I've tried to save the tortured, self-loathing male lead seven times. And seven times, he jumped off the roof. Before his death, he arranged everything perfectly. He considered everyone, including his former bullies. Lucas left a note specifically absolving them, ensuring they wouldn't be cyberbullied after he was gone. Just like the six times before, Lucas left this world gently, trying to take care of everyone until the very end. At the funeral, everyone mourned him. They were regretful, heartbroken, devastated. Everyone except me. Because this time, I was pregnant. I had knelt on the ground, begging Lucas not to give up, begging him not to leave me and our child. But Lucas just gave me that sad, beautiful smile and said, "I'm sorry." Then I lost my husband, and my child lost his father. I asked the System: Can I stop saving the male lead? I’m done. The System ignored me and booted up the eighth loop. I opened my eyes and found myself back in the high school classroom. Over in the corner was Lucas, the pathetic little outcast, drenched in dirty mop water thrown by the school bullies. I stood up. I saw the faint glimmer of hope in his eyes as he looked at me. Then, I walked right past him. I walked straight up to his stepbrother—the bully leading the pack—and looked into the boy’s malicious eyes. "Kill me." I stared him down. "Or take me away from here." 1 Xander’s expression froze. Then, he let out an exaggerated, mocking laugh. "Lina, did you sleep your brain away during lunch? 'Kill you'? What are you, some kind of emo drama queen?" I didn't say anything. I just watched him quietly. Gradually, Xander stopped laughing. He looked into my eyes, then abruptly looked away, unsettled. "...Shit. You're freaking me out." I kept staring at him stubbornly. Because I knew Xander could do it. In the future, Lucas's stepbrother would become a murderer. Right now, though, High School Xander just kicked over the mop bucket his friend was holding. "This vibe is cursed. Show's over. Everyone get lost!" Before leaving, Xander glanced back at me a few times. His brows furrowed, like he wanted to say something but held back. In the corner, that figure was curled up in a ball. High school Lucas was skinny. His skeletal frame looked even more fragile wrapped in the soaked uniform. Dirty water dripped from his black hair, sliding down his sharp brow bone and crashing onto the floor, drop by drop. He just looked up at me like that, his dark, wet eyes unblinking. His pupils constricted slightly, like he’d just seen a ghost. Memories hit me like a tidal wave. Every loop started with this scene. Usually, I would rush over immediately. I’d spread my arms and shield Lucas. I’d scream at Xander and his goons to back off. "Tch—Lina, playing the saint again?" Xander would sneer. "Hey Lucas, look at you. Hiding behind a woman? Pathetic." And when I finally chased them away and turned around... Lucas would always look up at me with those dark eyes. Like a puppy left out in the rain. It made my heart ache and swell at the same time. Then I would carefully help him up, whisper comforting words, and take him to the sink to clean up... But this time was different. My gaze lingered on Lucas’s dark eyes for half a second. I saw the expectation he hadn't had time to hide, the confusion about why I wasn't moving. And the lingering, shattered shimmer of tears. Then, I lifted my foot. And I stepped around him. I didn't pause. I walked straight back to my desk and sat down. I took out the textbook for the next period and smoothed it out in front of me. I didn't look back. Finally, the warning bell rang through the school. In the corner, the figure moved. Lucas’s upturned head slowly, inch by inch, dropped down. 2 Class started. Lucas returned to his seat in the back row. The wet uniform clung to his back, outlining his shoulder blades. From the teacher's podium, you could see his shoulders shaking slightly. But the teacher said nothing. Because Lucas and Xander... they were technically family now. The homeroom teacher had tried calling the parents before—Lucas's father, who was also Xander's stepfather. The father’s attitude was to turn a blind eye, clearly favoring his stepson, Xander. The result? Xander’s bullying didn't stop; it got worse. Since then, no teacher bothered. In the adult world, difficult problems are easily filed away as "family matters." Right now, I was staring at my textbook, but I couldn't read a word. Originally, I accepted the System's contract on my hospital bed to come to this world. The System promised that if I completed the mission, my illness in the real world would be cured. I thought saving a gentle boy would be easy. For the first three loops, I stayed by Lucas’s side as a friend. I blocked the bullies, listened