1 By the time I got to Jackson’s place, he opened the door bleary-eyed, still wrestling with sleep. I just stood there on his doorstep. "We're done." Jackson blinked, the fog of sleep vanishing from his face. "Babe, what did I do wrong this time?" "You didn't answer my call," I said, my voice flat. A relieved laugh escaped him. He reached for my hand like he always did. "I was up late gaming with the guys, that's all. I slept in and didn't hear it. I'm sorry. To make it up to you, let me get dressed and I'll take you to that new Thai place you've been wanting to try. How about it?" Seven years together, and he still thought this was just another one of my moods. I pulled my hand away, his touch feeling alien. "No, thanks. I'm leaving." He never took me seriously. If that was the case, then I didn't want him anymore. "Just because I missed one call this morning?" Jackson grabbed my wrist, his grip tightening. "Lucy, come on, don't be like this." "I swear it wasn't on purpose. I told you I got that new game, we just lost track of time." I wrenched my arm free. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let go." He persisted, his voice pleading. "You don't want Thai? Okay, what about that new upscale steakhouse at the Galleria? We could go there. I just bought that new Fujifilm camera you wanted…" I looked straight at him. "I don't want it anymore." Jackson froze. Just then, Chloe emerged from the guest room, drowning in one of his oversized pajama shirts. "Jax, what's all the noise? You woke me up." I stared at the freshly-woken Chloe, and a bitter smile touched my lips. So this was Jackson’s "best friend." The female one. The same one who’d sent me a deliberately ambiguous photo, designed to make me think she and Jackson had slept together. Chloe padded over to me, a sickly-sweet smile on her face. "Lucy, hey. What's going on?" Jackson rubbed his temples, a weary sigh escaping him. "She's mad I missed her call." Chloe’s mouth formed a perfect 'O' of fake surprise. She quickly looped her arm through mine, her touch cloying. "Oh, Lucy, don't be mad at him! Jax and I were gaming all night, I swear. The servers for the new expansion just opened, and I was so hyped I basically forced him to pull an all-nighter with me. He really didn't mean to miss your call…" "We're not that close," I said, pulling my arm from her grasp. I turned my gaze back to Jackson. "Did you change the keypad code?" He frowned, clearly confused. I repeated myself, my voice sharp. "The code for your front door, Jackson. You changed it. I couldn't get in." "No, I didn't," he denied instantly. "It's always been our anniversary…" My eyes flicked to Chloe. Right on cue, she chimed in. "Oh, that was me, Jax. Remember when you had the guys over for that party last week? Most of them don't know Lucy, so I just changed it to something simple for the night. It's not a big deal, we can just change it back. Lucy, you're being a little sensitive, don't you think?" Jackson sighed and looked at Chloe, a hint of frustration in his voice. "Chloe, Lucy's not as laid-back as you are. She's more sensitive, and these things matter to her. You should apologize." I let out a sharp, mocking laugh and took a step back. "Oh, no, please don't. God forbid I'm not as 'chill' as your best friend. A friend who your other friends don't even know, yet they all know how close you two are. She shows up with her console, and you not only let her in, you let her spend the night. She can even change the damn code to your apartment. You know what, Jackson? Why don't you two just move in together? Get married. I'll even come to the wedding and toast to your happiness. How does that sound?" "Lucy, that's crossing a line," Jackson's brows furrowed. He took a step forward, instinctively shielding Chloe behind him. "Chloe and I have been friends for years. If something was going to happen, it would have happened a long time ago. Why are you making a scene now? We were up late, I couldn't just kick her out in the middle of the night. Besides, she slept in the guest room. You're being aggressive. And she's right, it's just a passcode. We can change it back." If something was going to happen, it would have happened by now. What a classic line. I swallowed the lump of acid rising in my throat and stared him down. "So you do remember she's a girl." Jackson flinched. Without another word, I turned and walked away. Behind me, I heard Chloe's voice, dripping with faux concern. "Jax, she's so upset. Aren't you going to go after her?" "It's fine," Jackson's voice, though not loud, cut through the air like glass. "We're about to get engaged. She's just blowing off steam. She'll cool down in a bit. It's not a big deal." He had no idea I was already preparing my applications to study abroad. I wasn't coming back. 2 Back at the small apartment I shared with a roommate, I started packing. "Lucy? Are you finally moving in with Jackson?" My roommate, hearing the commotion, poked her head out of her room. "Aww, so you're really not renewing the lease? I'm so happy for you guys! You deserve all the happiness!" For a second, I felt a wave of dizziness. She was right. Everyone knew how in love we were. I’d told my roommate that as soon as our lease was up, I was moving in with him. Everyone expected us to walk down the aisle. My hands stilled on a pile of clothes. "No," I said, my voice hollow. "We broke up." My roommate stared at me, her jaw slack. "What? Why? You and Jackson were campus couple goals! What happened?" "I don't love him anymore," I