I was the childhood friend. Wendy was the girl who fell from the sky. They say the girl next door never stands a chance against the one who appears out of nowhere. Not long after she transferred, someone saw them in the empty stairwell after school. My wild, untamable Bill, head bowed like a scolded puppy, was meekly apologizing to her. Later, after a small falling out between Wendy and me, he delivered the final blow with a single, careless sentence: "I don't want to see Tessa Shaw at school anymore." My parents, terrified of jeopardizing their ties to the Vances, immediately had me transferred. From that day on, I vanished from his world, not daring to even show my face where he might see it. But then, on his birthday, he showed up at my door, drenched and miserable, his face a mask of desperation and hurt. "You forgot it was my birthday, didn't you?" 1 They say the girl next door never stands a chance against the one who appears out of nowhere. I used to scoff at that. But now, sitting in the school auditorium, watching Bill gaze at Wendy as she danced on stage, the undisguised adoration in his eyes told a different story. In that moment, I believed it. I also believed the rumors I’d heard—about Bill Vance, the boy who defied the world, surrendering to Wendy in that deserted stairwell. The confession I had been holding in my heart, waiting for the right moment to share, would now have to be buried forever. When the music ended, I joined the applause for the radiant girl on stage. Bill shot up from his seat, probably on his way to find her. I got up too and slipped out of the auditorium. Outside, I lifted my hand, a small, gourd-shaped wooden charm dangling from a string on my wrist, twisting in the evening breeze. “Tessa… for you.” I remember staring at it, confused. “What is it?” A seven-year-old Bill, having learned the term “token of love” from some soap opera his aunt was watching, had pressed it into my hand. “It’s for you, Tessa. So you’ll only ever like me.” “And I’ll protect you forever.” A bitter sting pricked my eyes. I unhooked the charm from my wrist and clenched it in my fist. A child’s promise, so easily broken. But I had believed it. Bill Vance, the untamable rebel, had been the secret joy of my entire youth. … Wendy Summers had transferred this semester. She was beautiful, a talented dancer, and her arrival caused an immediate stir. The girls in my class used to whisper that Wendy was like the protagonist of a teen novel—the sweet new girl who captures the heart of the school's resident bad boy. The story always ends the same: the bad boy changes for the good girl. Plenty of guys were chasing after Wendy back then, and someone even joked that all she needed now was for Bill to fall for her too. Bill, who had been lounging lazily at his desk, just stretched and shot the speaker a dismissive look. "Her? Is she even worthy?" See? Such arrogance back then. I hadn't believed the rumors that they were together. I hadn't seen it with my own eyes or heard it from his own lips. I needed him to tell me he was with someone else. But now, I knew. It was time to pull back, to finally put some distance between us. I used to walk home with Bill every day. I can't remember when it started, but he began making excuses, telling me to go on ahead. He could have just told me the truth. I wouldn't have clung to him. After all, we were never really together in the first place. 2 On Sunday, we returned to school for the evening study hall, and homework was due. Bill was a notorious troublemaker. When the class representative came to collect his work, he’d just grunt, "Didn't do it." He used to listen to me, and everyone knew it. So whenever he pulled this stunt, they’d come and tattle to me. Tonight was no different, except they couldn't find Bill anywhere. He had bolted the second class ended, no doubt to find Wendy. "Tessa, Bill didn't do his homework again, and no one knows where he is. Could you…" "Just give the list of names to the teacher," I said, shaking my head with a faint smile. "And from now on, you don't need to tell me when he hasn't done his work." Hearing this, my classmates could only nod. The rumors about him having a girlfriend were starting to feel very real, and my attitude all but confirmed it. When the next class began, I buried my head in my exam papers. Before Wendy, my dream was for Bill and me to get into Brierfield University together. Now, my dream was just to get into Brierfield University. For myself. Bill didn't return for the entire study hall. The teacher at the front of the room frowned, asking where he was. Every eye in the classroom turned to me, but I never once looked up. He finally reappeared during the second period. He slumped into his seat without a word. It wasn't until a classmate told him the head teacher wanted to see him in the office that he snapped out of his daze. As he passed my desk, he paused for a fraction