My first love and I were kidnapped. My fiancé, Roger, had to choose. After agonizing silence, he picked me—his childhood friend. Days later, Beth, his first love, was found dead in an alley, violated and broken. He never showed grief, but I knew he hated me. For eight years, he never touched me, watching coldly as society mocked me. I thought we’d suffer forever. Then, during a terrorist attack abroad, Roger—who’d hated me for a decade—shielded me with his body. As he died, he smiled. "Ellie, I can finally be with Beth. Next life… don’t stand between us." I woke back on the kidnapping day. This time, I wouldn’t let him save me. This time, I’d let him go. In this life, I’d wish him and Beth happiness—without me. 1 I woke up to the smell of smoke and the roar of flames. Just as I expected, I was tied up next to Beth. The kidnapper was already on the phone with Roger, forcing him to make his choice. "One is the girl you grew up with, your little sister. The other is the old flame you can't forget. A little game of Sophie's Choice for you, Mr. Pierce. So, who will it be?" The kidnapper's voice was laced with a cruel amusement, not urgency. He was enjoying this, curious to see what Roger would do. Outside the burning warehouse, Roger was silent. His mother, however, was frantic. "Don't you dare hurt Eleanor!" she screamed into the phone. "Please, we'll give you anything you want, any amount of money!" "Don't hurt Eleanor," she repeated, her voice cracking, before turning on her son. "Roger, what are you waiting for? Choose her! Her father died saving your father's life. Are you going to make us owe the Dereks another life?" Still, Roger said nothing. I knew what he was thinking. He wanted to save Beth. She was the one he cherished, the one he held on a pedestal in his heart. In our last life, even after she was gone, he remained celibate for her, a twisted form of devotion. He only chose me because his mother had forced his hand. The kidnapper was losing his patience. "You'd better decide quickly, Mr. Pierce," he snarled, glancing at the thick plumes of black smoke billowing into the sky. "A few more seconds of hesitation, and you'll lose them both." Across the inferno, our eyes met. He was looking at me, but his gaze was filled with a torturous conflict. "Fine," he finally said, his voice strained. "I choose Elea—" Before he could finish my name, just as he had before, I scrambled to my feet and screamed with every ounce of strength I had. "Save Beth!" Roger's head snapped up, his eyes wide with disbelief. After all, in the past, I would throw a fit if he didn't prioritize me in even the most trivial matters, let alone a life-or-death situation. To see me hand him over to another woman—and not just any woman, but Beth—was unthinkable. Everyone in the city's elite circles knew that if there was one person Eleanor Derek despised, it was Beth Dean. Roger and I had been inseparable since we were children. I had always believed he was mine, and I'd made it my mission to extinguish any romantic spark he had with anyone else. I was on high alert with any girl who got too close. But Beth was different. She was the one Roger had actually loved. His one true sweetheart. And there was nothing I could do about it. My hatred for her was really just fear. The smoke was getting thicker, the heat suffocating. The sea breeze whipped at my dress. I said it again, my voice firm. "Save Beth." Don't hesitate, Roger. Save the woman you love. This time, I don't want to be in your debt. And I don't want to be hated by you for the rest of my life. 2 In the end, Roger paid the eight-million-dollar ransom. For Beth. As he scooped her up and ran from the fire, he didn't spare a single glance in my direction. From where I stood, I could see the pure, unadulterated joy of having her back in his eyes. A bitter smile touched my lips. Even though I knew he never loved me, it still hurt. More than a decade of shared history, of a bond I thought was unbreakable, had apparently left no mark on his heart at all. ... Just before the warehouse exploded, one of the kidnappers dragged me out through a hidden back path. As I watched Roger carry Beth away, their figures shrinking in the distance, I remembered my past life. I remembered Roger, bleeding out in my arms, begging me to let him be with her. Well, Roger, I thought, your wish is granted. I owed him a life. Now, I've given it back to him and the woman he loves. This time, we're even. And this time... I can finally let him go. 3 I was safe. The rescue team arrived just in time. The city's special police force had been lying in wait at the other exit the whole time. A sudden, chilling thought occurred to me: If they were here all along, why did Beth die in my past life? She should have been rescued too. But I didn't have time to dwell on it. My best friend, Sarah, launched herself at me, a mess of tears and snot, seemingly more traumatized than I was. "Oh my god, Eleanor, you scared me to death!" she sobbed. As