Farewell to the Crabapple

I spent seven years chasing Joey Williams. He spent seven years rejecting me. Everyone said Tessa Hart loved Joey to the bone. They also said Joey had a visceral, almost biological, aversion to Tessa. What they didn't know was that for those seven years, in the privacy of my bed, Joey Williams loved me like his life depended on it. But the second his pants were back on, I was just his pathetic little puppy again. Five years after we split, Joey and I ended up at the same table at our high school reunion. The class president, a face I hadn't seen in years, leaned in and whispered, "Tessa, are you still after Joey?" "I saw in the news he's still single," she nudged me. "This is your chance. Go for it!" I was about to shut her down when a new wave of excitement swept through the room. A man in a tailored suit, radiating an air of cool prestige, moved through the chorus of greetings and compliments and sat down in the empty chair beside me. "Tessa. It's been a long time." "Have you been well these last five years?" I offered a small, empty smile, my eyes downcast. "I've been great. Anything's great, without you." 1. The spoon in Joey’s hand clattered to the floor. The sharp sound cut through the chatter, and for a split second, his perpetually stoic mask shattered. As a waiter hurried over to replace the silverware, he leaned in close, his voice a low whisper. "Tessa..." I physically shifted my chair, creating a full arm's length of distance between us. The light in his handsome, almond-shaped eyes dimmed. "I'll give you a ride home after," he said, his voice tight. "Not necessary." I refused without a second thought. "It's raining. You can't ride your bike-share home in this." The downpour outside was getting heavier. He was right, I couldn't. I'd have to call for a car. "If you had just taken the money back then, your life wouldn't be like this." I wasn't sure if he meant the severance package or the abortion money. He owed me for so much more than just one or the other. Five abortions, to be exact. A knot of irritation tightened in my stomach. I followed his gaze down to a dark smudge on the cuff of my pants. I'd forgotten. On my way here, a black Maybach had sped through a puddle, splashing dirty water all over me. So that was Joey's car. He'd upgraded again. He must have had too much cash on the books and needed a new tax write-off. "I brought a raincoat. Don't trouble yourself." His eyes swept over me, a deep sigh escaping his lips. "Tessa, why do you always have to be so stubborn?" "Joey." A syrupy sweet voice cut him off. Every head in the room turned toward the door. A woman stood there in a chic, pale grey power suit, her makeup accentuating her sharp, model-esque features. People exchanged curious glances, wondering who she was. Only I didn't look up. I just kept eating. I’d slept in and woken up starving, and our class president’s frantic calls had dragged me here before I’d even had a chance to grab a bite. "Tessa?" The woman, Lily, gasped with theatrical surprise, grabbing my hand. Her grip was limp. "What are you doing here? Joey told me it was his high school reunion, but I never thought you'd actually show up!" I forced a tight smile and gently pulled my hand away. "And you are?" our class president finally asked, voicing the question on everyone's mind. All eyes shifted to Joey. "My fiancée, Lily," he said, his voice flat and devoid of emotion. So, a man like Joey was capable of publicly claiming someone. My seven-year underground romance and three-year secret marriage—ten years of my life, completely unacknowledged—suddenly felt like a colossal joke. A beat of stunned silence, then someone broke it with a "Congratulations!" and the room erupted in a fresh wave of chatter. Lily slid into the seat next to Joey, and they received the room’s good wishes like a newly married couple. "I'm late, so I really should do three shots to make up for it," she announced brightly. "But Joey won't let me drink right now, so I'll toast you all with this instead." Lily knew how to work a room. Even with Joey sitting there like a statue, she single-handedly charmed everyone, her glass held high. The atmosphere crackled back to life. In minutes, she had them all eating out of the palm of her hand. "By the way," she said, her eyes scanning the table with a playful glint. "I heard someone in this class chased Joey for seven years straight. Who was it? I'm just so curious who could possibly have that much patience." I kept my head down, the smile gone from my face. The room went silent. No one dared to look