In the year my social anxiety was at its peak, I played mute in the bed of Julian Blackwood, the billionaire heir of New York. No matter how hard he worked, I just gritted my teeth and didn't make a sound. Until his "one that got away" was returning to the country, and he wired me a $30 million severance package. Overwhelmed with excitement, I blurted out: "Thank you, boss! You're so generous!" I covered my mouth guiltily, while the man laughed in disbelief. "My little mute, don't tell me I just pounded a medical miracle out of you?" 1 Being a mute sugar baby had its perks. No need for flattery off the bed. No need to praise the sugar daddy in bed. The only downside was— I couldn't curse when I was desperate. Like right now. Julian noticed I was zoning out. His hands gripped my waist. He flipped me over roughly. Gnawing and biting. Ferocious, as if he wanted to tear my flesh off and swallow it whole. Ahhh, you dog! I cursed wildly in my heart. But on the surface, I was pitifully weak. Eyes red, tears falling plip-plop. Finding leverage in the shaking. Hugging the man's neck. Rubbing my cheek against his, begging for mercy. Based on experience. As long as I put on this expression. Julian would end the battle quickly. But tonight, he seemed possessed. He pulled out one ultra-thin condom after another. From the bed to the bathroom to the sofa. Making a fuss until midnight. Only then did he carry me back to bed, satisfied. I was exhausted. But thinking about what was coming next. Sleepiness vanished instantly. This afternoon, one of Julian's friends visited. The study door wasn't closed tight. Whispers drifted out. "Gigi is coming back tomorrow. Will you send a car or pick her up yourself?" "Is 'Gigi' a name you're allowed to call her?" Julian's voice was cold. The man quickly corrected himself. "Okay, okay, I'm not worthy. That's your exclusive nickname..." Though begging for mercy, it was mostly teasing. Everyone in the circle knew Julian had a "white moonlight"—the one that got away—whom he couldn't forget. She was well-protected by Julian. People only knew of her existence. Didn't know her name, or what she looked like. No one knew why they weren't together. Once, when I was helping Julian organize his study. I saw a yellowed old photo. The girl wore a hat, side profile to the camera. The only visible half-face. Resembled me by eighty percent. The memory of meeting Julian for the first time flashed through my mind. I was playing on my phone by the roadside. A car stopped in front of me. Without looking, I thought it was my Uber. Opened the door and sat in. When you're out, you give yourself your own identity. As a socially anxious person, to avoid small talk with drivers. Every time I got in a car, I'd pull out a prepared scrolling screen on my phone. [I am mute, please do not talk to me.] The moment I shoved the phone out. I realized the driver was a cold, noble, handsome man. So handsome that even if he drove for Uber. His aura made the car look like a luxury vehicle I couldn't afford. He looked at my phone screen again and again. Stunned for a long time, before asking hoarsely where I was going. ... Seeing the photo, I realized. Julian's loss of composure back then. Wasn't because I got in the wrong car. He didn't kick me out on the spot. Wasn't because of my fake mute identity. But because I looked like his "white moonlight." The office was silent for a moment, then voices rose again. "What about the one at home?" "Timid, and a mute. Probably can't be seen in public..." I didn't listen further. Sensibly turned and left. If I didn't leave, I wouldn't be able to control my emotions. And laugh out loud on the spot. Three years! Three whole years! Played mute for three years! Finally endured until the breakup! So happy I couldn't sleep at all. I turned my back to Julian. Unlocked my phone, clicked into the "Sugar Canary Support Group." I was pulled in by an enthusiastic girl at a dinner party I attended with Julian. The ultimate goal of the group members was to get a sky-high breakup fee. Financial freedom, lying flat for retirement. I couldn't help sharing in the group. [Julian's white moonlight is coming back soon!] As soon as the message went out, the night owls exploded. [Ahhh, congrats Lily!] [Pick her up, pick her up! Heard my sugar daddy's white moonlight is studying in Germany...] [Envious of you sisters, mine doesn't have a white moonlight (lifeless version)] After a wave of envy, Sarah @ me curiously. [Mr. Blackwood is so rich and generous to you, the breakup fee must be huge!] Julian had always been generous to me. Fifty thousand dollars a month for pocket money. Sending bags and jewelry every few days. Occasionally giving luxury cars and houses on a whim. I didn't take the cars or houses. After all, a poor person can't afford to maintain a luxury car! Can't afford the property management fees for a mansion! Hard to take away, selling requires an agent... Just thinking about it made a socially anxious person collapse. So the only hope for getting rich was Julian's breakup fee. A few million? Or tens of millions? The more I thought, the more excited I got, twisting like a pretzel in bed. The next second, I was dragged back into the man's arms. "Not sleepy?" The hot body pressed up again. I was scared and used my hands and feet to push him away. Put my hands together under my face. Signaling I'd sleep immediately! "Tomorrow I'm going to the airport to pick