My mom is a famous "clean stream" movie queen in the circle, and also the toughest Top Talent Agent. The word she loves to hang on her lips most in her life is "Avoiding Nepotism". When I was six, I won first place in the National Speech Tournament. She pried the gold trophy out of my hand and handed it to Scarlett, the neighbor girl who just lost her father. She said: "Jade, you have a mother, and talent, plenty of chances to win awards in the future. Scarlett is too pitiful, giving her this trophy can give her confidence." I cried and refused. She turned cold for the first time, in front of all the neighbors, saying I was insensible, saying I had no big love. At eighteen, I was admitted to the top Film School, first in professional courses. Media came to interview, asking her parenting philosophy. She smiled gently at the camera: "This child is just lucky. Actually, I am more optimistic about my newly signed artist, Scarlett. Although she didn't go to film school, that aura is God's gift." Later, Scarlett entered her agency and became the crowd-pleasing "America's Sweetheart". And I, became her invisible assistant, became Scarlett's exclusive Stunt Double. Whenever I made a request, she had that sentence: "Jade, you are my daughter, this industry taboos nepotism most. You have to avoid suspicion, don't let people say you rely on your mom to rise." I avoided for twenty-three years. Until that mudslide scene, I was buried in mud and suffocated for a full three minutes. When dug out, I heard my mom in the tent, distressedly blowing on Scarlett's hangnail. At that moment I laughed, this suspicion was avoided well. Avoided until the end, mom became someone else's mom, life almost lost. Fine, since want to avoid suspicion, then avoid thoroughly. This daughter, I quit being. Chapter 1 Scarlett was crying again. In the dressing room, she cried like pear blossoms bathed in rain, mascara smeared all over her face, like a frightened quail. My mom Victoria, was holding a makeup remover pad, wiping her tears bit by bit, movements gentle as if wiping some rare treasure. "Auntie Vic, I really can't... Director Chen's requirements are too high, I can't memorize the lines, I'm afraid of embarrassing you." Scarlett sobbed, but her eyes drifted towards me. I sat on a small folding stool in the corner, holding a crumpled script. The edge of the script was pinched wet by me. That was Director Chen's new movie "The Wind", female lead. Three days ago, Director Chen named me to audition. I knelt in the rainstorm for three hours, acting alive that mute girl reborn in despair. Director Chen slapped his thigh on the spot: "It's you! Jade, this role belongs to you!" The contract was mailed to the agency. Result now, this contract lay on Scarlett's makeup table. "Scarlett, don't be afraid." Victoria sighed, hugged Scarlett into her arms, "Diligence can make up for clumsiness. I've already greeted Director Chen, this role is yours. You need a serious drama to transform, the recent nightclub scandal is too fierce, only this play can save you." I stood up abruptly. The chair made a harsh scratching sound on the floor. "Mom, that role is mine." I stared into Victoria's eyes, voice trembling, "Director Chen decided on me. Also you said, as long as I get the role by ability, you won't interfere." Victoria turned her head to look at me. Eyes changed instantly. The warmth towards Scarlett just now vanished, replaced by a business-like indifference, and a trace of impatience. "Jade, this industry isn't as simple as you think." She walked over, snatched the script from my hand, threw it to Scarlett. "Director Chen was just polite to you for my face, you really took it seriously?" "Besides, you are my daughter. If you played the female lead, how would the media write? Say I, Victoria, practice nepotism? Say I pave the way for my own daughter?" Here it comes again, this set of words again. "I auditioned by strength, have the whole recording, afraid of what media?" I gritted my teeth, nails digging into flesh, "And Scarlett can't even read lines smoothly, she acts a mute? Act a wooden stake?" "Shut up!" Victoria shouted low, brows locked tight, "How do you speak? Scarlett is your god-sister! Her family conditions are bad, do you know how hard she walked this way? Why do you have no sympathy at all?" I laughed in anger. "She hard? She entered the company for five years, fed with top resources, eight assistants when going out, tens of millions in pay. Me? I ran extras for five years, played corpses, played maids, was her stunt double!" "Mom, who