Chapter 1 Every time my husband went to visit his terminally ill childhood friend, he would hint at getting a divorce. Because his childhood friend's greatest dying wish was to have a legitimate title. Today, he hinted at it again. I didn't cry, and I didn't make a scene. I just calmly said, "Okay." Because this exact conversation had already happened ninety-nine times. And today was the one-hundredth time. I had finally found the definitive reason to convince myself to divorce him. I had miscarried our baby. Now, the only thing tying us together was two thin pieces of paper—our marriage certificate. ... Seven days after my miscarriage, I ran into Liam at the mall. He was carrying bags full of shopping, his eyes overflowing with tenderness as he looked at Olivia. But the moment he saw me, he frowned instantly. "What are you doing here? Didn't we agree to get the divorce finalized first? Are you backing out now?" He looked at me defensively, his icy stare piercing straight through to my heart. Olivia playfully swatted his arm and looked at me apologetically: "Serena, please don't misunderstand. Liam is just too eager to marry me." Saying that, she covertly glanced at my stomach, a smug smile playing on her lips. "Our wedding is set for next week. We'd love it if you and the baby came to watch." I instinctively touched my flat stomach. Before I could speak, Liam cut me off: "How can she come to a wedding when she's pregnant? What if her condition brings you bad luck? It's bad energy." My hand froze on my stomach. Once again, I was stunned by Liam's absolute callousness. Olivia has a terminal illness, and you don't think that's bad luck? You spend every day running around a hospital, and you don't think that's bad luck? But because I was carrying your flesh and blood, you think I'm bad luck. It was truly ironic. But then again, I wasn't Olivia. Why would I deserve your concern? Otherwise, you wouldn't have completely vanished while knowing I was in the hospital trying to save my pregnancy. If you had just asked me a single question, you would have known. Our baby was already gone. Seeing me stay silent, Liam didn't care. He just lowered his head and went back to discussing wedding details with Olivia, completely ignoring me. I watched them silently, countless memories flashing through my mind. Ever since Olivia was diagnosed with her terminal illness, Liam became a completely different person. He stopped caring about our baby, and he stopped coming home. Disappearing without a trace became a regular occurrence. At first, he said: "Serena, Olivia is very sick. I can't just leave her side." "Don't worry, I just feel sorry for her. There's nothing else going on." Later, he said: "Serena, Olivia's greatest dying wish is to marry me. I don't want her to die with any regrets." I knew exactly what he was implying, but I refused to understand. He dropped that hint ninety-nine times. And I found ninety-nine different excuses to reject him, ninety-nine times. Until the one-hundredth time, when he stopped hinting. That day, right after I received my 32nd progesterone injection to save the pregnancy, I walked out of the hospital and received a text from Liam. No concern, no comfort. Just a cold, hard notification. [The day after tomorrow, 9:00 AM, meet me outside the courthouse. We're getting a divorce.] A single sentence, just a few words, completely shattered me. That day, lying on the cold concrete of the parking garage, I called Liam countless times. But in the end, the only call that went through was to 911. The doctor told me they couldn't save the baby. I lay in my hospital bed from dusk till dawn, waiting, only to receive a single text from him. [Stop calling me so much. The ringing is annoying.] Staring at the message on my screen, I bit my lip until it bled. Liam, I agree. From now on, we will never have anything to do with each other again. I wish you... happiness. My memories stopped there. Liam nudged me, reminding me coldly: "Don't forget, we're going to get the divorce finalized tomorrow. Don't try to fake being sick again." I was stunned for a moment, then I remembered. On the third day after my miscarriage, Liam had called me. It was the only call he made, while he was waiting outside the courthouse. At the time, I had just finished an IV drip that lasted all night, and I was in terrible shape. When I answered the call, I accidentally hit the speakerphone button, and Liam's impatient, accusing voice echoed through the entire hospital room. "Serena, is this fun for you?" "We agreed on 9:00 AM for the divorce, and it's already noon. What excuse are you going to use this time?" Under the strange looks from the nurses, it took