In the third month of the cold war with my A-list actor boyfriend, we were invited onto a reality show and told to call the person we love most. Out of spite, he called his assistant, Hannah. The internet went wild. I dialed an unknown number, a call to my mother in another world. The internet ridiculed me. Hamilton sneered. “You’re an orphan. What mother? You’re so pathetic you’d hire an actress to play your own mom.” I said nothing. As he watched me with that mocking expression, I ran to the window and jumped. The System had just told me. All I had to do was die in this world. Then I could finally go home and be with my mom again. 1. “To stoop so low you’d hire an actress to play your own mom… you have no shame.” Host, if the body in this world dies, you can return home. The two voices echoed in my mind at the same time. I stared blankly ahead, lost for a moment. Hamilton, however, thought I was looking at him and let out a contemptuous laugh. “What’s wrong? Don’t tell me you don’t have a single person you love most? Are you that much of a failure?” His words triggered a wave of laughter from the crew. I was the only one not laughing. He wasn’t wrong. Ever since I arrived in this world and accepted the mission to win him over, my life had revolved around him. To complete the mission as quickly as possible and get back home to cure my mother, I never had time to make friends. I could only rely on him. I was like a fragile vine, clinging to him for survival. The internet had even dubbed me “the world’s clingiest girlfriend.” During the years he loved me most, Hamilton would hold me and make promises. “Anya, I’ll be with you for the rest of our lives. We’ll never be apart.” I believed him. Until the first time I walked in on him and Hannah kissing. He’d explained it away impatiently, his eyes fixed on Hannah’s flushed cheeks. “It was just a dare from a game, can you stop being so paranoid? There’s nothing between us. Don’t make it sound so sordid.” We had a huge fight. Then, three months ago, I found them again, emerging from the bathroom together in bathrobes. I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. He didn’t even bother with an explanation this time. Instead, he deliberately wrapped his arm around Hannah. “All you do is argue, argue, argue. Can’t you learn to be sweet and obedient like Hannah?” In that moment, I finally understood. It was over. This mission… I couldn’t do it anymore. Fortunately, the System didn’t force me to continue. It readily agreed to cancel the mission and even promised to uphold its end of the bargain: to cure my mother. With that, I had nothing left to hold me back. The System’s voice echoed in my mind again. Host, your mother asked me to tell you that she misses you very much. A sharp pang hit my nose, and my eyes instantly welled with tears. That’s right. I did have someone I loved. My mom. And I missed her so, so much. “I want… to go home,” I mumbled, my voice choked with emotion. Hamilton froze, a flicker of remorse in his eyes, but his words were still sharp. “Anya, your acting skills are getting better and better…” I pretended not to hear him. I stood up and walked quickly toward the window. Amid the panicked shouts of the crew and the crash of falling camera equipment, I leaped from the windowsill. I was done with Hamilton. I was done with our five years together. I just wanted to go home. 2. I woke to the sterile smell of antiseptic. For a moment, I thought I’d made it back. But before the joy could even register, a familiar voice shattered my hope. Unfortunately, I hadn’t died. “Anya, you’re going to threaten me with suicide just because I called Hannah? All I did was say a few words to you! And you were the one who started the fight!” “If you really wanted to die, you should have picked a higher floor! A three-story fall won’t kill you. What’s with the act?” Hamilton’s eyes were bloodshot. I stared at him, stunned into silence. Before I could speak, the door opened and Hannah rushed in, her face streaked with tears, looking as if she might collapse at any moment. “Anya, I’m so sorry. Hamilton was just trying to get a rise out of you, to make you jealous. That’s the only reason he called me. I’ll disappear. I won’t bother you two ever again.” With that, she gave Hamilton a look filled with sorrow and reluctance, then turned to leave. She’d only taken a few steps before Hamilton grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. His expression was grim. “This isn’t your fault. Why are you leaving? Don’t cry. I’ll have Anya clear your name.” He turned back to me, his gaze turning to ice. “Anya, because your little stunt was broadcast live, Hannah is being crucified online. You have to make a statement and explain that she’s innocent. She doesn’t deserve to be dragged into your mess.” He continued, his voice hardening. “Everywhere she goes, people are calling her a homewrecker because of what you did. You need to apologize to her. You were in the wrong this time, and I’m not going to enable you.” I almost wanted to laugh. But none of this drama mattered anymore. I tossed my phone to him, my face a mask of calm. “Fine. Post whatever you want.” My voice was flat. “I just want to go home now.” The System immediately responded: Soon, Host. Very soon. I closed my eyes again, shutting them out. “Get out. Both of you, get out.” 3. Hamilton hesitated for a moment, but he didn’t leave. He expertly unlocked my phone and quickly typed out a clarification statement. When he handed the phone back, his eyes were clouded with a complex emotion. “Anya, after all these years, your lock screen is still that same photo.” I didn’t speak, just glanced at the screen. It was a picture of Hamilton and me holding a birthday cake, our smiles radiant and full of love. I felt a pang of nostalgia. Back then, he wasn’t a famous actor. He was running from audition to audition, working as an extra. For my birthday, he’d scraped together all his money to buy me an expensive, beautiful cake. “Anya, thank you for sticking with me,” he had said. “From now on, I’ll buy you the most beautiful, most expensive cake every year. We have to be together forever.” He became famous and kept his promise. But somewhere along the way, the