Reborn, I decided to write my brother’s name on the marriage application. This time, I would give Cathy what she always wanted. This time, I would be the one to dress my brother in the groom’s suit, to place the engagement ring on his finger. I would personally orchestrate every one of their “fateful” encounters. When she took him to the capital, I wouldn’t say a word. I would pack my bags and head south, to a university by the sea. I was doing this because in my last life, even when I was past fifty, she and our son were still on their knees, begging me for a divorce. Begging me to finally let her and my brother be together. Reborn, all I wanted was to spread my wings and fly, far away from the tangled mess of love. 1. “Just fill in the name and give it to me.” Cathy tapped her manicured nails impatiently on the table. I stared down at the marriage application, my fingertips tracing the rough edge of the paper. My mind drifted. In my last life, I had treated this document like a sacred decree, reverently writing my own name before dragging a reluctant Cathy out to buy wedding candies. I’d been met with a torrent of abuse for my trouble, all because she was in a hurry to get home and make soup for my "sickly" younger brother, Michael. “I know, I know,” I mumbled, feigning compliance. I glanced up, taking in her antsy expression, the way her eyes kept flicking to her watch. She was wearing a crisp, white shirtdress, the sleeves rolled up to her elbows, revealing slender forearms. I remembered how Michael had always loved her in this outfit, saying it made her look clean and fresh. “If you’re busy, you can go ahead,” I said, forcing a casual tone to mask the bitterness rising in my throat. “I can turn this in myself when I’m done.” Relief washed over her face, and her voice softened. “Look, since we’re getting married, I will be responsible for you,” she said, as if granting a great favor. “But you need to stop being so jealous of Michael. It’s not good for his reputation if people find out.” I said nothing. In my past life, I had explained myself a thousand times, but in her eyes, I was always the petty, jealous older brother, incapable of tolerating my kind, gentle sibling. She didn’t wait for a response, just turned and hurried away. I took a deep breath, trying to calm the frantic beating of my heart. The memories of my past life flooded back, a relentless tide. On our wedding night, she used the excuse of taking care of a sick Michael to stay out all night. When she was assigned a post in the capital with the military, she took only Michael with her, saying he’d never seen the city before. Even on the day our own son turned one month old, Cathy was too busy consoling a newly divorced Michael to show up. Right up until the end, on my deathbed, our son was still pleading with me. “Dad, just divorce Mom. You’ve never been as good as Uncle Michael. Mom has suffered by your side for so many years. Just let her go.” I looked over at my wife, standing cold and silent by my hospital bed. Her silence was all the confirmation I needed. I bit down hard on my lip, not letting go until I tasted the coppery tang of blood. No. Not this life. I would not make the same mistakes. I picked up the pen, and in the space for the applicant’s name, I slowly, deliberately, wrote two words: Michael Shaw. Cathy, since you love him so much, your wish is my command. I handed the completed application to the clerk, took the marriage certificate, and walked out of the city hall. I wasn’t sad. Instead, I felt an exhilarating, unfamiliar sense of freedom. 2. In my last life, Michael and I were adopted by Cathy’s family after our parents died in the line of duty. Michael, with his sweet talk and clever ways, had charmed Cathy’s parents until they treated him better than their own son. Cathy’s mother had long harbored the desire for Michael to marry her daughter. But Michael, with a simple, “I don’t want to compete with my brother,” had magnanimously stepped aside, paving the way for Cathy to marry me. In reality, he was just keeping her on the hook. At the time, Cathy was just an ordinary soldier; he was waiting for a better prospect to come along. I went to the local high school, got all the information I needed about university applications, tuition, and living expenses. Only then did I head back. When I stepped into the apartment provided for Cathy’s military family, I heard Michael’s soft voice. “Cathy, he’s going to be angry, isn’t he? You running back to be with me instead of him.” “It doesn’t matter when I spend time with him,” Cathy’s voice was firm. “You’re not well. I can’t leave you here alone.” Michael laughed, a happy, boyish sound. Then his tone turned wistful. “Will you still be nice to me after you and my brother get married?” “Of course,” Cathy said without hesitation. “Who else would I be nice to? If your brother ever mistreats you, I’ll divorce him in a heartbeat.” I clenched my fists so tightly my knuckles turned white, fighting back a wave of heartache. Even in this new life, hearing my wife speak of me with such casual disregard still hurt. I composed myself and walked into the room as if I had heard nothing. 3. Cathy emerged from Michael’s room, a faint blush on her cheeks. “I… I was just checking on Michael. He wasn’t feeling well.” I gave a noncommittal grunt and turned to go to my own room. In my last life, I had fought with her endlessly over their overly familiar behavior. This life, I refused to waste the energy. “Jasper,” she called out, stopping me. “Maybe we should buy some wedding candies to share with the neighbors in the complex?” I shot her a surprised look. This must be her way of compensating for my lack of a jealous outburst. “No need,” I said flatly. “There’s no point in such formalities.” She blinked, clearly taken aback. She couldn’t imagine me refusing such a proposal. “Is it because you’re mad at Cathy for taking care of me, brother?” Michael appeared from his room, his face a perfect picture of innocence and hurt. And he was wearing the Lenin-style suit I had specifically bought to wear for our wedding photos. I had scrimped and saved for six months to afford it in my past life. I’d never even worn it once. He followed my gaze and stammered an explanation. “I