. "Mr. Hayes, you talk too much. Eat some fruit. My sister peeled it." I looked down at the little menace. She was glaring at me. Lily hopped off the sofa and dragged the expensive laptop onto the coffee table. She opened it. The screen lit up. My face, under the cherry blossom tree, beamed at the whole family. Lily went "Whoa!" Her parents leaned in. Then looked at the screen. Then at me. Riley walked out of her bedroom at that exact moment. Lily made a dramatic 'O' shape with her mouth. "Oh my god, Riley! Why is Mr. Hayes on your wallpaper? That’s so... specific."
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