The day our final high school grades were released, Reina threw a huge celebration party for Alex. But she didn't invite me. Later, when her meticulously planned drone light show over the Hudson River made local headlines, I quietly changed my college application from Columbia to NYU. Eighteen years of being inseparable, and in the end, I lost out to the new guy. I never thought the person I would lose to would be the underprivileged student I had personally vouched for. And this time, I don’t think I can ever forgive Reina. 1 I only found out about the party because someone in our class group chat accidentally posted and then quickly deleted a video. The moment Alex saw his grades, he let out a whoop of joy and swept Reina into a massive hug. "Reina! I can go to Columbia with you!" Reina didn't push him away. She just smiled and slipped a wristband with a small, silver "King" charm onto his wrist. "Congratulations," she said. In the background of the noisy video, our classmates were all cheering for him. It felt less like a celebration of his grades and more like they were celebrating him and Reina finally getting together. And there I was, staring at my phone, the punchline to a joke I didn't even know I was in. I hesitated for a second, then called her. After two rings, a voice I didn't expect answered. It was Alex. "Hey, Liam. Reina's in the bathroom. She's been running around all night planning this party for me, this is the first break she's had." He paused, realizing his mistake. "Actually, I told her to invite you, but she said you might be bummed about your scores, so she didn't want to bother you." "I'll have her call you back, okay?" "Whoa..." I heard him gasp, like he had just seen something incredible. I didn't care what it was. "Don't bother," I said, my voice flat. "You guys have fun." I hung up. A local news notification popped up on my phone. A drone show over the Hudson. When I saw the image of the drones spelling out "CONGRATULATIONS ALEX - COLUMBIA BOUND," I understood his gasp. A gesture that grand, that public… what guy wouldn't fall for that? I glanced at my computer screen. A perfect 1600. I had worked my ass off for the past six months. I could get into Columbia, no problem. I could get into any school I wanted. Once, going to Columbia together was our plan, our promise. After Reina got in through early decision, that promise became a heavy weight on my shoulders, making every practice test a source of anxiety. But now, it seemed like I was the only one who even remembered that promise. And there was no point in keeping it anymore. 2 The next day, I slept in until noon. I called my parents and told them my score. My dad wired me ten grand and told me to "go celebrate, buy yourself something nice." My mom, after a brief silence when I told her I was choosing NYU, finally spoke. "I thought you were going to choose Columbia. With Reina there, I wouldn't have to worry about you." She sighed. "But, if you have your own reasons, I support you completely." "Yeah, Mom. I can take care of myself," I said, ending the call quickly. After my parents divorced and remarried, having new kids with their new spouses, I became the baggage neither of them wanted. I thought I was used to it after all these years. But hearing her say that… it still stung. Because now, even Reina wasn't going to be by my side anymore. 3 That afternoon, I was in the backyard, watering the roses, when Reina called to me from over the fence. "You seem to be in a good mood. What did you get?" she asked, yawning. She was still in her pajamas, her voice casual. She probably didn't actually care about my score. If she did, she wouldn't have waited until the next afternoon to ask. "1600," I said quietly. "That's great!" she said, her voice suddenly bright, like she was genuinely happy for me. "So you can come to Columbia with us!" That one word—"us"—twisted something in my gut. It was like she had only ever wanted Alex to go with her, and I was just an unexpected, and maybe unwanted, addition. I was about to tell her I wasn't going to Columbia, but then Alex stumbled out of her back door, stretching. He was wearing one of her oversized t-shirts and a pair of pink pajama pants that were way too small for him, making him look like a kid in hand-me-downs. He saw me and ran over, his face beaming. "Liam, man, I'm so sorry. I was so excited yesterday, I completely forgot to ask you how you did." Of course he was excited. Reina's grand gesture had made him the talk of the town. Even if the drone show was old news by now, for them, it would be a memory that lasted forever. I looked at the pink pajamas again, and my good mood vanished. Their relationship was moving a lot faster than I had thought. Reina, sensing the awkwardness, tried to smooth things over. "Liam got a 1600. He can come to Columbia with us." Alex's smile faltered. "Wow, that's amazing. You did even better than me." He looked at me. "Do you know what you want to major in?" I was still stuck on "with us." "I don't know," I said irritably. "With this score, I can probably pick whatever I want." "Liam, don't be rude," Reina said, frowning at me like she was scolding a child. Alex quickly jumped in. "Liam comes from a wealthy family; he can just choose whatever he's passionate about. For me, I have to think about my future career, job prospects… it's so hard to choose." "Don't worry," Reina said, reaching up to ruffle his hair, her voice