As I was mopping the floor, my husband, Leo, walked by and scoffed. “Look at you. This is your life now.” I froze. “What did you just say? I’m up at six every morning cooking and cleaning. I handle the school runs, take care of the elders, and help with homework until midnight. What gives you the right to say that to me?” My son, Finn, pouted. “You take good care of us, I guess, but you’re nothing like Aunt Mia.” Mia. My own sister. She’d recently returned from abroad and treated us to one dinner, and they hadn’t stopped talking about it since. My daughter, Fiona, chimed in, her voice full of dissatisfaction. “Aunt Mia always wears high heels, and she understands things like Western philosophy. Mom, you’re just… embarrassing.” I was about to reprimand them when Leo stopped me. “See? You get so defensive over a few words. Fine, if you don’t want to hear it, we won’t say it. Happy now? Mia would never be this emotional.” That day, I walked away from the unfolded laundry, the dirty floors, and the sink full of dishes. I also left behind a signed divorce agreement. … I was eating a slice of chocolate cake when Fiona spotted me. She ran over, her hand outstretched. “Mommy, you’re eating without me! I want some!” I met her gaze. Then I put the last bite into my mouth. “Waaah! Mommy stole my food!” Fiona plopped down on the floor and began to wail. Unlike before, I didn’t rush to comfort her. I simply wiped my mouth, threw away the paper plate, and walked right past her as she screamed. Her cries brought Finn running down the stairs to see what was wrong. I didn’t even glance his way. After giving birth to the twins, I hadn’t tasted a single bite of cake. Leo only remembered the children’s birthdays. He hadn’t even realized that the day my sister returned—the day of that infamous dinner—was also my birthday. I had grown used to it. But in this family, not a single person was grateful for my sacrifices. The chocolate cake was delicious. The front door opened, and I heard Fiona’s cries escalate. “Daddy! Mommy stole my cake!” Finn eagerly chimed in. “It’s true! Mommy was eating all by herself and she pushed Fiona! She wouldn’t let her have any!” “Mommy is so mean! Daddy, you have to punish her!” I never understood it. I was the one with them seven days a week, yet they always preferred their father, the man who only showed up on Saturday nights. “Hannah, you’re being ridiculous,” Leo said, his voice laced with that familiar, weary disapproval. “You’re the mother. Are you really going to squabble with your own children?” He knelt down to face them. “Don’t cry, you two. If Mommy won’t give you any, Daddy will buy you some. What do you want?” Watching the three of them, a perfect picture of familial bliss, only filled me with disgust. I turned to leave, but he stopped me, his brow furrowed. “Hannah! You haven't apologized to the children yet!” I looked back at him. “I don’t want to.” He stared, dumbfounded. The twins, seeing his reaction, burst into fresh tears. I looked at their crying faces, a bitter smile touching my lips. Leo took them out for treats. Finally, the house was quiet. I let the exhaustion of the past few weeks wash over me and fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up, they were already home and asleep. I was thirsty. I went to the water cooler, but the moment my hand touched the button for hot water, a violent jolt shot up my arm. With a loud pop, the machine exploded. The glass in my hand shattered, and scalding water sprayed across my body, sending me crashing down into a puddle of boiling water and broken glass. “Hahahahahaha!” From upstairs, I heard Finn’s triumphant laughter. “It worked! Mr. Henderson’s lesson on rewiring circuits actually worked! The water cooler really blew up!” Fiona appeared at the top of the stairs, cheering. She pulled down one of her eyelids and stuck out her tongue. “Nyah nyah! That’s what you get for not sharing your cake! You got punished by my big brother!” I was someone who had lost my own chance at a proper education, so I had poured every resource I could into my children’s. I had chosen that electronics class for Finn, never imagining he would use that knowledge against me. The pain faded into the background. I pulled both children down the stairs and spanked them, hard. Their screams woke Leo. Finn wailed, “Daddy! Mommy’s burning us with hot water! And she’s hitting us!” “Hannah!” Leo stormed down the stairs. He didn’t see the raw, red skin on my arms and face. He only saw a monster. He shoved me, and I fell to the floor. The force of the push tore a large patch of blistered skin from the back of my hand. He didn’t seem to notice the blood pooling on the floor. He was righteous in his fury. “They’re your children! Have you lost your mind? What if they had gotten hurt by that hot water? Are you even a mother anymore?!” He scooped up Fiona, grabbed Finn’s hand, and stormed out. My hand shaking, I dialed 911. While I waited for the ambulance, my thoughts drifted to my sister. To the single study-abroad scholarship that had been available, the one that only she and I were qualified for. I was the better student, but my parents had said, “You’re the older sister,” and so I gave it to her. Then came marriage and children, each step orchestrated by my parents. When Leo went from a junior employee to a CEO, they saw it as proof of their brilliant decision-making. I was loaded into the ambulance, alone. When I woke up in the hospital, my sister was sitting by my bed. She was on the phone with Leo. “My sister is lying in a hospital bed, and you can’t even be bothered to visit? I really thought you were a decent guy!” For the first