1 A sudden fever at age five left me with cerebral palsy. My parents, terrified I'd have no one after they were gone, had another child at forty‑five: my sister, Lena. She was bright and innocent. At five, she pointed at my spasming arm and asked our mother, “If Willow never gets better, do I have to take care of her forever?” The question hung cruelly in the air. Mom had no answer—she just held us and cried. Lena was obedient; she never asked again. Then, when she turned eighteen, I found out she was dating someone. With slurred, halting words, I scolded her: only studying hard could give her a future. She stared at me—and shattered. “What’s the point of studying? I’ll still be stuck taking care of you, a cripple, my whole life!” “It’s all your fault! Why don’t you just die? Why did Mom and Dad bring me here just to suffer?” But no one could answer her. Mom and Dad were gone. And soon, I would be too. … The door slammed shut with a deafening bang. I sat in my wheelchair, my spasming limbs so uncooperative I couldn't even strike myself in frustration. I turned to look at the two black-and-white portraits on the wall, and tears streamed down my face. "I want to ask, too," I whispered. "Why did you leave a useless burden like me to ruin my sister's life?" My existence had dragged everyone down. My parents looked a decade older than their peers. Even knowing there was no chance of a cure, they traveled everywhere, seeking any doctor, any treatment. They died for me, killed in a car crash on their way to yet another one of those appointments. Ever since Lena was old enough to understand, my parents forced her to learn the body's pressure points. For ten years, day in and day out, she massaged my limbs. Her fingers, which should have been soft and slender, were misshapen from the work. I wiped my tears and pushed my wheelchair toward her room with painstaking effort. "Lena, it's my fault." "I just... I just think you're still young. I'm afraid you'll get hurt." I forced the words out, one by one, trying to make them as clear as I could. "I'm your sister. I would never hurt you." Silence from within the room. She was always a child quick to laugh and cry, always so polite. When she was eight, I accidentally broke her favorite mug. She cried herself to sleep, murmuring "I hate my sister" in her dreams. But the next morning, when I called her name, she still answered, her lip trembling. I was used to apologizing first, and she was used to forgiving. It was our unspoken ritual for making peace. But today, she didn't answer. The door was locked from the inside, and I had no way of forcing it open. Panic seized me. Sobbing, I called our neighbor for help. He knew about our family's situation. He came rushing in with an axe and broke down the door. The room was empty. The window was open, a rope of knotted curtains and bedsheets dangling outside. Lena was gone. She had left me only a letter. 【Every moment in this house, I feel like I'm suffocating.】 【Willow, because you have cerebral palsy, for fifteen years, I've had to give way to you in everything.】 【Mom and Dad died because of you. They left you most of their assets, and all they left me was an order to take care of you.】 【But I have my own life to live! I will not sacrifice myself for a cripple!】 【I'm leaving. Don't look for me. Good luck.】 My vision blurred. Every word on the page felt like a razor blade, slicing my heart to ribbons. Our neighbor, Mark, was still standing behind me. He saw the letter and sighed heavily. "Willow, Lena's young. Don't be too hard on her." "Let me try talking to her." He called my sister's phone. She picked up almost immediately, her tone resolute. "Mark, I know why you're calling." "Please tell Willow for me that the money Mom and Dad left is enough for me to finish school. I don't want to see her ever again!" Before Mark could say another word, she hung up. He looked at me, helpless, wanting to offer some comfort. I shook my head and managed a smile. "I'm okay. But... could I be alone for a little while?" Silence returned to the house. It had been this quiet ever since Mom and Dad died. I thought I was used to it. But today, for the first time, I felt a bone-deep cold. It took me a moment to compose myself before I wheeled myself into Lena's bedroom. With all the strength I could muster, I steadied my hands, pulled the knotted sheets back inside, and smoothed them over the bed. The curtains, however, were beyond my ability to fix. My life was filled with moments like this, moments of complete and utter helplessness. Suddenly, I felt disgusted with myself. A person who couldn't even button her own shirt—why should she be alive? Before, I lived because my parents didn't want me to die. But now, they were gone. Why was I still alive? I should die. I should give Lena her freedom. With that thought, a strange lightness filled me. I saw the pen and paper Lena had used. I picked them up. My left hand held my right steady as I gripped the pen and scrawled a single, crooked line of words. I laid out the bank cards, the property deeds, and the insurance policies in a neat stack. Finally, I put on my coat and wheeled myself out of the house. Snow fell gently, blanketing me in white. As my body grew colder and colder, I remembered. Tonight was New Year's Eve, a time for families to be together. Lena, I'm going to find Mom and Dad now. My dearest sister, I hope you find your freedom. 