soft. "I'll help you figure it out." The casual intimacy of the gesture was like a slap in the face. As they walked away, Reina turned back. "Liam, you shouldn't talk to Alex like that. His family doesn't have the advantages we do. He's worked incredibly hard to get where he is." "And about yesterday," she continued, "the party ended really late, and he couldn't get back to his place in the suburbs, so he just crashed in my guest room. Don't read anything into it." "Besides," she added, "you're the one who told me to help him out." "Anyway, I'm really happy you got into Columbia." I turned off the hose, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. A half-assed explanation and a pat on the head. Was that all I was worth to her? So, Alex's struggle was a struggle, but mine wasn't? It was true, when I first introduced them, I had asked her to help him, to tutor him. I never thought he would end up replacing me in her life. I never thought my best friend, the girl I had grown up with, would one day say my full name with such a cold, dismissive tone, all for some other guy. But it was done. Three was a crowd, and someone had to be the one to gracefully exit. So, I wasn't going to Columbia. In a month, I would be gone, and Reina and I would be over. Forever. 4 I called a real estate agent and listed the house. I told him to price it slightly below market value, but that I would only accept a cash offer. He came over to take pictures and gently told me that finding a cash buyer for a house this size would be difficult in the current market. I just smiled. "That's fine. Just list it. I'll leave a key with you when I go to college." As I was showing him out, I saw Reina and Alex leaving. Alex saw me and immediately came over, all smiles. "Reina's taking me to get some stuff for my dorm room. Want to come?" He was wearing a brand-new, expensive-looking watch. A gift from Reina, no doubt. It was also obvious that he hadn't left her house in days. "Crashing for one night" had turned into moving in. But then I remembered that her parents were out of town on business, and it all made a sick kind of sense. Reina didn't second his invitation. She just pointed at the real estate agent's car. "Who was that?" "Oh, just someone from the city to fix a leaky pipe," I lied. Ever since I decided to leave, I had become a very good liar. I don't know if it was my acting, or if Reina just didn't care enough to question it. She just nodded and told me to take care of myself, then walked off with Alex, laughing and talking. The sight of their happiness was so sharp, so painful, that I had to turn away. And for the third time in my life, I felt a profound, aching loneliness in this big, empty house. The first time was when I was seven. My parents got divorced. My mom left with a single suitcase. Before she walked out the door, she knelt down and told me, "Your dad is busy. You need to learn to take care of yourself. If you need anything, go next door and ask Reina's mom." "And be polite," she added. "They'll like you more if you are." Reina's parents did treat me like their own son. And Reina… she always looked out for me. If there was a dish on the table that I liked, she would save it for me. I was a picky eater, and I hated carrots. She would sneak them out of my bowl when her mom wasn't looking and eat them herself, even though she hated them too. The second time was when I was ten. My dad remarried. His secretary, pregnant with a boy, he had confirmed. He was overjoyed. He bought a house in her hometown and moved there. Out of guilt, I guess, he transferred the deed to this house to my name before he left. He said he would come back and visit, but he rarely did. Even though he was never really around much before, the thought of being completely alone in this house on holidays was a new kind of lonely. Back then, Reina, afraid I would be sad, would come over every day with some new way to cheer me up. She would dress up in a Pikachu costume in the middle of summer and bring me cupcakes. Her mom would cook my favorite meals. Their warmth filled the void left by my own family. And slowly, over the years, my feelings for Reina changed into something more. In our freshman year of high school, she made me promise we would go to Columbia together. The look in her eyes was so sincere, I thought she felt the same way. I had planned to confess my feelings to her the day we both got our acceptance letters. Looking back now, I think I was just fooling myself. Reina was nice to me, but she was nice to everyone. Except for Alex. With him, she was more than nice. She was… everything. 5 Reina's parents came home early from their trip. Her mom immediately called and invited me over for dinner, saying her dad had a graduation gift for me. It was a new laptop, tablet, and phone, the exact same models as Reina's. I was grateful. Her dad was a quiet man, but he had always been kind to me. The thought of leaving them was the hardest part of this whole decision. But I would find a way to make it up to them someday. We were halfway through dinner when Reina and Alex finally came home. Alex immediately tried to hide behind Reina. Her dad's expression hardened. "How many times have I told you to be mindful of your boundaries with people? Bringing a boy home like this… what will people think?" Her mom, trying to keep the peace, gestured for them to sit down. "Let's just eat. After dinner, I'll have the driver take