My whole family went to Aspen for a winter trip to see the snow. My husband told me not to buy a down jacket, saying it wouldn't be cold and it was a waste of money. I listened to him and only packed a thin coat and flats. But when no one was looking, I silently searched on my phone: [How long does it take for an adult male to freeze to death in -22°F weather?] 1 Near the end of the year, my husband, Mark, said things were slow at work and planned to take his annual leave to take our family on a trip. Our son had mentioned wanting to see snow in the north many times, so the destination was Aspen, Colorado. A week before leaving, I was browsing down jackets online. Mark glanced at my phone screen, and his face immediately darkened. "You wasteful woman, who told you to buy a down jacket? Why buy a jacket that costs hundreds of dollars just to wear once!" I quickly explained, "It's minus twenty-two degrees there right now." "Cold in the north is physical; cold in the south is magical. The north isn't damp and cold like the south at all." Where we live, it's hot all year round. Even when it's coldest, a fleece jacket is enough. Mark's face clearly showed impatience. He grabbed my phone and deleted all the down jackets from my cart. He threw the phone back at me unkindly. The phone hit my eye socket, making me cry out in pain, tears streaming down. He smiled triumphantly. "I work hard to make money outside, and you spend it without a care. How did I marry such an unlucky woman?" I didn't speak. I silently got up and went to the bathroom to rinse my swollen eye with cold water. Because I knew if I talked back to Mark, I would only get a more violent beating. When I returned to the bedroom, Mark had turned off the light and gone to sleep. I tiptoed to the bedside, staring unblinkingly at the sleeping Mark. If I did something now, he wouldn't know, right? No, for the sake of my two children, I have to endure. They can have a family without a father, but they can't have a mother with a criminal record. According to Mark's request, the whole family only packed thin coats and flats. I didn't even bring thermal underwear. A small suitcase for four people, and there was still space left. On the way to the airport, Mark bragged while driving: "Don't be like your mom when you grow up, making a big deal out of nothing. We're used to the damp cold in the south; we're not afraid of winter in the north at all. You'll see when we get off the plane." My son and daughter were still young, at the age where they just wanted to play. Thinking only about going on a trip, they didn't understand what Mark was saying at all. I smiled gently at Mark. "Hubby, you know so much." He freed a hand, pinched my cheek hard, and smiled with satisfaction. "That's more like it." In his eyes, I was like a doll he could manipulate at will. If the food I cooked wasn't to his liking, he would dump it directly on my head. Regardless of time or place, if he wanted to, he would force himself on me like a dog in heat. Any slight disobedience, even having a nightmare, would become a reason for him to beat me. Every day living with him was lived in extreme tension and fear. The plane roared, and we flew high into the sky. Mark kept hitting his ears because of the tinnitus. I whispered in his ear: "Hubby, have a safe trip." 2 The plane landed at Aspen-Pitkin County Airport. Walking through the jet bridge, the cold had already seeped in from outside. Mark's face turned a bit pale, but he remained stubborn: "See, I said it wouldn't be cold at all. No need for down jackets." Passengers getting off with us heard him and looked back at him like he was an idiot. Upon reaching the arrival hall, more tourists from the south were changing into warm clothes in the restrooms. Mark whispered sarcastically that people were doing unnecessary things. My son pulled my hand, saying in a milky voice, "Mommy, I'm cold." I rubbed his head lovingly. It's okay, our saviors will be here soon. My best friend, Sarah, brought her boyfriend, Jason, to pick us up. She and Jason were carrying bags big and small. Seeing me, Sarah gave me a huge hug. I heard her choking voice in my ear. "You're finally here." I hugged her back, holding back the sourness. "Long time no see. Mark and I have been talking about you." Sarah, Mark, and I were college classmates. Back then, the three of us were close, almost inseparable at school. Only then did Sarah smile and tease Mark: "Did you lock Moon up? You haven't let her come play with me for so many years." Mark always maintained the image of a good husband outside. He gently pulled me into his arms. "Who told you to run so far away? I can't bear for my wife to travel so much." Sarah's complicated gaze went back and forth between Mark and me, finally smiling meaningfully. "You're still the wife-doting maniac as always." Sarah took out the things from her two big bags. She said these were the down jackets she prepared for us. Mark looked a bit unhappy, stubbornly saying, "I don't need to wear it. Your north isn't cold at all." "Don't be polite with me. I already bought them, just do me a favor." Saying that, Sarah handed Mark his jacket. In college, Mark had a crush on Sarah, but she had a boyfriend then. He settled for pursuing me, and I, dazzled by his sweet words, agreed to be with him. Seeing his white moonlight smiling at him, Mark was mesmerized and accepted the down jacket. The children and I changed into ankle-length down jackets. Looking back, Mark was annoyedly stuffing his arms into the sleeves. Sarah snickered. "Oh my, Mark, you've rounded out quite a bit these years. I bought the clothes based on your size in college." Mark lost face and threw his jacket unhappily on my head. "I'm dying of heat and don't want to wear it at all. Put away Sarah's