of a second. I didn't look up. I was wrestling with the final, killer question on the math paper, the one where I could always solve the first part but my brain would seize up on the second. After I finally worked it out, my deskmate leaned in, whispering cautiously, "What's going on with you and Bill?" "Nothing," I replied. "Really? But you used to get more worked up than anyone when he skipped class or blew off his homework." Her face was a mask of disbelief. I paused, then told her, "That was the past. I'm done looking out for him." "Oh," she gasped, covering her mouth. "So it's true… he's really dating Wendy Summers?" I lowered my eyes and said nothing. The bell for the end of the second study hall rang, and a few moments later, Bill sauntered back into the classroom. A small, folded note landed on my desk. "Go home without me after school." I read it, my expression neutral, then tucked it away and went back to my work. The classroom was a chaotic mess of noise and motion as everyone packed up to leave. I sat at my desk, slowly gathering my things. Suddenly, a hush fell over the room. My deskmate let out a small gasp, and I followed her gaze. Wendy was standing in the doorway. She tilted her head, gave Bill a playful crook of her finger, and then turned and walked away. My eyes, against my will, darted to Bill. A helpless smile played on his lips as he got up and followed her out. The classroom erupted. "Holy crap, it's actually true." "I used to think Bill and Tessa were the perfect pair, you know? The bad boy and the straight-A good girl. But the bad boy and the ballerina… that just hits different." "Don't be such a gossip. Still… don't you feel a little bad for Tessa?" "They've known each other since they were kids." "Guess it's true. The girl next door never stands a chance." … My deskmate bit her lip, looking like she wanted to comfort me. I slung my backpack over my shoulder. My heart felt like it was being ripped apart, but I forced a smile. I couldn't let a single tear fall. If anyone saw how upset I was, I’d be the laughingstock of the school by tomorrow. "I'm fine. Bill and I were always just friends," I said. "I'm heading out. See you tomorrow." Worry still lingered in her eyes as she waved. "See you. Get home safe." Once I was out of the noisy schoolyard, I gripped the straps of my backpack, my jaw clenched tight. But the tears came anyway, hot and unstoppable. A suffocating pain filled my chest. How could he fall for someone else, just like that? My vision blurred, and a boy's voice, clear and full of arrogant pride, echoed in my ears. "Bill Vance can do anything, and Tessa Shaw is the girl I'll protect for life." 3 "Tessa, why didn't you wait for me this morning?" Bill was late for school. After class, he strode over to my desk, his voice laced with a playful grievance, and set a carton of milk down in front of me. My hand, busy scribbling vocabulary words, froze. I glanced at the milk out of the corner of my eye. "I already ate. And I won't be walking with you in the mornings anymore. I'm coming to school earlier now." Bill slumped into the empty seat beside me, clearly confused. He propped his head on his hand. "I haven't done anything to piss you off lately, have I? We've always walked together." "Things are different now," I said, putting my pen down. I took a deep breath and forced a smile. "You have a girlfriend. We should keep our distance." His expression faltered for a moment before understanding dawned. "She won't mind. She knows that…" "I mind." My voice was quiet but firm. "I don't want to be the one they point fingers at if something goes wrong between you two." "Tessa…" Bill's temper was notoriously short. The fact that he'd even entertained this conversation was a miracle. His patience, always thin, had finally snapped. His face hardened. He shot to his feet, the legs of his chair screeching against the floor. "Fine. Whatever you want." I lowered my head, my eyes closing in silent resignation. I had spent all of last night on my balcony, the wind chilling me to the bone, wondering what to do. Should I keep playing the fool, hiding my feelings and staying by his side? Or should I let our lifelong friendship die right here? They say you can't hide the love in your eyes. If I kept following him around, it would be unfair to me, and it would be unfair to Wendy. No girlfriend wants another girl who’s way too close hanging around her boyfriend. After that day, Bill never spoke to me again. If we passed each other in the hall, he’d look straight through me. The girl who was always by his side was no longer me; it was Wendy. He introduced her to his entire circle of friends. Wendy was his first love. The girl he cherished. I focused on my studies, quietly listening, like everyone else, to the stories of their romance whispered through the school. When Wendy's stomach hurt from hunger in the middle of the night because of her strict