time ever, Leo, the man who was always chauffeured everywhere, drove himself to the hospital to pick me up, with the children in tow. They insisted I take the front passenger seat. But only because both kids wanted to sit next to their Aunt Mia. Leo, who was usually silent whenever we were in the car together, talked the entire way home. The history of Western philosophy, the critique of Lucas, the critique of pure reason… I couldn’t get a word in. Mia was dressed in a chic, academic style, her heels gleaming, her hands perfectly manicured. I was wearing faded jeans and a pilled sweater, a thick bandage wrapped around my hand. I felt like a relic from a forgotten era, a scrap of old cloth gazing up at the bright, shining star that was Mia. I closed my eyes. When we got home, Leo said, matter-of-factly, “Go make dinner, honey.” Pain shot through my bandaged hands. “No.” He froze, shocked that I would dare to defy him. The children glared at me. Leo shot a quick glance at Mia, then lowered his voice, hissing, “We can talk about this later. Mia is here! Are you going to make our guest wait?” “It’s okay! I’ll do it! My sister is still hurt!” Mia stepped between us. Leo shot me a look of pure annoyance. “She brought this on herself. Does she even look like a mother anymore?” Mia gave him a disapproving glare and went into the kitchen. But a flower raised in an ivory tower was no match for a stove and a skillet. A few minutes later, she emerged, coughing, a smudge of soot on her cheek, holding a plate of charred chicken wings. I sighed, about to get up and cook myself, but Leo rushed to take the hot plate from her. “Wow, Mia, I didn’t know you could make chicken wings.” I stared at him. The children ran forward, their hands raised. “Let me! Let me! I want to help Aunt Mia carry the plate!” “Aunt Mia, you’re the best cook! These are the best chicken wings I’ve ever seen!” Mia blushed. “You’re all just trying to flatter me.” “No, it’s true,” Leo said, taking a whiff of the burnt, bitter-smelling wings. He smiled. “They smell amazing.” He glanced at me. “You should learn a thing or two.” My fists clenched. The throbbing pain in my hand was the only thing that kept the pain in my heart at bay. “Did I not learn?” Leo froze. The atmosphere shifted. Mia tried to intervene. “Hannah…” “Did I not learn?” I repeated, my voice louder now. “Hannah, what are you…” “Leo, I have cooked for you and our children for five years. The instructor at my culinary class wanted to enter me into competitions. But you said my cooking was boring, so I gave up competing and learned decorative carving instead. Then, when you saw the elaborate fruit and vegetable sculptures I spent five hours creating, you said I was ‘wasting my time on useless things.’ So tell me, Leo, what exactly am I supposed to learn?” Mia whispered, “Hey, sis…” “Don’t,” I cut her off. “I don’t want to hate you.” Mia looked stunned. “Don’t listen to Mommy, Aunt Mia! She’s a bad mommy! I think your food is way better!” Finn shouted. Fiona quickly agreed. “That’s right, Aunt Mia! Mommy is just trying to make herself feel important, but her cooking is not as good as yours.” I looked at my children, then turned and walked away. Mia tried to stop me, but the father and his two children held her back. I didn’t go home for a long time. I spent my days filling out applications for study abroad programs. If I was once more qualified than my sister for that scholarship, then maybe, even a few years later, I still had a chance. I was in the middle of an English proficiency test when my phone started ringing nonstop. It was Leo, his voice frayed with irritation. “Where are you? The house… it’s not working without you.” In the background, I could hear Fiona crying. “I’m hungry! I don’t want takeout! I want Mommy’s cooking! I want Mommy, waaaah…” Finn was sobbing too. “I want the big watermelons Mommy used to carve…” Leo sighed. “Hannah, come home. Can you really bear to see the kids suffering like this?” Hearing their cries, my heart clenched. My pen hovered over the test paper. I hesitated. “No, I don’t think so.” I hung up and switched my phone to silent. The test results came back quickly. An 8.0 on the IELTS. I kissed the score report. My skills hadn’t faded after all. My application was accepted. With my English proficiency confirmed, all that was left was the paperwork. Leo tried to call a few more times, but I always made an excuse. I never expected that on the day I was scheduled to get my passport, I would get a call from my parents. “We’re at Leo’s. You need to come over.” By the time I arrived, my parents had cooked a feast for the children. “Look at the state these kids are in! All you do is enjoy yourself out there! You have no consideration for your family!” I had heard these words a thousand times. Leo sat to the side, legs crossed, watching me with a detached expression. I held up my bandaged hand. “It’s not that I don’t care. It’s that these two have gone too far.” “Why are you getting angry at children? If they’re misbehaving, it’s because you, their mother, failed to teach them properly!” A stone settled in my chest, and my eyes began to sting. “How else am I supposed to teach them? From the moment I open my eyes, my entire world revolves around them. I barely sleep! What more do you want from me? And why don’t you ever say anything to Leo? He’s their father too! What has he ever done besides show up on a Saturday with presents?” Leo stiffened. My mother was momentarily speechless. But only for a moment. “He’s a man. So what if he’s a little less attentive? Your sister would never be so petty. The truth is, you’re just unwilling to make