kindness." My hair was messed up by the hit, looking messy due to static electricity. Sarah wanted to reach out to help me, but I quickly signaled her not to come over. Sarah's boyfriend, Jason, is eight years younger than her, a tall and handsome puppy dog. Jason thoughtfully came over to help me with the luggage. Although Mark didn't stop him, his gloomy gaze kept staring at me. I lowered my head, pulled the two children, and hurried outside. When leaving the hall and contacting the real outdoor temperature, I saw Mark freeze for a moment. His whole body stiffened, and every step was extremely difficult. He cared about face; even if he was freezing enough to pee blood, he wouldn't make a sound. Fortunately, the car was right there, and he was the first to drill in. 3 Sarah took us back to her villa. As soon as we got back, Jason insisted on dragging Mark out for a smoke, and I finally had a chance to talk to Sarah. Once the door closed, Sarah let loose, cursing Mark's ancestors. "You went through such a big circle, bought down jackets and mailed them here specifically, what is this for?" Actually, the down jackets Sarah brought today were bought by me. "Mark wouldn't let me buy them, saying I spend money recklessly. If he knew, he would definitely beat me again." "He treats you like this, why don't you divorce him?" "I proposed divorce the first time he hit me. He locked me at home and beat me for three days, forcing me to swear never to bring up divorce again." Mark and I got married right after graduation, and soon had a son. To take care of the child, I haven't gone out to work, staying at home as a full-time mom. Mark pretended to be a model husband at first, but during my confinement, just because I broke a plate, he grabbed the shards and beat me severely. I was covered in cuts from the shards, and I still have scars now. Looking at the scars on my body, Sarah trembled with anger. "This is murder. I want to call the police to arrest him." I forced a numb smile, looking at Sarah sorrowfully. "I've used every method you can think of... but it's useless, no one can save me." I had reached out for help countless times, but those hands only pulled me back and advised me: —Go live well with him. —You have children, bear it for the children. —Every couple fights. A day as husband and wife means a hundred days of grace. Calm down, don't be impulsive. I consulted lawyers and even installed cameras at home. But Mark wasn't afraid at all. He said even if I had evidence, as long as he didn't agree, our marriage couldn't end. And facts proved so. I fought for half a year, during which I was beaten into the hospital by Mark three times. The last time, he threatened me that if I dared to divorce, he would kill my parents. Since then, I never mentioned divorce again. Soon, we had a daughter. I started pretending to accept my fate, not resisting, not making noise. Mark enjoyed the current days very much. During this time, I secretly worked part-time online. Now I can earn three or four thousand dollars a month drawing illustrations, enough to support me and the children. I also asked my parents to buy a house in Florida and let them stay there for the winter. Everything is ready, just one step away from the good life I imagined. Since Mark doesn't want a divorce, then let him be widowed. 4 At night, I put the children to sleep. Mark came back smelling of smoke. He smoked with Jason on the balcony and was frozen stiff. I felt a cold body drill into the quilt. I closed my eyes pretending to be asleep. Mark's side lit up; he was playing with his phone. Squinting, I saw him open WeChat, chatting with a contact named "Little Wild Cat." [Little Wild Cat]: [Brother Mark, have you arrived in Aspen? I can't wait to see you.] [No Desire No Want]: [Brother can't wait to see my Little Wild Cat too. Did you receive the clothes I sent you?] I opened my eyes sleepily and asked him, "Hubby, why aren't you sleeping yet?" Mark quickly put away his phone and got up to go outside. "None of your business!" After he left the bedroom, I took out a spare phone from the drawer. On the secondary WeChat account, Mark was sending me messages non-stop. Yes, Little Wild Cat is me. That idiot Mark still doesn't know the person he's been chatting with for three months isn't fictional. [No Desire No Want]: [Brother can't wait to see you wearing that dress. Where do you live? I'll come find you now?] [Little Wild Cat]: [Annoying, I don't want to see you.] [No Desire No Want]: [I spent a lot of money on plane tickets just to see you. Are you playing me?] [Little Wild Cat]: [I'm going to sleep, goodnight.] After sending the last message, I put away the phone and covered myself with the quilt to sleep. Sure enough, Mark came back depressed not long after. He slammed the door shut. The room lights turned on brightly. I pretended to wake up startled, looking at him in surprise. "What's wrong, hubby?" His eyes were red, his eyebrows pressed low, looking fierce. He suddenly rushed over, grabbed my hair, and pulled me from the bed to the floor. I felt my scalp about to tear. Mark was in a bad mood because of being rejected. He would beat me to vent his anger whenever he was unhappy. Just as his fist was about to fall, I suddenly started struggling violently. "If you hit me now, you'll definitely wake up Sarah and the others. Your image as a good husband won't be kept!" Maybe because I hadn't contradicted him for too long, Mark was stunned. He pinched my chin tightly, his eyes locking onto me. He gritted his teeth and said, "Just you wait, see how I deal with you when we get back." He worked hard to maintain his image of a successful career and harmonious family outside. He would absolutely not leave any gossip for anyone.
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