1 The night before my thesis defense, I discovered that Leslie, my girlfriend of four years, had been financially supporting an underprivileged student. Every dollar she saved from her allowance went straight into that boy’s pocket. I confronted her, phone in hand. She was silent for the entire night, finally offering only a single, defiant sentence: “Yes, I pity him. Is that what you want to hear?” Four years of us, wiped away by a single pang of her pity for him. I couldn’t just let it end like that. I wiped away my tears and stood beside her in the line for our graduation photo, forcing a smile. That’s when her roommate rushed over. “Leslie! Leo heard you and Ben are getting engaged after graduation! He’s in his dorm—he took a bottle of sleeping pills!” Leslie’s graduation certificate slipped from her fingers and fell to the ground. She bolted, a blur of motion. I clutched my own certificate, shouting after her, “You walk out that door now, you’re choosing him!” Her footsteps faltered for a single, agonizing second. Then, without a shred of hesitation, she vanished into the crowd. I stood there, frozen, the tassel of my graduation cap swinging in front of my eyes. The world around me was a cacophony of laughter and celebratory screams, but it all sounded distant and warped. The university president stood on the stage, microphone in hand, looking from me to the empty space where Leslie had been, utterly at a loss for words. Leslie’s parents, their faces ashen, rushed over and grabbed my hands. “Ben, I’m going to drag that wretched girl back here myself! The nerve of her!” her father seethed. I just shook my head. Slowly, I rolled up the certificate in my hand. “Mr. and Mrs. Hayes, just let her go.” The expressions on my own parents’ faces were even worse. My dad was white with fury, and my mom was openly crying. “What is this supposed to be? Her graduation, our engagement party! How could she humiliate our family like this?” my dad hissed. I stepped off the platform and took my mother’s arm. “Mom, Dad, let me take you home.” The scene was pure chaos. Leslie’s roommate, Daisy, scurried over, wringing her hands. “Ben, I’m so sorry. Leo’s condition was critical, I had to…” I looked at her and said nothing. Daisy had been Leslie’s roommate for four years. She knew Leo. In their eyes, Leo was the fragile one who needed protecting. But a truly fragile person doesn’t try to kill themselves on the most important day of someone else’s life. I picked up my degree, turned my back on the celebration, and walked away. My phone vibrated in my pocket, again and again. I didn’t answer. I knew it was Leslie. She would explain, apologize, tell me how dire the situation was, how she had no choice but to go. After four years together, I knew her inside and out. She had a crushing sense of responsibility, especially towards anyone she felt she had wronged. Two years ago, during the review for the university’s financial aid grants, Leslie, as the Student Council President, had publicly questioned the documentation Leo submitted. She thought something didn’t add up. It turned out to be a misunderstanding. Leo had just filled out the forms incorrectly. But the incident turned Leo into a laughingstock in our department and became Leslie’s personal cross to bear. That guilt had haunted her for two years. I used to think she was right to help him. She’d made a mistake; she should make amends. It was only today that I finally understood. Some amends cross a line. Back in my dorm, I stripped off my cap and gown and changed into my own clothes. I knew that if Leo had been rushed to the hospital, it would be the university health center, the closest one. I grabbed my keys and headed over. In the emergency room, just as I’d expected, Leslie was sitting by his bedside. Leo was lying there, an IV drip in his arm. He was pale, his eyes closed, with tear tracks still glistening on his lashes. Leslie was clutching his other hand, her brow furrowed with worry. I walked in. When she saw me, she shot to her feet, her eyes filled with apology. “Ben, you’re here. I’m so sorry, about today…” “How is he?” I cut her off, my gaze fixed on the boy in the bed. “The doctors pumped his stomach in time. He’s not in any danger, just weak and emotionally unstable.” I nodded. “Good.” I turned to leave. Leslie grabbed my wrist. “Ben, don’t be angry. This happened because of me, I couldn’t just ignore it. He’s just a kid, his family’s poor… he’s in such a pitiful state.” I pulled my hand away. “Leslie, I’m not angry. I just think our graduation day should have been more important than a freshman we’ve known for two years.” “That’s not it! Ben, you’ll always be the most important person to me! But he was dying!” “The doctor said he’s not going to die,” I stated, my voice flat. Leslie’s lips parted, but no words