at me, probably afraid I'd flip the table. I'd always had a notoriously short fuse, and I held a grudge like it was my job. The only person who had ever been able to handle me was Joey. It was why no other girl had dared to even talk to him during the years I was chasing him. "She didn't come today," the class president said, kindly covering for me. "Oh? What a shame," Lily sighed with mock disappointment. "I was hoping to give her a wedding invitation…" She finished with a giggle, collapsing dramatically into Joey's arms. The class president stared daggers at her. "That woman is a real piece of work, isn't she?" she muttered to me. I watched her channel her rage into devouring a chicken wing and had to stifle a laugh, pushing a glass of water toward her so she wouldn't choke. She grabbed my arm, her voice a fierce whisper. "Tessa, my ship has officially sunk! Is there really no chance for you and Joey?!" She glared at Lily, and I couldn't help but smirk. "It's not like we were never together." The class president's jaw unhinged. I think her pupils actually dilated. I turned my head and looked directly at Joey, seeking confirmation. "Isn't that right, Joey?" His brow twitched. He gave a curt nod. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" The class president shot to her feet, practically vibrating with the scandalous gossip. The whole room exploded. For seven years, everyone had assumed Joey despised me, that he found my very presence repulsive. Lily’s practiced smile froze on her face. She never expected me to reveal our secret history, and she certainly never expected Joey to confirm it. "Oh, so Tessa was your ex-girlfriend, Joey!" she recovered, her voice sharp. "Well, then I should thank you, Tessa. Thank you for stepping aside and giving me a chance with him." She picked up two glasses—one with orange juice, one with hard liquor—and walked over. I pushed the liquor away, my expression turning cold. "Sorry, I can't drink." "What do you mean, you can't drink?" she insisted, pushing the glass back toward me. "I remember when you were the sales director at the company. You could drink anyone under the table. You're the one who taught me how to hold my liquor, remember?" Senior year of college, Joey had founded his own tech startup. I’d turned down a cushy job my family had arranged for me and went to work for him instead. In those early days, we were barely surviving. Joey was too proud to beg, too arrogant to schmooze for a deal. So I did it for him. Every contract, every partnership, every round of funding—I secured them all at the bottom of a bottle. And back then, Joey was grateful. So grateful that he asked me to marry him. Our seven-year underground romance gave way to a three-year secret marriage. In those days, Joey would make me hangover soup, hold me when I was drunk and rambling, and soothe me to sleep. Even when we had no money, he never forgot an anniversary, always scraping together enough for some extravagant gift. He gave me everything except a name. He never called me his wife in public. But it was enough. I convinced myself that, in his own way, he loved me. The company took off. Joey's talent was undeniable, and he quickly made a name for himself. We started hiring. Lily was one of my first recruits. "I don't like you being out there, in the spotlight," Joey had said. "Find someone to do the drinking for you." So I stepped back. Lily was fearless, a natural. She dove headfirst into the boozy world of business deals. I taught her everything I knew: how to pour the drinks, how to build a tolerance, how to close a deal over a dinner that reeked of alcohol. She was a fast learner. She was also beautiful, bubbly, and charming, and she started landing major contracts, one after another. Joey adored her. It was an open, undisguised affection. He showered her with bonuses, but also with personal gifts—expensive clothes, designer bags, jewelry. They became inseparable at the office, their closeness bordering on inappropriate. I fought with him about it, again and again. Every argument ended the same way: with him storming out. "Tessa, don't project your own filthy thoughts onto others." "Tessa, if you keep this up, there's no reason for us to be together." That relationship, built on my sacrifice, nearly destroyed me. Staring at the crystal-clear liquor in front of me, I looked up at Lily. "Then didn't I also teach you never to push a drink on a woman?" I put down my chopsticks, took the glass, and poured its contents into Joey's empty one. "Joey," I said, my voice dripping with ice, "if you can't