My hearing isn’t great. So when the campus heartthrob asked me to run an errand for him, I thought he asked me to make out with him. When he asked me to get his lunch, I thought he was asking me to be his girl. And just like that, we stumbled into a relationship. Then, one night, I found him at a bar, playing cards with his “best girl friend.” I overheard him laugh and say: “Dating a deaf girl is a special kind of hell.” I wasn't about to let that slide. I pushed the door open, walked right up to him, and asked— “Where did you say I could pick up those four free male strippers?” He completely lost his mind. But I really didn't hear him! Where do I pick them up? If I’m late, they’ll all be gone! 1 The moment I stepped through the door, the whole private room went silent. Annie slid off Jaxon’s lap, tugging down her tight bodycon skirt as she playfully punched his chest, her face flushed. “I thought you said this was just a guys’ night? Why’d you bring a girl?” “Leah, don’t get the wrong idea! We just lost a bet, a little grinding, that’s all. It’s not like we did anything. We’re all just bros, you know? Totally platonic.” “Ugh, girls are so much drama… Jaxon, aren't you going to say something to your girlfriend?” The guy on the sofa barely glanced up, his eyes cold and distant as if my very presence was an annoyance. So I gathered my courage, walked straight up to him, and said his name. “Jaxon.” My voice trembled a little, but I had to know. I needed an answer. “I didn’t quite hear you before.” “Where did you say I could get those four free male strippers?” 2 “…” “I said, ‘Dating a deaf girl is a special kind of hell!’ What did you mishear this time, Leah?!” he roared, his voice cracking with fury. “You dare even think about male strippers?” The silence that followed was heavy enough to crush bone. Jaxon glared at me, his eyes sharp as daggers. He had a personality like a lit match—a short fuse and an explosive temper. He’d start rattling off words so fast I couldn’t catch a single one. Trapped in the crossfire, I mumbled meekly, “I really didn’t hear where… If I’m too late, they’ll be gone…” Jaxon’s lips pressed into a thin, hard line, his expression turning thunderous. Annie bounced over with a saccharine smile, trying to smooth things over. “Leah, we were just messing around. Don’t take it so seriously.” “I know you’re probably just on edge. Happens when you’re desperate for a man’s attention.” “...You know so much, Leah. Unlike innocent girls like us, who’ve never even held a boy’s hand.” “I know you’re broke. Here’s fifty bucks. Go buy yourself some new underwear.” “Yours is so worn down to a single thread that when you bend over, your ass practically screams ‘Open for business.’ Seriously, aren’t you cold? A girl’s got to have some self-respect!” Annie froze for three solid seconds, her face turning the color of a beet before she covered her mouth and ran out of the room. The party was full of Jaxon’s childhood friends, a pack of about seven or eight guys, all watching the show. His ego was shattered. He started cursing, shoving me towards the door. “Leah, what the hell is wrong with you? Your ears don’t work, so your mouth just makes up crap? Get back to campus, now!” “Who I drink with and what games I play are none of your business! Don’t think being my girlfriend gives you any special rights!” Once we were outside the bar, Jaxon found a quieter spot to talk. A smug smirk played on his lips. “Leah. You were jealous back there, weren’t you?” “You’ve been ignoring my texts, dodging my calls, never at your dorm when I wait for you. What’s with the silent treatment?” “All it took was me messing with some random girl to get you all fired up, rushing in to claim your territory. Male strippers? Please. When you’ve got a guy who looks like me, you’re not looking at anyone else.” When it’s quiet, my hearing is better. The misinterpretations aren't as bad. I lowered my head, suddenly shy, as if he’d seen right through me. The truth was, I hadn’t wanted anything to do with Jaxon lately. Because I’d finally realized something. After two years with him, I had managed to save up over a hundred thousand dollars and even invested in a small business. He had served his purpose. Tonight was a complete accident. I was here with my roommates to celebrate the grand opening of my new shop, and he just happened to be having a party at the same bar. Did they really think I’d go easy on him? Jaxon lit a cigarette, pulling out a credit card and handing it to me. “Let me guess, those roommates of yours dragged you here? You should hang out with them less. They dress like they’re working a street corner every day. They’re no better than Annie.” “Pay the tab and get back to your dorm.” I nodded obediently, clutched the card, and stood on my toes to give him a quick peck on the cheek. The corner of his mouth twitched, fighting a smile. He was so pleased with himself he didn’t even notice he was trying to light the filter end of his cigarette. The second I turned around, I whipped out my phone and texted my roommates. Order the most expensive bottle. The walking wallet is here to pay for it all! 3 I learned a lesson very early in life: never be a fool for love like my mother. She spent her entire life devoted to a deadbeat man who drank, gambled, and cheated. He was the man who hit his own daughter so hard he shattered her hearing for good, and still, she forgave him, time and time again. On her deathbed, she refused to buy painkillers for herself, choosing instead to leave the hospital to make him one last meal… I would rather be a bad woman than a stupid one. … When I first got to college, I was dirt poor. Even with student loans, I could barely afford ramen noodles. I only survived because my roommates would secretly sneak chicken into my bowl when I wasn’t looking. A girl who