to his fears, and shared every bit of happiness I could find. I naively thought friendship was enough to pull Lucas out of the abyss. But at the end of every loop, all I got was a cold funeral invitation. And a handwritten letter: [Lina, you were my best friend. Thank you. Please be happy.] So clean. So gentle. He thought of everyone else, but forgot to leave a way out for himself. In the fourth loop, I realized my feelings for Lucas weren't just pity. I fell in love with the boy who would give me his only umbrella in the rain and run home soaking wet. The boy who remembered my period, carried spare pads, and silently carried my heavy books. I loved his kindness toward a cruel world. I even loved his bone-deep insecurity and sensitivity. From then on, I gave it everything. I used all my love, my optimism, my passion. I tried to light a bonfire in his dark world that would never go out. I confessed. We dated. We moved in together. Lucas would sit by the bed watching me sleep, kissing me gently when I woke up. He loved hugging me from behind, burying his face in my neck, whispering: "Lina... meeting you was the luckiest thing that ever happened to me." I thought he was healed. I thought this time, we could grow old together. But his death always came without warning. One day, Lucas would be wearing the bunny apron I chose, face flushed from the steam in the kitchen, asking, "Lina, do you want steamed fish or braised fish tomorrow?" The next day, I’d find an empty bottle of sleeping pills beside his cold body. One night, we’d be cuddling, his warm breath on my neck. The next morning, the space beside me would be empty, and the smell of blood would drift from the bathroom. Beside his body, there was always a small wooden box. The first time I saw it, Lucas took out a yellowed piece of paper. One glance, and the color drained from his face. I asked him what it was. He immediately put the paper back, gave me a reassuring smile, and said it was nothing. The next day, he turned on the gas in a sealed room. Since then, I desperately tried to find that box. I wanted to know what was written on that paper, what words had the power to push him to death again and again. But I never found it. Until the seventh time. The last time. We had come so far. We were married. Lucas smiled genuinely more and more often. That afternoon, I came back from the hospital, hugging the ultrasound report, wanting to surprise him. And then I saw it. Lucas was standing by the window, holding that piece of paper I knew too well. The joy froze on my face. It took everything I had not to scream, rush over, snatch the paper, and tear it to shreds. "Lucas..." My voice trembled. "I'm... pregnant. Do you want to see our baby?" Lucas looked so pale by the window, like a flicker of light in the snow, ready to melt away. He turned, backlit by the sun, wearing that familiar, tragic smile. "Yeah. In a bit." My world collapsed. "Lucas!!" I shook the report frantically, tears streaming down my face. "Isn't this enough?! Don't you look forward to our baby? What is on that paper? Even if it's a curse, so what? I'm here! I'm here! We can start over!" In that moment, the fragile air around him shattered. He rushed over and hugged me, apologizing over and over. He held me so tight, as if trying to embed me into his bones. But the next day, he still jumped from the roof of that building. I loved him, saved him, pulled him out of the abyss time and time again. And every time, he chose to jump back in. My effort, my endurance... it was all for nothing. RIIING— The harsh bell snapped me out of my memories. SLAM! A hand slammed onto my desk, making my pencil case jump. A shadow fell over me. I looked up and saw Xander. One hand in his pocket, leaning forward, looking down at me. Two buttons of his uniform were undone, showing his collarbones. His hair was getting long, black strands falling into his eyes. "Hey, Lina." His voice was lazy, carrying a rogue-ish edge. "That stuff you said before class... 'take me away'... what did that mean?" Xander paused, then smirked, revealing sharp canine teeth. "You don't... have a crush on me, do you?" 3 Xander burst into loud, mocking laughter. "Trying to get my attention with that? Pretty unique. I almost bought it. But your acting is seriously—" "Yeah." I said. Xander’s laughter choked off into a cough. He straightened up immediately. "Cough! You... you said 'yeah'?" I didn't look away. Yeah. I give up. I don't want to save Lucas anymore. I just want to be free from this endless loop. "If I say I like you, will you kill me later?" "..." Xander froze. