The world snapped back into focus with Caleb Vaughn walking toward me. And in that instant, I knew I hadn't made it home. The ninth failure. The tenth beginning. He stopped a few feet away, a lazy, cruel smirk plastered on his handsome face. "You just don't give up, do you? I've never met anyone so pathetic. Now, be a good girl and go…" His words blurred into a meaningless drone. I was done listening. I looked up, my gaze locking onto his, and for the first time in a long time, it was perfectly clear. My hand moved, a fluid motion, pulling the pin from the knot of my hair. In the space between one heartbeat and the next, the sharpened metal point was buried in his throat. He gasped, his hand flying to his neck, his eyes wide with a question I had no intention of answering. A spray of warmth misted my face. "You're the pathetic one," I said, my voice eerily calm. "You don't even deserve to live." I had been reborn nine times to win Caleb Vaughn's heart. Success was my only ticket back to my own world. But it didn't matter what I did—the outcome was always the same. Failure. This was the tenth time. I was done trying. I just wanted Caleb Vaughn dead. 1 My eyes opened again. Caleb was walking toward me, a storm cloud of irritation on his face. A familiar, sterile tone chimed in my head. Ding! New objective issued: Successfully win the affection of Caleb Vaughn and ensure his happiness. Upon completion, the Host will be returned to their original world. The tenth time. The first seven loops were a masterclass in dying. Car accidents. Cliff falls. Drowning. Some were the result of his cruel pranks, some happened while I was trying to save him, and once, he killed me with his own two hands. On the eighth loop, I considered a new strategy: maybe he just hated me. For his "happiness," I tried to disappear. I left the country. But he hunted me down, dragged me back, and locked me in a basement to starve. All so I would stay by his side. On the ninth loop, I endured. I swallowed his insults, bandaged the bruises from his rage, and stayed. I became his perfect, docile wife. I held his hand as he died of old age, having devoted my entire existence to him. I had suppressed every urge to run, to fight back, to end my own life or his. I thought, finally, that had to be it. As I closed my eyes for the last time in that life, I let myself dream of my real parents, of the joy on their faces when I reappeared. God, I was so tired. I missed them so much. I would have killed for a plate of my mom's cooking. But the universe had other plans. And now, seeing Caleb's face again, I felt nothing. A complete and total void. He stormed toward me, his voice a low growl. "Ava, you are so fucking pathetic. Can't stay away, can you? One call and you come running." I remembered this night. He'd made a bet with his pack of jackal friends. He bet that I'd drink three bottles of champagne for him, even though he knew—everyone knew—I had a deadly allergy to alcohol. Behind him, his buddies were laughing. "Damn, Caleb, you've got her trained. Didn't even change out of her pajamas." "Guess she was in a hurry to get into your bed." "The girl's desperate. No way she doesn't drink it. Shit, looks like I owe you a G-Wagon." I have a severe alcohol allergy. In my real life, a bad stomach ulcer from my college days meant my mom had spent six months consulting with nutritionists and cooking special meals just to heal me. In my last life, my ninth life, I drank the champagne. I wept while I did it, apologizing to my mom in my head, but I had to. I wanted to go home so badly. They ended up removing half of my stomach. Caleb's face was a mask of impatience, his handsome features twisted with a familiar, simmering violence. "Are you deaf? Go drink the champagne. And don't give me any of that allergy bullshit. The bet's for my car. I'm not losing." Last time, when I tried to explain, he'd slapped me so hard my ears rang. He'd grabbed my hair and dragged me to the table. He'd shattered a bottle and held the jagged neck to my throat. "Don't be a bitch, Ava. You came here, so you're going to drink. Don't embarrass me, or I swear to God I'll kill you." I drank it all. His only comment was, "Pathetic." After that night, in that ninth life, he married me. Our life together was a special kind of hell. My skin was a constant patchwork of bruises. He was a monster. He hit me when he was drunk, he hit me when he was angry, and sometimes, he hit me for no reason at all. My fists clenched at my sides. I ground my teeth. This time, I wasn't going to endure it. This time, he was going to die. Seeing my silence, his brow furrowed. He took a step closer, raising his hand. It was moving toward my face, an all-too-familiar trajectory. My eyes narrowed, my focus absolute. My hand shot up to my hair, pulling the metal pin free. With all the force I could muster, I lunged forward and plunged the sharpened end deep into his throat. Blood erupted, hot and wet against my skin. His eyes bulged, his hand clawing at his neck, a look of pure disbelief on his face. "Ghk! Ghk! You… you…" He tried to speak, but only a torrent of red