exactly is your daughter?" Slap! A slap, heavily whipped on my face. Dressing room instantly dead silent. Scarlett scared stopped sobbing, stared wide eyes at me, but a trace of successful pleasure flashed in her eyes. Cheek burning pain. But I couldn't feel the pain. Only felt cold, cold air coming out from bone marrow. Victoria's hand froze in mid-air, seemed stunned for a moment too, but soon returned to that high-above posture. "This slap is to teach you rules." She said coldly, "In this circle, I am the boss, you are the artist. Obeying arrangements is your duty." "To avoid suspicion, this role must be given to Scarlett." "As for you..." She paused, tone like giving charity, "Scarlett is physically weak, can't stand high-intensity scenes. You go be her on-set stand-in, responsible for helping her walk positions, test lights, and those action scenes, you go for her." I covered my face, looking at this woman who gave birth to me and raised me. This is my mother. For the so-called "reputation", for the so-called "big love", could unhesitatingly step her biological daughter into the mud, be a stepping stone for her "god-daughter". "What if I don't go?" I asked. Victoria reorganized her collar, didn't even look at me: "Not go? Fine." "Then I'll stop all your cards, blacklist you. You know I have this ability, no company in the whole industry dares to sign you." She turned around, continued to comfort Scarlett gently: "Alright Scarlett, stop crying, makeup is ruined. There's a celebration banquet tonight, specially held for you, celebrating you winning the female lead." I stood in place, like a joke. Celebration banquet? Celebrating her snatching my role? Scarlett looked at me through the mirror, corners of mouth slightly raised, mouthed to me: "Thanks, sister." At that moment, I heard something shatter in my heart. Not glass heart. It was the last fig leaf named "family affection". Fine, you want me to be a double, want me to avoid suspicion. I fulfill you. Chapter 2 "The Wind" crew started filming. Shooting location in a remote mountainous area, conditions tough. Scarlett was indeed "dedicated". Posting ten moments on Instagram every day, that was really busy. Busy taking selfies, busy drinking bird's nest, busy frying CP with male lead. Once serious shooting started, she began various "discomforts". Sun too big would faint, rain would catch cold, ground too hard kneeling knees hurt. "Cut! Scarlett, eyes wrong! Want despair! Despair understand? Not rolling eyes!" Director Chen had a hot temper, shouted with a megaphone. Scarlett aggrieved shedding tears, turned head looking at Victoria behind the monitor. Victoria immediately rushed up with water bottle, distressedly wiping sweat for her: "Director Chen, Scarlett memorized script until 3 AM last night, too tired. Can let her rest a bit?" Director Chen angry throwing script: "Rest? Hundreds of people in the crew waiting for her one? Still shooting this play or not?" Victoria smiling apologetically: "How about this, let Jade go first. Let her test camera positions and movements well, bring emotions once too, let Scarlett watch and learn aside, find the feeling." Director Chen looked at me hiding in the shadow, sighed: "Fine, Jade go." I wore a tattered costume, barefoot, walked into the mud pit. This was a major scene. Heroine bullied by village tyrant, pushed into pigsty mud, that despair of calling heaven not answering. I said nothing, threw myself directly into the smelly mud water. Cold mud poured into nasal cavity, stones cut knees. I looked up, eyes empty and shrill looking at the camera. No need to act. That feeling of being abandoned by the whole world, I am very familiar with now. Surrounding staff quieted down. Director Chen stared at the monitor, hands shaking, muttering: "This is the heroine... this is the fucking acting..." "Good! Pass!" Director Chen shouted voice cracked. I climbed up from the mud, whole body trembling. I wanted to find a towel to wipe my face. Looked up, but saw Victoria holding Scarlett's hand, pointing at me saying: "See that Scarlett? That look just now, you act according to that later. Although Jade is just a double, some clumsy methods are still worth learning." Clumsy methods? Things I acted with my life, in her mouth became "clumsy methods". Scarlett covered nose in disgust, stepped back, seemingly afraid mud spots on me splash onto her brand name haute couture. "Got it Auntie Vic, I will try hard. But sister is so dirty, will there be bacteria?" Victoria immediately protected her: "Stay away, don't get