My boyfriend left me to die in a burning building so he could save his first love. Consumed by the roaring flames, I was reborn on the exact day he confessed his feelings to me. Amidst the roaring cheers of the crowd, I rejected him. I turned and walked toward the lonely, quiet boy standing at the edge of the crowd. But my boyfriend tightly grabbed my wrist, his voice trembling: "Didn't you say you were going to marry me when we grew up?" 1 "Say yes! Say yes!" When I opened my eyes, Caleb was holding a massive bouquet of red roses, looking at me with a confident smile. Yet, my mind was flooded with the agonizing memory of being swallowed by the fire. I remembered watching Caleb firmly scoop up his first love, Chloe, into his arms. He walked away so decisively, without leaving even a single glance for me. In my despair, I begged the heavens: If I am ever given another chance, I will never choose him again. I will stay as far away from him as possible. Suddenly, a voice echoed in my head: "Are you sure?" I answered with absolute unwavering conviction: "Yes." And just like that, I actually returned to the day Caleb confessed his love to me. 2 Caleb and I were childhood sweethearts. The whole world knew I loved him. At the beginning of our senior year of high school, he confessed to me after evening study hall. That night, I thought the paper-thin barrier between us had finally been broken, and that our feelings were mutual. It was only much later that I found out his confession was just a petty act of retaliation against Chloe. Throughout college, and even after graduation, he remained endlessly entangled with her. Every time he had to choose between us, I was always the one left behind. I finally woke up, asked for a divorce, and unexpectedly had Chloe show up at my door to provoke me. Then, the fire broke out. I waited for a rescue that never came, watching Caleb carry Chloe out without looking back. In that moment, my heart completely died. So, this time, amidst the cheering crowd... I rejected him. The noisy school courtyard instantly fell dead silent. It made sense. In my past life, I had always been Caleb's shadow. I chased after him, catered to his every need, brought him breakfast every morning, handed him water during P.E., bought his school supplies, organized his test papers, and waited for him after study hall so we could walk home together. Anyone with eyes knew I was madly in love with him. Caleb's face instantly darkened. "Harper, say that again?" I looked at him and sneered. "I could say it a hundred times, and it would still be the same. Caleb, I don't want to be your girlfriend, and I don't like you. I'm a senior now; I just want to focus on my studies." The entire crowd gasped collectively. Whispers rippled through the onlookers: [I'd believe I was the Queen of England before I'd believe Harper doesn't like Caleb.] [She's probably just playing hard to get.] [But getting rejected in public... Caleb looks like he's about to explode.] I didn't want to be the center of attention, so I turned to leave. But Caleb grabbed my wrist, suppressing his rage. "Harper, what kind of crazy act is this?" What kind of crazy act? Maybe he should ask himself that. When Chloe came to me in my past life, she smugly told me that he only confessed to me because he was mad at her. They had gotten into a fight, and Chloe started flirting with another guy in her class. Furious, Caleb turned around and confessed to me. He did it because he was absolutely certain I loved him and wouldn't reject him. He wanted to force Chloe to yield, so he weaponized my feelings. I looked down at my wrist, which was turning red, and peeled his fingers off one by one. I pointed at the girl standing at the very back of the crowd. "Aren't you in love with her? You two get into a lover's spat and use me as a pawn to make each other jealous. What, do I look like a willing sacrifice to you?" 3 For a split second, Caleb froze in place. He watched Chloe turn and walk away, then snapped his gaze back to me, a warning in his eyes. "Harper, are you done throwing this tantrum? This is between us. Why are you dragging other people into it?" I'm throwing a tantrum? His defensive posture only confirmed the absolute truth of my words. I shook off his hand and stared at him, enunciating every word. "Caleb, do you not speak English? I said, I do not like you." He sneered. "If you don't like me, who else could you possibly like?" Seventeen years of history gave him the blinding confidence to believe I could never live without him. But I had fought tooth and nail to return to my senior year. I only wanted to live for myself now. I walked past Caleb, heading straight toward the quiet, lonely boy standing behind him. It was Liam, the valedictorian of our grade. I stood next to him and looked back at Caleb. "I like studying. I want to get into MIT." Then, I turned to Liam. "Hey, academic god. I might need to ask you for a lot of tutoring from now on." 4 After I rejected Caleb, we entered a cold war. Everyone was placing bets that I wouldn't last a single day before crawling back to him. I just laughed. And placed a bet myself. [Forever.] [No way, did Harper take the wrong meds?] [Just quietly, Caleb is practically foaming at the mouth. Harper didn't bring him breakfast, and he's already thrown a fit