Cole is five years older than me, but I never called him "bro." I’ve watched him cycle through girlfriend after girlfriend. And for every single one, I’ve had to smile, be polite, and treat them like they were already part of the family. On my twenty-second birthday, I waited all day. Cole never showed. So, I made a wish: I was done loving him. Later that night, I was taking the trash out when I saw a familiar figure. It was Cole’s best friend, Julian. “Julian? What are you doing here?” “Cole got held up. He asked me to drop off your gift.” “Oh. Thanks. Where’s yours?” He smiled. “I brought two. Which one I give you depends on your answer to a question.” He looked at me, his smile fading a little. “Mia, it’s exhausting, isn't it? Loving him. Why don’t you try someone else? Be my girlfriend.” 1 I just stared at him. When did he figure out I was in love with Cole? I thought I’d hidden it perfectly. I never, ever let on that I was jealous. “Julian, I don't know what you're talking about.” He pressed his lips together, still trying to smile, but his eyes were nervous. “Okay, let me rephrase. Mia, I like you. I want to know if you'll give me a chance to date you.” But he’s Cole’s best friend. I was five when I first met Cole, and Julian was right there with him. We’ve all known each other for seventeen years. I stared at his face, and my birthday wish from a few hours ago echoed in my head. My staring made him laugh. “What, you’re looking at me like I just created a huge problem for you.” I shook my head. Not a problem. Just a shock. Julian was nothing like Cole. In all the years I’d known him, I’d never seen him with a girlfriend. For a while, I’d even wondered if he and Cole were a thing. But Cole… Cole always had someone. Thinking of him, I felt that familiar, sharp sting. I looked at Julian. “Funny. My birthday wish tonight was to finally start dating. And then you show up. You must be a sign from the universe.” “So, okay. Let’s do it. Let’s date.” Julian froze. He clearly hadn't expected me to say yes. After a second, he broke into a real smile. He turned, reached into his car, and pulled out a beautifully wrapped box. He handed it to me. “This one is for my girlfriend.” 2 I opened it right there. It was a necklace, delicate and covered in tiny, glittering diamonds. It looked expensive. “Julian, this is too much.” I knew his family had money, but his past birthday gifts were always in the same price range as Cole's. Something I could afford to reciprocate. He stepped closer and ruffled my hair. “It’s for you. It’s fine.” As he got near, I caught his scent. It was different from Cole’s. Sharper, colder, like iced lemon. I subtly stepped back, trying to figure out how to give it back to him, when his phone rang. “Hey, man. You give her the gift?” The night was quiet. I could hear Cole’s voice perfectly through the speaker. And, underneath it, the sound of a girl laughing. “Yeah, she got it,” Julian said. He was still watching me. I felt awkward and looked away, but I couldn't help listening. “Good. I called Mia, she didn't pick up. Thought she was pissed.” Julian chuckled. “No, she was just taking the trash out. Didn’t have her phone.” “Yeah, you’re right. She’s sweet, she never stays mad at me. Wait… how did you know she didn't have her phone? Is she right there with you? Put her on.” I looked up, my eyes wide in panic. I had just agreed to date him. This was already a mess. But Julian just turned away slightly, his voice dropping. “She can’t talk. What do you want me to tell her?” “Just tell her happy birthday. And that she should really try to get a boyfriend this year. Every time I take her out with me, I have to explain to people that she’s not my girlfriend.” Cole’s voice was teasing, but his words were a casual, public announcement of my humiliation. I dug my nails into my palms. Julian’s voice was quiet but firm. “That won't be a problem anymore.” Cole was silent for two seconds. His voice was cold when he spoke again. “What does that mean? She’s dating someone?” Julian stepped forward and took my free hand. I tried to pull it away, but he laced his fingers tightly through mine. He looked me right in the eyes. “Yeah,” he said into the phone. “She's with me. She's my girlfriend now. So if you’re done, I'm hanging up.” 3 He hung up, but he didn't let go of my hand. “Are you busy tomorrow?” I stared at the pavement. “No.” “Good. I'll pick you up. It's cold out here, you should go inside.” I nodded. The second he released my hand, I turned and practically ran for the lobby. “Mia!” he called out. I stopped, but I couldn't make myself turn around. “You're not going to change your mind by morning, are you?” “No,” I said. “Good. Because if you did, I’d just have to keep pestering you until you said yes again.” My face burned. I rushed into the elevator. Back in my apartment, I saw the missed calls from Cole. And a stream of texts. [Happy birthday, Mia.] [Sorry I got tied up. Julian was in town for work, so I asked him to drop off your gift.] [You’re with him?] [When did