The year Wil lost his memory, I told him a lie. I told him I was his girlfriend. Later, against all odds, I got pregnant. He was ecstatic. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. But just as I thought my secret, lifelong crush was finally about to have a happy ending, his memory came rushing back. He accused me of being a manipulative liar, swore he would never acknowledge the child, and had me dragged to a clinic to terminate the pregnancy. I died on that table, taking our child with me. When I opened my eyes again, I was back in that same hospital room. 1 Wil was still lying on the hospital bed, his eyes shut tight. The air in the room was thick with a suffocating tension. I remembered the doctor's words: if he didn’t wake up today, he would likely remain in a vegetative state. Wil’s mother, Catherine, was weeping softly while my own mom tried to comfort her. "There's still time," my mom murmured. "He'll wake up. I know he will." The specific details of Wil’s awakening were a blur in my memory, but my mom was right. He was going to wake up. My mother turned and saw me standing there, lost in a daze. She waved me over. "Nora, honey, come talk to Wil for a bit. Let Catherine have a rest." At the sound of my name, Catherine looked over, her eyes red and swollen. These two women had doted on me my entire life. Even later, after Wil’s memory returned and he turned on me, they had both stood firmly by my side. But this time… I wanted to refuse, but I couldn't. Not now. Just as I reached the bedside, Wil’s eyelids fluttered. He opened his eyes, and we stared at each other. I never thought I would see him look at me with such calm neutrality again. In my last life, after his memory returned, his gaze was always filled with a chilling malice. We never again shared a proper meal, or even a single civil conversation. He called me a scheming bitch and swore the baby in my belly wasn't his. I knew I was in the wrong, so I accepted his anger. But why did he have to go back on his word? Why did he have to destroy my child? Our child. A storm of emotion raged inside me, making it impossible to stay calm. I looked away, taking an involuntary step back. Catherine rushed forward, her voice choked with relief. Soon after, Wil’s father and my own dad arrived. Wil was awake. It was a miracle. But he had amnesia. After her tears subsided, Catherine began to reintroduce him to his life. "Wil, this is your Uncle David and Aunt Helen. Our families have been friends for generations." "And this," she said, her gaze falling on me, "is Nora, David's daughter… and she's your—" My name snapped me back to reality. The words burst out of me before I could stop them. "His sister!" 2 It was a reflex. I hadn't forgotten. In the last life, Catherine had sealed my fate with a single sentence. At this exact moment, she had introduced me to the memory-wiped Wil as his girlfriend. The truth was, Wil already had a girlfriend. Seraphina Vance. But in Catherine’s eyes, Seraphina was largely to blame for the accident. A few days before the crash, she had demanded they get engaged. Wil refused. In a fit of anger, Seraphina broke up with him and booked a flight out of the country. The accident happened while Wil was racing to the airport to stop her. Catherine had never liked Seraphina, and this incident only solidified her prejudice. She had told me to use Wil's amnesia as an opportunity for us to build a real relationship. Sometimes I wondered—if both our parents could see how much I loved Wil, could he really have been oblivious? No. He knew. He just dismissed it as a childhood crush, the affection of a little sister for her older brother. In my past life, Catherine's suggestion had made my heart pound with a dangerous hope. And what made me fall completely was how easily Wil accepted it. For the rest of his recovery, he wanted only me by his side. Our relationship began with a lie and ended when the truth returned. He was convinced I was a pathological liar, that even our child was part of some elaborate scheme. No matter how I tried to explain that night was an accident, he refused to believe me. I had no credibility left in his eyes. You were cruel to me, Wil. But you were just as cruel to your own child. I pressed a hand to my flat stomach, a phantom ache twisting inside me like a knife. That baby… it never even had a chance to grow. It was my fault. So how could I possibly let myself make the same mistake all over again? Catherine, after a moment of surprise, quickly went along with my new story. "That's right! You two grew up together, you're closer than real siblings!" The adults launched into nostalgic stories from our childhood, their laughter filling the room. Only Wil was silent, his deep, dark eyes fixed on me. 3 The doctors rushed in to run a full examination. I used the commotion as an excuse to slip away. As I walked out of the hospital's main entrance, the whole world felt like a dream. I couldn't tell which was the dream: this second chance, or the twisted love and hate I'd shared with Wil. My head was about to explode when my phone rang. I stared at the caller ID for a long time before answering. Ethan Cole's voice was urgent. "Nora? Where are you?" "I… Ethan? Why… why are you calling me right now?" Ethan was my desk-mate in high school. He'd also once pretended to be my boyfriend. After I found out about Seraphina, I'd stubbornly told Wil that I was seeing someone too. Wil had frozen for a second, then laughed, ruffling my hair with a little too much force. "Look at you, little girl. All grown up." His tone was so condescending, as if he were decades older, not just a few years. A couple of days later, he'd insisted on meeting my new boyfriend for dinner. I couldn't think of anyone else, so I begged Ethan to help. At dinner, Ethan was perfect—attentive, charming, everything a good boyfriend should be. Wil had even remarked, with a self-deprecating smirk, "He's better at taking care of you than I am." But after dinner, he'd pulled me aside. "I can see that he likes you," he'd said, his eyes serious. "But I can't see that you like him." His words had left a sour, bitter taste in my mouth. Because he was right. I didn't like Ethan that way. Not long after, Ethan confessed his feelings for me. I turned him down, but he insisted we stay friends. It wasn't until after Wil's memory returned, after he had cast me aside, that Ethan confessed his love for me again. By then, I was pregnant, exhausted, and utterly broken. I had no space in my life for anything else. And then… I died. "Don't ask so many questions," Ethan's voice crackled through the phone, pulling me from my thoughts. "I need to see you. Right now. Tell me where you are." My brain sputtered. At this point in time, Ethan should have just been rejected by me. He was supposed to be on a business trip out of state. 