three times during morning homeroom.] That was none of my business. All I wanted to do was study. All I asked was for him to stop bothering me. I actually had excellent grades in high school. But in my past life, after getting together with Caleb during senior year, I purposely slacked off so I could stay in-state with him. I found out later it was because Chloe was staying in-state too. He did it on purpose. Opening my backpack, I realized I still had the expensive matching stationery set I had prepared for Caleb. As I pulled it out, I heard Caleb's desk-mate snicker, "See? I told you. She couldn't even last the morning." Caleb wore a smug, arrogant expression, clearly waiting for me to walk over and hand-deliver it to him. Instead, I took all the supplies out. And turned to my desk-mate, Liam. "Hey, valedictorian. A little preemptive bribe. I'm going to be relying on you a lot." Honestly, in my past life, I didn't interact much with Liam. He seemed to spend every waking second studying. I occasionally asked him a question or two. But since I knew my score was more than enough for the local college I aimed for, I eventually stopped trying. I faintly remembered him asking me once where I wanted to apply. Back then, my heart and soul were entirely consumed by Caleb. I pointed in Caleb's direction and said, "Wherever he goes, I go." Liam hadn't said anything else. Now, as I handed him the stationery, he lifted his eyes to look at me. His cool, distant gaze held a hint of quiet observation. I smiled openly. "Sorry if this is too forward. If you don't like it, I'll just throw it away." Hearing the words "throw it away," Caleb's face turned incredibly ugly. He aggressively kicked the leg of the desk in front of him. But to my surprise, Liam simply said, "Thank you," and accepted it. 5 Only after I decided to study hard and distance myself from both of them did I realize how far my current level was from my dream university. But I absolutely loved the feeling of wrestling with a brutal math problem until midnight, feeling like I was dying and coming back to life. I loved discussing different ways to solve a problem with the top students, and the rush of clarity when it finally clicked. It turned out that a life not centered around Caleb was actually incredibly fun. Soon, the Senior Pep Rally arrived. In my past life, I was pushed onto the stage and encouraged to publicly confess to Caleb. What did I say back then? Oh, right. I said that youth should be lived without regrets, that you should love whoever you want to love, and that I was confident Caleb and I would get into the same college, so we should spend the rest of our time enjoying the beauty of our school days. The whole school was in an uproar, and our parents were even called to the principal's office. Thinking back on it now, I wanted to punch my hopelessly romantic, idiotic past self. This time, I stood quietly in the crowd, silently memorizing vocabulary flashcards, trying to make myself invisible. But during the open-mic segment, a girl in my class suddenly shouted, "Harper took broadcasting classes! Let her go up and say a few words for our class!" Others immediately chimed in: "Hilarious, is she gonna go up there and confess to Caleb again? So embarrassing." "Didn't she reject Caleb? Is she trying to use this to make peace and confess her feelings?" "I bet she doesn't have the guts, haha." "Yeah, she definitely wouldn't dare." "It's so annoying. She placed a bet herself that she wouldn't crawl back, but she's still just a desperate lapdog." I took a deep breath. I knew this was coming. They all wanted to see me make a fool of myself. I understood why—after all, the "old me" revolved entirely around Caleb. Even Caleb himself probably thought I was just throwing a prolonged temper tantrum. But only I knew how incredibly precious this second chance at life was. I turned to look at Caleb, who was standing a short distance behind me. Our eyes met. Wearing his school uniform, he looked arrogant and self-assured, his chin tilted up slightly, seemingly waiting for me to step onto the stage and publicly declare my devotion to him, washing away the humiliation of my previous rejection. Out of the corner of my eye, I also caught Liam's gaze. For some inexplicable reason, I actually felt a little guilty. Encouraged by the teachers, I stepped out and slowly walked up to the podium. Behind me, the whispers continued: "If Harper doesn't confess to Caleb today, I'll lose all respect for her." "My boy Caleb always wins. You just can't spoil women." "..." Looking out at the massive sea of students, I adjusted the microphone and spoke with bright, confident clarity: "Respected teachers, dear classmates, good morning! I am Harper from the Senior 1 AP Class." "The September osmanthus is blooming. As we begin our senior year, carrying the hopes of our teachers and the weight of our own dreams, standing before the dawn of our college admissions exams, I solemnly pledge: The sharpest sword is forged in the hottest fire, and the sweetest plum blossom blooms in the bitterest cold. We have sharpened our blades for years, waiting for the moment to conquer the peak. I will give it my all and not waste my youth. I hope everyone here perseveres to the end, fights hard for this one year, and lets your dreams set sail!" I