I am a calico cat that has gained human consciousness. Scraping by in the entertainment industry for cat treats. One day, I transformed back into my original form and fell asleep in the snow. When I woke up, I found I had been shipped to Miami! The whole world was posting missing person notices. My agent: [Where is my precious artist!] My handful of fans: [Where is my sweet daughter!] The A-list actor: [Where is my huge wife!] A random netizen mixed in: [Found a stray cat on the prairie today, so pitiful! The North is too cold, so I sent her to Miami!] Accompanied by a beautiful photo of yours truly. When the A-list actor saw it, he gave a devastating reply: [She's not spayed, is she?] Me??? 1 Who can understand the despair of doing absolutely nothing, waking up from a nap, and finding yourself transported from the prairie to Miami!!! The striking snowscape had turned into blue skies, white clouds, and blooming flowers. In the baking heat, I comfortably rolled over to expose my belly. The airport staff member stroked me while confirming over the phone. "Mr. Smith, your kitten has been at Miami International Airport for two days now. Please come and claim her as soon as possible." I stretched my cat neck to eavesdrop. Judging by the voice, the person on the other end was a young man. Upon receiving the call, his first concern was: "Have you fed the cat?" The staff member affirmed. "Yes, she's doing very well right now. When can Mr. Smith come to pick up the cat?" The young man on the other end breathed a sigh of relief. "Find a good spot and let her go. She's just a stray. "I was afraid the North was too cold and she wouldn't adapt, so I sent her to stray in Miami. "Sorry for the trouble." Stray cat??? Who are you calling a stray cat??? Besides, a stray cat doesn't necessarily want to change locations to stray! But the call was hung up early. Leaving me and the airport staff member staring at each other in confusion. 2 After feeding me, the staff member released me into the university district. This place is terrifying. I am a calico cat with unparalleled beauty. Everyone who sees me has to pet me a few times. Can't hide. Being kissed all over by a pretty girl leaving lipstick marks—positive review. Being lifted high by a handsome college boy—positive review. Being fed cat treats and canned food—positive review. Being chased for mating by an unneutered orange tabby on campus—negative review! An eighty-thousand-word negative review! He's not even a tenth as handsome as Scarface! I finally found a place without security cameras to transform into human form and buy a phone. It took a herculean effort, but I just couldn't log into my social media. I'm crying, why does logging into a new device require a verification code! I haven't memorized my agent's phone number yet. Fortunately, I managed to call my old phone and explain the whole situation. My agent, Lily, clucked with laughter. "Little kitty, is Miami nice? "Suitable for straying?" I have manners, I don't swear, I just repeatedly questioned, "Do you not love me anymore?" After laughing, Lily slowly spoke: "Wait for me to find someone to pick you up." During the long wait, how could I not play on my phone? I registered a new account and went surfing the web. Clicking in, I occupied three of the top five trending topics. Mom! I made it! The first one was: #D-list Actress Mia Goes Missing.# At this level, they really didn't need to specify that clearly. The second one: #Mia's Agent Offers Hefty Reward for Information.# Boo hoo hoo, I knew Lily was the best, she was actually willing to empty her savings for me. Clicking in, it's only two thousand bucks. Pretend I didn't say anything. Who started the rumor about a hefty reward? It's not even as much as the "Generous Reward for Lost Dog" flyers on telephone poles. The third one was: #Mia's Acting Explosion Highlights.# Boo hoo hoo hoo, Mom, even a nobody like me has personal edit videos now. I secretly liked all the posts praising me. When I backed out, I finally had time to notice the exploding number one trending topic. #A-List Actor Searching for Wife.