saw this suit on your bed today, brother. I thought it looked nice, so I tried it on. I… I forgot to take it off.” He hung his head, wringing his hands like a chastised child. Cathy started to intervene. “Jasper, don’t…” I cut her off, my voice calm. “It suits you. You can have it. I’ve never worn it anyway.” I could smell the faint, sour scent of sweat and something else—something metallic, like blood—on the fabric. The thought of it now made my stomach turn. Leaving them staring in stunned silence, I went to my room and locked the door. 4. I pulled out a folder. Inside was my acceptance letter to Havenport University, in the south. I had always loved the south. And it was for my favorite subject, economics. In my last life, I gave up my education for Cathy, willingly staying home to take care of her and her family. This time, thank God, it wasn't too late. This time, I was going to live for myself. I checked the calendar. Ten days. Ten days until I could leave this place for good. Time was short, and I had to make every second count. A knock on the door. I opened it, annoyed. Cathy stood there, holding a bowl of noodles, her voice soft. “You must be hungry. I made you some noodles.” For a second, I was disoriented. In my past life, she was either ice-cold or spitting venom at me. This gentle, caring Cathy was a ghost I hadn’t seen in a very long time. “No, thanks. I ate out.” “You did? But you never spend money on things like that.” Her words stung. It was true. I used to be frugal to a fault, spending every penny I earned from odd jobs on her, buying her things. Now, with university looming, every cent had to be carefully accounted for. I met her eyes, my voice even. “A few days ago, I gave you fifty dollars to buy things for the wedding. You didn’t seem to buy anything. I’d like it back.” She froze, then stammered, “That money… I used it to buy Michael a pair of leather shoes.” I couldn’t help but sneer inwardly. Of course. It was always the same. “If there’s nothing else, I’m going to bed.” “I’ll give you the money tomorrow,” she snapped, her tone turning hostile. “We’re husband and wife. Do you really have to be so petty?” A cold laugh escaped me. “So, I’m not even allowed to be petty when you use my hard-earned money to buy things for another man?” She knew she was in the wrong, but she still muttered, “Unbelievable,” under her breath. I was done arguing. I slammed the door in her face. 5. Over the next few days, I started selling off my possessions. The mementos from my past life, once filled with cherished memories, now seemed like cheap, worthless junk. I bundled them all up and sold them to a scrap collector for a pittance. As I was packing my suitcase that afternoon, Cathy appeared, fifty dollars clutched in her hand. “Here’s your money,” she said, her voice stiff. I took it and nodded. “Thanks.” She watched me, her expression complicated, her eyes falling on my half-packed suitcase. “I’m planning on having Michael come with me to the capital first. You don’t need to pack.” I didn’t stop what I was doing. I just nodded again. She seemed unnerved by my placid attitude. “What’s wrong with you lately? You’re like a different person.” I turned to her, my patience wearing thin. I didn’t want any last-minute complications. Cathy didn’t love me, but if she found out the marriage license had Michael’s name on it, she might just drag me back to the city hall to fix it, all for his sake. I wanted nothing more to do with either of them. “It’s nothing. Just clearing things out,” I lied. “After you leave for the capital, I thought I’d move back to the countryside.” She visibly relaxed. “I’m not trying to leave you behind,” she explained. “It’s just… Michael’s never seen the capital, and he really wants to go. Once I get settled, I’ll send for you in a few months.” I nodded absently. In my last life, she never sent for me. Not for eight long years. Not until Michael married a high-ranking officer’s daughter and broke her heart. Only then did she summon me to the capital. She looked at me, uneasy. Usually, when we were alone, I would be the one chattering away. Now, my silence seemed to make her anxious. “You’ve always wanted to take wedding photos, haven’t you? Let’s go to the studio tomorrow.” No way. I had plans to buy supplies for university tomorrow. I was about to make an excuse when Michael walked in, draping his arm familiarly around Cathy’s shoulders. “Cathy, what photo studio? I want to take pictures too!” Cathy smiled, ruffling his hair. “Okay, we’ll all go together tomorrow.” “You two go,” I said. “I have something to do.” Cathy frowned. “What could be more important than our wedding photos? We’ll go first, then I’ll help you with whatever you need to buy.” Her tone was firm, leaving no room for argument. Michael chimed in. “Yeah, brother. You’re not trying to avoid going because of me, are you?” I didn’t want to argue. I just nodded. 6. Early the next morning, I could hear Cathy in Michael’s room, coaxing him to get out of bed in a low, sweet voice. The bright red number on the calendar screamed at me. Four days left. Four days until I was free. By the time they finally emerged, my patience was worn thin. Cathy bustled around, fetching hot water, personally washing Michael’s face for him. I must have been blind in my past life to ever believe that if I just married her, she would one day treat me with such tenderness. As I was lost in thought, Cathy approached me awkwardly, a small ring pinched between her fingers. “Mrs. Zhou said it’s fashionable to exchange rings now. I bought one for you.” I didn’t take it. There was no ring in my last life. Michael saw it and immediately pouted. “That’s so nice! I want one too!” I magnanimously gestured. “Then you can have it.” Cathy’s face darkened. “Don’t be ridiculous, this is our wedding ring!” Michael snatched the ring, slipped it onto his own finger, and waggled it at Cathy. “Cathy, doesn’t it look good on me?” Cathy’s expression melted into one of pure adoration. She smiled and nodded. Then, she turned to me, her voice a guilty whisper. “I’ll… I’ll buy you another one next time.” I just nodded, unfazed. I had heard her promises before. None of them ever came true.
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