any sacrifices, but you still expect us to be grateful. How did I raise such a thoughtless child?” I bit my lip. “Fine. I’m selfish. I’m thoughtless. In that case, I’ll leave. You can give this family to Mia.” The children’s eyes lit up. “Wait! What are you doing?” My mother shouted, rushing into the bedroom after me as I started packing. I pulled a stack of books from my suitcase. “I’ve been accepted to a university abroad. I won’t be here to be thoughtless anymore.” “So that’s it! No wonder you haven’t been acting like a mother!” She snatched the books from my arms. I tried to grab them back, but my father kicked me hard in the stomach. “So this is why my poor grandchildren haven’t been eating properly. What, you see your sister getting an education and you think you can copy her?” My father swept my books onto the floor and began stomping on them. Principles of Economics, Intermediate and Advanced Macroeconomics, Advanced Calculus, Advanced Physics… and a dozen notebooks filled with my own notes. He stomped and tore, page by page. “Don’t!!” “You think reading a few books makes you just like your sister? You neglect your children, you neglect your home, all to dream about things you don’t deserve!” I managed to rescue a calculus textbook, clutching it to my chest, my voice raw. “I only studied these after the kids were asleep and the chores were done! This is all I have from five years of stolen moments! And you’re destroying it! Why don’t I deserve it? I was always the better student!” SLAP! My mother’s hand trembled with rage. “You’re insane! Shouting at your elders like that!” I covered my cheek, the sting sharper than the pain in my hand. I pushed them away, gathered my ruined books from the floor, and left without looking back. They screamed at me, but I didn’t stop. I shoved Leo aside when he tried to block the door and slammed it shut behind me. My mind was made up. Nothing could change it. But I never imagined that the next day, my parents would take their drama to the streets. They lay down in the middle of the road, causing such a scene that the police called me. When I rushed home, the living room was packed. My parents had called every relative I knew, and some I didn’t. Mia sat beside them, dabbing at their tears with a tissue. My children were there too. “Grandma, Grandpa, don’t cry. When you cry, it makes Fiona and Finn sad too…” My parents hugged my sister and the children tightly. “Thank God we have one daughter who cares about us! If we only had the one, she probably would have poisoned us by now! And my poor grandbabies, stuck with a mother like that…” The relatives turned their judgmental eyes on me. “Hannah, parents are never in the wrong. They worked so hard to raise you. How could you push them to this?” “Don’t be so ungrateful. Your mother could barely eat when she was pregnant with you. You should apologize!” “Exactly! They sacrificed everything for you! Especially your mom, she could hardly even turn over in bed when she was carrying you. Show some respect!” My mother shook her head, sobbing. “It’s fine… I’m used to it. The older one was never as considerate as the younger one. It’s my fault. We just don’t deserve her respect.” “Mom, Dad, you all say I’m thoughtless, but how am I supposed to be thoughtful?” My eyes welled up. “When we were kids, there was only one doll. You said, ‘You’re the older sister,’ so I gave it up. When we were older, there was only one scholarship. You said, ‘You’re the older sister,’ so I gave that up too. When the family needed money, you didn’t want Mia to have to marry for a dowry. You said, ‘You’re the older sister,’ so I got married! All my life, I have been the thoughtful one, but the more thoughtful I am, the more you demand from me! I’ve been thoughtful for twenty-five years. How is it that Mia gets to be selfish her entire life? What do I have to do to be considered thoughtful? Do I have to die?” Leo looked at me, a flicker of surprise in his eyes. My mother’s eyes went wide. She suddenly shot up from the couch. The others reacted just in time, grabbing her before she could slam her head into the wall. “Let me die! My own daughter is cursing me to die! Did you hear her? She’s telling me to kill myself!” I was stunned. My aunt grabbed a handful of my hair and slapped me twice across the face. “That’s your mother! How dare you speak to her that way!” As she lunged, she tripped on one of Finn’s toys and fell backward onto the floor. The relatives exploded. “She’s your elder! How could you attack your own aunt!” I was shoved into a corner. Hands slapped at me, one after another. I felt the skin on my hand tear open again. Mia pushed her way through the crowd and stood in front of me. “Everyone, please stop! My sister is still injured!” She pulled me to my feet. “Hannah, just apologize. It will make everyone happy.” I looked at my sister through red, tear-filled eyes. The relatives sighed. “Poor Mia, having such a troublesome sister.” “See? That’s what a good education abroad does for you. So sensible.” “Hannah! Apologize now!” My parents, surrounded by a comforting circle of relatives, looked over at me as they wiped their tears. “She thinks she’s some kind of intellectual now. And intellectuals are never wrong, are they? We wouldn’t dare ask for an apology. We should be kneeling to her for allowing us to be her parents.” I wiped a trickle of blood from the corner of my mouth. “Since you’re all so miserable, let’s just cut ties.” My parents’ crying stopped abruptly. I turned to Leo. “And as for my husband… I'm vacating my position. You can marry whoever you want.”
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