was greeted by a thunderous standing ovation. In my past life, when I finished that embarrassing confession, all I heard were whistles, mocking laughter, and boos. I had finally changed the trajectory of the story. But to my surprise, after the rally was dismissed, Caleb cornered me. "Harper, we need to talk." 6 "I have nothing to talk to you about." I didn't even give him a second glance. I walked straight toward the classroom. Caleb chased after me, grabbed my arm, and ignoring my resistance, dragged me toward the edge of the football field. "What is wrong with you?" He frowned, interrogating me. I didn't back down. I shook his hand off. "How many times do I have to say it before you understand? I just want to study." I turned to leave. He threw his arm out to block me, his eyes filled with disbelief. "If you want to study, fine! But why aren't you bringing me breakfast? Why did you give the things you bought for me to someone else? Why aren't you waiting for me to walk home after study hall? Why did you rej—" He didn't finish the last word. So I finished it for him. "Why did I reject you? Do you think you're a hundred-dollar bill? Why wouldn't I reject you?" He was furious. He gritted his teeth so hard his jaw jumped, struggling to keep his temper in check. Right. In the past, he was always the one rejecting me. He stood on his high horse, caring only about his own feelings. He soaked up all my unconditional love, and then gave all his love to someone else. And as for me, as long as he tossed me a crumb of affection, I would gratefully eat it up. I used to be such an idiot. An idiot who acted like every other man in the world had died except him. After a long silence, Caleb finally spat out, "Harper, you never used to be like this." I looked up at him. "Caleb, I was blind to ever like you. Go ahead and fly off into the sunset with your precious Chloe. Stop buzzing around my face like an annoying fly." I walked away. From behind me, I heard Caleb's low, angry shout: "Fine, Harper! Don't regret this." 7 Ever since our bitter fallout by the football field, every morning, Chloe would walk up three flights of stairs just to deliver Caleb breakfast. During the main recess, she would thoughtfully bring him drinks. During our combined P.E. classes, she would even wipe his sweat and feed him water while he played basketball. Soon, the whole school was gossiping that they were a couple. And Caleb never denied it. Some nosy classmates still came up to ask me what I thought about it. I was in the middle of a brutal battle with a physics problem. Hearing the question, I just replied flatly, "That's great. I hope they lock it down so they don't ruin anyone else's life." Unable to solve the problem, I used my pen to poke Liam in the arm. I pushed my test paper over. "I only got the first step down, I have no idea how to do the rest." Liam glanced at the problem, and his long, elegant fingers picked up a pen. Seeing he was about to explain it, I quickly grabbed my notebook and leaned closer. I thought I saw a fleeting smile cross his lips. "For this problem, we need to use this formula. Let's break down the prompt first..." I had to admit, Liam truly lived up to his valedictorian title. Coming from him, these insanely difficult problems suddenly made perfect sense. In a few sentences, he completely untangled my logic. I took the opportunity to slide my entire notebook of mistakes over to him. "Could you look at these too? I understand some of them now, but I still can't find the underlying pattern." He took the notebook from my hands, our fingertips brushing. His hand was so cold. I quickly pulled mine back. He looked at the problems I had copied down with intense, focused seriousness. I suddenly remembered my past and realized what an absolute fool I had been. The academic god was literally my desk-mate, and my brain was entirely occupied by a high school romance. I deserved to fail! Just as he was about to speak, I leaned in a little closer. Without warning, a basketball came flying out of nowhere and slammed into me. The next second, a blinding pain exploded in my nose, and warm liquid started gushing down my face. Before I could even see who threw it, a gust of wind rushed toward me. Caleb forcefully grabbed my head, tilting it upward. He rapidly yanked some tissues from a pack and pressed them against my nose. His voice was laced with an indescribable panic. "Does it hurt?" Then he grabbed my arm, trying to drag me toward the restroom. I violently yanked my hand out of his grip and glared at him coldly. "Caleb, what the hell is wrong with you?" 8 I picked up the basketball by my feet and hurled it as hard as I could right into his chest. He didn't dodge. He stood perfectly still, looking down at me, then glanced at Liam sitting beside me. He sneered, "Harper, is your love really this brief?" Brief? I almost laughed in his face. In my past life, I revolved around him for over twenty years. When we got married, he cried and swore he would be with me for eternity, promising he'd never let me suffer. I believed him every single time. I enabled him every single time. Because he had been a part of my entire existence. I naively thought growing old with him would be the most romantic thing in the world. But I overestimated him, and I underestimated my own feelings. My