all my strength to stop trembling. I replied softly: "I'm in the hospital." The breathing on the other end of the line hitched for a second, then quickly returned to normal. I heard Liam's disdainful chuckle: "Enough. Stop making excuses. I'll give you one last chance." "Next Wednesday, I'll see you at the courthouse." The call ended. The nurses didn't say anything, they just quietly walked out. The moment the door clicked shut, my remaining dignity was utterly destroyed. That was when I realized that the most painful thing wasn't the harm inflicted by the person you love. It was the pity from bystanders while the person you love is hurting you. Closing my eyes, I pulled myself out of the mud of my memories: "Okay." Liam raised an eyebrow and continued: "After the divorce, just stay home and focus on your pregnancy. Don't contact me unless it's an absolute emergency." "Okay." Perhaps because I agreed too readily, Liam was actually taken aback. He loosened his grip on Olivia and his gaze fell on my stomach. "How's the baby? Is he behaving?" The moment he spoke, my eyes instantly turned red. I used every ounce of my strength to swallow the sob rising in my throat. "He's behaving. Very well-behaved." So well-behaved that even when he left, he couldn't bear to let me suffer for too long. Terrified that I would lose control of my emotions, I didn't dare say another word and simply turned to leave. As we brushed past each other, I noticed a lipstick stain on Liam's collar. It was the exact same shade as the lipstick on Olivia's lips. And the exact same color as the blood on the parking garage floor that day. Walking past a maternity store, a salesperson enthusiastically stopped me. "Ms. Davis, the clothes you ordered last time have arrived." "Is it convenient for you to pick them up today?" I was about to say I didn't need them anymore, but my eyes uncontrollably locked onto the baby in the poster. If my baby had been born safely, he probably would have been just as cute. While I was distracted, the salesperson efficiently bagged the clothes and handed them to me. It was a pastel yellow baby onesie. Liam's favorite color was yellow. I stared blankly at the tiny clothes in the bag and fled the mall in a panic. The moment I closed my car door, the dam broke. How muffled and agonizing can the cries of a mother who just lost her child be? In that moment, I finally knew. By the time I got home, it was late at night. The moment I opened the fridge, I saw the papayas inside. I couldn't eat them while I was pregnant, and every time I saw them, my mouth would water. Now that I could eat them, seeing them only made me want to cry. Going back to the kitchen, I made two dishes. Papaya stewed in milk, and a bowl of chicken congee. Just as I was about to eat, I heard the sound of keys turning in the front door. Liam walked in, pulling a suitcase behind him. I found it strange; he hadn't been home in a long time since Olivia's condition worsened. "Why are you back? Don't you need to stay with Olivia?" Liam dragged his suitcase straight toward the bedroom, answering casually: "Since Olivia and I are getting married, I came back specifically to pack my things." "Saves me the trouble later." I gave a noncommittal "hmm," but my mind uncontrollably flashed back to Olivia's words. [Our wedding is set for next week. We'd love it if you and the baby came to watch.] Right, it was only a few days away. If he didn't move his things now, he might catch my 'bad luck' in a few days, and then he wouldn't be able to shake it off. My tears fell into my bowl, vanishing without a trace, just like Liam's love for me. But it wasn't supposed to be like this. He used to anticipate this baby's arrival, too. We had been so happy for so long. I lowered my head, about to eat my congee, when Liam, having finished packing, suddenly spoke up: "You made chicken congee?" "What a coincidence, Olivia didn't have dinner. This will be perfect to tide her over." With that, he naturally walked over and snatched the bowl right out of my hands. I stared at my empty hands, forgetting to react for a moment. It wasn't until he had already found a clean thermos to pack the congee that I finally spoke: "That's my dinner." Liam didn't even look up as he packed the thermos. "Aren't there other things on the table? Just eat that." My gaze fell on the bowl of papaya stewed in milk. I twitched my lips and said softly: "Pregnant women shouldn't eat papaya." Liam froze for a second, setting down the thermos: "Then... maybe just eat a little less?" "You've had so many prenatal checkups and everything is fine. A little bit shouldn't hurt, right?" My nose stung. I lifted my head, refusing to let the tears