control your woman, don't bring her out in public to embarrass herself." The color drained from his face. He grabbed Lily's arm, pulling her back. "That's enough." "Sit down and eat," he said, his voice low and sharp. "If you won't eat, the baby needs to." His words fell like stones into the sudden silence. The food on the table suddenly tasted like ash. A wave of nausea churned in my stomach. "Excuse me," I mumbled, pushing my chair back. "I need to use the restroom." The moment I stepped outside, a gust of cold, damp wind cut through my coat. I shivered, the nausea subsiding slightly. A baby. They were having a baby. Joey, the man who claimed to hate children, was having a baby with another woman. In our ten years together, I had been pregnant with his child five times. Every single time, he made me get an abortion. The excuse was always the same: his career was just taking off, and besides, he just didn't like kids. Each time, he would shower me with gifts to "make me feel better." He'd say we were still young, that we should enjoy our time together. And because I loved him so desperately, I always let him convince me. The drinking and the constant morning-after pills had wrecked my body. The fifth time I got pregnant, the doctor gave me a stark warning: if I terminated this one, I might never be able to have children again. On our third wedding anniversary, I cooked an elaborate meal. I was going to tell him. I wanted to keep this baby. But he never came home. Instead, I found him. In his office. On the couch. Entangled with Lily. "Tessa! Who said you could come in without knocking?!" he yelled, scrambling for clothes to cover her. "Get out!" Lily just stared at me, her eyes wide and innocent like a startled deer. That day, I fled. I even remembered to close the door behind me. When Joey finally came home, the apartment was destroyed. Food and cake were smeared on the floor. I had torn up every photo of us, smashed everything I could get my hands on. He calmly navigated the wreckage and sat down in front of me. I was the first to speak. I asked him when it started. "You don't want to know." "Tessa, can't you just be happy being Mrs. Williams at home?" His voice was cold, each word a shard of ice in my heart. I went crazy. I started to call Lily, right in front of him. He snatched my phone and smashed it against the wall. "Are you insane? She doesn't know anything!" The air froze. I laughed, a bitter, broken sound. "Doesn't she, Joey? Really?" We had a secret marriage, yes. But anyone with eyes could see how close we were. Lily had asked me about him dozens of times. She would have to be an idiot not to know. "I never told her," he said, the words falling from his lips with chilling indifference. In that moment, I swear I could hear my heart cracking. "Tessa, I'm warning you. If you go after her, we're getting a divorce." For three years, every time I'd gotten upset about Lily, he had threatened me with divorce. And every single time, I had backed down. But not that time. "Fine, Joey," I said. "Let's get a divorce." He made the terms impossible, demanding I leave with nothing, trying to force me to stay. I didn't even argue. I just signed the papers. Back then, there was no mandatory cooling-off period. We had our divorce decree in hand that same day. Standing outside the city hall, he warned me through gritted teeth not to regret it. He was so sure I'd come crawling back. But I never did. In five years, I had barely even thought of him. If the class president hadn't begged me to come to this reunion, I never would have seen him again. A weight settled on my shoulders. A black suit jacket, carrying a familiar, cold scent. Joey. "Tessa, it's been five years," he said, his voice thick with something I couldn't name. "I never thought you'd actually be able to stay away." Without a word, I shrugged the jacket off and handed it back to him. "Stay away? Or come back as your mistress?" I sneered. "Have you no shame, Joey? Is cheating an addiction for you?" His face hardened. He grabbed my wrist, his other hand yanking up the hem of my shirt. The pale skin of my stomach was covered in a fine web of silvery lines. "Tessa," he whispered, his voice shaking. "Five years ago… did you have my baby?" The wind was howling, and his words were almost lost in it. My vision blurred, and suddenly I was back in those awful days after our divorce, homeless and alone. I'd left with nothing. I was pregnant, and so ashamed I couldn't even face my family. Three years as a housewife had left my resume empty. I had no money for an abortion, so I tried