My dad hangs a Performance Improvement Plan chart on the living room wall. Last semester, my sister, Chloe, got straight A's. Dad put a gold star next to her name. I studied until my eyes bled, but still scored three points lower than her. Dad shook his head in disappointment and drew a giant red "X" next to my name. "Lily, do you know how much money you cost this family this month?" He tapped aggressively on his calculator, his face stern. "Tutors, supplements, plus the SAT prep course... total $5,000. The ROI on you is abysmal." "Next month, your allowance is docked by $200. You're covering all chores to pay off the debt." Chloe smirked, her eyes curving with delight. "Lily, per the performance rules, you have to hand-wash my underwear for a year starting today." I clenched my fists and nodded timidly. That night, hiding in the bathroom, I searched "how to improve grades fast." A pop-up link for a forum called "Equivalent Exchange" appeared: "Are you willing to trade?" "Give what you have for what you want." "Click here to start the transaction." I stared at the forum, my fingertips cold. Give what you have for what you want. But... what did I have? I only had grades that never improved. Debts I couldn't pay off. Endless chores. And the cold red "X" on the performance chart. Maybe these things couldn't trade for what I wanted. Just as I hesitated, ready to close the tab, I heard Mom and Dad talking outside. "What happened with Lily this time? Why did she fail again? Is the pressure too much?" Mom's voice carried her usual exhaustion. She sighed. "Her total score is three points lower than Chloe's. Her ranking dropped." "At this rate, getting into a top-tier college is a pipe dream." Dad scoffed. Then I heard the sharp sound of the calculator clearing to zero. My body jerked reflexively. I knew that sound too well. Dad pressed it every time he calculated my "cost." It struck a fear deep into my bones. Sure enough, Dad said with disgust: "Do the math. Tutors, prep courses, those supplements... isn't that all money?" "We dumped nearly five grand into her, and for what? A splash?" "I just told her, her ROI is terrifyingly low!" "She's a junk stock. Her fundamentals are trash. No matter how much we invest, it's a loss!" Even though Dad had said these things countless times, my heart still constricted violently. The soap slipped from my hands into the basin. "Should we stop her supplements next month?" Mom lowered her voice. But I still heard it clearly. "Chloe eats them and her grades go up. It works for her." "Lily eats them and nothing happens. Might as well stop wasting money." Dad agreed without hesitation. "Cut it." "Cut the tutors too. It's throwing money away." "Resources are limited. Chloe is the blue-chip stock. She'll bring glory to the family." "As for Lily... being a maid who does chores is fine too." My heart sank. Mom and Dad... were they giving up on me? Footsteps approached the bathroom. I frantically shoved my phone into my pajama pocket. Then I plunged my hands into the freezing water, scrubbing Chloe's underwear hard. To save money, Mom and Dad didn't let me use hot water for laundry. My hands were covered in chilblains, stinging at the slightest touch. But Mom and Dad turned a blind eye. Yet when Chloe got a hangnail, they screamed and rushed her to the ER, heartbroken. The bathroom door was knocked symbolically twice. Mom raised her voice: "Lily, hurry up! Stop dawdling! Mop the living room when you're done!" "Your sister has an early competition class tomorrow, don't wake her." "Okay..." Hearing my response, Mom left satisfied. I leaned against the cold tiled wall and slid down slowly. The words they just said buzzed in my brain. Junk stock. Waste. Am I really useless? Trembling, I took out my phone and clicked on the forum. My finger hovered over the screen, unable to press down. The bathroom door cracked open. Chloe poked her head in, frowning deeply. "Lily, why does washing underwear take so long?" "That's my silk pair, it's expensive. Don't ruin it." I hurriedly turned off the screen and lowered my head. "Okay." Chloe slammed the door and shuffled away in her slippers. The living room was bright, filled with laughter. Mom, Dad, and Chloe were squeezed on the sofa watching a variety show. On the coffee table were the apple slices I had just cut. I carried the water basin, silently walking around them. After hanging the laundry, I had to mop. I struggled to wring out the mop, the chilblains on my hands stinging. Only when no more water came out did I drag the heavy mop to the living room. I mopped twice before Dad frowned at me. "Lily, didn't you wring it out?" "There are water marks everywhere. What if your sister slips?" Mom glanced over coldly. "Exactly. Always so sloppy." I lowered my head and dragged the mop back to the balcony. Soaked it again, wrung it with all my strength. But Chloe looked up, annoyed. "Quiet down!" "It's so noisy, how can I watch TV?" I froze, lightening even my breathing. After finishing, I returned to my cold, damp