2 They say there are no souls after death. But somehow, I floated free from the body that had been my prison for nearly twenty years. Suspended in the air, I looked down at myself, half-buried in the snow. My face was a ghostly white, my limbs twisted at unnatural angles. It was ugly. Pitiful. I hated the sight of myself. How could I expect my sister not to? I tried to turn away, but my consciousness was yanked back. The next thing I knew, I saw Lena. She was standing in the snow with a boy, her eyes as red as a rabbit's. The boy frowned, barely suppressing his impatience. "Lena, can we please not talk about your sister when we're on a date?" "You're always crying over her. It breaks my heart to see you like this." He said his heart was breaking, but he didn't lift a hand to wipe away her tears. Anger flared in me. I strode towards them. "Lena, I'm not your burden anymore! Go home now!" "Stop seeing him!" But my words were destined to go unheard. Lena wiped her own tears and forced a weak smile. "You're right. Since I've decided to leave, I shouldn't think about... her... anymore." She was so resolute. Right there, she blocked all my contact information. I trembled with rage, pointing a finger at the boy's nose and screaming every curse I could think of. It was the first time since I was five that I'd spoken so fluently, so viciously. But we were separated by death. My words were lighter than falling leaves. Someone, please, just take this foolish little girl home. Perhaps my anger was so strong it summoned her. My aunt appeared, her face a storm cloud. She forcefully broke the hand-hold between Lena and the boy. With her hands on her hips, she scolded, "Lena, how old are you?" "How long has it been since your parents died?" "Come on. We're going home. I'm going to teach you a lesson you won't forget!" My aunt hadn't liked me much since my diagnosis. But now, she was the only one who could get through to Lena. Seeing my sister's stubborn expression, she sighed. "Come to my house." Lena's stiff posture softened. She waved goodbye to the boy and turned away, completely missing the look of extreme irritation and darkness that flashed in his eyes. I saw it, and my heart lurched. But before I could get a better look, I was pulled along, following my sister. My aunt held Lena's hand in a death grip. Lena walked in silence. It wasn't until they reached a quiet corner that my aunt finally spoke. "What about Willow?" Lena's eyes instantly turned red again, her emotions erupting. "What about her? How should I know?" "She was a burden on Mom and Dad for years, and then they died because of her!" "Aunt Carol, I hate her! I hate her so much!" The air grew tense. My aunt gritted her teeth, every word trembling with suppressed emotion. "I hate her, too." "She dragged down my only sister, turned her into a shell of a person." "But she's my sister's child, and I..." The mention of family made her voice break. I looked down at my own translucent body, which was shaking uncontrollably. I wanted so badly to rush over and tell them. Don't worry about me. Just live your own lives. But in the next second, Lena collapsed into our aunt's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. She was in so much pain, so conflicted. The weight on her slender shoulders was enough to crush her. "I won't abandon her." "But every time I think about how my entire life will be just like my parents', I feel like I'd rather die." Rather die. Those two words pierced me through. I moved to her side and gently wrapped my arms around her shoulders. I leaned my forehead against hers, just like when we were little. "Lena, I never told you." "I never wanted you to be a soft-hearted person." The way you fought to escape when you realized I was a burden... That's exactly how I always hoped you would be. So, look forward. And never, ever look back. 3 My aunt took Lena back to her house. Her husband and my cousin saw her and only sighed softly. No one mentioned sending her back home. Lena sat at the dinner table and had a relatively warm and complete New Year's Eve meal. My aunt prepared a cozy bed with a fluffy comforter for her, telling her to get a good night's sleep. But in the middle of the night, Lena threw off the covers and started for the door. My cousin was on the sofa, playing a video game. Seeing her hurry, he asked, "Where are you going so late?" Lena froze, her hand on her shoes. After a moment, she gritted her teeth. "Willow needs her massage every day. I have to go back." My heart clenched, a sour ache filling my chest. Don't do this. Lena, the person who escapes shouldn't return to their cage. But she went anyway, without a second thought. It was New Year's Eve. There were hardly any taxis. She stood in the wind and snow, stomping her feet to stay warm. Then, a pair of blinding headlights cut through the darkness and pinned her in their glare. A man got out of the car and forcefully pulled her inside. "Nathan!" Lena's face lit up with surprise. "What are you doing here?" His gaze was dark and unreadable, fixed on her. "I figured you'd be worried about your sister," he said. "So I came to pick you up." Lena smiled and took his hand. I watched, and my silent heart began to pound, sounding an alarm. This was wrong. This was all wrong. His timing was too perfect, and this wasn't the way home. "Lena! Lena!" "Get out of the car! Run! Get out! Get out!" My voice was lost in the winter wind. But somehow, it seemed to reach her, pulling her back from the sweet trap she'd fallen into. She glanced out the window at the increasingly dark road and shivered. "Nathan, where are you taking me?" The man named