desperate, old-fashioned methods to induce a miscarriage. Jump rope, herbal remedies, starving myself for days. But the baby clung to life with a stubbornness that mirrored my own. And in the end, I couldn't do it. I became the ultimate fool: a woman determined to give birth to her cheating ex-husband's child. I lived in a tiny basement apartment, worked part-time at a diner, and did everything I could to nourish the small life growing inside me. I talked to him every day, telling him about my life. I bought him tiny clothes and even found a second-hand crib. I gave him the best of everything I had. I thought everything would be okay. But one night, I woke up in a pool of blood. "Your placenta has dropped, it's almost completely covering the cervix," the doctor said, her voice clinical and detached. "You need to be admitted for observation, or you will lose this baby." Her words were like hammer blows to my heart. The cost of hospitalization was astronomical. I couldn't afford it. The pain, the bleeding, the sheer terror of it all, made me think of him. Lying in that hospital bed, I finally broke. I called Joey. The phone rang for what felt like an eternity. When he finally picked up, his voice was rough and breathless. "Hello? Who is this?" And then I heard it. A soft, feminine moan in the background. My hand started to tremble. I fumbled with the phone, hanging up before he could say another word. The memory clawed at me, tearing at my nerves. I blinked, and Joey's face swam back into focus. He was gripping my arm, his knuckles white. "Tessa, the baby! Where is my child?" I yanked my arm free. "Joey, if you're sick, go see a doctor. And stop watching so many trashy soap operas. I'm not stupid enough to give birth to my cheating husband's child!" He didn't believe me. He pointed at my stomach. "Then where did these stretch marks come from? You never had them before." I scowled, my patience gone. "You're insane." I turned to leave, but Lily's voice stopped me. "Tessa, let us give you a ride," she called out, hurrying over with my purse in her hand. "It's so late, you'll never get a cab in this rain." My neck stiff, I nodded. The moment we were in the car, Lily started chattering about her latest OB-GYN appointment. Joey gave one-word answers, his eyes fixed on me in the rearview mirror. "This is our first, you know," Lily said, smiling at me. "Joey is so protective. He found the best maternity hospital in the city for me. If you ever need a recommendation, I can give you their number." Her smile was sickly sweet. "Oh, I just realized, I don't even know where you live now, Tessa!" "The Westgate." Lily's mouth fell open. "The Westgate on Westview Drive? That's the most expensive real estate in the city! How are you living there?" Joey's eyebrows shot up, his expression a mixture of shock and disbelief. "Tessa, you're not just saying that to save face, are you?" she pressed. I cut her off. "You're right. I'm a nanny there." Lily let out a little snort of laughter. Joey's expression relaxed into one of understanding. Of course. The air in the car felt thick, poisoned. I couldn't breathe. "Excuse me," Lily said suddenly, "the morning sickness has been terrible lately. I'm just going to open a window." There was a screech of tires. The car swerved violently, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around my stomach to brace for impact. Lily wasn't so lucky; she hit her head on the window, letting out a yelp. She turned to Joey, her face crumpled, ready to whine for sympathy, but his attention was elsewhere. He was staring at me. His eyes were cloudy, unreadable. "You're married?" he asked, his voice low. I shifted in my seat and nodded. "Yep. Got married right after the divorce." He was speechless. The silence in the car was heavy, suffocating. Even Lily's whimpering faded away. She was smarter than I had been. She knew when to be quiet. I used to keep pushing, even when Joey's face was a thundercloud of rage. "To whom?" he finally gritted out, his eyes burning with a cold fire. I just looked at him, saying nothing. A car horn blared behind us. Defeated, Joey slammed his foot on the gas. The car shot forward, and we were at the gates of The Westgate in minutes. "Stay here," he ordered Lily. He unbuckled his seatbelt and dragged me out of the car. "Tessa, go inside and quit your job. Right now." "I will raise my child. You don't need to demean yourself with a job as a nanny." Demean myself. The word stung. "A nanny is nothing," I said, my voice flat. "I've done worse. I've sold shots in clubs, washed dishes in restaurant