up someone very important to me." I snapped open the eyes I just closed. Julian asked casually: "Do you... want to come along?" I was dumbfounded. Who? Me? Asking me if I want to go? The substitute picking up the white moonlight. Are you planning to anger the white moonlight to death on the spot? I shook my head violently. Julian looked at me intently. "Alright... you're timid. See her when you want to." Julian always indulged me. When we first got together, he mentioned arranging a job for me. After I refused, he never brought it up again. As a socially anxious shut-in. This life of not having to go out to work. Being fed and clothed. I actually was a bit reluctant to leave. Emotions uncontrollably dipped low. At this moment, the phone vibrated. It was a text notification of a bank transfer. "I probably won't be back tomorrow night. Might not have time to accompany you for the next two days." "Take this money, buy whatever you like..." I didn't pay attention to Julian. Staring at the phone screen with glowing eyes. One, ten, hundred, thousand, ten thousand, hundred thousand, million, ten million... Rubbed my eyes. Counted again and again. It really was eight figures! Julian gave a breakup fee of thirty million! Thirty million! Poor person suddenly rich. Money rushed to my head. In excitement, I blurted out: "Thank you boss! Boss is generous!" "..." Eyes met. The atmosphere instantly solidified. Doomed! Overjoyed and forgot I was a mute! Just how can a person be so polite. Realizing what stupid thing I did. I covered my mouth guiltily. Waist softened, body slid down. Buried myself in the blanket. The next instant, I was lifted up by the scruff of my neck by the man. "Little mute." The little girl he pampered in his heart for three years suddenly wasn't mute. Julian was practically laughed out of anger. "Don't tell me, I just pounded a medical miracle out of you?" Haha. This cold joke wasn't funny at all. Nowhere to hide. To block the burning gaze scanning my body. I had to cover my face tightly with my hands. "Little mute, speak." I shook my head, voice muffled. "Mutes can't speak." "..." Julian pinched the bridge of his nose. Looking at the little girl in front of him, face red. Wishing she could hide, he felt helpless. "Don't you have anything to say?" I bit my lip, a bit lost. Yes, I pretended to be mute and deceived him. I don't defend myself. And the breakup fee has already arrived. What else is there to say? I have nothing to say! But obviously, I had to say something now. Change of thought. Think about what Julian wants to hear, loves to hear. Suddenly, a flash of inspiration. "Brother..." Julian's breath hitched. As a cultured person. I desperately recalled the past readings. Those indescribable smut novels. Picking and choosing, finally found a sentence I could say. "Brother is so big... so great, I like it so much..." I praised stutteringly. Uneasily moved the two fingers covering my eyes. Glanced at Julian's expression. Eyebrows raised, corners of the mouth not tight. Seemed not angry? Pretending to be mute to escape for so long, finally couldn't hide. Luckily tonight was the last night being a canary. I racked my brains, searching all inventory in my head. "Brother is so amazing tonight, fierce like you took medicine." Julian's face instantly blackened. "What did you say? Say it again?" I swallowed. Was something wrong with that? Maybe he didn't like being called Brother? Right, Julian was older after all. Couldn't appreciate the "Oppa/Brother" sentiment. Heart beating like a drum. I summoned my courage and repeated: "Daddy is so amazing tonight..." The rest of the words were unspoken. Swallowed by the sticky entanglement. The man grabbed my hands that didn't know where to put. Going lower and lower. Julian's dark eyes glowed green in the dim wall light. "Little mute, call me that again." ... Dawn was breaking. The man was so excited as if he opened the door to a new world. I buried my wet head in the pillow. Thinking dizzily. Luckily I was wise before, pretended to be mute for three years. Otherwise, I would definitely die in bed! 2 Woke up again in the afternoon. Body sore all over. Throat hoarse from shouting all night, couldn't speak. Now truly mute. Dragged legs like prosthetics downstairs. Aunt Wang saw me. Nodded greeting, turned into the kitchen to bring warm porridge to the table. Did all this, then like a house elf. Quietly disappeared. Julian knew I didn't like contact with strangers. So he instructed from the start. Everyone entering and leaving the house must lower their presence. Very friendly to social phobia. The more I thought, the more I felt Julian was actually quite good. Rich and handsome, detailed where he should be. Rough where he shouldn't be detailed. The only flaw was. There was another woman in his heart. "Sigh..." I was melancholic for three seconds. Hand inadvertently clicked open the thirty million transfer record. Seems, it appears... Not that much love anymore huh. My heart is too small, only holds money. As for Julian? Forget it, seeing as he's a good person. Let's help him out! Thinking this. I lay back on the bed with peace of mind. Opened a novel from the shelf. Chapter One: The White Moonlight Returns. Yes, need this. Study study. Half an hour later. I was pissed off by the male and female leads who didn't communicate. Exited the novel expressionlessly. Opened WeChat, sent a cat peeking emoji to Julian. Julian