Nathan dropped her hand. The fake smile on his face twisted into something else. He casually crossed his legs and lit a cigarette. "Where else? We're running away together." The color drained from Lena's face. "What do you mean? I want to go home!" "Nathan, take me home now! My sister is waiting for me!" Her voice grew more and more shrill, trembling with fear. The sound grated on Nathan's nerves. He frowned and backhanded her across the face. The sharp crack echoed in the confined space of the car. Lena was stunned into silence. Nathan grinned. "What are you yelling about?" "Lena, your parents are dead, and all you have left is a cripple for a sister." "You said you didn't want to live like that. I'm taking you away, helping you start a new life. Isn't that a good thing?" "Don't worry, the family I found for you is very rich. You'll be well taken care of." Tears welled in Lena's eyes as she desperately clutched his sleeve. "No, you can't." "How much money do you want? I have money, I can give it to you!" "My sister can't live without me!" Even now, she was thinking of me. I clenched my fists, screaming in silent rage. I clawed at Nathan's face, beat against the windows, tried anything to make a sound. But I was dead. I couldn't touch anything. I couldn't even protect the only family I had left. "What do I do? What do I do?" Tears of despair streamed down my face, unnoticed. I was in such a panic that I didn't even realize Lena had suddenly gone quiet. Nathan patted her cheek, satisfied. "That's better. Just be a good girl." "As long as you're obedient, I'll find a good home for that cripple sister of yours, too." He chattered on, cruelly asking about my physical condition. When he confirmed my kidneys were healthy, he grew excited. "It's a lot more profitable to sell the parts separately than the whole." In the next instant, Lena's hand shot up. She brought the small stone—my gift—crashing down against his temple with all her strength. Blood streamed from the wound. He slumped over, unconscious, and the car began to swerve wildly. A second later, it slammed into the guardrail with a deafening crash. The scene of my parents' accident flashed before my eyes. I flew to my sister's side, frantic. "Lena! Lena, open your eyes! Don't scare me!" She was bleeding so much. The light was fading from her eyes. In her hand, she still clutched the blood-soaked stone. I cried her name, begging her not to close her eyes. Her eyes suddenly widened, and she smiled. "Willow... the stone you gave me... it really saved my life." I froze. But before I could say anything, her eyes fluttered shut. 4 An immense panic washed over me. She can see me... Does that mean she's dying? I have to save her. How do I save her? Helpless. Again. Why am I always so useless? Why does every person I love have to suffer because of me? In my moment of deepest despair, the sirens came. My aunt and cousin arrived, crying as they held Lena and rushed her to the hospital. The police were right behind them, starting their investigation. I watched as the doctors bandaged Lena's wounds, and my ghostly form felt weak with relief. Thank god. Thank god she was okay. She woke up quickly. Her eyes scanned the room and settled on our aunt. "Where's Willow?" "Aunt Carol, I think I saw her when I passed out." My aunt wiped a tear and ruffled Lena's hair. "How could you have seen her?" "She can't even leave the house by herself." "I just called her and she didn't pick up! That girl..." Lena frowned, took out her phone, and unblocked me. No missed calls. No messages. She tried calling my number. It rang and rang, but no one answered. That old stubbornness flared up in her again. "Willow, how dare you not answer my calls?" "If you don't pick up, I'm really going to abandon you!" Watching her dial my number over and over, a bitter taste filled my mouth. It wasn't that I didn't want to answer. I just couldn't. Lena was furious now. She hurled her phone against the wall. The screen shattered into a spiderweb of cracks. The photo of the two of us, our smiling faces set as her wallpaper, lit up for a brief second. Then it went dark. I knelt beside the broken phone and stared at it for a long time. We had taken that photo three years ago. It was her fifteenth birthday. She had grinned and asked for a present. I had prepared one long ago. A week earlier, I had begged my parents to take me to a temple on a mountain. I had knelt in my twisted, awkward posture for an entire day, just to have a special stone blessed. I gave it to her, my voice slurred, but my tone solemn. "It's blessed. For protection." "If anyone bullies you, you use this... and hit them." She had laughed so hard she cried and insisted we take that picture to use as her phone's background. Now the screen was shattered, and the blessed stone had fulfilled its purpose. It felt as if the final thread that bound us in this life had been severed. Lena's expression grew darker. She took our aunt's phone, her voice tight. "Willow, I'm calling you one last time." "If you don't answer, we are done." The call had just connected when a group of police officers walked into the room. Lena fumbled, hastily hanging up. For some reason, she looked almost relieved. She looked at the officers. "Are you here to take my statement?" "Nathan, he..." The lead officer shook his head, his face grim. He held out a photograph for Lena to see. "We found a body this morning, frozen to death." "A witness identified her as your sister."
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