My boyfriend tried to drag me into a suicide pact with him. Not only did I refuse to die, but I held his head underwater and drowned him myself. Forty years ago, our love was forbidden by social norms, so he asked me to jump into the river with him to end it all. Julian died, but I was rescued. Filled with guilt and pain, I lived a miserable, lonely life, working myself to the bone to support Julian's parents and younger brother. But forty years later, as I lay dying in a hospital bed, broken and sick... Julian, who was supposed to be dead, suddenly appeared before me, alive and well, hand-in-hand with an elegant, educated woman who had aged gracefully. "One fake death and you were fooled for decades. A stupid woman like you actually thought I could love her?" "But thanks anyway. If you hadn't supported my family, I wouldn't have had the peace of mind to take the college entrance exams, and I wouldn't have had the chance to live happily ever after with my sweet Sarah." "Oh, by the way, Toby isn't my little brother. He's actually mine and Sarah's son! We had him before I even met you!" They kissed passionately in front of me, and I died consumed by monstrous hatred. When I opened my eyes again, I was back forty years ago, on the day Julian dragged me to commit suicide. 1 "Hannah! Let's meet again in the next life!" The familiar voice from my memory echoed in my ears, accompanied by the chill of river water. Before I could even react, the man in front of me jumped in with a splash. Looking at his face, rage instantly erupted in my heart. It was Julian! How did he suddenly become so young? And this river... isn't this the same one where he tried to commit suicide with me forty years ago? Was I reborn? I didn't have time to think. I walked straight up to him. If you like playing dead so much, then play dead forever! As he dipped his head underwater, I whispered something next to him. "Her name is Sarah, right?" His body trembled violently, trying to lift his head, but I was already holding it down firmly under the surface. I was a rough country girl. I didn't have book smarts, but I had strength from years of farm work. Julian was an intellectual who spent his days buried in books. He was skinny as a rail and no match for me. He thrashed wildly in the water, his body tensing from the pain of suffocation. "Toby isn't your brother at all, is he? He's your son with Sarah! Did you take me for a fool?" "Rest assured, I won't support your parents or your son. Not a single one! As for your lover, I'll make her pay!" "And you... go in peace!" By the end, my voice was trembling with a maniacal edge. The joy of revenge surged through my entire body. Only when Julian stopped moving completely did I let go. Before fear of my actions could set in, I plunged my head into the water. Even as I choked and sputtered, nearly breaking down, I couldn't surface for a second. I couldn't let passersby see anything unusual. It wasn't until consciousness was slipping away that I heard shouts from the bank. "Help! Someone jumped in the river!" 2 When I was revived, a slap landed hard across my face. It was Julian's mother, Mrs. Vance, glaring at me with fury. Behind her was a large coffin. "You animal! You killed my son! You heartless wretch!" Then, she and her husband, Mr. Vance, started kicking and punching me. If people hadn't pulled them off, my frail body would have been beaten to death right there. "Where's Julian? How is he?" I feigned anxiety, asking what I already knew. "Julian is dead! Are you happy now?" Mrs. Vance spat at me, but she couldn't hide the triumphant glint in her eyes. It seemed she didn't know her son was actually dead. "You slut, how do you have the nerve to live? Crawl over here and kowtow to Julian!" Then, Mrs. Vance and Mr. Vance rushed forward, pinning me down in front of the coffin. They slammed my face into the dirt as if venting their rage, nearly breaking my nose. Luckily, the town mayor intervened just in time, saving my nose. "What is wrong with you young people? Always so dramatic about life and death. Now look what happened. A fine young man, an intellectual, gone just like that." "Hannah, since you survived, you must carry Julian's will. Don't do anything foolish again!" The mayor sighed with regret. Meanwhile, Mrs. Vance fell to her knees, wailing theatrically. "My poor son! Now that you're gone, how will your father, your brother, and I live? Hannah, if you have any conscience, you'll take Julian's place and support us. From now on, you hand over all your wages!" "And sell whatever valuables you have at home! Didn't your mother leave you a jade bracelet?" As she cried, her greed became undisguised. Already eyeing my family heirloom? I glanced at her coldly, then walked straight to the coffin. I opened the lid a crack. Julian's face was gray, his lips purple. There was no coming back from that. Good. I was relieved. With that thought, I threw myself onto the coffin and let out a heart-wrenching