It was crawfish season again. I pulled up my ex's contact and texted him: "Get back together?" He replied: "No, I'm seeing someone new." "Stop using these childish tricks to try and win me back. It's stupid." I slowly typed back: "Oh." "Then do you and your new girl want some crawfish?" 01 "I'm downstairs at your apartment." I spoke quietly into the phone. "I brought fifteen pounds of crawfish." The sound on the other end of the line abruptly stopped. Caleb seemed to be in disbelief, or maybe he just thought the whole thing was absurd. Then I heard him take a deep breath. Lowering his voice, he asked through gritted teeth, "What did you just say?" "Repeat what you just said to me!" I hadn't realized Caleb was already going deaf at such a young age. I paused, then quietly repeated myself: "That crawfish place we always go to is running a special. Buy five pounds, get two free." "And so you bought ten pounds?!" Caleb's voice suddenly spiked. Even through the phone, I could hear him losing his mind. "Maya, are you crazy?!" I silently pulled the phone a little further away from my ear. I waited a good while. After Caleb seemed to have calmed down slightly on his end, I brought the phone back and carefully asked, "So, do you and your new girl want to eat some crawfish?" "Get lost!" Caleb roared his final sentence into the receiver and hung up cleanly. I stood downstairs outside his apartment complex, holding the massive bags of crawfish. I looked up at the floor where he lived and let out a deep sigh. Well, this was a disaster. I'd calculated everything, but I hadn't calculated that Caleb would have a new girlfriend. I had no idea how long it would take me to peel these fifteen pounds of crawfish by myself. I sat on the planter outside Caleb's building for a while, feeling a bit lost. For a moment, I didn't know what to do. I opened my contact list, wondering who I could ask to help me polish off this mountain of food. But at this hour, everyone had just finished dinner. They wouldn't have the stomach space. I sighed again, stood up, and grabbed the four huge bags, preparing to head to the complex entrance to call an Uber. I hadn't walked far when I bumped into Caleb. His face was ashen. I had no idea when he'd come downstairs. He stood stiffly in front of me. He didn't speak; he just stared at me coldly, staring inexplicably for a long time. I blinked, hoisted the bags of crawfish, and asked, "Fresh out of the pot. Want some?" Caleb's face was dark. He took two bags from my hands and turned to leave without saying a single word. "Wait a second!" I couldn't help but call out to stop him. Caleb turned sideways to look at me. His lips were pressed tightly together, but his eyebrows raised slightly. Caleb and I had been together for four years. I knew all his little habits intimately. You could say I knew him too well. He didn't even need to speak for me to know what he was trying to convey. Just like right now. He wanted to say, "Spit it out, I don't have all night." But he was too lazy to open his mouth. A cold stare and a raised eyebrow were enough for me to understand. I paused for a moment, then quietly said, "Five pounds of crawfish is thirty-five dollars." Caleb's eyes widened in sheer disbelief. I met his gaze in silence. After a long moment, I heard Caleb let out a cold laugh. "Fine! Fine!" "Maya, you really are something else!" "If I ever pay any attention to you again, I'm a dog!" After Caleb Venmo'd me the money, he didn't look at me again and quickly walked away. Before he left, I saw him angrily kick a trash can on the street. The trash can sustained minor injuries; Caleb sustained major ones. He curled in on himself for a second in pain. But he insisted on acting like nothing happened, limping away into the distance. 02 That night, Caleb, who rarely posted on Instagram, suddenly uploaded a story. In the video, he was meticulously peeling an entire bowl full of crawfish meat. Then, he pushed the bowl in front of a pretty girl wearing a breezy top and light-ash-brown hair. The moment the girl smiled, puckered her lips, and leaned in, the video abruptly ended. I silently liked the video, then turned off my phone screen and stared blankly at the crawfish in my hands. Actually, I had thought about Caleb getting a new girlfriend. I just didn't expect that day to come so quickly. When we broke up, Caleb’s eyes had been red. He'd bitten his lip hard and said to me through clenched teeth, "Maya, if you dare find another man, I will haunt you even as a ghost!" Caleb said he would wait for me forever. I believed him. But six months later, he had a new girlfriend. I silently ate a piece of the crawfish I'd peeled by hand. It tasted a bit sour and bitter. It used to be so delicious. Caleb and I would go eat it so many times every summer. But eating it today, I felt the taste was off. Something was always missing. I silently opened