# When did the A-list actor get a wife? Hiss, let's watch the drama. But clicking in. The A-list actor posted twenty tweets in three days. Every single one revealed the despair and heartbreak of losing his wife. [Where is my huge wife? Why did she disappear!] [Hefty reward for my wife! One million for clues!] [Wife! My wife! How can I live without my wife?] ... A very sad story, if only the attached picture wasn't a photo of me. When did I start dating the A-list actor, how come I didn't know? Slapping my forehead, I got it. I've read short stories; there are many like this. They take my photo to date the A-list actor online. The subsequent plot: the A-list actor finds me. We accidentally fall in love. Hiss, I didn't expect the A-list actor to have these thoughts about me. I told you everyone loves a little kitty. However, I already have a man. A handsome sugar baby who isn't stupid but has lots of money. A 6'1" rich kid who would use a massive mansion just to dry fish for me. Young people have great stamina; they can really toss you around in the middle of the night. Why would a cat look for a human? Then I have to mention my ex, a tabby cat who looks exactly like Brad Pitt— Scarface. We dated for half a year; touched little paws, rubbed little cheeks. But one day, Scarface ran off with a tortoiseshell cat prettier than me. Survival of the fittest, judging cats by their looks. Nature is truly cruel. From then on, I sealed my heart, deciding not to touch tomcats anymore. Instead, I'd touch men who have reproductive isolation from me. No babies; can pick it up and put it down. If I don't love him, I'll leave. 3 The A-list actor kept calling me his wife. With such certainty. So there were a bunch of inexplicable leaks on Twitter. Digging for clues about me and the A-list actor. Digging and digging, and there wasn't a single photo of us together. Nor any clues. Netizens explained: [This is called avoiding suspicion.] Me: You can do that??? Among them, I saw a very interesting tweet. From a helpful netizen: [Found a stray cat on the prairie today, so pitiful! The North is too cold, so I sent her to Miami!] Accompanied by a super gorgeous photo of yours truly. Kind person, even if you attach a beautiful photo of me. I still can't forgive you for banishing me to the frontier! But the food in Miami is pretty good. Chew chew chew. Eating an empanada. Then a bowl of ceviche. Eating while clicking open the comment section. Listening to a chorus of "hahahahaha". But the most striking was the A-list actor's comment: [She's not spayed, is she?] What are you doing??? The helpful netizen who shipped the cat: [Oh my, if you didn't remind me, I would have forgotten. I'll find someone to catch the cat back and get her spayed right now.] Motherf***er??? I shivered. Good thing I ran fast. My premium genes just don't want to breed. If I did, they would definitely be the most beautiful kittens in the world. I absolutely cannot be spayed. Suddenly I really miss Scarface. If he hadn't run away. I should have had a litter of kittens by now! Fickle dog of a tomcat!!! Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo! Tears rolled into the soup one by one. It's salty, doesn't taste good. Someone took away the ceviche in front of me. I looked up, ready to scold. And realized it was the subject of my gossip, the A-list actor. He held a tissue, trying hard to be gentle, but his hand still wiped my tears heavily. "Why are you crying?" The tears were absorbed by the tissue, a damp patch. I pouted, feeling wronged. "Why are you here? "Also, I didn't date you online. "They must have stolen my photos." The A-list actor's handsome face froze, and he only spoke half a minute later. "Do you not recognize me anymore? Daisy?" Daisy? My name when I was still a cat. I looked up and saw a trace of familiarity on the A-list actor's face. My mouth was faster than my brain. "Scarface?" I didn't wait for the A-list actor's reply. A familiar voice exploded behind me. "Sister, so this is the person you were thinking about even in my bed?" Ah!!! Why is my sugar baby here too!!! Also! When did I ever call out "Scarface" in his bed? My life is over! Terrified! Trembling! There was the sound of someone taking a seat beside me. My sugar baby stretched out a long arm, and I was completely enveloped in a warm embrace. Breath fell on my ear. My sugar baby's words continued. "I don't know what kind of centuries-old grudge Mr. A-list actor has with my sister? "But right now, the one she chose is me. "I suggest you stop posting those misleading tweets, Mr. A-list actor." A trace of loneliness flashed through Scarface's eyes. But quickly, Scarface reined in his emotions, tilted his head forty-five degrees, revealing his most impeccable profile angle, lowered his voice, and