On a dating show, I got a call from a scammer. Suddenly, a text stream like a Twitch chat appeared in my vision. [Oh snap. Who’s getting their heart broken tonight?] [Wait, Chloe has a kid?!] [This wasn't in the script...] But I didn't have time for that. The person on the other end of the line wasn't saying anything, just howling: "Mooooom..." I covered the receiver and smiled awkwardly at the camera. "Wrong number. Definitely a wrong number." But then, chaos erupted on the other end. I heard glass shattering and a very distinct, very loud, beagle-like howl: "Arooooooo! Mom! Why don't you want me anymore?!" CRASH! Next to me, megastar Julian Stone dropped his glass of water. Then, the howling intensified. "Aroooo! Mom, I miss you..." "Aroooo! Bad man! Don't take my phone!" "Burp. Wifey, who is this naked guy in our house?" "Wifey! Say something!" Wait. That last voice. That sounds like my childhood friend, Liam. Shouldn't he be on a film set? Why is he at my house? And who is naked? Julian Stone started wailing like a strangled duck next to me. "Nooo! Chloe! How could you get married behind my back?!" The chat stream floated by again: [LMAO. Is she running a zoo?] [Just add Julian to the harem. They're missing a duck.] 1 I was on a dating reality show, Heartbeat Connection. The host prompted me to call my "crush." I was hesitating when my phone rang. The other guests started cheering. "Pick it up! Pick it up!" The host teased, "Maybe your crush couldn't wait and called you first!" The caller ID was an unknown number. I bit the bullet and answered. A howl blasted through the speaker. "Aroooo! Mom! You finally answered!" I sighed in relief and smiled at the camera. "Wrong number." But then, something weird happened. Floating text, like a live stream chat, appeared in the air in front of me. [Wait, Chloe has a kid?!] [This wasn't in the script...] [Oh snap. Who’s getting their heart broken tonight?] What the hell? Am I hallucinating? I rubbed my eyes. The text didn't disappear; it multiplied. But I had bigger problems. My phone was about to explode. Physically. The person on the other line was howling—a specific, mournful "Aroooo" that sounded exactly like a beagle I used to own. His name was Buster. The first time the cops came to my house was because of him. He screamed so tragically the neighbors thought I was torturing him. He was the most regretful purchase of my life. More than once, I thought about jumping off a bridge with him in my arms. The howling continued. "Aroooo! Mooooom!" "Aroooo! Aroooo! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!" The host tried to save me. "Probably a prank call." I snapped out of it and hung up. I gave an awkward smile to the camera. "Yeah, definitely a scammer." The host nodded. "Right, right. Our Chloe is so young and beautiful, how could she..." My phone rang again. I smiled awkwardly, stuck my hand in my pocket, and hit decline. Ring. Decline. Ring. Decline. Ring. After a few minutes, the host looked pained. "Maybe you should answer. It might be an emergency." I pulled out my phone with a grimace, praying to the PR gods. I already have enough haters. My career is just taking off... I pressed answer. A deafening "Aroooooo!" nearly ruptured my eardrum. "Aroooo! Mom, why aren't you answering? Don't you want me? Aroooo!" "Aroooo! Mom! Why did you abandon me?!" Besides the howling, there was the sound of destruction. Glass shattering, things falling. Flashbacks of Buster destroying my apartment hit me. Thank god that era is over. Feeling a sudden surge of empathy for whoever owned this chaotic creature, I said, "Baby, be good. Did you break something? Don't move, you might cut yourself. Wait for Mom to come home." The noise stopped. Then, sobbing. "Aroooo... so Mom didn't abandon Buster?" "Aroooo... Buster misses Mom." The chat stream went wild: [I don't know what's happening, but Chloe is so gentle! Love her!] [Does anyone else feel that motherly glow?] Then, CRASH! Next to me, Julian Stone, the A-list actor, dropped his glass. Then, more howling from the phone. "Aroooo! Mom, I miss you..." "Aroooo! Bad man! Don't take my phone!" The host laughed awkwardly. "Haha..." I laughed awkwardly. "Haha..." The chat: [HAHAHAHAHA] So awkward. Help. But the awkwardness broke instantly when a new voice came on the line. "Burp. Wifey, who is this guy? Why is he naked in our living room?" "Wifey! Say something!" Everyone on set perked up. Ears open. The chat exploded: [OMG! Is this content allowed?] [Abs? Did he say naked with abs? Show me!] [Tea! We want the tea!] Someone even yelled, "Chloe, put it on speaker!" I covered the mic with my hand. I didn't dare hang up, but I couldn't let them hear any more. Because I recognized the second voice. Liam. My childhood friend. Shouldn't he be filming a movie? Why is he at my house? And Julian was making it worse, sobbing like a dying duck. "Nooo! Chloe! How could you get married behind my back?!" The chat: [LMAO. Is she running a zoo?] [Just add Julian