this happen??] [Why didn't you tell me?] [I've never even seen you two talk. How are you dating?] [Is he pressuring you? You're too nice to say no. Don't worry, Mia. I'll talk to him.] I stared at the screen. My chest felt tight. I wasn't sure what I was feeling. Revenge? Guilt? Or just the same old, bitter disappointment. I thought for a long time, then just typed back: [Yeah.] He immediately tried a video call. I declined. [Mia, have you really thought this through?] Yes. I'm done loving you. [Do you even like him?] I didn't know. The Julian I knew was always the quiet one at parties, polite but distant. He was gorgeous, with that cool, reserved vibe that always made girls try to talk to him. Tonight, he’d confessed to me. It was shocking. Now that I was calm, I realized I’d probably said yes on impulse. But… maybe Julian wasn't a bad choice. My phone rang again. Cole. I fumbled it and accidentally answered. “Mia? Are you really with Julian?” He sounded frantic. So he can panic. I just said, "Yeah." I heard him swear. “Is he forcing you? That asshole. He knows you’re my… my sister. How could he?!” "Mia, don't worry, I'll handle this—" I cut him off. “He's not forcing me. He said he liked me. So I said yes.” And you never did, I thought. So why are you so angry? His ranting stopped cold. I heard a muffled crash, like something breaking. In the background, a girl’s high-pitched voice: “Cole! What's wrong?” Suddenly, all those complicated feelings vanished. Cole could belong to any of those women. He just couldn't belong to me. I should have accepted that years ago. I looked down at the glittering necklace from Julian. My voice was quiet. “Cole, I thought you’d be happy for me.” I’d always just called him Cole. He used to tease me for it, saying I was rude, that I should call Julian "Julian" but call him "big brother." Now I was using the name he wanted, and he was even angrier. There was a rustling sound. Cole’s voice was tight. “Mia, wait for me. I'm coming back. We’ll talk in person.” He hung up. A new text popped up immediately. It was from Julian. [Mia, if Cole comes back to find you... don't go soft on me, okay?] [Give me a chance. Even if it's just for one week. Please?] I pictured Julian’s face as he typed that, probably a mix of helplessness and... fondness. I couldn’t help it. I smiled. I texted back: [Okay.] 4 At nine the next morning, Julian called. “Morning. You up?” My brain was still fuzzy. “Huh? What’s up, Julian?” I heard him laugh softly. “Wow. You forget already?” It hit me. The date. I shot up in bed. “Ah! No! I didn't forget! I'm getting up right now!” His laugh was warmer this time. “It's okay, relax. Take your time. Just text me when you’re ready.” After I hung up, my heart was pounding. I buried my face in my hands. Every other time I’d seen Julian, Cole was there. Oh, crap. Cole. He said he was coming back. This was getting messy. Why was he freaking out? He didn't even like me. He was with another girl last night. I took a deep breath, put Cole’s texts on mute, and forced myself to stop thinking about him. I agreed to this. I should at least see it through. When I got downstairs, Julian’s car was already there. He was leaning against the door, tall and impossibly elegant in a wool coat. He looked casual, but the moment he saw me, he smiled and pushed off the car. “Sorry, Julian, I slept in.” “It’s okay,” he said. “So, how are you going to make it up to me?” I wasn't expecting that. I froze. “Uh... I’ll buy you lunch?” He smiled and took my hand. “Okay. But I was hoping you’d agree to one more thing.” My first date, and I was already late. I felt like I had to say yes. “Sure. As long as I can do it.” “Change what you call me. Don’t call me Julian.” “Oh. Then… what?” “Jules.” He said it, then looked down at me, a hopeful look on his face. Jules. I tried it in my head. It felt way too familiar. “J-Jules,” I whispered. He heard me. His smile widened, and he answered, very seriously, “Yeah. I'm here.” Setting aside the fact that we were dating, Julian’s face, when he smiled, was seriously lethal. Especially when you knew you were the one who caused it. I blushed and changed the subject. “We should get that lunch. I’m starving.” “Right,” he said, and laced his fingers through mine. He seemed to like that. He’d done the same thing last night. I wasn't used to it. After lunch, he took me to an art exhibit. “Jules, don't you have work? You said you were on a business trip. We can skip this.” Julian's family wanted him to take over the family business, but he'd insisted on starting his own company first. Every party I’d ever seen him at, he was on his phone, answering emails, and always left early. He was the definition of a workaholic. But today, he hadn't looked at his phone once. He just shrugged. “Finished everything last night. Today is all yours.” My face felt hot. “Jules, I’m not a kid. You don’t have to entertain me.” “Oh, I know. I’m the kid. I need you to entertain me.” God, my face was on fire.
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