spoke slowly with his most charming vocal cords. "Don't speak too soon. "Some things aren't as simple as you think. "I believe my wife Daisy must love me; we just had a little misunderstanding. "When we clear up the misunderstanding, you'll be kicked to the curb. "You can only watch my wife and me be affectionate. "Just you wait and see." Still handsome. But slightly greasy. Sure enough, lingering attachment to an ex is like a pile of loose sand. You don't even need the wind to blow. Look a few more times and it all scatters. Younger guys are still more refreshing. So, I left with Leo, my sugar baby. Leaving nothing behind. Just like when Scarface left me with that tortoiseshell cat. Back then, two pairs of cat paw prints in the snow, walking very far away. Now, there is no snow, no paw prints. And no heartbreak either. 4 Leo didn't ask me why I was here. Nor did he ask about Scarface. The villa in Miami, not for long-term living, had no nanny. Leo remained silent, just focused on deveining the shrimp. Preparing to make my favorite spicy braised shrimp. Remembering that sentence, "Sister, so this is the person you were thinking about even in my bed?" I felt anxious and uneasy, leaning over to rub against Leo. "Baby, have you finished your senior thesis?" Leo's hand trembled, and he was pricked by the shrimp head, drawing blood. A bead of blood seeped out, but Leo didn't care, just looked up and stared into my eyes. "Sister, I'm a junior this year." A junior? Then what nonsense was I just spouting? Who will save a little kitty who only likes to sleep in the sun, but is now about to shatter. If I had known, I would have just played dead in the living room. The cold villa had nothing. I could only suck on Leo's injured finger, drawing away the surface blood. Then went out to buy iodine swabs and Band-Aids. A cartoon cat head Band-Aid, sticking it on, was like my original form protecting my little sugar daddy. "No pain, no pain." "Blow on it and it won't hurt anymore." Coaxing a man too seriously makes it easy to get yourself wrapped up in it. At noon the next day, rubbing my waist that had been tormented by the younger guy last night, I opened Twitter. I was preparing to DM my favorite celebrities, recording Leo's preferences, to be the most qualified canary. No, canary is food. Then, I'll be the most qualified little sweetheart. Humming a little tune, preparing to surf the web. Then, my heart tightened. Sure enough, Twitter had my legend again. #A-List Actor and College Boy, Mia Two-Timing.# #Miami Diner, Mia One Woman Battles Two Men.# I told them not to act like paparazzi. Clicking in, it was a photo of me held in Leo's arms, talking to Scarface. Great angle, even better timing. Looking like a pair of flaunting adulterers and a pitiful, abandoned man. The comment section was full of heartache for Scarface. [Boo hoo hoo hoo, the A-list actor is too pitiful. Finally found this bad woman, and the bad woman cheated.] [No wonder Mia isn't popular.] [Those who betray true love should swallow a hundred needles.] There were even some unbearable ones. ... Soon, Scarface came out to explain. [I'm sorry, when she went missing, I was just too anxious and didn't think it through. Mia and I had already broken up, and I didn't know she had a current boyfriend. It was my lack of consideration, please don't scold her anymore.] The comment section ached even more. Calling me an ungrateful woman. The words got uglier and uglier. My heart felt stuffy and uncomfortable. But I also knew netizens were furious right now. Even with sensible netizens around, replying now wasn't the best choice. Finally, I just threw my phone aside and admired the flowers in the wind on the balcony. When Leo came back, I was hugging a pot of flowers, crying a river. My face flushed red from crying. Leo noticed my phone screen, looked away, then pulled me into his arms, coaxing me softly. "Sister, don't cry. "He's not worth you being so sad over." It's not for Scarface. What I'm sad about is why I didn't do anything, yet these humans hate me so much. I've always been a law-abiding good cat, even helping old ladies cross the street. It's not like I helped an old lady jaywalk. Crying and choking, unable to explain, I cried myself to sleep in Leo's arms. In my daze, someone was gently patting my back, saying something about love or not. Right, love. I want lots and lots of love.
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