room. Every room had heating except mine. In winter, it felt like an ice cellar. I curled up on the bed and lit up my phone again. The forum page was still open. On the black background, a single line of white text: [Are you willing to trade?] Below was a small input box, the cursor blinking. What did I have left to trade? If I could trade for just a little warmth, a little approval, I would give anything. I didn't want to be a waste anymore. With shaking hands, I typed slowly: [I want Mom and Dad to approve of me.] [I want to be number one in the grade, just like my sister.] The screen went dark, then new text appeared: [Assessing wish...] The text pulsed, the result delayed. My heart hung in the air. [Analyzing tradable assets... Exchange successful!] My breathing quickened. [You will receive: Top grades and parental approval!] Just seeing this line made my eyes hot. I dreamed of getting Mom and Dad's approval. But then, another line appeared: [You must pay the price: Become a true learning machine, devoid of self, devoid of thought.] [Consideration period: 48 hours.] [During this time, as an adaptation, you will gradually lose various senses.] [You may unilaterally terminate the transaction within 48 hours.] [Do you accept the trial?] [Yes / No] I... hesitated for a moment, then clicked Yes. The forum disappeared. The countdown officially began. Deep into the night, the chill seeped through the leaky window. But strangely, the stinging pain from the cold on my body faded significantly. At first, I didn't pay attention, thinking I was just numb. But early the next morning, when I was cooking breakfast for the family, hot oil splattered on my hand. I hissed and pulled back. But the expected burning pain didn't come. There was only a dull sensation. I stared blankly at my red finger. So it had begun. But I panicked. The forum said I would become a learning machine. Would I still be me then? Would I still recognize Mom, Dad, and Chloe? So I secretly took the allowance Grandpa gave me and went into a gift shop. I wanted to buy gifts for my family. When I became an emotionless machine... At least these gifts could accompany them in my place. They wouldn't be too sad, right? I bought a set of matching family mugs. Just then, someone tapped my shoulder lightly. "Lily?" My desk mate, Sam, wearing a black hoodie, scratched his head awkwardly. "It really is you. I watched from outside for a while, didn't dare to ask." "Is it your birthday? Is there anything you li—" Before Sam could finish, a cold voice interrupted him. "I wondered why you weren't home. Hiding here dating early, huh?" I turned around. Chloe was standing at the shop entrance, linking arms with Dad. He stared at Sam's clothes, his face darkening. I knew Dad had already labeled Sam, who wasn't in uniform, as a delinquent. My heart tightened. "Dad, I'm not dating..." I tried to hide the gift bag, but Chloe snatched it. "Wow, buying gifts for your little boyfriend?" She unwrapped the mugs I had carefully packed and sneered. "What, using parents' money to buy gifts for a boy?" "Why don't you put this effort into studying?" The ceramic mug dangled in her hand. I reached out to grab it back, but she suddenly let go. "No!" Crash. The mug shattered on the floor. "Embarrassing thing. Let's go home!" "Are you that cheap? Can't live without a man? What are you staring at? Move!" Dad dragged me out. "Uncle, we just met by chance..." Sam tried to explain, but Dad glared at him viciously. As soon as I was dragged home, Chloe added fuel to the fire and tattled to Mom. Mom was furious, as expected. Heartbroken, she said: "Lily, how did you go bad? Learning to date early?" "Mom, I..." Dad waved his hand, rubbing his temples wearily. "Take her to the bathroom and check if she's still a virgin." "If not, sue that kid." I froze in disbelief. Shame washed over me instantly. I protested violently: "No! I won't go... I didn't do anything!" "You're wronging me! I don't want to!" I couldn't even get the words out. Chloe and Mom together couldn't drag me. So Dad slapped me hard across the face, grabbed my hair, and dragged me into the bathroom. "Now you're scared? What were you thinking before?" "Hanging out with trash every day, shaming the whole family! Do you have any self-respect?" The bathroom door slammed shut. They stripped my clothes off quickly. Mom and Chloe's hands were everywhere, prying my legs apart. As if I were an object, they checked me for damage. The shame almost drowned me. Tears spun in my eyes. I don't know how long it took before they left, throwing my clothes onto my naked body. I put my clothes on numbly. My buttons wouldn't align with the holes. Just then, my phone screen, which had fallen nearby, lit up faintly. The black forum popped up automatically. [Adaptation period: 24 hours passed.] [Current sensory loss: 37%] [Warning: If transaction continues, you will become a highly efficient learning machine.] [Do you wish to terminate the transaction?] [Yes / No]
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