I’ve been crazy about Ethan Cole for ages, like, forever. Today was supposed to be our engagement party. I seriously wanted to shout my happiness from the rooftops. … Inside the bridal boutique. I kinda lost myself just looking at him next to me, a sweet little smile playing on my lips without me even realizing it. “Ethan, what do you think of this dress? Do you like it?” I tilted my head up slightly to look at him, my eyes shining bright, my hopeful gaze maybe a little too eager to please. He just stayed silent, distant, like always. My heart sank a little. When I saw his eyes sweep over me, I quickly looked down, pretending to adjust the dress, trying hard to hide how disappointed I felt. “Sorry, we’ve been looking for so long, you must be tired. Actually, I… I have something I need to tell you. Something really important.” I bit my lip, looking down, probably looking pretty pathetic and small. 2 His deep eyes scanned me, his brow furrowed slightly. His voice was flat, no emotion. “Go ahead. I have work to get back to soon.” I silently cheered myself on inside. Ava Fischer, you can do this! Make him see! Make him understand that you two being together isn’t just because your parents wanted it. Tell him how you feel. All those feelings you’ve bottled up for years, that intense, deep love! I gripped my trembling hands together, took a deep breath. “Ethan, ever since I was little, I’ve—” Just then, the bell over the boutique door chimed loudly, “Welcome~” cutting me right off. My courage deflated like a popped balloon. The sound drew both our attention, and we looked towards the entrance together. A young couple walked in. “Come on in! It took me forever to find this place,” the woman said, her smile bright and charming. 3 I instinctively glanced back at Ethan beside me. And in that second, I froze. A chill ran straight through me, bone-deep. The man who was always so cool and distant with me… his breathing suddenly seemed ragged, his chest rising and falling quickly. Ethan’s eyes were locked onto that woman, and they held so, so many emotions… Shock? Joy? Hurt? Anger? Angry, hurt, deeply indignant. Did they know each other? What… what was their relationship? Panic seized me. I was too scared to even think about it anymore. I couldn't help but reach out and grab Ethan’s arm, my voice soft, pleading, “Ethan, I’m a little tired. Let’s just go home, okay?” 4 It was like Ethan couldn't even hear me. His sharp eyes were still glued to that woman. He heartlessly pushed my hand away and slowly walked towards her. I clearly saw the woman’s face tense up too, her eyes darting away, the rims starting to turn a tell-tale red. But the guy with her seemed completely clueless, happily looking at dresses with the sales consultant. Ethan walked right up to the girl, furious. He suddenly grabbed her wrist, his intense gaze fixed on her. “Come with me!” For a split second, everything went dead silent. The man with the woman reacted instantly, shoving the door open and chasing after them. Only after they were gone did I snap out of it, like waking from a dream, and ran after them. But when I reached the door and pushed it open, I stopped dead in my tracks, trembling all over. I saw Ethan’s bodyguard, his assistant, blocking the man who had run out. And Ethan… Ethan, who was always so composed and detached, had tears welling in his own eyes as he crushed the heartbroken, crying woman against him, holding her so tight it looked like he wanted to merge her into himself. His voice was a raw, choked whisper. “Lily… Lily…” “Don’t leave me…” 5 In that moment, I swear I heard my own heart shatter. It felt like a giant hand was squeezing my chest, making it impossible to breathe. My love, my marriage… was it over before it even began? I couldn’t stay there a second longer. Under the pitying gazes of the shop assistants, I stumbled out, shaking. I wandered down the street like a ghost, freezing cold inside. People passing by gave me strange, curious looks. It wasn't until a light breeze blew that I realized tears had been streaming down my face for who knows how long. I must look like a complete wreck right now. Like some lost soul, just drifting aimlessly. I don’t know how much time passed before I finally, numbly, made it home. I pushed open the familiar door. My pupils constricted violently. 6 There, on the floor… Lay a pair of unfamiliar nude high heels. Whose shoes were these? Why were they in the house Ethan and I were supposed to share? I didn’t care about anything else anymore. I slammed the door shut and bolted up the stairs towards the bedroom. I threw open the bedroom door. That woman, Lily, was wearing my pajamas and my slippers, casually looking around my room like she owned the place. In that instant, something inside my head just snapped. Anger, jealousy, hatred, heartbreak… All these tangled emotions exploded inside me. Shaking, I pointed a finger at her, demanding, “Who are you? Why are you in my house?” Lily acted like I’d said the funniest thing ever, letting out a giggle. After she finished laughing, she looked at me with pity. “So, you’re Ava Fischer. You do look a bit like me, no wonder you managed to stick around Ethan for so long. But now that the real deal is back, you little imposter should just get lost. As far away as possible.” 