to the harem. They're missing a duck.] The host saw my face and cut the feed. She handed me water, then got called away by the director. I scurried to a corner and put the phone to my ear. "Hello? Liam? Is that you?" "It's me! It's me! Wifey!" I rubbed my temples. "Liam! How many times? Don't call me Wifey!" The chat floated by: [Nooo! The angst begins!] [Our puppy Liam is heartbroken. Sad. Childhood friends never win against the new guy.] [Better Liam than the scumbag who cheats on her and gets her killed by the mistress.] [Sob. Julian is okay too. He looks nice.] [Why does Chloe pick the trash men when she has flowers all around her?] 2 A few minutes later, the host came back, looking apologetic. I hung up on Liam, warning him to stop messing around. The chat: [Heartbreak for the puppy tonight.] [He took a ten-hour train in coach just to celebrate her birthday, and she hangs up on him.] [Justice for Liam!] The host scratched her head. "Chloe... Director Zhang wants to adjust the show's content." I nodded. "Sure. I'm flexible." She hesitated. "But... he wants to move the shoot to your house." "WHAT?!" I yelled. Everyone looked at me. I bowed apologetically and scanned the crowd for Director Zhang. "That's an extra fee," I muttered. Director Zhang popped up like a gopher. "Negotiable! As long as we can film there, money is no object." I slapped my own mouth. Stupid mouth. Then my agent came over to apply pressure. Director Zhang had promised to recommend me to Director Shen for his new movie. Director Shen. Oscar winner. His new film was Oscar bait. Getting an audition with him was impossible for regular actors. If I got the lead role... I could be the youngest Best Actress in history. The temptation was huge. My agent whispered, "Bad press is still press. Even if you have a wild man at home, it doesn't matter." "I trust your character. And your acting." "Chloe, you've waited so long for a break like this. You can't say no." I thought about it. Director Shen didn't care about gossip, only talent. Seeing me nod, Director Zhang jumped for joy. Before I knew it, I was in a van heading to my apartment. They confiscated my phone so I couldn't warn the "wild man" and "wild child" at home. According to a friend on the crew, the show had blown up. Viewership jumped from 5,000 to 120,000 as soon as they announced the location change. My heart was pounding the whole way. 3 Turning the key in the lock, I prayed: Please, nothing R-rated. Please. I pushed the door open. Something dark and heavy flew at my face. I didn't even see what it was before everything went black. I woke up to two incredibly handsome faces hovering over me, glaring at each other. The noise was unbearable. "Get out! Don't look at my wife!" "Aroooo! You get out! That's my Mom!" "Tch. Mom? Does Chloe admit she has a son this big?" "Pfft! Your 'mom' doesn't want you!" The chat: [HAHAHAHAHA] [They fight like elementary schoolers.] [Help, my eyes hurt from the beauty but my ears are bleeding.] I opened one eye. One face was Liam. The other... was a stranger. But he was just as hot as Liam. Liam is the youngest Best Actor winner. But this new guy... Wait, if I win Director Shen's role, I'll be the youngest Best Actress. So Liam will still be the youngest Best Actor? Whatever. Head hurts. The bickering continued. "Well, my mom didn't say you were her husband either." "My mom said men are trash." I jumped up and covered the howling guy's mouth. I smiled awkwardly at the camera. "He didn't mean that! We treat everyone equally here!" I looked around. The crew was hiding in corners, covering their ears. "STOP!" I yelled. They ignored me. I sat between them, grabbing a mouth in each hand to silence them. I slammed a Pringles can on the table like a gavel. "Shut your mouths!" I pointed the can at them. "Freeze. Whoever moves, I hate them." "I point, you speak." I pointed at Liam. "You first. Shouldn't you be on set? Why are you in my house?" Liam rubbed his butt, looking wronged. "I took leave. Not skipping." I banged the table. "Is that the point? Professionalism! You can't just leave!" Liam whispered, "But tomorrow is your birthday." The handsome stranger started howling. "Aroooo! Tomorrow is Buster's birthday too!" The chat: [Help! The second male lead is such a pure puppy.] [When will she realize he took the train for ten hours just for her birthday?] [Wait... who is the howling hot guy?!] [Is he... the dog? I remember Chloe had a beagle named Buster. His birthday is the same as hers.] My brain rebooted. The chat reminded me. I did have a beagle named Buster. I adopted him from a "Beagle Victims Alliance" group online. His birthday was June 22nd, same as mine. The owner gave him to me immediately when I commented. I tried to refuse, but they just said, "Open the door!" and dropped him off. I adopted him. And then I realized I was the victim. The piercing "Aroooo" brought me back. "Aroooo! Mom, why are you spacing out?" I looked at the 6'1", eight-pack having man calling