Seventh year of marriage, I was diagnosed with Leukemia, urgently needing a bone marrow transplant. Luckily, my son Ethan was a match. But one week before the surgery, my husband Dr. Julian Hayes said to me full of apology, "Ethan's physical exam didn't pass." He comforted me, "Don't worry, I will definitely find a new donor as soon as possible." At the hospital's commendation ceremony, Julian's name was prominently on the list. The leadership praised his selfless dedication. "Dr. Hayes gave the bone marrow originally intended for his wife to Miss Zoe." I thought the Director misspoke, Julian always treated patients equally. Until I saw the person saved was Zoe, his ex-wife who abandoned him back then. I lost my voice questioning, "Why?" Husband's face was incomparably calm, "Sloane, you are my wife, if I directly gave the marrow to you wouldn't everyone in the hospital scold me for abusing power? You have to avoid suspicion." Then I looked at my son who donated the marrow, thinking he didn't know. Ethan said with a cold face, "It was me who agreed to donate to Auntie Zoe, Mom can you not be possessive of my things!" In that instant, my whole person froze. A heart that can't be warmed, I don't want it anymore. ... Chapter 1 These few months Julian was anxious about my illness to the point of getting mouth ulcers, worrying until several white hairs appeared. My five-year-old son Ethan called me everyday asking when I would come home. To not let father and son worry, I didn't tell them I was diagnosed with high-risk Leukemia. Now watching them taking turns emphasizing how critical Zoe's condition was, I finally realized it wasn't that the physical exam failed. Just that in their hearts, I wasn't that important. Now under the gaze of everyone, Zoe presented a Plaque to him and Ethan. She glanced at me lightly, "Julian, Ethan, thank you." Intimate photo together, looked more like a family of three. Thunderous applause sounded like a slap hard on my face. Mist rose with pain, my vision blurred. I maneuvered the wheelchair to leave, unwilling to see those people's pitying eyes. Someone chased out hurriedly behind, I recognized Julian's footsteps. Still holding illusion, thinking he was worried about my body so urgent. But he forcefully held down the wheelchair, face showing hidden impatience. "Sloane, what are you making a scene for?" "Zoe is still in recovery period and has to prop up her body to send me the plaque, can't you endure a few more minutes for me?" Fact is next month the hospital will conduct Chief of Surgery evaluation, Julian values this commendation very much. My graceful appearance, can both highlight his medical ethics, and show the beautiful atmosphere of family harmony. I looked up at him, only felt this man who used to be full of merits was very strange. Nails dug deep into palm, pain coming barely made me calm. "My body is hot and uncomfortable, want to go out for air." Husband sighed, seemingly helpless. "I am the most authoritative expert in this field, these are all normal conditions." "Don't throw a temper, we agreed to accept the interview together." Expert? I seemed to hear a huge joke. These few days my bones hurt until my whole person trembled, that was the signal of bad cells spreading. But he didn't notice a bit. If not for me asking the nurse to forcefully give me painkillers, I probably wouldn't even have the strength to get up. A few strands of hair slowly scattered in my palm, illness getting more and more serious. I clenched tightly, haven't looked in the mirror for a long time, must be ugly and embarrassed right now. Also no strength to argue with him, "No, it's time for medicine today." Touching my exhaustion, Julian's eyes flashed with intolerance, "Wait until I am evaluated as Chief next month, I can apply for the newly developed Experimental Drug." "Sloane, wait for me a bit longer." Still have to apply, means still have to continue waiting. Remembering yesterday another attending doctor Dr. Liu urged me to tell the truth to Julian quickly. She said if not doing bone marrow transplant, maybe I can't even last till the third phase of chemotherapy. A wave of sadness surged in my heart, couldn't help asking, "What if you don't get evaluated as Chief?" He stunned, eyes rarely showing some confusion. Then firmly said, "Rest assured, then I will definitely cure you too." In an instant, I understood the husband in front of me never imagined the worst consequence. Zoe gained new life, so let me go towards the ending of certain death. I chuckled, but couldn't stop tears flowing, finally recognized reality. He kept saying to avoid suspicion, even if there is experimental