my chat with Caleb, wanting to ask him if the crawfish tasted different this time. But just as I finished typing the message, I realized something. Caleb seemed to have a new girlfriend. It probably wasn't a good idea for an ex like me to keep bothering him. I slowly deleted the text in the chat box, letter by letter. Just as I deleted the last word, I saw that Caleb's profile picture, which hadn't changed in years, had updated. It was now a picture of that girl with the light-ash-brown hair. The next second, I saw a message from Caleb pop up: "Let's just delete each other." "I'm worried my girlfriend will get upset." I didn't reply. I stared at those two sentences for a long time. I wanted to reply "Okay," but I was afraid I'd get the red exclamation mark showing I'd been blocked. I thought about it for a long time. I didn't reply, nor did I block or delete Caleb. Whatever. He had definitely already deleted me anyway. Whether I deleted him or not didn't really matter. I silently spat out the crawfish meat in my mouth, losing my appetite for the remaining six pounds. I went to the kitchen to wash my hands. When I came out, a text message popped up on my phone screen. I glanced at it casually and saw it was from Caleb. It just said: "Test." It was a random, out-of-context message, and it was immediately "unsent" with blazing speed. I was confused and sent a question mark back. The next second, a red exclamation mark popped up in the chat box. Message Not Delivered. This time, Caleb had truly blocked me. I held my phone in silence for a long time. Ten minutes later, after some thought, I sent a message to the account that had blocked me: "Well, I guess I can move on too." I hit send, and it went through successfully. There was no red exclamation mark in front of the sentence. I froze for a moment, then belatedly realized what had happened. Caleb hadn't deleted me. He had just blocked me, then unblocked me a moment later. Caleb's status showed "typing..." for a long time. He typed for ages before I finally saw him send: "Oh." "Suit yourself." I looked at those words, my eyelashes trembling slightly. I tapped on his profile picture and stared at it for a while, then pursed my lips and deleted him from my contacts. It was just like eating too much crawfish; it’s bad for your body. Caleb had a girlfriend now. It was time for me to look forward, too. 03 I was thinking very clearly. So, at work, when the nice lady from accounting asked again if she could introduce her younger brother to me, I didn't smile and change the subject to decline like I usually did. Instead, I smiled and said, "Sure! Give me his number!" "We can get to know each other first." That same day, I added Julian—no, wait, I can't use that name. I added Liam's contact info and sent a simple greeting. The other party didn't seem to have much interest in chatting. I'm not the type to force a conversation on someone who's giving me the cold shoulder, either. After two or three awkward exchanges, the conversation died. I figured Liam probably wouldn't initiate contact again. I didn't expect his sister to like me so much! That day after work, she asked her brother to pick her up. Then she found an excuse to treat me to dinner. She brought me and Liam to a restaurant, and then immediately claimed she had to use the restroom and disappeared, leaving Liam and me staring at each other awkwardly. It was our first time meeting, and we were both a bit embarrassed, unsure of what to say. "I'm actually not that hungry," I hesitated for a moment, then suggested quietly, "How about we just leave?" Liam nodded hastily, agreeing completely. But just as Liam and I were about to get up and leave, the waiter started bringing out food. That's when I realized that before his sister left, she hadn't just thoughtfully ordered for us—she had also paid the bill! Now it felt really rude not to eat. Liam sat back down, rubbing his temples, and looked at me helplessly. "Sorry about this. My sister's antics are sometimes so frustrating." I burst out laughing and said, "It's fine. I actually think she's a great person with a great personality." Liam looked at me in disbelief. After a long silence, he replied, "I finally know why she likes you so much." "No wonder she's always going on and on in my ear about how great you are." "She's talked about it so much my ears are bleeding." I blinked, intrigued, wanting to know what his sister had said about me. Once that topic came up, Liam wasn't tired or awkward anymore. He perked up, determined to spill some tea about his sister. I listened and laughed, and the two of us slowly started getting along really well. Just as Liam and I were hitting it off, a cold laugh came from above our heads. "Heh." I looked up and met Caleb's mocking expression. "What a coincidence. Your new boyfriend?" I paused, momentarily unsure of how to explain. But Caleb didn't