1 The night I finished my graduate thesis defense, I told Claire we were done. “Because I helped Leo with his resume and not you?” She stirred her coffee, a small, amused smile on her face. “Yes.” “Fine.” She shrugged. “Don’t come crawling back.” We’d met when we were five. We were inseparable. We were us. She was completely, utterly convinced I couldn't live without her. She didn't know I’d already polished my own resume. She didn't know I’d already landed a job. She didn't know it was in Boston. This time, I was actually leaving. … “Seriously, Alex? All this, just because I looked at his resume?” The afternoon sun cut across the café table, highlighting the perfect, bored indifference on Claire’s face. “Yes,” I said. “I’m serious. We’re breaking up.” She propped her chin on her hand, that familiar, indulgent look in her eyes. “What number is this? The eighth time you’ve broken up with me? Ninth?” I flinched. She leaned back. “Tenth? Alex, stop it. It’s been eighteen years. You can’t leave me.” “I can,” I said. “People leave people. We’ll both be fine.” “Okay.” She nodded, still smiling. “Fine. Don’t regret it.” “I won’t.” I stood up and nearly collided with Leo. He was clutching a manila envelope to his chest. “Claire, I got the callback from Bain!” he said, his eyes wide. “I... I’m really worried about the case study round. Do you think… could you just... look at my strategy…?” Claire didn’t answer, her gaze fixed on me. The old Alex would have snapped. The old Alex would have said, “What the hell does she have to do with your interview?” But I was just… tired. I turned to leave. Leo physically stepped in my way. “Alex, wait. It’s not what you think. Claire and I are just friends.” He bit his lip, mastering that look of wounded innocence. “My family… they don’t know about this stuff. This job is everything for a guy like me. You can’t be mad at her for this. She’s been up until midnight all week doing mock interviews with me. Her voice is completely shot…” I snapped. “Oh, just ‘friends’? Are ‘friends’ the ones you call to take you to urgent care when you have a 101-degree fever? Are ‘friends’ the people you text photos of new ties to, asking which one she likes better? Are ‘friends’ the ones who are magically having a crisis every single time she and I have a date night?” “Are you an orphan, Leo? Do you have no other human contacts? You know you’re not her boyfriend. You’re the son of her family’s driver. Don’t you understand what 'boundaries' are, or do you just not care?” He froze. His face crumpled, and his eyes immediately filled with tears. He hung his head, his shoulders starting to shake. “Alex.” Claire’s voice was sharp. She was on her feet, handing him a napkin. “I know you have a mean streak, but don’t take it out on him. He’s a nice guy.” A single tear splashed onto the table. The café was silent. I suddenly felt nothing. I was hollowed out. I walked out, leaving the two of them in that suffocating cloud of his "helplessness." 2 I went home and slept for twelve hours. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was a new post on Leo’s Instagram. “Feeling a little down, so they took me to my first-ever poker night. So out of my element! Thanks for being so patient and not minding that I’m just a poor kid who only knows how to study. Guess the poker table is a different kind of education.” The photo was a close-up of the table. A small hand giving a “V” sign (his), next to a stack of chips being pushed forward by another, more elegant hand. On the wrist of that elegant hand was the limited-edition Patek Philippe I’d saved for a year to buy Claire for her 25th birthday. My phone buzzed. A text from Claire. “Send me your resume. I have a minute now. I’ll look it over.” It had been five hours. Five hours since she’d left the café, gone to a poker game with him, and only now was she remembering me. I stared at her contact photo. Me, at the base of a ski lift, laughing. She’d used it for years. I held my thumb over the screen. Then I went into settings, and I blocked her. Half an hour later, I was downstairs. My uncle (I’ve lived with him since my parents died) was watching the game. “Eyes are red, kid. You okay?” “Slept too long,” I mumbled. “You earned a rest,” he said, sliding a