drug would he really use it on me? "I really hope right now I am not your wife." At least wouldn't even have the chance to survive given away. Julian tsked, expression showing dissatisfaction, "I am a doctor, saving lives is my duty!" "As my wife, can you not be so selfish? Can't even compare to a kid like Ethan!" "Moreover Zoe is just an ordinary patient, you don't need to hold on to this matter." My grievance he turned a blind eye to, what I got was only rebuttal. Watching his leaving back, I dialed Dr. Chase Meridian's number. "Doesn't your new drug lack a test subject? I can do it." He said he could come pick me up in three days. Rather than waiting for others' ethereal promises, better rely on myself. Chapter 2 Nurse seeing me delayed so long, almost crazy with anxiety. "Miss Sloane, if you didn't come back we were going to check surveillance to find you." I shook head wanted to say I was fine, her hand touched my scorching body temperature and immediately realized something was wrong. After a burst of panic in the ward, my temperature slowly dropped. Opening eyes saw Zoe looking at me with face full of apology. "Luckily Miss Sloane is fine, otherwise I would be uneasy for a lifetime." Blamingly looked at Julian behind her, "Didn't I tell you long ago? No need to accompany me every night, Miss Sloane is your wife." Painkiller effect already passed, my whole body bone seams revealed biting pain. Weak to point can't even say a sentence. Compared to her rosy face, I with disheveled hair looked like a female ghost. Julian has main job to busy, daytime coming to stare at me taking medicine is already good. At night besides duty, still have to go home take care of Ethan. So I never complained. But now what I heard was he accompanied Zoe every night. Turns out he didn't even have half a sentence of truth to me. Didn't get my response. Zoe bit lip, somewhat embarrassed, "Is Miss Sloane still blaming me for snatching your bone marrow? All my fault, caused your family of three disharmony." Son Ethan stepped forward hugging her arm, "Auntie didn't snatch, this is all my willingness to give you." He looked at me, with dissatisfied emotion, "Mom bad, Mom has no manners!" When I gave birth to him encountered difficult labor, doctor said child high probability couldn't be saved. Almost me fighting with life to give birth to him safely. When Ethan was three, said would forever be number one best with Mom. Now every sentence he said was obvious betrayal. An indescribable soreness, rolled from bottom of my heart, surged to throat, not up not down, but like fish bone in throat. I turned head trying to cover my embarrassment. Then Ethan actually forcefully pushed me, pulling the IV drip. "Mom no manners, quickly apologize to Auntie!" That instant, needle on hand gushed blood. Julian immediately stepped forward help me handle, coldly scolded him, "Ethan Hayes! Your mom is still sick!" Son haven't seen his dad so strict for a long time, instantly scared hiding behind Zoe. She hurriedly comforted, "Julian, he is still a child, understand what?" "Miss Sloane you have large heart don't blame Ethan." This words out, Ethan had more good feelings for her, tightly hugging her arm. Little nurse received emergency bell and rushed over, cold voice, "Patient emotion can't be too excited, you all please go out first!" I looked at Julian, painful to silent tears. Zoe gently coughed twice, his attention transferred. "Zoe your body hasn't recovered, hurry back rest, don't be infected by germs." Casually perfunctory to me, "I will let Ethan come in and apologize to you later." Nurse couldn't bear, low voice revealed, "Miss Sloane, originally according to qualification should be you ranked front." "But donor insisted on saving others first." "You better confess your real physical condition to Dr. Hayes ASAP, I heard his promotion to Chief is set in stone." Means he can apply for treatment experimental drug. I silent a moment, "I will explain clearly to him." Then son walked in, tears still hanging on corner of eyes. Looked like was scolded. "Ethan, why even you not willing to save Mom?" I can't understand, he is a piece of meat fell from my body. Why even closest person not willing save me. He calmly looked at me, making me crying and bleeding look more like a madwoman. "Dad said Auntie Zoe has no family, if we don't save her, no one saves her." "Later I am going to be a doctor like Dad, want to be fair and just!" "Mom, you have to understand us!" "Understand" these two words like deeply stabbed into my heart. Zoe alone but has father and son protecting, and I forever excluded by their so-called fairness and justice. I half propped up