4 After I hung up, an incredible thought took root in my mind. If I could be reborn, why couldn't Ethan? After all, only the Ethan from the future called me 'Nora' with that kind of warmth. Before, it was always just 'Hayes'. My suspicion was confirmed moments later. A car screeched to a halt, and Ethan jumped out, running towards me. He pulled me into a fierce, desperate hug. The chaotic mix of joy and terror on his face was something only I could understand. "Sorry, I'm just… I had this horrible dream," he stammered, his voice muffled in my hair. "You were… there was so much blood…" Trapped in his arms, I slowly lowered my eyes. We were both back. But I didn't want to relive any of it. "It was just a dream," I said, forcing a light, easy laugh. "Don't be so dramatic." He held me at arm's length, studying my face for a long moment before his own features relaxed into a smile. The light in his eyes was steady and determined, a stark contrast to the dejected look he'd worn after I rejected him in our first life. "You're right," he said. "But that dream made me realize something. I need to be with you, to make sure you're safe." He took a deep breath. "Nora, I'm not going to rush you. So please, don't rush to reject me again, okay?" The heat in his gaze was searing. I instinctively tried to pull away, unsure of what to say. Just then, a familiar, cool voice sliced through the air from behind us. "Not okay." …It was Wil. Leaning on his assistant, he walked towards us, his eyes locked on me. His expression was a complex tapestry of emotions I couldn't unravel: unfamiliarity, dependence, a strange tenderness, and… was that hurt? What did he have to be hurt about? "Wil, you—" Ethan started, his shock quickly turning to wariness. But Wil ignored him completely. What he said next left me speechless. "I may have lost my memory for now, but that doesn't mean it won't come back." His gaze softened, and his voice dropped to an almost pleading tone. "I didn't believe what my mother told me at first. But seeing you with him just now… I believe her." He took a shaky breath. "Nora, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry I forgot how much I love you. But until I remember, please… don't consider anyone else, okay?" 5 I had no idea what kind of madness had possessed Wil. As he and Ethan squared off in a tense standoff, I turned and fled. Two days later, my mom showed up at my apartment. "After you left that day," she explained, "Catherine told Wil that you're the girl he's in love with, that he was in the middle of chasing you when the accident happened. She told him you're just mad at him because his amnesia is a convenient excuse." She sighed. "You've been ignoring him for two days. That's long enough. Come with me to the hospital." …If I weren't the subject of the lie, I would have applauded Catherine's storytelling skills. No wonder Wil had acted so bizarrely. But why was he so easily fooled by a different lie this time around? Two days had been enough for me to process this new reality. I didn't believe Wil ever intended for me to die. It was my own fault for chasing a love that wasn't meant for me. He simply didn't love me. I couldn't change our families' intertwined history, and I couldn't change other people. I could only change myself. I tried to use work at my art studio as an excuse. My mom gave me a puzzled look. "When Wil first had his accident, you were worried sick. Now you can't even be bothered to visit him? Did you two have a fight?" I almost didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Mom, the man doesn't remember anything. What could we possibly fight about? I'm just really busy, and besides, he's fine now, isn't he?" Some truths were destined to be mine alone. My mom knew me better than anyone, but she would never guess that I had been reborn. But while my mom was easy to put off, Ethan was not. Luckily, I had no intention of keeping him in the dark. In our first life, by the time Ethan returned from his business trip, Wil and I were already a couple. He'd been furious, trying to shake some sense into me, telling me to stop deluding myself. But the amnesiac Wil had eyes only for me, and I was already drowning in the fantasy. With our parents' full support, I was willing to gamble. I just happened to lose. 6 I wasn't surprised when Ethan showed up at my studio. After a few days of watching this new, unfamiliar timeline unfold, even the densest person would have figured it out. "Nora, you're… you are, aren't you?" I met his complicated gaze, poured him a cup of tea, and gave a slight nod. He shot to his feet, his face a mask of shock. His lips trembled as if he had a thousand things to say, but in the end, all he asked was, "Do you… still love him?" Wil? I lowered my eyes, a bitter smile on my lips. "I love my own life." You only understand what's most important after you've lost it. I couldn't even save myself, let alone my child. At the thought of the baby, the question I'd been holding back finally escaped. "Did I really… die on that table?" I whispered. "Did Wil… did he ever show up? My parents…" If they knew Wil was the one who sent me to that clinic, the one responsible for my death, the pain would destroy them. Maybe I never should have tried to fight for him after his memory came back. I was too selfish. I squeezed my eyes shut, missing the flash of pale horror on Ethan's face. "I… I don't know the details," he said, his voice strained. "I had this awful feeling that day. By the time I found you, it was already too late. Then, I just… closed my eyes, and I was back." He stared at me, his tone urgent. "Nora, this time, please, stay away from him! If you do, there won't be a baby. You'll just be you. He's going to get his memory back eventually, his girlfriend will return, and then—" "I know," I interrupted softly. I didn't want to talk about it anymore. But the memories came flooding back anyway. That day, Wil already looked furious, but I was still lost in fantasies of our wedding. I'd excitedly presented him with a stack of bridal magazines. He swiped them from my hands, sending them scattering across the floor. He told me I made him sick. The next day, he flew across the ocean and brought Seraphina back. I covered my face with my hands, willing the images away. Long after Ethan left, I remained seated, the pot of tea growing cold. And then, Wil arrived.
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