you home." She looked at Alex. "Your parents must be worried about you, right?" Alex didn't say anything. Under the table, he tugged on Reina's sleeve. She moved my favorite dish, a spicy stir-fried pork, in front of him. "Mom, Dad, I don't know why you're so hostile toward Alex," she said, her voice sharp. "Liam is over here all the time, and you've never said a word to him." "That's different, and you know it," her mom snapped. "How is it different?" Reina retorted. She glanced at me, a flicker of something in her eyes, but no apology. She stood up, grabbed Alex's hand, and pulled him toward the door. "I promised Alex I would show him every corner of this city this summer. If he's not welcome in this house, then we'll just stay somewhere else." Even though I had tried to prepare myself for this, hearing her say that, seeing her defend him so fiercely… it was like a punch to the gut. The special treatment, the favoritism I thought I had… it had never been for me. Her mom tried to comfort me after they left, but I couldn't hear her words. I just smiled and said, "It's okay. People grow up." And people grow apart. "Don't be too hard on her," I said. 6 I spent the next few days packing. After my parents left, there wasn't much in the house that was mine. The only room that took any time was my bedroom. One entire wall was covered in shelves, filled with gifts from Reina. Crystal snow globes, music boxes, Marvel action figures, limited edition sneakers… for a while, they had made me believe I was special to her, that I was the only one. But now, I realized she had probably just felt sorry for me. A sad, lonely boy who needed cheering up. Throwing them all away felt too cruel. I decided to leave them for the next owner. I just packed a few suitcases of clothes. Reina's parents eventually managed to get her to come home. As a compromise, they allowed her to take Alex out during the day, as long as she was home by six every night. We would sometimes run into each other, and she would always look at me with this hesitant, almost guilty expression. I think she blamed me. I think she thought that her parents' disapproval of Alex was somehow my fault. But who was there to care about my pain? 6 The night my acceptance letter arrived, Reina threw a small pebble at my window. It was a secret signal we had when we were kids. We hadn't used it since she and Alex had gotten close. I opened the window, a strange sense of nostalgia washing over me. Reina was standing in her yard, holding up her own acceptance letter, her face glowing. "Liam! It's here! Columbia, aerospace engineering!" Becoming an aerospace engineer had always been her dream. For a while, I had even considered majoring in the same thing, just so we could spend more time together. Now, all I could do was smile from my window and say, "Congratulations." "What about you?" she asked, tilting her head. "What did you end up choosing?" "Literature." She nodded. "That sounds like you." She pulled a handful of sparklers from her pocket and lit them. The sparks illuminated her beautiful face, making her look almost magical. "Congratulations on getting into Columbia, Liam," she said, her voice soft and hypnotic. "Thanks," I said, a dull ache in my chest. If I hadn't seen the drone show, I might have been fooled by this cheap, imitation romance. Goodbye, Reina. I did get into the literature program. Just not at Columbia. 7 I wanted to live off-campus, so as soon as my student visa was approved, I booked a flight to New York. Reina was too busy showing Alex the world to notice I was gone. I only said goodbye to her parents. I told them I was just going on a trip, not that I was leaving for good. The pace of life in New York was frantic, and the busyness of it all helped to numb the pain of leaving. But sometimes, I would find myself scrolling through my phone, looking at Alex's posts. While I was apartment hunting under the hot summer sun, he was posting pictures of him and Reina whitewater rafting. Caption: **"Cooling off this summer! First time rafting!"** Reina's comment: **"There will be many more times to come."** While I was eating a sad slice of pizza in a tiny diner, he was posting pictures of a fancy dinner at a restaurant at the top of the Empire State Building. Caption: **"It's lonely at the top. And a little hard to breathe. First time having dinner with a view like this."** Reina's comment: **"I'll help you check off every item on your wish list."** I turned off my phone, a cold sneer on my face. It wasn't the altitude that was making him dizzy. It was the intoxicating fantasy of marrying into money. The night I moved into my new apartment, on a strange impulse, I went through and liked every single one of his posts. Less than a minute later, I got messages from both of them. Reina: **"You little jerk. You went to New York without me?"** Alex: **"Reina told me you're in New York! Is it fun? I wish I could go. I'm so jealous you can just pick up and leave whenever you want."** Alex: **"By the way, Liam, school is starting soon. You're still going to sponsor me, right?"** I was defeated by his sheer audacity. He had already stolen the love of my life, and he still had the nerve to ask me for money for college. I was also angry at myself, for wasting even a second of my time on them. I left their messages on "read" and blocked them both. Finally, the world was quiet again.
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