claws her way out of a place like that has nothing left but her own grit. One night, starving and desperate, I met Jaxon. It was in a massive elective course open to the whole university. He and his friends were in the back row, playing games on their phones. They’d ordered milk tea but were too lazy to go pick it up, so they were looking for someone to run the errand. Jaxon offered me fifty bucks. I told him it wasn’t enough. Five hundred. I hesitated. Losing patience, he just transferred me five thousand. So, I leaned in and gave him a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. He wanted an errand boy. I heard that he wanted a kiss. 4 Looking back, we were both pretty happy with that little misunderstanding. I used the money to treat my entire dorm to a massive pizza feast. We all ate until we couldn’t move. As for him? He wasn’t as handsome as the top academic students, or as rich as the trust-fund kids, and his basketball skills were average at best. But with just a few words, he’d apparently charmed a girl so completely that she kissed him on the spot. His friends crowned him the new campus king. He was on top of the world. … The second time we met was in the dining hall. I was just trying to get a whiff of the food before leaving. As I turned, I saw him standing there, watching me with a strange look in his eyes. “You’ve been hovering for ten minutes. If you want to talk to me, just come over. Stop pretending.” “You even followed me to my major’s class. What, you’ve never chased a guy before? Never even been in a relationship?” He tossed a card at me. “Take this. You’ll be getting my meals from now on.” My hearing was permanently damaged by my father. It was nerve damage; even a hearing aid wouldn’t help much. I always misheard things. And in a chaotic place like the dining hall, it was even worse. The card had a two-thousand-dollar balance on it—enough to feed me for four whole semesters. So, in my mind, what Jaxon had really said was: Take this. From now on, you’re all mine. 5 Honestly, Jaxon was easy to win over. Praise his genius for solving a calculus problem. Scream his name when he makes a basket. Follow him around like a devoted puppy, then suddenly disappear one day, only for him to find you suffering alone in the rain, breaking his heart… Psychology 101 says that for an arrogant, hot-headed personality like his, all you have to do is stroke his ego, act a little naive, and be completely obedient. You can get anything you want. … Back in my dorm late that night, a roommate showed me Annie’s latest Instagram story. Some drunk puppy insisted on walking me home. Is he planning on sticking to me for life? Help, I still have to get married someday! The photo was of Jaxon’s large hand intertwined with Annie’s, their fingers locked together. My roommate’s phone screen practically glowed with her outrage. She asked if I was really okay with this. I just shook my head calmly. I always knew about Annie, Jaxon’s “best girl friend.” Long, dark hair, a delicate face—she looked like the picture of innocence, but she insisted on acting like one of the guys, only ever hanging out with them. She never accepted gifts, swore off dating within the friend group, and insisted on splitting the bill for everything, down to a cup of coffee, just to prove she wasn’t taking advantage of her “bros.” Before Jaxon and I were official, she used to joke about fighting him for me. After we got together, she started slipping her own underwear into his backpack to mark her territory. Used underwear. I almost threw up when I found it. All I wanted was to secretly do his homework for him, sweet-talk him into a good mood, and make a little extra cash. What did I do to deserve this? Crying, I carried the backpack to his classroom. Jaxon and his friends were scrolling through photos on their phones, chatting casually. “Yeah, Annie’s definitely not a virgin.” “How long have I known her? You think I don’t know what that girl is up to? ‘Just bros.’ Please, she can drop the act.” “I was just using her to practice a few things. We even split the cost of the morning-after pills. A woman’s purity is the most important thing she has. When I get married, it’ll be to someone from a good family, a virgin. At worst, I’ve got a clean, loyal backup like Leah.” He looked up and saw me, and they immediately changed the subject, asking if I wanted to grab dinner at that old-school, clean diner off-campus. They thought I couldn’t hear them. But in a quiet room, I can hear just fine. I heard everything. So you see, why would I bother fighting with Annie? We were both just trying to please the same piece of trash. I held his hand and played the part of his innocent girlfriend, and the balance in my bank account kept growing. Annie schemed and pretended, only to end up having to split the cost of her own birth control. She was far more pathetic than I was. 6 Jaxon’s parents ran a small import-export business. He wasn’t exactly rolling in generational wealth. I’d been keeping track of his credit card limits every time I used them, which confirmed my theory. Getting over a hundred grand out of him was probably reaching the max. Now, all I had to do was figure out how to break up with him peacefully. But I didn't have to worry about it for long. Someone else was more desperate than I was. Annie disappeared. … It poured rain on my 22nd birthday. I stood under an umbrella outside a fancy restaurant, waiting for Jaxon. Couples holding hands and whispering sweet nothings walked past me, one after another, until I was the only one left, standing alone in the cold. I waited from eight o’clock until well after eleven. He finally showed up. No apology, just his eyes glued to his phone as he texted furiously. “Something came up, I’m late,” he said dismissively. “Just got back from the countryside with some