After my gaming buddy rejected my request to duo for the third time, I sent him a tearful plea: [Baby, let's get back together. I miss you so much. This season is too hard to rank up alone.] As soon as I hit send, my message popped up on the livestream of the hottest new pro gamer, Silas Thorne. The usually cold and aloof Silas suddenly looked like he was about to cry. Through the screen, I heard his inner thoughts: [It's over. Was that message meant for her ex-boyfriend?] [Did she send it to me by mistake?] [If they get back together, what am I supposed to do?!] [Sob... I haven't even had the chance to confess yet...] Me: ??? Wait, is he calling me "Baby"? 1 I'm a famous actress. But nobody knows my secret: I'm a hardcore gamer. If I can't game, I might as well be dead. Not only that, I'm also a toxic flamer online. Like right now... "Are you playing with your feet? Sprinkling rice on the keyboard and letting a chicken peck at it would produce better gameplay than this." "Why do you keep spamming surrender? Are you allergic to winning?" "Even a bot would play better than you. Did you buy your account on eBay?" I stared at our jungler's 0-10 scoreline, seething with rage. He was playing my favorite hero, Kai'Sa, and absolutely butchering her. It felt like a personal insult. I turned on my mic and unleashed a five-minute tirade without taking a breath. Just as I inhaled to start round two, a calm, clear male voice came through the channel: "Sorry, my little cousin was playing just now. Don't worry, we'll win now that I'm here." I laughed, incredulous. Bad score, so blame the little cousin? "Why don't you say your 80-year-old grandma was playing? With those excuse-making skills, you should be a politician, bro." Before I could finish, the jungler dove into the enemy team. I was about to mock his suicide mission when Kai'Sa executed a flawless combo, dashing around like a ghost. What?? Triple kill? My insult died in my throat. The jungler sighed. "Please stop talking. It's distracting." This guy thinks he's all that? I was ready to keep flaming, but another perfect bush ambush left me speechless. The second half of the game became his solo highlight reel. His score went from 0-10 to 20-10. Before I knew it, the enemy nexus exploded. We won? Just like that? 2 I clicked into the post-game screen in a daze. A notification popped up: [Player "Hell's Ladykiller" wants to add you as a friend.] I accepted immediately. I knew what this was! He wasn't done; he wanted to 1v1 me in a flame war? Bring it on! I've never lost a trash-talking contest. But then I saw his message. [My cousin broke his arm, so he was playing badly. I apologize on his behalf.] I sat up straight in bed. I wanted to slap myself. I am a monster! I typed frantically: [I'm so sorry! I didn't know! I shouldn't have been so rude...] He sent a voice message. It was a kid's voice, sniffling: "It's okay, big sister. I was just too bad at the game." I froze. Disaster. I made a kid cry! Guilt washed over me. I reflected hard on my life choices and immediately started groveling. [Actually, I just have a foul mouth. Can I send you some money? Kid, please stop crying. Add me on WeChat, I'll buy you snacks and bubble tea. Don't be mad at me. Want a skin? I'll gift you one.] I sent my contact info. After a long silence, he replied: [Is that profile picture you?] My WeChat profile picture has always been a childhood photo of me. I was a chubby kid, looking nothing like the glamorous star I am now. No one would ever connect the two. So I replied honestly: [Yeah, why?] He sent another voice message. It was the mature guy's voice again: "Nothing, just thought it was cute. My cousin is okay now, he went home. Want to play more? I'll carry you." Huh? Did his voice just get... softer? It sounded even better than before. I didn't think too much about it. [OK, let's duo.] 3 "Hell's Ladykiller" was cracked. We played ten games that afternoon and won every single one. And he was so considerate. If I played mid, he gave me the blue buff. If I played ADC, he let me take all the farm. I was grinning from ear to ear. This was glorious! I never thought I'd find such a perfect gaming partner! For the next month, whenever I wasn't filming, I invited him to play. He never said no. Our conversations were minimalist. [Game?] [Coming.] By the end of the season, we both hit the highest rank, Challenger. Hehe. I even changed my ID to "Gloomy Bro-Protector." You know how it is. Duo partners need matching IDs. 4 Sadly, the fun couldn't last forever. I had to work. Filming was wrapping up, and I was swamped. I didn't log on for days. On the day we wrapped, I collapsed in the dressing room and finally checked my phone. Hell's Ladykiller: [Game?] It was that time of the month. I clutched my stomach and rolled over. [Can't. Worked all day, exhausted. Plus cramps. No energy.] He was brief as always: [Got it. Address?] I sent a question mark. But I sent the location anyway, joking: [Coming to gank me IRL? Too bad I'm in the middle of nowhere. You'll never find me.] He sent a cute cat sticker. He stole that from me! Copycat. But soon, I found out why he wanted the address. A delivery guy grabbed the director's megaphone and yelled across the set: "WHO IS GLOOMY BRO-PROTECTOR? YOUR DELIVERY IS HERE!" I never thought hearing my gamer tag in public would be this humiliating. I fled the scene and made my assistant pick it up. The bag weighed five pounds. Bubble tea, strawberry cake, shrimp dumplings, stomach meds, ibuprofen... everything. I stared at it and sent him a photo. [You bought this?] [Yeah. Rest well. Health is more important than gaming.]

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