dancer's diet, Bill would bring her low-fat dinners specially prepared by his family's nutritionist. When a jock from the rival high school cornered Wendy in an alley after school, Bill supposedly beat him so badly he ended up in the hospital. On this month's exams, I reclaimed my spot as the top student in our year. My teachers had always told me to stop worrying about Bill, that it was bad for my studies. Bill's family was wealthy; good grades were a luxury, not a necessity for him. That afternoon, as school let out, I rested my head on my hand and watched the spectacular sunset paint the sky. "Tessa, what college do you want to go to?" On a sweltering evening long ago, Bill had sat beside me, his long fingers toying with a strand of my hair as he asked the question nonchalantly. "Brierfield University," I'd answered without hesitation. "That's so far away." I never told him the real reason. Brierfield wasn't just a top-tier school; it was my escape. An escape from this city, and an escape from that house. My father was like so many men who find wealth—he found a new heart to go with it. My mother refused to divorce him, convinced it was her fault for not giving him a son. On her darkest nights, she would point a shaking finger at me, her voice a hysterical shriek, crying about why I couldn't have been a boy, then her husband wouldn't have strayed. Later, she did have a son. My father returned to the family, but only briefly. My mother, now with a son to dote on, poured all her attention into my little brother. She finally had her security, a son to care for her in her old age. "Hmm… well, I guess I'll have to go to Brierfield too. You're so clueless, you'd be a total mess without me there to look out for you." The bragging boy in front of me was the only light in my broken world. I desperately wanted to hold onto that light. I was willing to waste all my time on him. Even if I didn't get into Brierfield, as long as we ended up at the same college, that was enough. 4 A rumor started circulating that Wendy was a homewrecker who had stolen Bill from me. One afternoon, as my friend Maya and I were coming back from the restroom, Wendy ran past us, sobbing, her hand clapped over her mouth. Bill came charging after her, but when he saw me, he lunged, his hands closing around my throat. For a terrifying second, I thought he was going to kill me. "Tessa Shaw! I thought you wanted to stay away from me! What the hell is this now?" I choked, struggling for air. Maya frantically tried to push him away. "Are you crazy? We were just in the restroom! Let her go, she can't breathe!" Her words snapped him out of it. He yanked his hands back, and I collapsed, gasping for air. "You're disgusting, Tessa." "Tessa, are you okay?" I crouched on the floor, coughing, tears streaming down my face. Maya wrapped her arms around me, patting my back gently. "It's okay, Tessa. I don't know what's wrong with him and his psycho girlfriend." I wiped my tears, biting my lip to keep from sobbing. The raw hatred in Bill's eyes had been that of a complete stranger. He had looked like he genuinely wanted to strangle me. The boy from my memories was gone. Utterly gone. Later, a classmate cautiously passed me a phone under the desk. Someone had posted an anonymous message on the Crestwood Confessions page, accusing Wendy of being the "other woman" who had destroyed my relationship with Bill. A lot of people believed it. The comments were a firestorm of vicious insults directed at her. The marks on my neck were already turning a raw, angry red. I decided I would post a clarification on the page as soon as I got home. But I never got the chance. When I walked through the front door, my parents were sitting on the sofa, their faces grim. They were waiting for me. A knot of dread tightened in my stomach. A glass shattered at my feet. "What did you do at school to provoke Bill Vance?" my father roared, slamming his hand on the table, his eyes bulging. "Do you have any idea that our company's entire future depends on our partnership with the Vance Corporation? Are you trying to ruin me? Huh?!" I stood there, frozen, as my mother's shrill voice rained down insults, calling me a worthless daughter. My father demanded I go and apologize to Bill immediately. The sprawling, sterile villa felt like an icebox. I was shivering, cold to my very core. I don't remember how the interrogation ended, or how I was dragged over to Bill's house to apologize. I wanted to tell him I didn't write the post, but that I would clear it up. But when he opened the door and looked down at me, his eyes were glacial. The words died in my throat. I lowered my head, bowed, and apologized. He just gave me a detached glance, leaning against the doorframe. "I don't want to see you at school again, Tessa Shaw." My parents bobbed their heads, fawning and promising he would never have to lay eyes on me again. I lifted my head