the ropes were cut from my wrists, I patted her head, a small laugh escaping me. "It's okay, I'm fine." Sarah's face was flushed with anger. She pointed toward the front of the warehouse. "That bastard Roger! Can you believe he chose Beth? He abandoned his own fiancée for that worthless piece of trash!" Yes. Roger and I were engaged. I knew that by tomorrow, at the latest, the city's gossip columns would be screaming the headlines: PIERCE HEIR DUMPS FIANCÉE FOR OLD FLAME. It would make me the laughingstock of our social circle. I had always been the one to force Roger into public displays of affection, desperate to prove to everyone that he loved me. So much of our "love story" had been a fabrication of my own making. Thinking back on it now, it was all so pathetic. True love doesn't need to be flaunted. It's the ones who have nothing who show off the most. Sarah was still cursing Roger's name, defending my honor. I cut her off, dropping a bombshell with quiet calm. "They used to date." Roger and Beth had a history. He told me himself, late in our last life. They had been forced to break up because his mother disapproved. Sarah's eyes went wide with disbelief. I just smiled, a hollow, weary expression. So you see, he was just saving the love of his life. Perfectly understandable. In the chaos, my eyes caught a flash of a man in a black suit with a silver stud in his ear. I squinted, certain I wasn't mistaken. Nearly 6'3", the silver earring, an air of quiet authority... There was only one man in the city who fit that description. The heir to the Leonard family fortune, Archer Leonard. 4 Later that night, Sarah drove me back to the Pierce estate. The butler informed me that Roger's mother, Diana, had been so furious with him for not choosing me that she'd made him kneel in the family chapel all afternoon. She had even used the "family discipline," which was code for a cane. She'd forbidden anyone from giving him food or tending to his wounds until he admitted he was wrong. But Roger would never believe he was wrong. He had saved the woman he loved; he was probably thanking his lucky stars. After a lifetime as his wife, I knew him. And honestly, I didn't blame him. I went to find Diana to comfort her, but my presence only made her more emotional. She pulled me into a hug, tears streaming down her face, apologizing on Roger's behalf. "Eleanor, don't you worry. I've taught that boy a lesson he won't soon forget. I won't let him off easy this time." Her anger flared again. "The nerve of him! I told him years ago that I would never approve of him and that Beth girl. And he still dared to put you in danger for that little fox!" She took my hands in hers. "Don't you be angry, dear. I'll beat that boy until he gets on his knees and apologizes to you personally, and then he'll swear to never see Beth again." Diana's fierce protectiveness moved me. After my father died, I became an orphan, taken in by the Pierce family. But I never once felt the insecurity of a guest in someone else's home, all because Diana treated me like her own precious daughter, spoiling me even more than she spoiled Roger. The moment I confessed my schoolgirl crush on him, she had immediately arranged our engagement. In her eyes, if I wanted something, she would move heaven and earth to get it for me. My eyes welled up, and I buried my face in her shoulder. It had been so long since I'd felt such unconditional love. In our last life, Diana had passed away early on, never knowing the bitter, resentful couple Roger and I had become. "Thank you, Aunt Diana," I mumbled, my voice thick with emotion. "But... it was me. I told Roger to save Beth." I pressed myself closer, finally saying the words I'd been holding back since my rebirth. "Aunt Diana, I think we should call off the engagement." The words hung in the air. Both Sarah and Diana stared at me, utterly stunned. Everyone knew I loved Roger to the point of obsession. Since middle school, I had followed him around like a lost puppy he couldn't shake. At my eighteenth birthday party, when someone asked what my wish was, I had declared in front of all our friends and family, "I will marry no one but Roger Pierce." So much time had passed. I couldn't remember the look on Roger's face that night, only that it wasn't a happy one. How ridiculous. I should have known then that he didn't love me. That no amount of chasing or devotion would ever change that. If someone doesn't love you, they don't love you. And yet, I'd ignored his feelings and forced him into a marriage he never wanted. I never once considered how he felt. No wonder he despised me. 5 Thank God, in this life, there was still time to change everything. After my relentless pleading, Diana finally, reluctantly, agreed. Armed with the news Roger most wanted to hear, I went to the family chapel. A twenty-four-year-old Roger knelt quietly on the cold stone floor, his profile sharp and perfect in the dim light. In this life, his eyes held no hatred for me, no disgust. Just a sincere, profound apology. "I'm sorry, Ellie, I—" I shook my head. "It's not your fault, Roger." He flinched. It had been a long, long time since I'd called him by his first name without the possessive tone of a lover. Not since I'd confessed my feelings for him. He frowned, confused. But I just smiled at him, a genuine, uncomplicated smile, as I stepped back into the role of his little sister. "I was selfish and immature before. I never considered your feelings, and I'm truly sorry for that." "It won't happen again." "I just spoke with your mother. I asked her to cancel our engagement." When I said the words "cancel our engagement," a flicker of something—surprise? disbelief?