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. A few seconds later, a flush crept up his neck, burning his ears and spreading to his cheeks. The classroom went silent. Everyone was staring, eyes wide with gossip. Only from the back row came the screech of a chair being dragged. Lucas, who had been hanging his head, now buried his face completely in his arms. His uniform was half-dry, the muscles in his back tight and trembling. "You..." Xander took half a step back. He finally found his voice, but it was loud and cracked. "Are you f*cking crazy?! You're just a kid, why—why are you always talking about death! You think it's edgy? There's a limit to being an emo teenager!" His friend next to him burst out laughing at Xander's flustered state. Xander snapped like a cat whose tail got stepped on and kicked his friend in the shin. "Laugh at your mom! Shut up!" He was humiliated. I looked at this loud, blustering boy. But in my mind, I saw a different image. Years later. An afternoon. Adult Xander, being escorted out of an apartment building by two officers. Hands cuffed behind his back, stained with dark, drying blood. The onlookers whispered one word: Murderer. The last time I saw Xander, he smiled at me through the police car window. "...Hey! Why are you spacing out?" Present-day Xander poked my forehead. He looked fierce, but his touch was light. "What is your deal? Is this how people confess these days?" He pulled his hand back and ruffled his own hair aggressively, making it even messier. "Say something!" Suddenly, a harsh screech came from the back of the room. The sound of a chair hitting the floor. Everyone turned to look. Lucas was standing up, leaning forward, hand still pushing the desk. His chair was toppled over behind him. Meeting my eyes, Lucas froze, like a kicked dog. Then he panicked, bending down clumsily to pick up the chair. He kept his head down the whole time, hair hiding his face. Once the chair was upright, he didn't look at anyone. He turned and rushed out of the classroom. "..." Seeing this, the blush on Xander's face faded. He stared coldly at Lucas's retreating back and spat out one word: "Freak." 4 Lunchtime. The cafeteria was a chaotic din. Xander slammed his tray down on the table, jerking his chin at the student sitting next to me. "Move." The student didn't argue and scrambled away. Xander sat down heavily. "Hey, Emo Girl. You planning to keep that depressed face all day?" He stabbed at a green pepper on his tray but kept glancing at me. "I'm telling you, the gym rep from the other class? He gave one of our guys a bloody nose last week. Yesterday after school, I cornered him. Guess what? He peed his pants. Hilarious, right?" He kept talking, moving a spare rib from his tray to mine. "Eat. Lunch lady had a shaky hand today, gave me extra meat." I didn't touch the rib. I didn't look at him. Xander tapped his tray with his chopsticks. "What's with the face? Food sucks? Or do you lose your appetite looking at me?" Xander talked until his mouth was dry. My tray was empty. I wiped my mouth, stood up, and picked up my tray to leave. "Hey! You're done already? That rib..." Xander tried to talk with his mouth full. I didn't look back, walking toward the return window. Just as I got close, a figure stood up from a nearby table and followed me. Head down, back slightly hunched, shoulders drawn in. His uniform still had water stains. Lucas. I could feel him behind me. Not too close, not too far. Step for step. Suddenly, a sneaker shot out from the side, blocking Lucas’s path. Lucas was caught off guard. He pitched forward, about to face-plant onto the greasy floor. The students around him were already laughing. Subconsciously, I shot my arm out to catch him— It was pure muscle memory from seven lifetimes of protecting him. My hand hovered for a second. The exhaustion of futility washed over me, and I started to pull back. But a hand grabbed my wrist faster. It was cold, bony, and gripping tight. Lucas used my meager support to steady himself. The students waiting for the show booed in disappointment. I stared at the person in front of me. Lucas was still holding my wrist. He looked up. Those pitch-black eyes were terrifyingly bright. Like he was overwhelmed by an undeserved favor. Lucas’s lips moved. Very softly, very slowly, he choked out words that were almost drowned by the noise: "...Thank... you..." At that moment, Xander rushed over with his unfinished tray. "What the hell are you doing?" His eyes locked onto Lucas’s hand on my wrist. His face went black. "Let go!" Lucas didn't let go. He stood his ground, unmoving, staring straight at me. The look in his eyes was heavy. "Lina... Lina." He whispered my name. Raspy. Trembling. "I... I think I have... a lot of new memories." "In the future... we have a baby, don't we?"
? Continue the story here ?? ? Download the "MotoNovel" app ? search for "386735", and watch the full series ✨! #MotoNovel