mechanically, staring at him. Under the cold, white light of the porch, I couldn't seem to make out his expression, couldn't even really see his face anymore. In that moment, my dignity was crushed, ground into the dust. It was then I finally realized we were never from the same world. We were never equals. The moon doesn't lower itself from the sky just because someone on the ground wishes for it. A moon in a well is just a reflection. It's all an illusion. And the kindness the young master had once shown me? It was nothing more than a passing whim of a privileged boy. I never should have let myself dream. It was all a mistake, right from the very beginning. That night, I packed my things while my parents made arrangements to transfer me to a new school. 5 It had been almost two weeks since I transferred. I was renting a small apartment near my new school. My parents, terrified Bill might see me and get angry again, had basically told me not to come home. Westwood and Crestwood. In the same city, but worlds apart. If you weren't looking for someone, you'd never find them. "Hey, Tessa Shaw. Come watch me play basketball today." The speaker was a boy in a black and white jersey, a playful glint in his sly, fox-like eyes. When I first arrived, a girl in my class had warned me about him. "That's Leo Sterling. He's as famous for being a player as he is for being handsome." The other students pretended to be busy with their own things, but I could feel their eyes on us. I'd lost count of how many times Leo had approached me over the past few weeks. They said this was the first time he’d ever chased a girl for this long. At our age, everyone secretly hoped for a dramatic campus love story, either for themselves or for someone they knew. They were already whispering that Leo, the playboy, was finally ready to settle down. But a player reformed is still a player at heart. And his past was messy. I shook my head gently. "I can't. I have homework." He glanced at the workbook on my desk and raised an eyebrow. "You know I've been trying to get you to go out with me for two weeks, right, Tessa Shaw?" "And?" He let out a soft chuckle. "So why do you keep saying no?" The classroom was nearly empty now. Outside, the sun was beginning its descent, painting half the sky in shades of fiery orange. I remembered something I'd read once: the evening breeze is free, the sunset is free, and I am one of a kind. "Tessa Shaw, you know, there's a very strange contradiction about you…" The sharp blast of a whistle from the basketball court cut through the twilight. I looked at him. He smirked. "It's this weird mix of… like, a deathly stillness and this fierce, stubborn spark." "It just makes me more interested." I shot him a cold look. "The game's starting," I reminded him. "It's against Crestwood High today," he said, his voice a low, meaningful murmur. As if anyone cared. I looked back down at my textbook. He clicked his tongue in annoyance and walked away. Once he was gone, I glanced up at the silent clock on the wall. That post on the Confessions page… I had a pretty good guess who had written it. But what did he stand to gain from it? Unlike Crestwood, Westwood High cut the power to the classrooms on the dot. At six-thirty, the lights went out, leaving only the fading glow of the sunset. I packed my bag and headed downstairs. A gentle breeze rustled through the crabapple trees, sending a shower of petals to the ground. They scattered, then were swept away by the wind. I stood there for a a moment, watching them go. My short life felt a lot like those petals—powerless, adrift. "Hey, isn't that Tessa Shaw?" The voice pulled me from my thoughts. I was about to walk away when they blocked my path. Two familiar faces, looking stunned to see me here. I knew them from when I used to trail after Bill; they were his friends. We'd always gotten along well enough. They were both holding bottles of water, probably just coming from the campus store. "Tessa, you really transferred here?" I glanced at him, not quite understanding the emphasis on "really," but I nodded. The one with the slicked-back hair nudged his friend. "Look, Tessa, you and Bill grew up together. He's here today for the game. This is the perfect chance for you two to clear up the misunderstanding." Everyone seemed to think I was incapable of doing something so spiteful. Everyone except Bill, the one person who should have known me best. "There's no…" Before I could finish, a cold voice cut through the air from a short distance away. "Does it take you two that long to buy water? Or are you just going to stand there talking to irrelevant people?" Bill stood there, his gaze sweeping over me with a dark, dismissive glint, as if I were a complete stranger. His friends looked at me, embarrassed and awkward. I managed a small smile. "I should get going. See you." "Yeah, okay. See ya."
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