replied instantly. "Awake? Aunt Wang kept the porridge warm for you, eat something good tonight, don't be greedy." "Still hurt? Better?" Ahhhhhhhh! Capable men ask if you're tired. Super capable men ask if it hurts, if it's better. I buried myself in the blanket, kicking my legs. After a long while, replied coldly. "Mm." Julian didn't reply instantly again. Probably busy. I took the opportunity to share collected articles. Don't Miss the Her Beside You. Men's Words Are Not As Good As Direct Action. Thirty Tips for Wooing Girls: Giving What They Like. ... Sent nearly ten articles, then clicked open a game with peace of mind. Played for over two hours. Checked messages again, realized Julian had replied long ago. "Received." What does "Received" mean? Work message sent to the wrong person? The next second received a call from Julian's assistant. Confused, went downstairs to open the door. The other party took out a black card and handed it to me. "Miss Lily, this is the supplementary card Mr. Blackwood asked me to bring you." My eyes widened like fried eggs. "For... for me?" Mr. Hayes's always tight, robot-like expression collapsed in this instant. "Miss Lily, aren't... aren't you mute?" Staring at each other. I seemed, to have not told him the truth. Look at this mess. Burned the elite's CPU. After listening to the explanation, Mr. Hayes pushed his glasses. Brain started running again. "Sorry, I was inexperienced." I pursed my lips, changing the topic extremely embarrassed. "Heard Mr. Blackwood is going to pick up someone important at the airport this afternoon?" Mr. Hayes nodded. "Yes, Miss Lily, are you going too?" Substitute picking up the white moonlight. Are you straight men crazy! I laughed awkwardly: "That's not appropriate, is it?" Mr. Hayes thought of something. Corrected: "It is a bit sudden, better be mentally prepared before meeting." What's going on... Can't this white moonlight just not be met? I immediately skirted around this topic. "Julian is so busy, did you help him prepare flowers, gifts or something for the pickup, a welcome dinner tonight?" "Miss Lily don't worry about this, Mr. Blackwood arranged it last month." Arranged last month... Haha! So much importance! I looked down at the black card in my hand. Couldn't describe the mood. A bit sour, a bit bitter. After all, together for three years. Impossible to have absolutely no emotional fluctuation. To prevent myself from having messy thoughts. After saying goodbye to Mr. Hayes, I nestled back in bed to play games. Played games until early morning. Played until eyes were sore, head dizzy. Threw the phone. Passed out directly. Half awake half asleep, heard the door open. Eyes drooping. Hazily saw in the dim light, the man's bare back. Back muscles thick and developed like a mountain. Lean narrow waist, back groove going down cleanly. Ah, dreaming of Julian too? I spat on myself hatefully. Turned over, continued sleeping. Haven't slept deeply yet. Cool lips landed on my forehead. Moved to eyelids, nose tip, finally landed on red swollen lips. "Mm..." I was kissed a bit dazedly. Woke up with a start when Julian scooped my legs. Bounced up from the bed instantly. Turns out wasn't dreaming just now! "You... why are you back!" Julian just came out of the bathroom, only wearing a white towel. Dim wall light shining on white skin. Eight pack abs openly seducing me. Whether front or back. I could only think of one word to describe this man. —Killshot! Licked lips, suddenly thirsty. "Can't come back?" Julian checked the time, explained: "Worked a bit late, luckily things are handled, don't need to rush to the company tomorrow." I was a bit confused, "Overtime? Didn't you push everything to pick up the plane?" "Hayes told you?" Julian spread his hands helplessly. "She changed flights without telling me." "I waited at the airport for three hours, only to know she didn't board." "Probably still angry, purposely torturing me!" I clicked my tongue listening. This white moonlight sounds a bit hard to coax? But thinking about it makes sense. If easy to coax, would have been together long ago. What business would I, the substitute, have. Julian finished, waved at me. "Still swollen? Come here let me see." If before, although shy I'd bury my head. Would still obediently go over. But now... "Did you see the message I sent you on WeChat?" Julian nodded, "That card has no limit, swipe as you please." "Not enough to give what she likes?" Damn, seduced again. I moved my eyes away with difficulty. "Men who don't love themselves are like rotten cabbage." "...?" Julian obviously didn't understand what I was saying. Patted the spot next to him. Signaling me to sit and talk. I looked warily. Confirmed the man's eyes were very normal. Even a bit of sage mode flavor. Only then did I dawdle over to sit, teaching earnestly. "The past is the past, now is now." "No matter what gap, what misunderstanding exists." "If two people want to be together well, first is to cut off relationships that shouldn't exist." "Then give her a rightful identity to stand by your side, give her ample security." Julian was thoughtful. "Then your suggestion is?" To prevent Julian and the white moonlight from dragging things out. Misunderstanding for hundreds of chapters. I decided to fast forward to the finale directly. "Propose!" "Since you love each other, my suggestion is to get married directly!"
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