body, "So you and Dad go accompany that auntie everyday?" Five-year-old kid no defense, answer whatever asked. "Yes." A crisp answer completely shattered all my hesitation. That instant, like something completely lost from my body. Turns out Julian's white hair was born for worrying about Zoe's illness, nothing to do with me. And Ethan asking me when return home, actually was because he donated bone marrow to Zoe and hospitalized, afraid I know. Just short few months treatment in hospital, my husband and child established closer connection with others. I smiled, like relieved, "I will tell your dad, you already apologized." Ethan somewhat overwhelmed, those scolding he expected didn't appear. Next second, my throat surged a stream of fishy sweet. Coughed hands all blood, stained on snow white quilt. I subconsciously wanted to comfort child, let him not afraid. But his first reaction was running away, avoiding me like dirty thing. Chapter 3 Julian who didn't need night duty insisted on staying night to accompany me. Room silent, look at each other speechless. Husband however eyes full of guilt, actively mentioned Chief evaluation thing had result. "Sloane you rest assured, I already went to apply for experimental drug." "Sorry, all my fault." Because today a scene, dull as Julian finally discovered fact I kept coughing blood. He neglected too long, except occasionally staring at me taking medicine treatment. Naturally didn't detect my current body function dropped seriously. Several days passed in a row, no good news came from Julian. Bone pain tortured me sleepless whole night whole night, even painkillers didn't work. Hair loss became more serious. Every morning could see strands of hair scattered on pillow. Also my life bit by bit consumed out. Next day when Julian came for rounds, I actively mentioned, "That experimental drug, did you apply it?" When people pain up head not sober, will leave last trace of extravagance. Husband however avoided my expectant eyes, "Not, not yet." I clenched quilt on body, "Oh, like this ah?" But Chase told me, he already approved Julian's application. Now Julian said no, I just took it as hasn't delivered to his hand. Like changing topic, he asked me. "Why didn't you call son these few days?" Before I called son everyday, afraid nanny at home didn't take care well. Even before chemotherapy, when I was dizzy still wanted to hear child's voice to feel safe. But seen his appearance actively defending Zoe, even if heart has spare strength I don't want to maintain relationship between two. "Too tired, don't want call." "Then I pick up Ethan to see you after rounds later okay?" I looked up at him, "Is he in kindergarten?" "Mm." After he left, I looked at window dazing. Little nurse said could push me out for a walk. Near VIP ward there is a big terrace, "Miss Sloane, flowers over there bloom very beautiful." Door not closed tight, I originally didn't want spy others privacy. But voice inside really familiar, "Julian, that experimental drug used on me, then what about Miss Sloane?" Julian no longer used that set of "avoid suspicion" theory, "You are patient, used is also should be." Turns out Zoe appeared rejection reaction, experimental drug directly used on her. Last time commendation out, already not few people praised Julian character noble. Through door crack, saw son blowing needle spot for her, "I blow blow, then won't pain." Ethan usually playful, every time back from kindergarten body always has some bumps. I coaxed him disinfect apply medicine, "Blow blow, then not pain." Exactly same action, I didn't know should be gratified or bitter laugh. Looking up at these few letters of VIP, turns out Zoe who lived not good could afford high-end ward. And few months ago Julian personally said to me, as family member need avoid suspicion, can't let other patients think doctors can do special. So originally booked high-end ward by me was cancelled, even arranged to most corner position. I let little nurse go busy first, "I want stay alone a while." Not a while, father and son pushed door walked out. Head on saw me, Julian guilty wanted open mouth explain. I smiled, "I almost dying." Turns out truth said out also quite easy. He frowned, thought I was throwing temper, "Sloane, you no need curse yourself for this bit experimental drug." "I am doctor, with me here you won't have trouble." "As my wife, where is your trust?" I trusted so many times, but let myself lose completely mess. Being his wife need avoid suspicion need understand, but if not? "Then we divorce, I am just an ordinary patient." "Is it then you can give experimental drug to me?" Julian angry red eyes, "In front