came out. Just then, Leo’s eyes fluttered open. The moment he saw me, fresh tears welled up. “Ben… I’m sorry, it’s all my fault. I didn’t mean to… I just… I just couldn’t control myself.” He sobbed, his body trembling. “I saw you two at the ceremony, and I started thinking about my own life… I just lost it. I’m sorry, I ruined your graduation…” Leslie immediately sat back down, murmuring reassurances to him. “It’s okay, it’s all over now. Don’t think about it. You just need to rest.” The look she gave me was laced with blame: See? He’s already like this. Can’t you have a little compassion? I didn’t say another word. I just turned and walked away. Outside the hospital, the summer air was hot and sticky, clinging to my face like a film. It was only then that I realized my hands were shaking. The next morning, Leslie was waiting for me outside my dorm with breakfast. I buzzed her in but told her not to come up. She handed me the bag, a placating smile on her face. “Ben, I’m apologizing on Leo’s behalf. He was just emotional yesterday, he didn’t do it on purpose.” “Does he not have a mouth? Why do you have to apologize for him?” Her smile froze. “He’s… he’s still weak.” “Leslie, let’s forget about him for a second and talk about us,” I said, looking her straight in the eye. “Our graduation was ruined, our engagement party is a joke. What are you going to tell our families and all our friends?” She was silent for a moment. “We’ll wait a while, until this blows over. Then we can just have a small dinner with them.” “A dinner?” I laughed, a short, bitter sound. “You think a dinner is going to fix this?” “Well, what else can we do? It’s already happened!” She was getting frustrated. “Ben, I know you’re hurt, but Leo has nothing, and he almost died. Can’t you just find it in your heart to pity him, to be a little more understanding?” There it was again. Understanding. I took the breakfast from her and set it on a nearby ledge. “Fine. You should go back. He’s all alone at the hospital, he needs someone to look after him.” Leslie visibly relaxed, thinking I had conceded. “I knew you had a soft heart. Don’t worry, as soon as he’s discharged and stable, I’ll make this all up to you.” She turned and left. I watched her walk away, then picked up the breakfast from the ledge and threw it into the nearest trash can. Later, I went to the administration building to complete my checkout procedures. On the way, I passed the university hospital and, on a dark impulse, decided to go in and see Leo. He was propped up in bed, scrolling on his phone and laughing with the patient in the next bed over. He looked perfectly fine. The moment he saw me, his smile vanished, instantly replaced by a look of pathetic misery. “Ben. You came.” I nodded. “Yeah. Came to see how you were doing.” I walked over and picked up his chart from the bedside table, flipping through it. “Looks like you’re recovering well. You’ll probably be discharged tomorrow.” “Yeah,” he mumbled, looking down. “Thanks for… for coming to see me.” “Don’t mention it. Just don’t do anything stupid again. It’s your life.” He bit his lip, his eyes turning red again. “I know, Ben. It’s just… sometimes it’s just too much to handle.” I didn’t respond. I put the chart down and left. That afternoon, I found a friend of mine who was interning at the hospital. “Hey, Sarah. You remember that kid who was brought in for an overdose yesterday? Leo?” Sarah thought for a moment. “Oh, that guy. Yeah, I remember. A gorgeous girl brought him in, practically carrying him. She was pale with panic.” “What was the dosage like?” “Ha, don’t even get me started!” Sarah scoffed. “It was a few vitamin pills mixed with a couple of sleeping pills he probably got from god-knows-where.” “The dose was less than what I take to get to sleep some nights. It looked scary, him coming in crying and all, but everyone in the ER knows the type. It’s all for show. He was never in any danger of dying.” My heart sank, stone by heavy stone. That evening, Leslie came to take me to dinner, to celebrate my acceptance into the graduate program. She seemed to be in a good mood. Leo had been discharged, and she’d gotten him settled. “I booked a table at your favorite steakhouse.” In the car, she kept trying to take my hand, but I pulled away each time. “Ben, I know I’ve put you through a lot. I owe you a graduation ceremony, and I promise, I will give you an even bigger, better one.” I stared out the window at the passing city lights, saying nothing. “Leslie, how much money do you give Leo every month?” I asked suddenly. She flinched. “Not… not much. Just… half of my allowance.” Leslie’s family was well-off. Half her allowance was not a small amount. “Didn’t he apply for financial aid?” “He did, but it’s not enough. And you know how proud he is, he’s too embarrassed to ask