seem to need my explanation. He just stared at me fixedly, gritting his teeth as he enunciated every word: "This restaurant is full." "Mind if my girlfriend and I sit with you guys?" 04 Without waiting for me or Liam to decline, Caleb had already brought his girlfriend over and sat down at our table as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I had been afraid Caleb was here to start trouble, but it turned out he really did just want to share the table. After sitting down, he didn't look at me again. Instead, he leaned his head close to the girl beside him and started ordering food on his phone. When he saw an interesting dish, Caleb would lean into her ear and whisper something, quickly eliciting low giggles from her. She leaned into Caleb's chest, laughing non-stop. The two of them looked exceptionally intimate and sweet, making Liam and me look a bit awkward in comparison. Especially when Caleb occasionally looked up and his gaze swept over Liam sitting next to me. His eyes were not exactly friendly. Liam, sitting beside me, was given several hard looks by Caleb. Feeling a bit awkward, he couldn't help but send me a text: "Are these your friends?" I had no intention of hiding anything, so I replied concisely: "Yeah, the guy is my ex." "The girl next to him should be his current girlfriend." Talk about a showdown between the ex and the current! Liam looked down at the message, and for a moment, he couldn't hold it back. He almost choked on the lemon water in his mouth, nearly spraying it everywhere. Caleb didn't hesitate at all; he immediately shielded his girlfriend. I quickly grabbed some napkins and handed them to Liam, terrified he was actually going to spit water everywhere. "I'm fine." Liam clumsily tried to take the napkins I offered, but accidentally grabbed my hand instead. The next second, as if my hand had burned him, he hastily let go, his face flushing bright red. "Sorry." Liam turned his head and apologized somewhat bashfully near my ear. I turned my head, intending to say something to him as well, but as soon as I looked up, I caught sight of the tips of his ears, which were tinged with red. Because we were so close, I could even clearly see the lingering blush on Liam's cheeks and the fine peach fuzz on his face. I had meant to say it was fine, but what came out of my mouth was: "I didn't expect you to be so shy." "Have you never dated before?" Otherwise, why would he blush so furiously just from simply brushing a girl's hand? Liam suddenly started coughing violently again, his entire face turning beet red. I quickly handed him some water and patted his back to help him catch his breath. After fussing for a good while, Liam finally recovered. He gave me a somewhat resentful look, and I couldn't help but let out a muffled laugh. At the exact second I laughed, there was a sudden, loud CRASH of glass shattering on the floor nearby, startling Liam and me. I instinctively turned to look and saw only shards of glass scattered across the floor, along with Caleb's expressionless face. Meeting the gazes of Liam and me, Caleb pulled his hand back, lowered his eyes, and said in a completely flat voice: "Sorry, my hand slipped." 05 "Sorry about that. Scared you guys, huh?" Caleb gave Liam a long, hard look and said with a fake smile: "Let me order you a steak to make up for it." "No need, no need. We're both full." Liam hastily and politely declined. But Caleb completely ignored him. He stubbornly called the waiter over and added a steak and four desserts to our order, managing everything for us without asking. Liam watched his actions, raised an eyebrow, and turned his head as if he wanted to say something to me. But before he could speak, he was interrupted by Caleb next to him. "You two don't look very compatible," Caleb said, staring at Liam with that fake smile. "How did you guys end up together?" "Mind telling me?" Three sentences, every single one laced with thorns. It also carried a heavy air of condescension. It was incredibly uncomfortable to hear. Even someone with a good temper like Liam couldn't help but frown. I sighed, patted Liam's arm to signal him to stay calm, turned around, and calmly said to Caleb, "Our business doesn't seem to have anything to do with you." "We don't need the steak. We're full, so we're going to leave." I stood up, taking Liam with me, gave Caleb's girlfriend a slow smile, and said softly, "Enjoy your meal." With that, I pulled Liam to leave, but Caleb's face darkened, and he yelled coldly, "Did I say you could leave?" I ignored him, but halfway there, Liam's arm was suddenly grabbed hard by Caleb, freezing him in place. "You running away the second there's trouble? You run pretty fast for a guy. Are you even a man?" Liam's brow furrowed tightly. He was clearly angered by Caleb's words. But Liam could also see that I didn't want to stay here any longer. He suppressed his