spilled from his lips. 2 Gritting my teeth, I pushed the pin in deeper. "You're the pathetic one," I whispered, the words like acid. "You don't deserve to live." That sterile, digital voice only ever spoke once per lifetime. I wished I could ask it, just once, why a monster like Caleb Vaughn deserved happiness. He didn't. He deserved to die. His body slid to the floor, his eyes wide open, frozen in a mask of indignation. Screams finally erupted around me. People scrambled, knocking over chairs and tables in a chaotic rush for the exits. The world dissolved. When it reformed, I was standing in an airport terminal, the air thick with the murmur of a thousand conversations. In the distance, I saw him. Caleb, his face a thundercloud, flanked by two imposing bodyguards, stalking toward me. I had been reborn. This was the eighth life. This was the life I had finally accepted he would never love me, that he was a monster. I'd decided to leave the country to escape his torment. But he was a demon you couldn't outrun. He found me, dragged me back to a cellar, and pulled my hair until my scalp screamed. "You can never leave me, Ava. You'll die by my side, and nowhere else." And I did. I starved to death in that darkness. Now, he was getting closer. I calmly reached up, my fingers closing around the hairpin in my hair. I watched him approach, my expression a perfect blank. He spread his arms wide, a mocking, triumphant smile on his face. "Ava, Ava. Did you really think you could leave without my permission? Be a good girl and come home with me. If you do, I promise I'll go easy on you." A faint smile touched my own lips. I said nothing. I just took a step forward, grabbed the front of his expensive silk tie, and with a motion that was becoming second nature, drove the pin into his throat. Blood sprayed across my face. Again. "Aahh!" Panic exploded around us. He clutched his neck, his eyes filled with genuine terror this time. I looked down at him as he collapsed, my voice flat. "You will never have the chance to hurt me again. Just die." Caleb Vaughn choked on his own blood and lay still. 3 The world twisted, and I blinked. I was standing beside a shimmering pool, soaked to the bone and shivering violently. Caleb stood before me, looking impossibly handsome and utterly contemptuous. "Well? Get back in there and find my ring." The woman clinging to his arm, a girl with a deceptively sweet face, pouted. "Oh, Caleb, be nice. I mean, Ava's your girlfriend now, isn't she? And I don't think she can swim. This seems a little mean." A cruel smirk played on Caleb's lips. "Girlfriend? Please. She's a pathetic stray who follows me around. She's my girlfriend when I say she is, and she's trash when I say she is." I remembered. This was the seventh life. The woman was his childhood friend, a snake named Maddy. A few days earlier, Caleb had cornered me and told me he loved me. Desperate for a new angle, a new path to success, I had agreed to be his girlfriend. It had all been a bet, of course. In this life, he killed me. I couldn't swim, so I refused to jump back into the pool. He kicked me in. As I thrashed in the water, screaming for help, he forbade anyone from moving a muscle. He let me drown in front of a dozen people. He found me, he pursued me, I did nothing, and he still murdered me. Now, seeing me just stand there, shivering and silent, his patience snapped. He strode toward me. "What the hell, did my words stop working? I told you to get back in the goddamn pool and find it. You're not leaving here until you do." My eyes, red-rimmed and burning, stared up at him. As he reached out to grab me, my hand darted to a nearby cocktail table. I snatched a small paring knife left on a fruit platter and lunged, burying it in his stomach. Once wasn't enough. I ripped it out, the sound slick and wet, and plunged it in again. And again. And again, with all the strength I had, driving it to the hilt. Blood splattered across my face, obscuring my vision, but the more I saw, the more satisfying it felt. Caleb clutched at the wound, his face a mask of agony and rage. He staggered back, crashing into a lounge chair, a river of red pouring from his designer shirt. He stared at me, his eyes wide with disbelief. "You… you…" The party guests were screaming, running in every direction. A cold, harsh laugh escaped my lips. I didn't want to hear his pathetic last words. "You're the pathetic one, Caleb. You're the one who told me you loved me, then you told everyone I was a slut who chased you. You lied." "I did nothing to you," I screamed, my voice cracking, "and you were still going to kill me! Just die! Die!" My strength gave out, and I collapsed onto the blood-soaked pavement. Caleb's body slid from the chair, his blood turning the crystal-clear pool a sickening shade of crimson. 