I studied my ass off to get into the AP Physics class just to be close to Caleb Vance. But his eyes were only for the pretty girl sitting next to him. In six months, the only sentence he ever said to me was: "Can you lend Lily a tampon?" So, I tore up the diary filled with my secret crush and stopped following him around like a puppy. Years later, at a high school reunion, I talked about my first love. I said he was a fierce, rugged bad boy. Before I could finish, Caleb stood there, holding the taped-together pieces of my torn diary, trembling as he questioned me: "Sarah, you're lying. Your first love was obviously me! I'm still waiting for you to say it." 1 In AP Calculus, the teacher called me and the school beauty, Lily Harper, to the board to solve a problem. It was an arithmetic progression. Lily solved it in three steps. I, on the other hand, filled half the board with over ten lines of clumsy calculations. Someone snickered. Then, a chorus of laughter erupted behind me. Lily smelled like sweet milk and vanilla. When the scent hit my nose, I started sneezing uncontrollably. The class roared with laughter. Just then, a cool scent of peppermint drifted from above my head, strangely calming. Caleb Vance, the class genius, was called up to verify the answers. He took the chalk from my hand when I was most embarrassed and patted my shoulder in comfort. But the next second. He wiped away a huge chunk of my answer without even looking at it. He broke Lily's three steps into four, arriving at the same result: 51/50. "My calculation is the same as Lily's, but hers is more concise." The teacher nodded approvingly, erased more of my work, and started writing the solution based on Lily's method. I was forced off the platform, not knowing whether to stay or go back to my seat. I had also calculated 51/50. But in the eyes of these geniuses, my method was the dumbest, clunkiest way. Just like my student ID number was 51. I was the extra, the fool looked down upon by the elite 50 students of the class. "Did you hear that? Caleb called her 'Lily.' What's going on with those two?" The class started to gossip. "Stop it, Caleb and I are just bros," Lily laughed. "Alright, alright, focus on the board," the teacher said, not minding the banter. But the adoration in Caleb's eyes didn't look fake. They were a match. One was a top scholar, the other a genius beauty. Peppermint and milk, a match made in heaven. They could discuss complex math problems and watch foreign films without subtitles. I couldn't keep up with their brilliant minds. All I could do was clumsy little things to please Caleb. I had a crush on him for three years. I studied day and night just to squeeze into the AP class to be closer to him. But six months had passed. His eyes only held Lily. He never once turned around to say a word to me, the girl sitting right behind him. What did proximity matter? I could never walk into his world. Feeling depressed, I skipped gym class to rest in the classroom. As I was dozing off on my desk, someone knocked on it. I looked up. Caleb's arrogant, noble face was right in front of me. This was the first time he had ever initiated a conversation with me. 2 "Can you lend Lily a tampon?" For a moment, I thought I misheard. But it made sense. Why would Caleb talk to me otherwise? There just happened to be a person in the classroom. And that person happened to be female. I took one out and handed it to him, then buried my head back in my arms. Half an hour later, Caleb returned, his face dark. He questioned me coldly: "What kind of junk did you give her? Lily used it and felt chills immediately. She fainted and is now on an IV in the nurse's office!" I froze. Before I could speak, Caleb's accusations rained down on me: "Don't you buy quality products for something so important? I can't believe what kind of girl you are. You almost hurt Lily!" I was speechless. How do I even begin to explain basic physiology to a teenage boy? Anger and grievance fought in my chest. In the end, I said nothing. He had already decided it was my fault. No matter what I said, he would just pin more ridiculous crimes on me. Why waste my breath? 3 Lily was on the IV until the afternoon. Maybe he was still angry, but Caleb was colder than ever. When passing back graded papers, he threw mine onto my desk in a messy pile. But this time, I didn't catch them with both hands like a servant. I let them slide off the desk and scatter all over the floor. He frowned and looked back at me. I stared at him, expressionless. "Pick them up." "What?" "I said, you threw them. You pick them up." My aggression stunned Caleb. He paused, then crouched down at my feet, gathered the papers, and placed them neatly back on my desk. For the rest of the afternoon, I didn't say a word to him. Dinner break came, and naturally, there was no communication. We had a long break after dinner. Usually, I would take out the trash. The classroom didn't have a bin; we had to go to the recycling station on each floor. I used to use "it's on the way" as an excuse to take Caleb's trash. Later, everyone around me started giving me their trash. This time, I didn't want to help anyone. "Thanks, Sarah! I love hardworking girls," Lily smiled, trying to hang a huge bag of trash on my hand. To her surprise, I coldly refused. "I'm not your maid." Lily froze, her eyes reddening with tears instantly. People whispered behind my back: "What's wrong with her today?" "She's jealous." "Senior year time is precious. She's going anyway, why not take it? We have papers to write!" Finally, Caleb stood up and chased me out of the classroom. He called my name behind me, but I pretended not to hear and didn't look back. When I returned to the classroom after walking a lap around the track, a pack of pink premium pads was on my desk. Caleb looked at me with his dark eyes and whispered: "I apologize for this morning. I'm sorry." So, he understood? He bought this specifically to apologize? My heart softened for exactly one second before his next ridiculous sentence shattered it: "Lily cherishes you as a friend. Don't let my mistake affect her. When she comes back, apologize to her too. You shouldn't have been mean to her." That's when I noticed the large bag under Caleb's desk. He had jumped the school fence to buy every brand and type for Lily to choose from. To stop me from "bullying" Lily, he casually tossed me one pack from the pile to shut me up. Dismissing me, the unimportant classmate. 4 I started actively avoiding Caleb. I ignored him, stopped creating "accidental" meetings, and stopped revolving around him. Caleb seemed to notice. One evening on the way home, he waited for me outside the convenience store. Seeing I bought a rice ball, he helped me open the wrapper, folded it neatly, and put it in my hand. "Sarah, let's talk. I feel like you're mad. Why?" "Did you only buy one rice ball? For me? Aren't you eating?" I was silent for a few seconds, then tossed the rice ball into a stray dog's bowl. "Sorry, I bought it for the dog. If you want it, negotiate with him." Caleb stood there, stunned. I bumped past his shoulder and left without looking back. To avoid Caleb, I took a secluded route home. Turning into an alley, a familiar scent of milk and vanilla wafted through the air. I ran into Lily smoking a vape with some delinquent girls. It turned out the "milk scent" on Lily was a vape flavor. Through the pale smoke, Lily waved at me, her eyes full of mockery. "Sarah, going home? Say hi to my sisters." "This is the loser from our class who's been crushing on my desk mate forever. Shameless bitch!" I frowned and tried to move away, but one of the girls chased me, pinching my face with sharp nails. "So you're the one stalking my sister's man?" Before she finished, the Dean's voice boomed from behind. He had caught them vaping. The girls scattered. Seeing no escape, Lily panicked and shoved the vape into my backpack. I didn't have time to throw it out before we were ordered to stand still. "Hello, Mr. Dean." Lily greeted him calmly, her face the picture of innocence. We weren't allowed to speak. We had to empty our pockets and bags. The contraband was found on me. I tried to explain: "Sir, smoke has a smell. You can smell who it's on, right?" The milk scent was clearly on Lily. But the next second, Caleb's voice came from behind: "Sir, I'm Lily's desk mate. That smell is Lily's natural body scent, not smoke." "Besides, we're in the AP class. Lily is ranked 7th in the grade. Would she do something like this?"
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