smoked. You go fix makeup, just shoot a close-up later." No one cared if I was cold. No one cared my knees were still bleeding. Even a dry towel no one handed to me. Because Victoria for "avoiding suspicion", specially didn't assign me an assistant. She said: "You are just an ordinary staff in the crew, don't be special." I walked to the tap myself, used biting cold water to wash off mud on body. Water very cold, cold to bone. But the fire in my heart, burned more and more vigorously. Finished work at night, I was gnawing cold box lunch in the corner. Victoria suddenly found over, face not good. "Jade, there's a cliff jumping scene tomorrow." She came straight to the point, "Although there's Wire Work, but height a bit high, Scarlett afraid of heights, you also know her heart not good." I swallowed a mouthful of cold hard rice, didn't look up: "So?" "So tomorrow you go." Victoria said as a matter of course, "You are her sister, physical quality good, sharing for sister what's wrong? And this scene doesn't show face, just shoot back and falling process." I put down chopsticks, looked at her: "Mom, if that scene doesn't show face, can totally use dummy or post-production. Why must jump for real?" "Pursue realism!" Victoria frowned, a look of hating iron not becoming steel, "We making movies need craftsman spirit! How can be lazy use dummy? Besides, this is key shot for Scarlett winning awards, must be perfect." Paving way for Scarlett, need my life to fill? That's a cliff over ten meters high, below is rapid river. Slight mistake, if not dead then disabled. "I won't go." I said. Victoria's face sank instantly: "Jade, don't be shameless. You eat mine live mine now, company also raised by me. This little favor not help? Do you not want to see Scarlett good?" "I said, I won't go." I stood up to leave. Behind came Victoria's cold voice: "Fine, you can not go. Then your grandpa's medical fees, figure out yourself next month." My steps stopped abruptly. Grandpa. That only old man who loved me, but paralyzed in bed. His life, held in Victoria's hand. I turned around, staring dead at this woman called "mother". No guilt in her eyes, only pride of holding my weakness. "Okay." I heard my hoarse voice, "I jump." Chapter 3 Next day's shooting scene, atmosphere very depressing. Wind very big by the cliff. I wore Scarlett's flowing white ancient costume, waist strangled by thin wire. Scarlett wore down jacket, sitting under umbrella far away drinking hot milk tea, two assistants massaging her legs. "Ready—" Assistant director shouted with walkie-talkie. I took a deep breath, looked at cliff bottom. Water flow urgent, rocks rugged. "3, 2, 1, Jump!" I leaped, weightlessness wrapped whole body instantly. Wind whistling in ears, wire strangled ribs severe pain. Just when I was about to reach predetermined position, ready to be pulled up. Snap! A tooth-aching muffled sound. One wire broke! Body lost balance violently, like a rag doll smashed hard against protruding rock on cliff wall. Bang! Severe pain exploded from left shoulder and back. Vision black, almost fainted. Although backup wire held me, didn't let me fall into river drown, but that collision just now, definitely hurt bones. I was hung in mid-air, cold sweat from pain, blood dripping down cuff. "Quick! Pull up quick! Accident!" Director Chen's terrified roar spread through valley via megaphone. Staff scrambled to pull me up. I paralyzed on ground, gasping heavily, half body numb. "Okay? Call ambulance quick!" Director Chen anxious face white. Just then, a scream pierced crowd. "Ah! Scared me to death!" It was Scarlett. She stood more than ten meters away, covering chest, a crumbling look. "That noise just now so scary... my heart so uncomfortable... woo woo woo..." Next second, I saw Victoria rushing through crowd surrounding me like crazy. She didn't even look at me on ground, ran straight to Scarlett. "Scarlett! Scarlett what's wrong? Medicine? Bring medicine quick!" Victoria hugged Scarlett, face full of anxiety, "Don't fear don't fear, Auntie Vic here. Scared right? It's okay, it's okay..." "Auntie Vic, I so scared... if just now was me jumping..." Scarlett threw into Victoria's arms crying. "Won't, won't let you jump. Look, luckily didn't let you go, too dangerous." Victoria distressed shedding tears. I lay on cold ground. Left shoulder drill-hearted pain. Surrounding was noisy human voice, but my world quiet terrible. Director Chen squatted beside me, looking at that "deep mother-daughter love" not far away, angry cursed: "Fuck! Who exactly injured? Is