beer over. “You should be proud. But I gotta say, Claire’s got it easy. Her family just… placed her at Astra. Right in the executive training program.” “Meanwhile, you’re killing yourself to get a local offer just to be in the same city as her. I see you, Alex. Up all night.” I put the bottle down. “I’m not taking the local offer. I already accepted one. Top-tier consulting. In Boston.” He muted the TV. “Boston? That’s… what about Claire?” “I’m done trying to split myself in two, Uncle Joe.” I said. “It’s a huge opportunity. If the background check clears, I’m gone next week.” He just nodded. My phone buzzed again. My buddy, Ben, hitting me up for a grad-night party. “Go,” my uncle said, turning the volume back up. “Go be a kid.” 3 The club was packed. Ben told me to grab the first round. I was at the bar, trying to get the bartender's attention, when I heard her voice from a VIP booth right behind me. “Claire, you’ve been staring at your phone for an hour. What’s up?” “He blocked me.” Claire’s voice. Bored. A little annoyed. “Who? Who’s got the balls to block you?” “Who do you think? My own personal pain-in-the-ass.” “Alex?” The friend sounded shocked. “Honestly, Claire, besides you, who could even put up with his temper?” Claire laughed. A low, smoky sound. “I’m the one who spoiled him. What can I do? It’s my cross to bear.” “What’d he do this time?” “Got mad because I helped Leo with his resume.” “That’s it?” The friend was incredulous. “Jesus. But seriously, though… we were all talking. We all need a guy like Leo. Sweet, thoughtful, polite. Always thinking of others…” I didn't stick around to hear the rest. I got the drinks and went back to our table. And, of course, Leo was there. In a server’s uniform. Ben was already pissed. “We ordered Black Label. This is Jack Daniel’s. Alex is allergic to Jack. He can’t drink this.” Leo’s face flushed. “I’m sorry, it’s… it’s been so busy, I must have mixed up the order.” “So go fix it,” Ben said. “I… I can’t. I’ve already voided two checks tonight. If I void another, I’ll be fired. And… and my manager is gone.” He looked at me, his eyes wide and pleading. “Alex, please. It was my mistake. But… it’s just one bottle. You guys… you can afford it. Just this once, could you help me out?” I sat down. “Let me get this straight. You screwed up. And I have to pay for it? And I don't even get a drink?” “It’s only, like, sixty bucks,” he whispered, "It's just... I really need this job. I have to save up for my apartment deposit..." “And if you need your job so bad, why aren’t you better at it?” I said. “If Ben hadn’t noticed and I'd taken a sip of that, I’d be in an ambulance right now. And you want me to pay you for the privilege?” Ben chimed in. “He’s right, man. That’s a messed-up ask.” It was, objectively, his fault. But he just stood there, his face crumbling, as if we were the bullies. “You… you rich kids…” he choked out. “You just… you love looking down on people, don’t you?” He grabbed the tray, tears streaming down his face, and bolted. He ran right into Claire, who was on her way over. “Leo? What’s wrong? Who did this?” She saw us. “He brought the wrong order,” Ben said, standing up. “Jack instead of Black Label. Alex is allergic. And then he tried to make us pay for his mistake.” “It was an accident,” Leo mumbled, hiding behind her. “Claire, it’s not a big deal,” one of her friends said, following her. “They’re just rich kids pulling rank.” “It is a big deal,” Ben shot back. “Alex’s allergy is serious. He was in the ICU last year.” Claire looked at me. Her brow furrowed. “Did you drink any?” I scoffed. “Do you want me to? Would that make this more exciting for you?” She walked over, her voice low. “Alex, stop it. You didn’t drink it. He made a mistake. He’s new. He’s under pressure. Don’t take your bad mood about me out on him. It’s not easy for him.” “You think… you think I’m doing this because of you?” I laughed. “You think you’re the center of the universe. He’s the one who screwed up, and he’s the victim? Is your head on straight?” “Claire, it’s fine,” Leo whispered, tugging on her sleeve. “I’ll… I’ll pay for it. I just won't eat this week. Don’t fight…” I was going to be sick. “Oh, save the martyr act. You did this, now you’re playing the saint? You’re pathetic.” “Alex.” Claire’s voice went cold. “That’s enough.” She turned to Leo. “Put the Jack on our tab. Get them a new bottle of Black Label, and put that on my tab, too.” “Forget it,” I said, grabbing my jacket. “I’m out. Ben, let’s go.” I heard someone from her booth mutter as I left. “God, what a drama queen.” 