cakes and gifts became cold and sharp. They no longer tasted sweet. All that was left was a lingering, bitter aftertaste. I spent a week in the hospital, my mind consumed with finding another way to die. The day I was discharged, Hamilton came to pick me up. A crowd of his fans had gathered at the entrance. They started shouting the moment they saw me. “Go to hell, Anya! Why didn’t you just die when you jumped?” “Such a manipulative, green-tea bitch!” “And you have the nerve to slander Hannah? You’re the real homewrecker! Who knows how many producers you slept with to get where you are!” The words went in one ear and out the other. After all these years, I was used to it. Hamilton always thought I was strong, good-tempered, and resilient. He’d praised my thick skin more than once. The truth was, I was just numb from the pain. So hurt that my face no longer showed it. We finally managed to shake the fans, and Hamilton’s car pulled up in front of me. The passenger window rolled down, revealing Hannah’s slightly flushed face. “Anya, hurry, get in! Your haters will be back any second. Don’t get us caught in the crossfire, haha.” She stuck her tongue out, grinning like a cat that had gotten the cream. Hamilton wasn’t angry at all. He just smiled at Hannah, his eyes filled with an unconscious softness. The passenger seat, once exclusively mine, had been redecorated. It was now filled with small cosmetics, a makeup mirror, and Hannah’s favorite bunny-eared plushie and snacks. These were all things Hamilton had forbidden me from bringing into his car. He’d claimed they could damage the interior or be misinterpreted by the paparazzi. Looking at it now, I realized the truth. It was never about the car. It was about who he loved. But it didn’t matter. I took two steps back, hailed a taxi, and went back to the small apartment I was renting. 4. I sold most of my belongings and donated the money to a charity for underprivileged children. Just as I was preparing to slit my wrists with a shard of porcelain, the doorbell rang. Hamilton stood outside, his face dark, with a red-eyed Hannah trailing behind him. “Anya, are you determined to keep fighting with me? I honestly don’t understand what I did to upset you this time!” He let out a sigh, his gaze heavy as he looked at me, a hint of helplessness in his eyes. “Fine. It’s your birthday today, so I won’t argue with you. I bought you a cake. I came to celebrate with you.” Hannah blushed and stammered out a “Happy Birthday.” My gaze, however, was fixed on the necklace she was wearing. Hannah touched it, a sweet smile on her face. “Hamilton gave it to me. I liked it the moment I saw it. He said it was just a little trinket, so he let me have it.” Hamilton nodded, walking into the room and sitting down as if he owned the place. “It was old anyway. It was just sitting around. If Hannah likes it, she can have it. Besides, I never really liked it.” I froze, stunned for a moment. That was a matching couple’s necklace we had bought when we first got together. It was only a few hundred dollars, not particularly fancy, but he had treasured it. “I’m going to keep this forever! It’s a symbol of our love, it’s special. If I ever lose it, you can punish me by never letting me see you again, okay?” Every year on his birthday, he would wear that necklace with me. Last year, he stopped. I didn’t ask why. I just never imagined it would end up around Hannah’s neck. 5. When the cake box was opened, Hamilton froze, a flicker of panic in his eyes. I stopped his hand as he tried to close the lid. I saw the four words written in frosting: Happy Wedding. Happy wedding, to Hamilton and Hannah. “They… they must have made a mistake. Anya, you’re not angry, are you? It’s just a cake. We can just scrape the words off.” Hannah’s face paled, but when Hamilton wasn’t looking, her eyes were filled with a triumphant provocation. “Anya, I’m so sorry. I messed up. It’s my fault for not giving the baker clear instructions. I’m so, so sorry. I really didn’t mean for this to happen.” She started to cry, her shoulders shaking. The guilt on Hamilton’s face vanished, replaced by a wave of protectiveness. He gently wiped her tears away, murmuring soft, comforting words. When he saw that I wasn’t speaking, his expression soured. “Anya! Hannah is already crying, why are you being so cold? It’s just a cake! I can just buy you another one.” “Can you stop being so petty? Besides, wasn’t it your little suicide stunt that got her harassed online in the first place? She’s already emotionally fragile, and she made the effort to come celebrate with you. Why do you have to be so difficult?” I rubbed my temples, weary. My heart felt nothing. Hamilton was right. It was just a cake. A flawed one. But was the cake the only thing that was flawed? “Hamilton, let’s break up.” He stood frozen, staring at me in disbelief. I didn’t wait for him to respond. My face was pale, my voice weak. “I’m going home. We won’t be seeing each other again. I wish you two a long and happy life together.” Crash. The water glass slipped from Hamilton’s hand and shattered on the floor. He just stood there, stunned, searching my face for any sign that I was lying. Finally, his voice came out, raw and hoarse. “Go home? Where would you go besides my place? You don’t have a home! Anya, can you stop this? You have no parents, no family, where could you possibly go?” “If you don’t want to apologize, just say so. I won’t force you. But you can’t just throw the word ‘breakup’ around like it’s nothing!” I shook my head weakly. My body was growing heavy, my vision blurring at the edges. Panic finally seized him. Just as I was about to collapse, he rushed forward and caught me in his arms. In his haste, he kicked over the black trash can. The pool of blood I had already let spilled out, staining the floor crimson. My arm, with its freshly cut wrist, slammed onto the hard floor, sending a jolt of pain through me. “Ah! Blood! So much blood!” Hannah shrieked. “Anya! Are you insane?! Anya, who told you to kill yourself! What kind of sick game are you playing now! ANYA!” His voice was fading. Hamilton. Let’s never meet again. Not in this lifetime, or the next.
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