of the guys. We can’t get a hold of Annie.” “The dorm manager won’t let you in? Did you try talking to her?” Jaxon looked up from his phone, exasperated. “God, your hearing. Fine, fine, let’s go up. Happy birthday. I didn’t have time to get you a gift today.” “I’ve given you enough over the past two years. You should be set.” “How did you know I made you a cherry cream roll cake?” I pulled the cake box out from behind my back, holding it out to him with both hands. The fresh scratches and burns on my hands from baking made him frown instinctively. “You mentioned liking them in a post the other day. So I made one for you!” I said with a bright smile. “Just having you here to celebrate with me is the best gift ever.” Just last week, Jaxon had posted something cryptic: Someone special is mad at me. Looks like it’s going to take a cherry cream roll cake to fix it. That post was still pinned at the top of his profile. So hard to guess who that was about. “Leah.” Jaxon said my name suddenly, his voice rough. “You’re such an idiot, you know that?” He pulled me into his arms, kissing my forehead gently before stuffing his phone into his pocket. “Let’s go up first. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. We’ll celebrate your birthday another day. Anything you want, I’ll buy it for you, okay?” We stepped into the elevator. Then, as if by some cruel twist of fate, his phone buzzed. He glanced at the screen, and his face went rigid. May you have a life of peace and happiness. Goodbye. It was from Annie. The moment the elevator doors slid open, Jaxon looked at me, his eyes filled with conflict. Finally, he pried my fingers from his sleeve. “Leah, you… just get something to eat by yourself, then head back, okay?” “I have to go. It’s important.” “Oh, here.” He pulled a thick wad of cash from his pocket and shoved it into my hand. “Take this.” Annie’s family lived in a rural area. This was probably the emergency cash he’d brought with him to search for her. As I watched his retreating back, I calmly lifted my head and pulled out my phone, sending a quick text to my roommates. The fancy restaurant is on the third floor. The bar is on the fifth. Remember those free male strippers we missed out on last time? Looks like tonight’s our lucky night. I lifted the cake box in my hand and gave it a little shake. It wasn’t a cherry roll cake. It was an ice cream birthday cake I’d bought for myself. I knew he wouldn’t open it. He felt too guilty. My real birthday party was just getting started. … Right as the party hit its peak at midnight, I got a text from an unknown number. The one who isn’t loved is the other woman. Between the two of us, who do you think he’ll choose in the end? I knew instantly it was Annie, trying to provoke me. I smiled. Fine by me. I date him. I spend his money. You marry him. She wasn’t an enemy. She was a saint, sent to solve my problems for me. 7 I saw Jaxon again in a large lecture for four different classes. He’d been off the grid for a week. No texts, no calls. When he finally resurfaced, his only explanation was a curt, “My phone was broken.” Sitting right beside him, looking timid and innocent, was Annie. They and their group had arrived early and taken up an entire row, leaving no space for me. I had to find another seat. Just as I turned to leave, Annie shot up from her chair, her voice dripping with false sincerity. “Leah, don’t go! The seat next to Jax will always be yours. I’m the one who should leave.” “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you were coming to this class.” The classroom was noisy. I turned back to her and replied, “It’s okay. I know you’re a sweet girl who just happens to love getting cozy with other people’s boyfriends.” Annie flinched, biting her lip helplessly. Jaxon glanced up at me, his eyes a clear warning. “I’m sorry. I apologize to you, Leah.” “Oh, so you know you’re a pathetic slut? Good. At least you’re self-aware—” “Leah! That’s enough!” Jaxon’s face was dark. He pointed to a seat in the front row and yelled, his voice booming over the chatter, “You. Sit. There.” “First come, first served.” A triumphant smirk touched Annie’s lips. First come, first served. She was hinting at her history with Jaxon. Childhood friends, inseparable. A bond no one could break. She must have been ecstatic. … The professor didn’t lecture for long, instead giving us a pop quiz that would count towards our final grade. As the room fell silent, the gossip from Jaxon’s friends drifted clearly to my ears. “Hey, how did you know Annie would be in that park? She was missing for like, two weeks.” “I heard some old ladies out for their morning walk found you two, and you weren’t even finished. C’mon, tell us, was it hot doing it in public?” “When you’re done with her, let us have a turn. I’m into girls like that—” Before he could finish, Jaxon exploded, launching himself up and punching his friend square in the face. “Say that again, I fucking dare you! I’ll kill you!” “Annie is a good girl! Who the hell do you think you are, talking about her like that?!” The entire class froze, dozens of pairs of eyes staring at them. Our dear “good girl” Annie, who loved wearing thongs and sticking to boys like glue, just lowered her eyes demurely and gave Jaxon a soft punch on the back. The silence was deafening. I stared at Jaxon, and my eyes began to well up. I quickly gathered my things and fled through the back door, as if staying one more second would make the tears fall. Truthfully… I had to run through every sad memory I’ve ever had just to squeeze out a single tear. Annie was playing her cards perfectly. Wasn’t that how I won Jaxon’s heart in the first place? By playing the victim? Don’t worry, sis, I thought. I’ve already paved the road for you. You just go ahead and walk it.
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