4 “Sorry, man,” Ben said as we hit the street. “I should have just bought a new bottle. I just... I hate that guy.” “It’s not your fault,” I said. “Why should we pay for him to be a victim?” I stopped walking. “I wasn’t lying, Ben. I broke up with her this afternoon.” He just watched me. “You don’t believe me.” He sighed. “Alex, no one believes you’ll ever really leave her. Can you? Honestly?” Can I? I let him get in his Uber and told my driver to drop me a few blocks from my uncle’s house. I needed to walk. This was the street. The one where I first met her. I was five. My parents had just died. They were speeding home for my birthday, and a truck... I was staying with my uncle, and the neighborhood kids whispered. “That’s him. The kid who made his parents drive in the storm.” “He killed them.” I... I didn’t want to be here. I went to the pond in the park. I just… walked in. And she pulled me out. This little girl with a fierce scowl and a scraped knee. She followed me home. She followed me everywhere. She said she was my knight. She was going to protect me. My parents' death made me... mean. I hated myself, so I hated everyone else. I threw rocks at her. I told her to go away. She wouldn’t. When the kids called me an orphan, she tackled the biggest one. She got a black eye. “I’m his family now!” she yelled. When they left, I just stared at her. “You’re not my family.” “I will be,” she said, spitting out a little blood. “You just have to marry me. Then my parents will be your parents.” I think that was it. That was the moment. I pulled her to her feet. We were five years old. And we held hands. And we didn’t let go for eighteen years. Until Leo. It was our first year of grad school. He was the son of her family’s longtime driver. Smart, got a scholarship, and was staying in their guest house. The first time I felt it... it was Claire’s birthday. I was hiding in her closet to surprise her. She came in, but she wasn't alone. It was Leo. “Happy birthday, Claire. I… I made this for you. It’s a model of your family’s beach house.” He sounded so shy. “It’s not… it’s not expensive, like what Alex gets you. But I... I stayed up all week working on it.” “It’s beautiful, Leo,” she said. “A gift you make is the most precious.” I stepped out of the closet. “What’s that supposed to mean? My gifts aren't 'precious' because I buy them?” He jumped. “No! I didn't mean…” Claire shooed him out. “Alex, what is wrong with you?” “I don't like him.” “His mom is sick. His dad’s salary is all they have. He’s brilliant, but he’s drowning. My dad just asked me to… to look out for him.” It was only supposed to be for a little while. But he was… always… there. He’d show up at her apartment when I was there, needing help with a paper. He’d have a "crisis" when we were supposed to be celebrating. A burst pipe. A lost wallet. He’d text her, constantly, while she and I were at dinner. And if I got mad, he’d just... look down. He’d get quiet. He’d make me the bully. Even Claire... “Alex, it’s just... it’s nothing. I’m just helping him. He’s not you. Why are you so jealous?” I hated him. I hated that he made me the bad guy. I hated that she let him. I tried. I broke up with her. I’d storm off. And then I’d... I’d miss her. The real her. My knight. The girl who held my hand. And I’d go back. Ben was right. I couldn’t leave her. It was like tearing my own arm off. Until last month. My capstone project... the one I'd worked on for a year... was imploding. A rival team was trying to poach my data. I was up for 72 hours, drowning. I needed her. I needed my partner. I called. Ten times. Straight to voicemail. I finally fixed it. At 4 AM. Alone. I found out later where she was. She was at the library... helping Leo practice for a mid-term interview. A mid-term. Not even a final. She never even knew I was in trouble. That’s when I knew. Leaving… it wasn’t going to hurt at all.
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