of child face, what nonsense you talking?" "Yesterday Zoe body appeared strong rejection reaction, me as doctor watch her go die?" "Sloane, when did you become so mean?" Just want an answer that's all, I became that mean person. He couldn't watch Zoe die, but willing to give up me. Zoe supported long IV drip stand, somewhat stumble walked out knelt in front of me. "Miss Sloane is my fault, nothing to do with Dr. Hayes." "I shouldn't rob bone marrow belong to you, I return it to you right now." She face pale, pounced on Julian's leg, "You do surgery for me again okay? Take bone marrow out again." Husband helped person up, look at me like looking an insensible child. "Originally her body recovery not good, you still aggressive come provoke her unhappy." "I only have one portion experimental drug, Sloane can you not difficult me?" He actually said is difficult. Clearly Chase gave two portions experimental drug. Unwillingness, sadness surged to mouth but swallowed down difficultly squeezed few words. "Then me? What about me?" Ethan tightly grabbed his dad's hand, "I don't want donate bone marrow again, so painful." I know, let a kid donate bone marrow, originally is a very painful thing. Actually I want a clear attitude that's all, but father and son weighed pros and cons result all is abandon me. Julian sighed, "I didn't say not care you, wait I settle Zoe well then treat your illness." Again let me wait, but I tired. No anger emotion, also can't lift courage continue fight for myself. Countless empty checks, Julian you finally exhausted my trust and love. "Whatever you want." I calmly turned wheelchair direction back to my ward. Chapter 4 Many messages sent by Chase, he advised me to consider clearly. "Sloane, I applied for new flight route, will pick you up tonight." He said being new drug test subject is like lab rat, calling stop is non-existent thing. But if there is a trace hope to live, I all want firmly grab. I replied one sentence, "I won't regret." "Contrary, I still want thank you." Suddenly overhead IV drip bottle was changed down, is Julian. Irritability in words obvious, "Who you chatting with?" "Doctor." He looked at my plain smile, heart flashed strange emotion. Surprised I actually didn't throw temper because of experimental drug thing. Just want open mouth, but heard nurse calling him. "Dr. Hayes, patient in 617 VIP ward appeared adverse reaction." Julian immediately put down medical record in hand, lift foot just want walk out. Until today I then knew this 617 is ward Zoe lived, before many times he as long as alone with me would be called away by 617. I opened mouth called stop him, "You wait." Julian thought I want delay his steps again, face ugly, "I am going to save people, can you not play small temper——" I handed out a Ethan's school enrollment consent form, "You sign this is fine." "Could it be Ethan's enrollment you also don't care?" St. Jude's, is best school in city. This is also last thing I can do for child. He stunned, inner anxiety covered past caution. Look didn't look content inside, immediately signed name. Then watched me act as if nothing happened lie back bed scroll phone, didn't even look him once. No longer ask attitude let Julian faintly uneasy. Turned instant but determined I was betting anger, past as long as he and child soft submit show weakness, I would forgive them. He thought first settle Zoe well then go back find me also not late, anyway I won't run. Footsteps gradually disappear, I then took that document on table, pulled out divorce agreement hidden inside. At night, Chase pushed me onto private jet. "Sloane, you have no turning back road." I smiled, who could think finally actually is mortal enemy fought from small to big come save me. "I also not willing turn back." ... Zoe side just made fuss about nothing that's all, just fever caused by recovery period. Julian pinched brow center, "You already not three times two times noise, I tomorrow will let Dr. Xu come take over." To her, already is benevolence extreme. Thinking just now Sloane that medical record didn't have time deep investigate abnormal data, his heart tight. Those cell indicators all not right. Zoe's sobbing stopped, "Julian, I just somewhat afraid, so want you come accompany me." "I don't want change attending doctor." Julian heart thinking that didn't finish reading medical record, didn't even have time say usual comfort. Back to Sloane's ward, machine equipment inside being moved out. "What happen?" Look around all sides, didn't see Sloane figure. Nurse astonished, "Dr. Hayes, patient already handled discharge." "You don't know?"
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