me "Mom" and blushed. I looked away. "Don't call me Mom. Call me Chloe." He pounced, rubbing his fluffy head on my neck. "Aroooo! Why?! Mom doesn't want Buster anymore? Buster was good today!" "Buster pooped in the toilet! Didn't poop on the rug!" "And didn't steal chocolate!" He looked guilty. He definitely ate chocolate! I grabbed his jaw and tried to pry his mouth open. "Spit it out! Aroooo... barf..." "Aroooo! Mom, stop! Buster is human now! Humans can eat chocolate!" The chat: [He looks so pitiful with red eyes.] [Don't be fooled! That is the Demon King Beagle reincarnated!] [Too late! Open the door!] I pulled my hand back. "Oh. Right. Sorry." Wait! "So you knew dogs can't eat chocolate and you ate it anyway?!" I grabbed a slipper. He ran around the room. "Aroooo! Don't hit me! Buster knows he's wrong!" "It's not Buster's fault! Chocolate smells too good!" 4 I sat on the sofa, fuming. Liam on one side, Julian on the other. Yes, Julian Stone was here too. He had joined the chaos. One poured tea, the other fanned me. They told me not to be mad at the "idiot." I couldn't tell them the truth—that Buster was my dead dog reincarnated as a human. So I said he was a distant relative with "issues." The director had fled, leaving only the stationary cameras. The show had turned into a reality TV circus. 1.5 million viewers. Eventually, Buster came over, head hanging low, carrying the slipper I threw. "Aroooo... Sis, I was wrong." (I made him call me Sis). He knelt and offered his head. "Hit me. Buster won't hide." "Just don't throw Buster away. Buster is scared." My eyes teared up. I saw the shadow of my dog over this man. I dropped the slipper and hugged him. "Don't be scared. Sis said she'd never throw Buster away." Liam crossed his arms, glaring at Julian, then at Buster. The chat: [HAHAHAHAHA] [Liam's eyes are working overtime guarding against two rivals.] [Liam: I leave for work and come back to find my wife stolen.] We sat there until dark. Every time I got up for water, Buster gave me the puppy eyes. "Aroooo! Mom, where are you going? Don't you want Buster?" Back to "Mom." Whatever. A dog's memory is short. I reached out to pat his head but missed because he was taller now. Awkward. Then, I felt fuzzy hair on my palm. Buster had bowed his head, arching his back to fit under my hand. He smiled up at me. "Aroooo! Mom!" I rubbed his head and felt a sob building in my throat. I ran to the bathroom. "Buster wait, Mom needs to pee." I cried in the bathroom. When Buster died of old age, I thought about getting another beagle. But I couldn't. Buster was irreplaceable. Unless he came back. But I knew he would leave me again one day. Suddenly, pounding on the door. "Aroooo! Mom, why are you crying? Did Buster make you mad?" Then, a crash. Liam fell. "Ow! Wife, are you okay? Coming!" Crash. "Wife, wait! Ow!" Chat: [LMAO how does someone fall on flat ground?] [Repeatedly!] [Julian: Don't touch my shirt with your dirty hands!] [Liam: Stingy! Let me grab your arm!] I opened the door. The three of them were wedged in the doorway, fighting to be first. They all looked up. "Arooo/Wife/Chloe, are you okay?" I shook my head. "I'm getting water..." Buster shot out like a rocket. The sudden loss of mass caused Liam and Julian to collapse into a heap. By the time they scrambled up, Buster was back with water bottles, grinning. "Aroooo! Mom, drink!" I decided to play favorites. I shielded Buster. "Forget it, he's a child." Liam glared at Buster. "Fine. For Wifey's sake." Julian copied him. "Fine. For Chloe's sake." Liam: "?? Why are you copying me?" Julian: "Is your name on the sentence? So bossy. No wonder Chloe doesn't like you." They bickered. I tried to sneak away with Buster. Liam grabbed me. "Wife, you judge!" AHHH! Headache! I am never having boys. Chat: [Poor heroine. In the original plot, she meets the scumbag today. He locks her in a basement and forces her to have five sons, and none of them help her.] [Nooo! This is good! Just the four of them living together!] My heart skipped a beat. Was the chat predicting my future? I sat back down. Liam put his head in my hand. "What about me?" I flicked his forehead. "What?" "You pet him. Why not me?" I sighed. "You're a human. He's..." "Don't care. I want pets." Fine. I rubbed Liam's hair. He smirked at Buster. Buster headbutted him off the sofa. I ordered takeout. Five dishes. Julian came out of the kitchen in an apron. "Chloe, get chopsticks. Dinner is ready." I hugged Julian. "You're so domestic! Some lucky girl is going to snatch you up." Julian peeled me off. "Stop hugging. Someone's eyes are literally shooting lasers at me." I went to wash my hands. When I came back, the plates were licked clean. Buster was on a chair, belly round. Liam was wiping grease off his hands. Julian looked broken. "Are you starving ghosts reincarnated? Did you not eat in your past lives?" I sighed and got a rag. "I'll take you out, Julian. What do you want?"
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