4 My eyes stayed open for this transition. The world warped, colors bleeding together, until I found myself standing in the center of a grand ballroom. A string quartet played an elegant waltz as couples glided across the polished floor. The sixth life. Tonight was the annual Vaughn family gala. Caleb had personally invited me. He'd even sent a dress to my apartment. He would force me to dance in the center of the room. The moment I raised my arms, the entire dress, held together by a single, dissolving thread, would fall to the floor. Wearing nothing but pasties, I would try to run, but Caleb and his friends would block my path, their phones held high. They would film everything. The pictures and videos would be online before I even made it home. I would become the laughingstock, the slut of the city. I remember Caleb holding his phone up to my face, a vicious grin splitting his face. "Well, well, Ava. Who were you trying to seduce with this little number? Damn, nice tits. So white." Overnight, the entire world had seen my body. I barricaded myself in my apartment, and a week later, I swallowed a bottle of pills. Now, across the crowded room, I saw him. He was leaning against a marble pillar, the picture of bored arrogance, watching me. He looked like a predator, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce and tear me to shreds. Our eyes met. I mouthed the words silently. Long time no see, Caleb. He saw me standing frozen in the middle of the dance floor and muttered a curse under his breath, pushing himself off the pillar to stalk toward me. I lifted the hem of my gown slightly and moved toward a passing waiter, deftly plucking a heavy dinner fork from his tray. Caleb reached me, his face tight with anger. "What the hell are you waiting for, you bitch? Start dancing. How long do I have to…" My gaze was locked on his, unwavering, as if he were the only person in the universe. "Go to hell." "What?" Before he could process it, I lunged. I drove the tines of the fork deep into his eye. I ripped it out and, in the same motion, plunged it into the soft flesh of his throat. Once again, that familiar hot spray. He stared at me, his face a canvas of horror, trying to pull my hand away, but I only pushed the fork deeper. "Aaargh!" A choked, agonizing scream tore from his throat. The guests scattered, their own screams echoing in the vast ballroom. He clutched his neck, his one good eye bulging. "Why… why would you…" I looked at him, my expression cold as ice. "Because you're a monster. And you deserve to die. This dress? The one you were going to humiliate me with? You gave it to me. You thought this was all a fun game. Well, I decided to play, too." I twisted the fork. Up on the mezzanine, Caleb's parents were rushing toward the staircase, their faces panicked. They were monsters, too. In that life, after the video went viral, I had gone to them. I had knelt on the floor and begged them to make him take it down. I told them he had given me the dress, that it was a setup. His mother had looked down at me with pure disgust. "That sounds like your problem. Maybe you should have thought about that before acting like a whore." "For all we know, you wore that dress on purpose, hoping to trap a rich man," his father had added. "Don't come here playing the victim." Everyone looked at me with that same contempt. They all saw a gold-digging slut. That was the moment my last hope had died. Of course. Only monsters could raise a monster. This wasn't enough. Not nearly enough. They all deserved to die. 5 In a blink, I was in a dark, grimy room. A heavy shovel was in my hands. On the floor lay a man with a bloody head. Across from me, Caleb stood, his face pale with fear. The fifth life. A business rival of the Vaughn family had kidnapped Caleb for revenge. I'd been with him, so they took me, too. The man on the floor had been about to cut off Caleb's arm. I'd snuck up behind him and knocked him out with the shovel. As we were escaping, Caleb used me as a diversion. I'll never forget it. We were almost at the door, my hand in his, when he suddenly shoved me to the ground, scrambled outside, and slammed the heavy door shut. I heard his muffled voice from the other side. "Ava, they're coming back! You have to stall them! I'll get help, I promise!" Then his footsteps faded, and he was gone. Of course, they caught me. They weren't just kidnappers; they were animals. They took me back to their hideout and… I will never forget that pain. Never. I don't know if Caleb ever came back with help. They killed me on that filthy mattress before I could find out. Now, in this dark room, I took a deep breath. I glanced at the unconscious man on the floor, then raised my eyes to meet Caleb's. He crept forward and checked the man's pulse. "He's alive. Come on, let's go!" He ran to the door and peeked out. "Damn it. I swear, nothing but bad luck ever happens when you're around, Ava. When we get out of here, I'm going to kill you." I almost laughed. A bitter, broken sound. I'd just saved his life, and the animal thought I was the problem. It didn't matter. He wasn't getting out of here. He was going to die right here. Suddenly, the synthesized voice screeched in my head, frantic. "Warning! Warning! Host must complete the objective. The death of the target will result in a loop reset and mission failure. The Host will never return home."
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