7 It felt like all the strength drained out of me. My heart ached with a thousand tiny pinpricks. My body swayed; I could barely stand. The man I’d loved for seven years, my fiancé, had apparently been using me as a stand-in for this woman the whole time. So, when he was in a good mood, his eyes full of tenderness, calling me… calling me Ava… was he even thinking of me? What was I then? What the hell was I? Lily smirked at me, but her voice was deceptively soft. “Looks like your position as Mrs. Cole-to-be isn’t so secure anymore. As far as I know, this was supposed to be your marital home, right? Did you know, I just casually mentioned I liked it here, and Ethan’s already planning to buy it for me? I just have to mention wanting something to eat, and he’ll drive out in the middle of the night to get it and feed it to me, bite by bite. He smiles gently at me, tells me all those sweet nothings couples say. But you? You get nothing. He doesn’t love you at all. With you, he’ll always just be cold and impatient.” Every word she said stabbed at my heart, tearing it apart. I was furious, trembling with rage. Then, her next sentence made my anger explode like a balloon popping. She stood up, looked me up and down like I was a piece of merchandise, and then scoffed. “I heard from Ethan… he hasn’t even touched you yet, right? Do you know why?” 8 “Because you make him sick. Just looking at you makes him want to puke.” “Take the hint and get out while you can.” I completely lost it. I grabbed the fruit knife from the table and screamed hysterically at her, “In your dreams, you bitch! Even if I die, I won’t let you win! Mrs. Cole can only be me! I want to see you wanting Ethan and never getting him! I want to see you miserable and desperate!” My outburst clearly scared Lily. Her face went pale, her eyes instantly reddened, tears brimming but not falling, making her look incredibly pitiful. “Ava, please don’t misunderstand… I just happened to go to that bridal shop. I honestly don’t want to fight you for Ethan. Yes, I love him very much, but you’re already with him, I can’t… I really can’t…” By this point, she was sobbing uncontrollably. I hesitated, suspicious. What game was she playing now, switching her attitude like this? But the next second, I understood. 9 Ethan appeared out of nowhere. He forcefully grabbed the knife from my hand. I lost my balance and fell hard, scraping my cheek painfully against the floor. Ethan didn’t even glance at me whimpering on the ground. He carefully pulled Lily into his arms, shielding her. Then, his face grim, he towered over me and demanded, “Are you crazy? Do you have any idea what you were doing? Apologize to Lily right now!” Me, crazy? Heh. A bottomless despair washed over me. “Yeah, I must be crazy! If I weren’t crazy, how could I have fallen for a cold-blooded, heartless jerk like you!” Ethan looked furious. “What did you say?” Me, who had always tried so hard to please him, suddenly found a courage I never knew I had. The words just tumbled out. “Was I wrong? You have a fiancée, but you’re messing around with this… this other woman! Did you ever once think about how I feel? About our parents?” Ethan froze, momentarily speechless. The room fell silent. 10 Seeing things weren't going her way, Lily whimpered softly, looking utterly vulnerable. “Ethan, let me go. Please, just let me go. I love you so much, but we’re in the past. Please let me go. You have a fiancée now. I don’t want to be the other woman, destroying your life. Let me go…” Ethan panicked, holding her even tighter, rambling reassurances, “I know you’re not the other woman! It’s my fault. I’ll fix this, okay? Just give me a little more time. I really can’t lose you again…” I watched them coldly, my heart already aching too much to breathe. Lily squirmed in his arms, pretending to want to leave, but they only seemed to cling tighter, press closer… I couldn’t take it anymore. Covering my face, I ran out the door… The way he cherished Lily, down to his bones, only highlighted how pathetic and small I was. I ran out into the empty street, squatted down, and just sobbed my heart out. After I cried myself out, I made a decision. “I’m calling off the engagement!” … 11 When I told my girlfriends about my decision, none of them believed me. “No way, Ava, are you kidding us? Weren’t you the one crying and begging to marry him?” “Okay, I always thought you were way too into him, but honestly, the guy you picked is pretty damn good. He’s got the looks, he’s got the brains.” “Plus, he’s so steady, squeaky clean private life, never messes around with other women.” “Seriously, you worked so hard for this, finally got your dream guy. You should be thrilled.” … I managed a smile that felt worse than crying. “His old flame, his first love… she’s back.” Truth be told, before that Lily showed up… I used to believe you could warm someone's heart, eventually. In my twenty-something years, loving him felt like the only thing I’d ever stuck with for so long. Stuck with it until my love, my willingness to compromise, became a habit. 12 I met him during a high school club event off-campus. I’d gotten separated from my best friend that day, and my phone battery was about to die. And I have a terrible sense of direction; without GPS, I’m totally lost. Just when I was about to give up under the blazing sun, he appeared. In that instant, it felt like I got struck by lightning. My mind went completely blank. Me, usually pretty outgoing and confident… Suddenly understood what it meant to be awkward and self-conscious. The second I saw him… I started worrying. Did my makeup look weird because of the sun? Was my whole 'young and energetic' outfit trying too hard? That BBQ stain on my shirt from lunch suddenly felt like it was burning a hole through the fabric. Right then, I knew. I was done for. I’d caught the love bug, bad.
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