his family for more.” “So you’ve been keeping him?” My voice turned to ice. Leslie frowned, her own tone growing sharp. “Ben, what kind of way is that to put it? Keeping him? I’m making amends for a mistake I made!” Her voice rose. “I almost ruined his reputation! The least I can do is make sure he doesn’t have to worry about money for the rest of his life! Is that so wrong?” I didn’t answer. The temperature in the car plummeted. We ate our meal in stony silence. On the way back, Leslie’s phone rang. It was Leo. Her voice instantly softened. “What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well?” “The power went out in your dorm? Don’t be scared, and don’t move. I’ll be right there to check on it!” She hung up and forced a smile at me. “Ben, I’ll drop you off first, then I have to go check on Leo. He lives alone, and he’s easily frightened.” I just stared at her. “Leslie, what is he to you?” The smile on her face froze. “He’s… my friend. My underclassman.” “So you’re responsible for the rest of his life, including fixing his circuit breakers?” “Ben!” She was genuinely angry now. “Why are you being so unreasonable? He’s all alone, he just got out of the hospital, and his room is pitch black! I can’t just ignore him!” “He could call the dorm supervisor. Or the campus electrician.” “It’s not the same! He doesn’t trust other people!” I laughed. “Right. He only trusts you.” I reached over and opened the car door. “Don’t bother dropping me off. I’ll walk. You go. Your little brother is waiting.” I got out and slammed the door. Leslie’s car idled behind me for a moment, and then, it drove away. In the direction of Leo’s dorm. After that, we were in a cold war. Leslie didn’t contact me. I didn’t contact her. The apartment we’d rented for grad school was ready and waiting. We were supposed to move in right after graduation. I went there alone. The place was huge and empty. We had picked out every piece of furniture together. I sat on the sofa for a long, long time. A week later, Leslie called. She sounded exhausted. “Ben, we need to talk.” We met at the new apartment. She was thinner, with dark circles under her eyes. “Ben, I’m sorry. I haven’t been fair to you lately,” she began. “Leo’s been really unstable, and I’ve had to spend more time with him.” I said nothing, just waited for her to continue. “I know you’re upset, but Ben, we’ve been together for four years. Don’t you know me by now? All I feel for Leo is guilt and responsibility. Nothing more.” “I know,” I said. She let out a breath of relief. “I knew you’d understand.” She moved to hug me. I took a step back. “Leslie, I came here today to tell you… I don’t want this apartment anymore.” She froze, her arms still outstretched. “What… what do you mean?” “The lease is in your name, you paid the deposit. I don’t want it.” “Why? Ben, this is our home!” she said, her voice rising in panic. “Because one day, the power will go out in Leo’s dorm again, or his sink will get clogged, and you’ll decide that he needs a home more than I do.” The color drained from her face. “Ben! Why do you have to talk like that? Why are you trying to hurt me?” “Am I not telling the truth?” “I’m just helping him! It’s a small thing!” “Running out of our graduation in front of thousands of people was a small thing? Giving him half your allowance every month is a small thing? Leslie, your ‘small things’ are adding up.” She opened her mouth, but couldn't find the words. Finally, she took a deep breath. “Fine, Ben. If that’s what you think, then I’ll prove you wrong.” She locked her eyes on mine, her voice deliberate. “I’m going to have Leo move in here. He can take the guest room.” A buzzing started in my head. “What did you say?” “I said, I’m moving Leo in!” she repeated, her voice louder, as if trying to convince both me and herself. “I can’t trust him to be alone in the dorms, he’s always having some kind of crisis. If he’s living under our roof, I can keep an eye on him, and then you won’t have to worry! That should solve everything, right?” I stared at her as if she were a complete stranger. “Leslie, you’re insane.” “I’m not insane, I’m being responsible! I can’t let anything else happen to him! It’s my duty!” Each word was a hammer blow. Suddenly, I felt tired. A deep, bone-weary exhaustion. “Fine,” I said. “Have him move in.” Leslie seemed stunned that I’d agreed so easily. I took my key out of my bag and placed it on the coffee table. “Here’s your key back.” “From now on, this is your home. Yours and his.” “I wish you two a happy life together.” I stood up and walked out of the home I had once been so excited about. As the door clicked shut behind me, I thought I heard the sound of something smashing inside. And finally, the tears came. Four years. Over. Just like that.
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