anger, forcefully shook off Caleb's hand, and strode to catch up with me. Neither of us paid Caleb any attention, which made his face grow darker and darker, looking like a thundercloud about to burst. To the point that, when Liam and I were almost out of the restaurant, Caleb suddenly slammed his hand hard on the table. After drawing the attention of everyone in the restaurant, he gritted his teeth and yelled at Liam: "Hey, Carter!" (Wait, the instructions said no Chinese surnames. I'll use a placeholder). "Hey, Liam!" "You're with Maya, right? Did she ever tell you that she was sexually assaulted?" Liam's body went stiff, and my footsteps abruptly halted. I froze in place. In that instant, the gazes of everyone in the restaurant seemed to land on me. I closed my eyes tightly, hearing the sound of whispers behind me. My fingertips trembled, and I pinched my palms as hard as I could, trying to ignore the suffocating feeling spreading from my heart. "She didn't dare tell you, did she?" Caleb let out a mocking smile and walked toward us step by step, until he stood right in front of me. "If she won't tell you, how about I give you the details?" "After all, you guys are together now." Caleb stood firm in front of me, his gaze fixed on Liam, full of provocation. "I just wonder, will you still like her after hearing this!" "Shut your filthy mouth!" Liam was tense all over. His hands were clenched into fists at his sides, his eyes locked onto Caleb in a death stare, as if he would punch him in the face if Caleb said one more word. Caleb wasn't afraid; he laughed instead, raising his voice again: "We're both men here. Everyone knows how it is. What are you pretending for?" "Then tell me. I want to hear it." A sudden sentence interrupted Caleb's mockery and stopped Liam from throwing a punch. When Caleb heard the voice clearly, he violently turned his head to look at me. The moment he saw the calm expression on my face, a flash of panic crossed his eyes. He couldn't maintain his expression, but he still asked me: "What did you just say?!" "I said, I've almost forgotten about it. Since you remember it so clearly, why don't you say it out loud so I can hear it too?" I repeated it expressionlessly. As my words fell, the ridiculous expression on Caleb's face instantly froze. At this moment, he seemed to finally realize that while he was using these words to sting Liam, I, the person it actually happened to, was standing right in front of them. "Maya!" Caleb couldn't say anything else. After holding it in for a long time, he only managed to choke out my name. He panicked and reached out to grab me. I watched him in silence until Caleb's hand stopped stiffly just inches from my skin. "No, I didn't mean it like that." Caleb, his face pale white, tried to explain. I didn't want to hear explanations. I just asked: "Aren't you going to say it?" "I won't say it!" Caleb answered loudly without hesitation. His voice was sharp, as if he were swearing an oath. He hurriedly added, "How could I possibly say it? You know me!" "I could never hurt you! I didn't mean it like that!" The more Caleb explained, the more panicked he became. He was frantically scratching his head and ears, so panicked he looked like he was about to cry. I watched him go crazy in silence. Before turning to leave, I gave him a long, deep look, parted my lips slightly, and left him with only one word: "Coward." He dared to do it but didn't dare to own up to it. If Caleb wasn't a coward, what was he? I spoke calmly, turned, and walked away. As I stepped out of the restaurant doors, I heard a heavy, muffled thud of something being thrown to the floor inside. 06 After coming out of the restaurant, I stared blankly up at the sky. Only then did I realize that it had started drizzling at some point. The rain wasn't heavy, just a fine mist hitting my face, bringing a bit of a chill. I hadn't brought an umbrella. I sighed and prepared to run to the subway station in the rain. But just as I was about to dash out, my arm was suddenly grabbed. I looked back and met Liam's face, who was trying hard to stay calm. "Where are you going?" "It's dangerous walking in the rain right now. Don't walk around alone. Where do you want to go? I'll go with you." "It's not dangerous in this weather," I replied silently. It was just a light drizzle. There wasn't even any wind or lightning. But Liam refused to let go, still gripping my arm tightly. I frowned and was about to explain further, but I paused when I saw the panicked expression on Liam's face and how his fingertips were trembling slightly as he held me. I suddenly, belatedly realized. Liam seemed to be worried that something would happen to me. After realizing this, the emotions I had barely managed to calm down suddenly began to surge wildly. My heart gave a heavy thud, bringing with it a hint of sourness that spread through my whole body. "I'm