heart felt a sudden, sharp ache. But I still met his gaze head-on. "Caleb, everyone knows you and Chloe are dating. Date whoever you want, but why are you dragging me into it? Am I just a prop in your little couple's game?" My voice wasn't overly loud, but it was loud enough for everyone in the classroom to hear. A wave of muffled laughter rippled through the crowd. Caleb panicked. He reached out to grab my hand to explain, "I am not dating her." I dodged him, turning my body away. "Oh, so you're just stringing her along too? You're absolute trash." "I'm not! She's the one who keeps initiating it." Just as the words left his mouth, a loud thud echoed from the doorway. Chloe stood there, her eyes rimmed with red. The drink she had brought for Caleb was spilled all over the floor. She wiped the corner of her eye, turned around, and ran. I saw Caleb's hands clench into tight fists. The next second, he sprinted after her. 9 After I sat back down, Liam pulled a wet wipe from his bag and handed it to me. "Do you want to go to the restroom?" I shook my head. "No, it's fine." Some blood had dripped onto my pants. It was already drying into dark red spots. I took the wipe and carefully tried to clean it, but the stain wouldn't come out. It was strange. I hadn't been thinking about anything at all. Yet, my eyes uncontrollably began to burn. I quickly lowered my head. Even though I was the one abandoned in every choice he made in my past life... Living through it again still hurt. But I figured it was just an involuntary reflex from the twenty-something-year-old Harper inside me. So I dug my fingernails hard into my palm until a sharp pain shot through me. I silently repeated to myself: Seventeen-year-old Harper, this time, you have to win. A moment later, Liam's clear, calm voice broke the silence. "There are a few different ways to solve these problems. Do you want to hear them?" I quickly wiped my face with my hand, lifted my head, and flashed him a massive, toothy grin. "Yes!" That night during study hall, Liam pushed his meticulously organized physics notes in front of me. "You might need these." I opened the notebook. It was filled with his neat, elegant handwriting, summarizing every core concept and its classic application problems. In his past life, he got into MIT. I heard he moved back to our hometown after graduating. I didn't know why. I wrote a note and slid it over to him: "Liam, do you think if I start trying hard right now, I can get into MIT?" He unfolded the note. The warm white light from the desk lamp illuminated his face, casting thick shadows from his eyelashes. Below his straight nose, the corners of his lips curved upward. He picked up his pen. My heart was in my throat. I was terrified he would write back: "At your level? Highly doubtful." But when he slid the note back, there was only one word. "Yes." 10 Maybe it was because my desire to change my fate in this life was so overwhelming, or maybe it was the validation from the ultimate academic god. A blazing fire of determination ignited inside me. I started organizing notes for every subject and breaking down the core concepts. In the past, I relied on being somewhat naturally smart, so I only ever half-understood a lot of problems. Now, I started from the absolute basics, chewing through the textbook material until I truly understood it. Taking full advantage of sitting next to Liam, I ruthlessly exploited my access to this genius resource. I even added his contact info so I could conveniently ask him about difficult problems after hours. He rarely posted on social media, but the only thing that kept appearing on his feed was a potted sunflower. Maybe that sunflower held a special meaning for him. Just like how Caleb used to post vague pictures of white gardenias—which translated to "Zhi" (Chloe's Chinese name) in my past life. I eventually understood it meant Chloe. Come to think of it, Chloe hadn't come to bring Caleb breakfast lately. But surprisingly, a carton of yogurt and a pastry appeared on my desk. I asked Liam, "Is this yours?" He shook his head. The girl sitting behind me poked my back and whispered, "I got here early. Caleb dropped it off." Tsk. They get into a fight, and he comes running back to me to validate his existence. I didn't even turn to look at him. I walked straight to the back of the classroom and threw it in the trash can. When I walked back, Caleb stuck his foot out into the aisle to block me, his eyes harboring dark anger. "Harper, what is your problem?!" "I don't know what you're talking about." He pointed at the trash can. "I bought that breakfast." "Oh." "Oh? That's your only reaction?" It actually made me laugh. "Caleb, did you get possessed by an alien? It's just breakfast. What kind of reaction do you want? Do you want me to get on my knees and bow to you?" His eyes widened in fury, completely exasperated. "Harper, haven't you thrown this tantrum long enough? What do I have to do to get you to talk to me?" I crossed my arms, shot him a sideways glance, and threw the exact words he used in our past life right back in his face: "Are you ever going to stop? Go find a hobby. I'm busy." Then I stepped over his leg and sat down at my desk. Caleb lowered his voice. "Fine, Harper. Have it your way!"
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