that agent blind?" He took off his coat covered me, held my cold hand: "Child, don't fear, ambulance coming soon." I looked at Director Chen, laboriously pulled a smile: "Director, that take just now... passed?" Director Chen eyes red: "Passed. Perfect. You are a born stunt performer." Ambulance finally came. When I was lifted onto stretcher, Victoria finally remembered me. She walked over, face carrying a trace unnatural concern, but more was command: "Jade, go hospital recuperate well. Matter just now absolutely don't say randomly, don't say wire broke, say you operated wrong hit yourself. Otherwise spread out bad influence on crew, Scarlett this play not aired yet having negative news is bad." I looked at her. Looking at this woman who gave birth to me raised me. Her every sentence, like a knife, precisely stabbed into softest place in my heart. To maintain Scarlett's drama, even my work injury need cover? Even push responsibility to me? "Got it." I closed eyes, didn't want to look at her hypocritical face again. Stayed in hospital half month. Victoria never came once. Heard she busy taking care of "overly frightened" Scarlett in crew, also released press release saying Scarlett how dedicated for filming, personally battle overcome acrophobia, simply model worker. Only second uncle called me. "Jade ah, your mom said you played big shot in crew, insisted jumping yourself, result injured? Say you child, why so worrying? Look at Scarlett how sensible..." I hung up directly. Blocked. Day discharged, received a push notification. It was "The Wind" wrap party livestream. Scarlett wearing that white dress I exchanged with life in lens, standing C position, smiling like flower. Director Chen face very ugly, but under Victoria's smoothing, still barely cooperating. Reporter asked: "Scarlett, heard that cliff jumping scene very dangerous, did you do it yourself?" Scarlett shyly lowered head: "Mm... although very scared, but for art, getting hurt a bit worth it." Victoria supplemented aside: "Scarlett this child is too honest, leg hit blue also refused say." I looked at screen, laughed out. Laughing laughing, tears flowed full face. My shoulder still has three steel nails now. My wound, became her medal. Door pushed open. It was Victoria's assistant, Little Liu. She handed me a document, eyes dodging dared not look me: "Sister Jade... Boss Shen said, let you sign this." I took look. Was a [Public Relations Statement]. Content roughly: I was temporary worker of crew, because improper operation injured, irrelevant to crew, more irrelevant to Scarlett. As compensation, company will give me fifty thousand dollars nutrition fee. Besides this, a new agency contract. Terms extremely harsh, basically deed of sale. Require me next ten years, must unconditionally obey company arrangement, main work content is serve as Scarlett's exclusive double and performance coach. "Boss Shen said... for avoiding suspicion, also for your good. As long as you sign, Grandpa's medical fees she will continue pay." Little Liu whispered. I held pen, fingers gently rubbing paper surface. Fifty thousand. Buy my half life, buy out my life. Still use Grandpa threaten me. "Little Liu." I suddenly spoke. "Ah? Sister you say." "Is there an awards ceremony tonight? Scarlett going to receive Best Newcomer Award?" "Yes... heard this time internal decided, just rely on "The Wind" those few trailers won award." I nodded, picked up pen, signed on contract. Handwriting scribbled, force through paper back. "Take back to my mom. Tell her, I listen to her all." Little Liu sighed relief, took contract left. I pulled suitcase from under bed. Inside put all my savings, and a bankbook Grandpa secretly stuffed me. And a plan book I thought for long time. I took out phone, dialed a number. That was rival company's gold agent, Kate. That day in hospital, she secretly came see me, left a card. "Hello, Kate?" I looked at gloomy sky outside window, voice unprecedentedly calm. "I am Jade." "Tonight's awards ceremony, I want send Scarlett a big gift." "I think... we can talk cooperation." Phone other end came lighter crisp sound, then Kate lazy and smiling voice: "I knew, wild rose can't be locked. Tonight eight o'clock, I send car pick you." Hung up phone, I walked to mirror, scissors snip, long hair kept ten years, broken on floor. Girl in mirror, face pale, but eyes ruthless like wolf. Mom, didn't you like avoiding suspicion most? Then tonight, I let you in front of national audience, avoid enough properly.
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