replied, the words feeling both simple and impossibly heavy. "That makes no sense," she argued, confused. "Jackson's handsome, and he was so good to you. He memorized all your favorite things, he went to concerts and art exhibits with you… he would do anything for you. I remember that one time you got your period and I was out of town, and he drove through a torrential downpour at midnight just to take care of you. He was just texting me the other day, asking if there was anything special you wanted lately. How could you just… stop loving him?" How could I? Maybe it was because she was talking about the Jackson of the past. The boy who held me in the palm of his hand, who shielded me from the world. Not the man who now stood in front of me, accusing me of being aggressive to protect his "best friend." It was just that simple. A bitter smile twisted my lips. "Maybe... maybe it's just because he didn't answer my call this morning." Seeing that I didn't want to elaborate, my roommate sighed and dropped the subject. A moment later, she held up her phone, her expression cautious. "Was it… because of Chloe?" She showed me her screen. It was Chloe's latest social media post—a photo dump from her gaming session with Jackson. The centerpiece was a cozy selfie of the two of them, Chloe's head practically resting on Jackson's shoulder. They were both holding controllers, grinning like they didn't have a care in the world. The other pictures were a gallery of their in-game achievements: completed boss battles, high rankings on the new server leaderboards. It was clear they'd had a successful night. The comment section was a chorus of praise from Jackson's friends. "Damn, Chloe, you're a beast! That clear speed is insane." "Only Jax can keep up with Chloe's skill level. I'm still stuck on the first boss. Chloe, you gotta carry me sometime! Or get Jax to, lol." "Is it just me or are Chloe and Jax themselves a power couple? Look at them. Total GOATs." To any outsider, it would look like Chloe and Jackson were the ones who had been in a loving, seven-year relationship, on the verge of engagement. As I closed my suitcase, my roommate started fuming at the comments. "Seriously? Is Jackson blind? How can he not see how messed up it is for her to post pictures like that? And his friends? They're clearly shipping them! Where does that leave you?" "That gaming console," I added, my voice eerily calm, "was a birthday present I gave him." And then the final nail: "The night before last, he promised me he would set boundaries with her." "I get it now," my roommate said, her voice soft with worry. She wrapped her arms around me in a gentle hug. "Lucy, we don't need a man like that. But your lease is up soon. Where are you going to stay?" "I'll stay with my aunt for a bit," I said, forcing a smile. "It's perfect timing, actually. I can quit my job and finally go abroad for my master's." I looked at her, trying to project a confidence I didn't feel. "Don't worry about me. With my resume, I can find a job anywhere." She sighed. "You're right about that. You only took that corporate job to follow Jackson anyway. We all thought you'd go for your Ph.D., your research skills are top-tier. Just… promise you'll take care of yourself. Call me if you need anything. I'll always be in your corner." "I will," I nodded. Just then, my phone buzzed. A text from Jackson. "Babe, are you feeling any better? I ordered you some fried chicken and bubble tea. Please don't be mad at me anymore? [puppy_eyes.gif]" I stared at the message for a long time. Then, I blocked his number and deleted him from every app on my phone. 3 After a quick hello to my aunt and dropping off my luggage, I took a cab back to my old university. I needed to pick up my transcripts, both in English and Chinese. But I was also there to say goodbye. I walked along the newly resurfaced running track, the sounds of undergrads laughing and chatting around me a ghostly echo of my own past. Then, I saw them. The two people I wanted to see least in the world. Jackson and Chloe. Chloe was clinging possessively to Jackson’s arm. The moment she saw me, her face split into a brilliant, triumphant smile. "Lucy! You're here too?" Jackson rushed over. "What are you doing back on campus? I was just about to call you. The delivery guy said you never picked up the food." I gave him a cold glance, my eyes landing pointedly on Chloe’s hand wrapped around his bicep. He finally registered it, awkwardly pulling his arm away. "Chloe said she wanted to see my alma mater, so I was just showing her around." "Yeah, I was always so sad I never got to see where Jax spent his college years," Chloe cooed, sidling closer. "We're just best buds, you know? We're so used to being like this. You don't mind, do you, Lucy?" The sight of her made me feel sick. I turned to leave. But Jackson grabbed my arm, his voice laced with a new, wounded tone. "Lucy, are you still mad? I know you're upset, but I bought you that bag you wanted. Please, just forgive me. I promise I'll never, ever miss your call again." He pulled a chic, expensive-looking box from his backpack. It was the latest design from a luxury brand, the exact one I’d mentioned wanting in a passing comment on my Instagram story a few weeks ago. A flood of memories washed over me. The college version of Jackson was always like this. He remembered every little thing I mentioned offhandedly. He tracked my cycle better than I did. Every time he made me angry, he would write me long, heartfelt apology texts. He’d