fine," I tried to smile and explain to him. "I just want to run to the subway station and take the train home." Liam frowned, his suspicious gaze falling on my face, looking completely unconvinced. "I'm really fine!" I gently pried his fingers off my arm, gave him a reassuring smile, and explained with a normal expression, "What he said is a fact. I have nothing to be angry about." I couldn't deny the fact that I had been sexually assaulted when I was a teenager. Just as I couldn't deny that Caleb and I had truly had an unforgettable relationship. It just ended up as a chaotic mess, leaving behind nothing but a floor covered in feathers. "Think on the bright side," I patted his shoulder and said with a smile. "At least I was only assaulted, not murdered. That's a silver lining, isn't it?" Liam was so shocked by my words that he was almost struck dumb. He probably never expected that I seemed to have no trauma from this tragic past, and could even calmly bring it up to comfort someone else. "When I was eighteen, I might have been so ashamed I'd want to die if he ripped off my scars in public like that." "But I'm twenty-eight now." I explained: "I know very well that what happened wasn't my fault." "The person who should really be so ashamed they want to die shouldn't be me." Actually, I was just a little confused. I paused for a moment. Caleb's face inexplicably popped into my mind, and I clenched my fists tightly. I just didn't understand why Caleb had turned out like this. Before, when I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, Caleb had gripped my hand tightly and told me firmly, over and over again: "Maya, it's not your fault. We aren't going to cry!" But in the blink of an eye, he had morphed into that mocking face, yelling loudly in front of everyone: "Did you know Maya was sexually assaulted?" I lowered my eyes, unconsciously pressing my hand against my aching heart, trying to make myself feel less miserable. Liam looked at me deeply for a long time, his expression complex. After a long while, I finally felt the hand holding mine slowly let go. "You're right!" Liam's voice was hoarse, but he spoke firmly. "It wasn't your fault! The person who truly deserves to die is someone else!" I snapped out of my daze and blinked at him. Liam stared at me, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly, then said to me with a hoarse voice, "I left something in the restaurant. I need to go back and get it. Wait here for a second, okay?" 07 I paused, not having had time to react before Liam had already taken off running back inside. A few minutes later, his hair and clothes were a bit messy, and he came out panting, holding an umbrella. He flashed me a huge smile and said, "Let's go! I'll take you home!" I thought it would have been fine for him to just walk me to the subway, no need to take me all the way back. Because I remembered his house was in the opposite direction of mine. Liam was unexpectedly insistent. When I said it wasn't necessary, he just murmured his agreement. But in reality, he just stood right behind me, not moving an inch. I couldn't talk him out of it, and I had no choice but to let him walk me all the way to my front door. Since he was already at my door, I felt it would be a bit rude not to invite him in for a glass of water. As soon as I asked him, Liam seemed to think of something. His face instantly turned red. He scratched his head and stuttered, "Uh, maybe next time. Coming in empty-handed now doesn't seem right." "Huh? But I live alone," I silently explained, not understanding his train of thought. But my explanation made things worse. As soon as I said it, Liam's face turned even redder. No matter how I invited him, he stubbornly stood at the door talking to me, not daring to come in, and his gaze didn't even dare to dart inside. I really had no choice but to go inside, pour a glass of water, and let him drink it at the door. Liam didn't stay long. After he left, I closed the door, preparing to take the glass back to the kitchen. But after I'd taken just two steps, there was a sudden knock on the door again. "Did you forget something?" I asked as I opened the door. The next second, I heard a familiar mocking voice from above my head. "Who forgot something? Your new lover?" "What, you've only known him for how long, and you're already bringing him home?" Caleb gritted his teeth. His voice was flippant, carrying a thick undertone of humiliation. "Maya, how come I never noticed before? Are you that desperate for a man? You can't stand it for a few days without one?" I looked up. The second I met Caleb's eyes, I violently swung my arm and slapped him across the face with all my might! Caleb's head whipped to the side from the force. He kept his head lowered, pushed his tongue against his numb cheek, and let out an inexplicable laugh.
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