—crossed his usually placid face. He stared at me, his voice certain. "You're angry." I shook my head. I didn't understand. He should be happy. Happy that I was finally letting him go. Happy that he was free to be with Beth. And yet, all he said was a quiet, "Fine." Then he closed his eyes, refusing to look at me again. I turned and left, trying not to overthink it. In this life, this was for the best. Our paths would diverge here. 6 That weekend, Sarah threw a party to "calm my nerves." It was just our close circle of friends. After a few rounds of drinks, we had some uninvited guests. Beth, pushed forward by her older sister, came to thank me personally. She looked terrified of me. "Eleanor," she stammered, "about the other day... th-thank you." Everyone in the private room exchanged glances, waiting for the inevitable fireworks. They all knew how much I loathed Beth, how I never missed an opportunity to humiliate her, calling her a homewrecking fox who was seducing Roger. I had made a public spectacle of her more than once. But my hatred for Beth had roots. I wasn't wrong. She had seduced Roger. Beth was the unloved second daughter of her family; all their affection was reserved for her older sister. Before I met her, she had been nothing more than a living blood bag for her chronically ill sibling. One day, she'd had enough and tried to run away from the hospital. Roger and I found her. Roger knew the dark secrets of her family and warned me not to get involved. He tried to hold me back as I rushed to her defense, but I broke free. I saved Beth. The Pierces were the most powerful family in the city, and everyone wanted to be in their good graces. The Deans were no exception. They were thrilled that Beth had connected with me. I took her under my wing, just as she'd hoped. She was a frail, malnourished little thing back then, a frightened rabbit hiding behind me. Sarah and I showered her with gifts and food. But it wasn't enough for her. I treated her like a friend. I told the world, and her, that I loved Roger, that he was my fiancé. And she still went after him. I was furious. Diana had raised me to be proud and imperious. I could not tolerate betrayal from a friend. I used my influence with Diana to have Beth's family force her to kneel outside in the freezing cold for two hours. But Beth was too weak. After only a short time, she collapsed and was rushed to the ICU. That was the first time Roger ever truly got angry with me. "Eleanor! Didn't I warn you to leave her alone?" he'd yelled. "Her life at home is hard enough. You've disappointed me more than I can say." My eyes had filled with tears. It was the first time I'd seen genuine pain and concern for someone else in his eyes. He ignored me for a month after that, all for Beth. I finally got scared. I promised him I would never bother her again. But Beth was a master actress. On Christmas, Roger made me bring a gift to her house and apologize. Because I loved him, I went. But that night, the media reported that Beth had spiked a high fever after I left, nearly dying. Everyone, including Roger, believed I had pushed her to the brink of death. I had no way to defend myself. Later, at a high-society gala, I saw her again. I lost control. I had my bodyguards force her to her knees in front of everyone who mattered in the city and slapped her twice across the face. That was the day my relationship with Roger shattered completely. ... "Miss Derek?" Her sister's voice pulled me from my thoughts. The past felt like a long, terrible dream. But now, standing before me was a very much alive Beth. And Roger and I had not yet reached the point of mutual hatred. I raised my glass, looking at the woman my husband had obsessed over for a lifetime. A wry smile played on my lips. "No need to thank me. Roger always wanted to save you anyway. If you want to thank someone, thank him." I couldn't take credit for his choice. Beth dared to look up, her eyes studying me, as if she couldn't believe I was letting her off so easily. Just then, a waiter entered with a large tureen of soup. Beth and I were standing closest to him. With a sudden cry of alarm from Beth, the entire pot of scalding soup tipped over, splashing directly onto her.
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