spend his last dollar on flowers and gifts to win me back. When I was too lazy to eat breakfast, he'd wake up early to bring me something, worried about my stomach. When I was sad and stayed up all night, he’d stay up with me, just listening. I’d once asked him why he didn’t just tell me to go to sleep, and he’d said my feelings came first. His gentleness and devotion were what made me fall for him. They were also what made me forgive him, time and time again, after Chloe came into the picture. "Jax worked so hard to find this bag for you," Chloe announced suddenly, her voice smug. She clapped him on the shoulder. "We had to check three different stores! In the end, I helped him pick this color. It suits you perfectly, right?" My head snapped up. "You picked it?" Jackson nodded, smiling. "Yeah, Chloe's always had great taste." Chloe took that as her cue, draping her arm around Jackson's neck. "You know it! My taste is impeccable." Jackson responded by wrapping an arm around her waist, and the two of them shared a laugh, completely at ease. The image was a needle straight to my eye. "Jackson," my voice trembled. "Do you remember what you said on our first date?" He looked blank. "What?" "You said, 'Lucy's gifts have to be picked out by me, and only me, because only I know what she truly loves.'" I threw the gift box at his chest. "What about now?" The box fell to the ground, popping open and revealing the beautiful, expensive handbag inside. "I…" Chloe’s face soured. "What's that supposed to mean, Lucy? I was just trying to help, and now I'm the bad guy?" "Shut up!" I snapped, cutting her off. "I'm talking to Jackson. This has nothing to do with you." Jackson frowned. "Lucy, don't be like that. Chloe's my friend. At least show her some respect." "Friend?" I scoffed. "Since Chloe came back, how many times has she dragged you away, saying she 'missed her old buddy'? The last time we had a date night, you abandoned me in the middle of a restaurant because she called. And now, you let her sleep over at your house. I'll say it again: if you two get married, don't send me an invitation. The thought of it makes me sick." People were starting to stop and stare. "That time, I managed to get us VIP tickets to see Jax's favorite esports team! All the other guys were there too!" Chloe retorted, her lip trembling. "Jax, I even told you to buy her flowers afterwards! I thought you two had made up!" "The flowers from that night… you picked those out too?" A tremor ran through my entire body. I had been furious that night. It was the first time I'd truly questioned his feelings for me. But Jackson had come back groveling, a huge bouquet of flowers in hand, and spent half the night convincing me he was sorry. And because I knew how much that match meant to him, how much he loved that player, I forgave him. "Well, duh," Chloe said, preening. "You really think a clueless guy like Jax could pick out something so perfect on his own? Lucy, ever since I got back, I've helped him pick out every single one of your gifts." I stared at Jackson, my world tilting on its axis. "I saw that you liked the things Chloe picked, so I didn't think much of it," he mumbled, refusing to meet my eyes. He reached for me. "Lucy, let's go somewhere private and talk. There are too many people here." "No need." I slapped his hand away and took a deep, shuddering breath. "Jackson, you make me sick." The early winter wind bit at my cheeks, but I couldn't feel the cold. I just walked, putting one foot in front of the other, moving away from him. Jackson didn't come after me. 4 I don't know how long I walked before a gentle voice called out from behind me. "Lucy Su?" I turned. It was Liam Yuan, Jackson's old college roommate. We’d been in the same student club freshman year and bonded over a shared love for literature. We could have been good friends, but after I started dating Jackson, we both deliberately kept our distance, and eventually, we lost touch completely. "It really is you," he said, jogging down the steps toward me. "Long time no see." "I remember you. Jackson's roommate," I said, reflexively tying him to Jackson, avoiding his eyes. "What are you doing here?" "I'm a teaching assistant for the economics department now," he said, his gaze soft. "And you? Back to get some documents?" I nodded, a sudden sting behind my eyes. Liam noticed my distress but didn't press. He glanced at his watch. "Do you want to grab a coffee?" I hesitated for a moment. "Okay." "I heard you're planning to go abroad for your master's," he said as soon as we sat down. I was surprised. "How did you know?" "The professors in the department were talking about it," he said, adjusting his glasses. "Professor Zhang was disappointed to see you go. He said you could have easily stayed for the Ph.D. program." I stared into my cup, stirring the dark liquid. "Some things… require a change of scenery." Liam didn't pry. Instead, he pulled a folder from his bag. "I put together some information on a few universities. Considering your research focus, I think these might be a good fit for you." I opened the folder. It wasn't just a list of schools. It contained detailed introductions, breakdowns of each economics department's strengths, information on key professors, and even estimated living costs for each city. "This is… incredibly detailed," I said, looking up at him. "When did you do all this?" "I started putting it together when I heard you were planning to leave," he said calmly. "I spent a few years studying overseas, so I figured