wail. "Julian! It's all my fault! I killed you!" Hearing me, Mrs. Vance almost laughed out loud. She said shamelessly, "Don't think putting on this show makes you my daughter-in-law. You? A stupid country bumpkin like you isn't even fit to be Julian's maid! But... if you're obedient and serve us well, maybe I'll be generous and give you a title!" Looking at her face, I suppressed the urge to slap her and nodded tearfully. "Don't worry, I will. But before Julian is buried, I have one request." I looked at the mayor and said decisively. "Julian dedicated his life to serving the country. He was progressive and forward-thinking. So I think... we should cremate him!" 3 "Good, good! A true progressive youth! I'll arrange it immediately!" the mayor said excitedly. It was the 80s. Although cremation was becoming more common, it was still taboo in rural villages like ours. That's why the mayor was so pleased with my "enlightened" stance. But Mrs. Vance wouldn't have it. They knew their precious son was just playing dead inside! They rushed forward, blocking the coffin, cursing at me. "You bitch! You have bad intentions! You want to burn him when he's already dead? Julian, you fool! How did you fall for such a demon?" I put on a pitiful face. "I just want to fulfill Julian's wish." The mayor chimed in. "Exactly. We've been educating everyone—burial harms the environment, cremation contributes to society. Julian would agree from the afterlife." Mrs. Vance adamantly refused, rolling on the ground in a tantrum. "No! I don't care! No cremation! Whoever burns my son, I'll burn them!" Seeing this, the mayor had to give in. To him, she was just a pitiful old woman wanting to preserve her son's body. Just then, a graceful figure walked over. "Hannah, I know you mean well, but have you considered Julian's parents' feelings? Don't be so heartless." I looked closely. Wasn't this Sarah? In my past life, we were just acquaintances in the village. After Julian "died," she left too. I never imagined she and Julian had a thing. Looking at her now, she wasn't much different from the woman I saw by the hospital bed in my previous life. She stole the good life that should have been mine! The thought made my blood boil. Suddenly, a small child rushed up, kicking and punching me indiscriminately. "Bitch! Whore! You want to burn my brother! I'll kill you!" It was Toby! Foul-mouthed and disrespectful. In my past life, filled with guilt toward their family, I tolerated Toby's rudeness and tirelessly sent him money and care. Since he was an ungrateful wolf, I didn't need to pretend to be gentle in this life. "Tsk, no manners, no upbringing. Needs a beating!" I slapped him hard across the face. 4 The slap stunned Toby. He stood there covering his face, bewildered. Mrs. Vance and Sarah screamed, both rushing to check on Toby with undeniable heartache in their eyes. "You shrew! How can you hit a child? Are you human?" Mrs. Vance yelled at me. "A child with such a filthy mouth needs discipline! Since I'm taking care of him for Julian, I have to be strict. Otherwise, what if he grows up to be a hoodlum or a rapist?" I said calmly. As expected, Sarah trembled with rage and retorted. "Your son will be the rapist! Toby doesn't need you to discipline him!" She realized her slip and shut her mouth. I looked at her sideways and asked slowly. "Oh, Sarah, why is an outsider so concerned with our family affairs? Toby doesn't need me... you mean, you'll manage him?" Sarah blushed, stammering for a moment. "I... I just can't stand your shrewish ways. No wonder Julian despised you..." "Oh, you know a lot about us. Wait, is there something going on between you two?" I asked with feigned surprise. "You're spitting blood! A shrew like you would be despised by any man!" Sarah looked uncomfortable, guilt evident in her eyes. "In that case, I won't bother. Mayor, could you please find a good family to adopt this child?" At this, Sarah and Mrs. Vance gasped again. Mrs. Vance almost blurted out the truth. "Are you crazy? Where are you sending my grand... son?" "Look, you two are old and frail. You can't raise a child. I can't afford to raise him either. Better to find him a good home where he won't starve, right?" "Don't worry, once I make money, I'll bring Toby back!" I patted my chest, guaranteeing it. Sarah was shaking with anger, pointing at my nose. "You heartless woman! Toby lost his brother, and now you want him to lose his parents too? It's just raising a child. You can work three jobs if you have to!" "Oh? Since Sarah finds it so easy, why don't you work three jobs to raise him?" I laughed, patting her shoulder. "I... I... this is your responsibility!" Sarah raged. The mayor stepped in to mediate again. "Sarah is still young and has to marry. How can she drag a child along?" I immediately followed up. "Exactly! I have to marry too. Dragging a child along would be inconvenient. Let's do as I said."
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