fall. "It's fine." The baby was already gone, so nothing mattered anymore. Perhaps sensing my sadness, Liam sighed and pulled me into a hug. "Serena, just hold on a little longer, okay?" "Once the wedding is over, I promise I'll spend quality time with you. Just bear with it for a bit, alright?" I gave an "mhm," but my mind uncontrollably drifted to the past. [Serena, Olivia can't be left alone right now. Once she's feeling better, I'll go with you to your prenatal checkup.] [Serena, Olivia has a fever. I'll call you after her tests are done.] [Serena, Olivia won't let me leave. I'll come home to you after she falls asleep.] Liam, when will you realize that I truly can't wait anymore? I pulled out of his embrace and handed him the thermos. "Go." Don't look back. The moment he was about to close the door, I called out to him. "Liam, do you remember what number you were on when you asked me for a divorce that day?" Liam's back stiffened. Before he could speak, I continued: "One hundred." "Today is one hundred and one." "Tomorrow, outside the courthouse. Be there." With that, I stepped forward and slowly, but firmly, closed the door. Leaning against the door, I heard Liam's rapid breathing on the other side. He didn't leave, and I didn't move. The physical distance between us was just a four-inch thick door. But our hearts were separated by an entire world. The next second, Liam used his key to open the door. He didn't step inside, just looked at me for a long time. Finally, he pulled a palm-sized baby rattle from his pocket and handed it to me. "I saw this at the mall today. Our baby should like it." That one sentence shattered all the strength I had forced myself to build. Taking the rattle, I immediately closed and locked the door, collapsing to the floor, sobbing silently. I didn't understand why people only recognize love after they've lost it. Why must he give me a glimmer of hope right after I had finalized my decision? The rattle fell to the floor with a sharp, crisp clink. I sat there on the floor, withered, for the entire night. The next morning, I left on time. As soon as I got in the car, I received a call from the hospital, asking me to pick up the miscarriage report I had left behind. I hadn't had the courage to open it back then, burying my head in the sand and leaving it at the hospital. I thought that as long as I didn't look at it, I could pretend nothing had happened. Now, it was time to wake up. At 9:00 AM, Liam was late. He looked like he hadn't slept all night either, his eyes bloodshot. When he saw me, a flash of disappointment crossed his eyes. "I thought... you wouldn't come today." I didn't say anything, just walked into the courthouse ahead of him. How could I not come? We had both waited too long for this day. Right before signing, Liam suddenly hesitated. His black pen hovered over the paper for a long time, refusing to move. Seeing this, the clerk kindly suggested: "Since the gentleman hasn't fully made up his mind, maybe you should reconsider." I smiled, finding it ironic. If he truly hadn't made up his mind, why would he have insisted on it a hundred times? Liam turned to look at me and whispered: "Serena, as soon as Olivia and my wedding is over, we'll remarry." I gave another "mhm," remaining silent. I figured, he had lied to me so many times, it was my turn to lie to him. Holding the divorce certificate, Liam's heart beat erratically. He felt an intense, inexplicable unease, as if he had missed something crucial. Walking out the front doors, Olivia had also arrived. She was wearing a yellow sundress, looking absolutely healthy in the sunlight, without a trace of illness. I tilted my head, gesturing to Liam: "Olivia is waiting for you." Liam gave an unnatural "mhm," his face devoid of joy. Olivia walked over, pulled an invitation from her purse, and handed it to me with a smile: "Serena, Liam and I talked about it, and we still want to welcome you and the baby to our wedding." "Here is your invitation." My first instinct was to tell her I didn't have a baby anymore, and I wouldn't be going to the wedding. But then I caught a glimpse of Liam's tense expression. Forget it, we're divorced anyway. What's the point of saying it now? Shaking my head, I stepped around them, ready to leave. A couple walking toward me bumped into me. Smack! My purse fell, its contents spilling all over the ground. Liam's pupils contracted. He immediately rushed to help me up, asking with urgent concern: "Are you okay? Does your stomach hurt? Our ba—" The rest of his sentence died in his throat. The man's gaze was locked onto the miscarriage report lying on the ground.
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