I might have some useful insights to share." We talked for a long time. Liam never once mentioned Jackson. He just earnestly analyzed the pros and cons of each school, even suggesting a few programs I'd never considered but were perfectly suited for me. "If you need a letter of recommendation," he said as we were leaving, "I'd be happy to write one." I hesitated. "Can I… get your contact information?" Liam pulled a business card from his pocket. "This has my work email and phone number. Feel free to reach out anytime." He paused. "My name is Liam Yuan." His manner was polite and restrained, maintaining a perfect, considerate distance. I nodded, not mentioning that I had, of course, remembered his name all along. "Got it." The sky had darkened by the time we left the coffee shop. "Lucy," Liam called out suddenly as I was about to walk away. "Whatever you decide to do, remember to live for yourself." I knew he’d seen it. He’d seen me and Jackson on the quad. "I will," I whispered, the words nearly lost in the wind. 5 I didn't rush to leave town. If I left now, I didn't know when I'd be back. I wandered aimlessly, my feet eventually carrying me to the front of the Economics building. A light was still on in the third-floor lecture hall. That was where Jackson and I first met. It was in our freshman Microeconomics class. Jackson had been late, bursting into the room in a panic and bumping right into me in the front row. He’d fumbled to help me pick up my scattered books, looking up with an apologetic grin. "Hey, sorry about that." His eyes were so bright then, like they were full of starlight. He told me later he'd noticed me earlier and had bumped into me on purpose, just to have an excuse to talk. I’d laughed and called him a schemer, but he’d turned serious. "Because the first time I saw you, I knew I had to meet you." I kept walking, finding myself in the small garden behind the library. There was a bench there, our old spot. Jackson used to love reading me the poems he wrote. They were never very good, but his ears would always turn beet red. "Lucy," he’d said once, suddenly putting down his notebook and taking my hand. "I'm going to give you the best life, I promise." His palm was warm, his gaze so steady it made me believe every word. Around the corner was the cafeteria. Sophomore year, I had a high fever. Jackson skipped his classes and stood in line for half an hour to buy me my favorite congee. By the time he got it to my dorm, the soup was still piping hot, but he was shivering from the cold. "Eat it while it's hot," he’d urged, pressing the container into my hands. "I asked the lady to add extra ginger." These memories flickered through my mind like a movie reel, each scene as vivid as if it were yesterday. Jackson really had given me his whole heart once. That meticulous care, that all-consuming affection—it wasn't fake. So when did it all change? It must have been after Chloe returned from abroad. She was Jackson’s high school classmate and had come back last year. The first time we met, she’d slung an arm around his shoulder with an easy familiarity. "Jax! I missed you, man!" Jackson had laughed and playfully punched her arm. "Get off me, you weirdo." I stood to the side, feeling a prickle of awkwardness. Only then did Jackson seem to remember me. "Oh, this is my girlfriend, Lucy." "Hey, Lucy!" Chloe had grinned, sticking out a hand. "Jax and I were always like this in high school. Don't mind us." I forced a smile and shook her hand. That night, Jackson reassured me. "Chloe's just really outgoing, that's her personality. We were super close back in the day. Don't overthink it." I nodded, wanting to believe him. But soon, Chloe started appearing more and more. She was always calling Jackson away for "a reunion with the guys," sometimes even when we were in the middle of a date. "Lucy," Jackson would say, looking torn, "Chloe says it's an emergency…" "Go ahead," I’d always reply, not wanting to seem petty. Last month, we were at a nice restaurant celebrating our anniversary when Chloe called. She’d scored tickets to see his favorite esports team. "It's tonight!" her voice was shrill with excitement over the phone. "Jax, you have to come! The rest of the guys are already here!" Jackson’s eyes lit up. He looked at me, his hope palpable. I put down my fork. "Go." "You're the best, Lucy!" he’d said, kissing my forehead. "I'll make it up to you tomorrow, I promise!" That night, I finished our two-person meal alone. When I got home, I saw a message from him. "Chloe is the GOAT! We're in the front row! [Photo]" In the picture, Chloe was practically plastered to Jackson's side, flashing a victory sign. I turned off my phone and lay awake all night. The next day, Jackson came back with a huge bouquet of roses and a necklace. "Don't be mad," he’d cooed, trying to win me over. "I brought you flowers and a gift." I should have seen the problem then. But I chose to forgive him. A cold wind made me shiver, pulling me back to the present. I was standing at the main gate of the campus. My phone vibrated. A message from Liam. "Have you thought about it? Do you need me to contact any professors for you?" I took a deep breath and replied, "Thank you. I think I want to apply to the London School of Economics. If you could introduce me to Professor Zhang's former mentor there, that would be incredible." After sending the message, I took one last look at the campus, then turned and walked toward the subway station.
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