There was a little wild spider in my apartment. After a brief stare-down, it dropped a coin and ran away. That night, a black, fuzzy little spider visited me in my dreams, acting incredibly cowardly. "...Hi there. The money is for you. Could you please, please not destroy the web I weave?" It added in a trembling voice: "Also... also, please don't poke my butt anymore. I'm scared!" "I know living in a human's house means paying rent. I will work hard to earn money and pay my share." The little spider peeked out with just a sliver of its eyes. I looked down, staring at it. After a long while, I squeezed out a sentence. "Wait a minute... you look kind of familiar." 1 It happened a second time. Another coin appeared on my vanity. And my vanity, which was a bit messy last night, had been tidied up. Everything was neatly organized. But this time. I caught the culprit red-handed. "A... spider?" The little spider, who was dragging the heavy coin with its back to me, froze. It slowly turned its head. Those oOOo eyes were filled with disbelief at seeing me awake. We stared at each other. The little spider got so scared its eight legs puffed out. It looked like a frightened kitten with its fur standing on end. It dropped the coin and ran. It scurried half a meter in a flash and vanished in the blink of an eye. I stood in silence, walked out of the room without a word. Then walked back in. "Maybe I organized the desk myself before bed last night and just forgot." I comforted myself with a blank expression. I pretended not to see the extra coin. Then I grabbed my bag and scrambled out the door to go to work. Not because I was scared, but because if I didn't leave now, I'd lose my perfect attendance bonus! That evening. I came home exhausted from work, not wanting to think about the bizarre event from the morning. But I still took a shower using sage and rosemary soap, just in case. I stared at the spotless ceiling for a while. Eventually. I confirmed that the cobwebs in the corner had been swept away. So I spoke to the air, "I don't know if you're a spider or a ghost controlling a spider, but thanks." "The ceiling corners are very clean. It's much nicer to look at." Silence. I didn't expect an answer anyway. But then, I heard a voice as faint as a mosquito from the corner: "...You're welcome." Me: "..." Ideally polite, for a bug. 2 That night, I dreamed. A fuzzy black spider with a tint of purple stood anxiously before me, keeping a meter's distance. "I'm sorry to communicate with you this way, but I really have no other choice." The little spider covered its face with two front legs, pleading cowardly. "...Hi there. The money is for you. Could you please not destroy the web I weave anymore?" It added, trembling: "Also... also, please don't poke my butt anymore. I'm scared!" "I know living in a human's house means paying rent. I will work hard to earn money and pay my share." Actually, the spider didn't cover its face completely; it peeked out with a sliver of its eyes. I looked down, staring at it. After a long while. I squeezed out a sentence. "Wait a minute... you look kind of familiar." My gaze uncontrollably landed on the spider's fuzzy, oval, solid butt. I've seen it somewhere. I suddenly recalled, realizing with a start. "You're that spider on the balcony corner who weaves webs meticulously but makes them look terrible!" The little spider stiffened. The fear of being molested returned. It ran away crying, "Pervert—" 3 The little spider arrived a week ago. When I found it, it was struggling to pull back the web it had just woven, like a human rushing to take clothes off the line when it rains. I didn't notice it at the time and almost slapped it into the afterlife. Of course. I'm not a pervert. I was just spacing out after watering the plants on the balcony, and then I saw the fuzzy little spider weaving silently in the corner. Its butt was too distracting; the spinnerets at the back moved so fast. Like I was possessed. I found a disposable glove and poked it. Unlike other ordinary house spiders, this one was deep black with a purple hue, had faint stripes on the edge of its abdomen, and was extra fuzzy. Spiders that appear in homes are generally non-venomous, or if they are, it's very weak. So I wasn't afraid of getting bitten. The fuzzy spider butt was indeed plump and solid. I stared at my fingertip, unable to resist rubbing it. "Just as I thought, heavy, a bit soft, feels great." "...Truly the kitten of the spider world." The little spider probably experienced this for the first time. It turned around stiffly, looking like it was about to fight me for touching it again. "Uh, sorry?" Just now, did it glare at me? "..." The spider walked away, moving its legs in a clumsy, synchronized panic, swallowing its anger. 4 We lived in peace for a week. Occasionally, I'd get curious and poke a hole in its web, and the little spider wouldn't get mad. It would just wait for me to leave, then silently wiggle its butt to repair the web. "Ew... so sticky." The little spider blinked its oOOo dorky eyes and turned around at the sound. Its gaze landed on my fingertip, where there was... a piece of the web it had just woven, now broken. I did it again. I withdrew my hand sheepishly, a bit embarrassed. The spider didn't run away. Instead, it frantically stuck its butt out at me, waving its little legs. I hesitated. "Do you want me to touch it? Okay." So I reached out. "!!" The little spider covered its butt in horror and zoomed away. I thought it wanted me to touch it. But looking back, that wasn't the case. I waved my hands frantically, "I'm not a pervert." The honest little spider cried and accused me. It hid far away from me, sobbing quietly. "Don't say that word." It seemed even less able to handle the word 'pervert' than I was, breaking down: "You touched me... and you say you're not a pervert!" "I clearly warned you." I was confused, "Did you?" The spider was exasperated by my cluelessness. It tapped out from the corner and repeated its previous action. "Are you blind?" The spider choked back tears, "This is my attack stance. I was warning you." "When spiders are scared, they stick their butts up to look bigger and scare off enemies." "But... but you didn't say a word and just touched me!" "And you destroyed my web. I can't even get full." "If this goes on, I might starve to death." The spider whimpered, totally breaking down. Turns out I misunderstood. I thought the spider was offering its butt for me to poke. "Sorry, I didn't know." I apologized honestly to the spider, promising not to break its hard-woven web again, and promised compensation. The spider sniffled, asking in a hoarse voice: "Really?" I hummed a yes. "Next time I'll use the electric fly swatter to zap some mosquitoes for you, throw them on your web, give you a deluxe feast." The spider wiped its tears while choking up. Then it said I was a good person. "Turns out prison isn't that hard to endure. You're not at all as scary as the Warden said." Me: "?"
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