kitchens. I even got paid to be a professional mourner at a stranger's wake once. Do you want to hear more, Joey?" A vein throbbed in his temple. "That's enough!" he roared. "What's the matter, Joey? Putting on a show?" My sarcastic tone finally broke him. He dropped his head, his voice low and ragged. "Tessa… I just want to make it up to you." He told me that after I’d left the reunion, people had started talking about me. "Class president, how did you even get in touch with Tessa?" someone had asked. "She changed her number, all her social media is dead." "Ran into her at the farmer's market," she'd said, wiping her greasy fingers on a napkin. "She was there in her pajamas. I just invited her on the spot." The table had buzzed with speculation. Maybe her family had lost their fortune. Maybe she'd fallen in with a bad crowd. Then someone had lowered their voice. "You don't think she got dumped by some guy and left with nothing, do you?" And then another voice, even quieter. "I think I saw her, actually. At the hospital where I work. She was coming in for prenatal checkups." "She was always alone. Looked like she hadn't eaten in a week, just completely malnourished. And every time I saw her, she was wearing the same clothes, stained and… dirty…" Joey's head had snapped up. He'd walked over to the speaker, his presence silencing the entire table. "When?" The man had stammered, confused. "When… when did you see Tessa getting these checkups?" "Five years ago," he'd finally managed. "In the winter, I think… I don't really remember the details…" Joey said it felt like the world had tilted on its axis. He'd followed me out without a second thought, not even hearing Lily when she called his name. Now, standing in the rain, his hand trembled at his side. "Tessa." He hadn't called me that since Lily came into the picture. "I saw the ultrasound report. Before our anniversary. I saw it." I stared at him, speechless. He had known. He had known I was pregnant when he slept with Lily. He had known when he threatened me with divorce. He had known when he forced me to leave with nothing. "I just… I never thought you'd actually go through with it…" he stammered, his eyes pleading, searching for an excuse, for absolution. "Joey," I said, my voice steady. "I'm telling you for the last time. I did not have your child." He didn't believe me. He reached for me again, his mouth opening to argue. "Mommy!" A tiny figure burst through the lobby doors, running toward me with a happy shriek. "Mommy, why didn't you answer my phone?" "Poppy missed you so much today…" My daughter's soft cheek rubbed against mine as I swept her up into my arms. "Tessa, the child is right here! Are you still going to lie to me?" Joey's voice was triumphant. "She's not your daughter, Joey. She's only four." "You're lying!" he insisted, reaching for the child in my arms. I sidestepped him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a familiar figure walking slowly out of the building. My heart skipped a beat. "I don't have time for this, Joey. I'm telling you for the last time: this child has nothing to do with you." I turned and walked quickly toward the lobby. The security guard stepped forward, blocking Joey from following. "Mommy, who was that scary man?" my daughter whispered. "Am I not Daddy's girl?" "Of course you're Daddy's girl!" I said, pulling her close. Distracted, I walked straight into a solid chest. "Running while you're holding Poppy?" a deep voice chided gently. "Have you forgotten you're pregnant?" Ethan took my daughter from my arms and flicked my forehead playfully. I looped my arm through his, leaning against him with a happy sigh. "Zhang Ma told me you went to your reunion today," he said, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Why didn't you have Charles drive you?" His gaze flickered toward the tall figure still arguing with the guard at the gate, and his expression sharpened. "It was close, so I just went myself," I said, quickly changing the subject with a pout. "Honey, I'm so tired…" Ethan just smiled and quickened his pace, letting the subject drop. The day had been exhausting. I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. Later, after putting our daughter to bed, Ethan came into our room to find me sprawled across the bed. He chuckled softly and pulled the covers over me. He stood by the window for a long time, bathed in moonlight, and made a call. "I want a list of everyone who attended my wife's reunion today. Full background checks. Male and female." He looked back at my sleeping form, a rare, soft smile on his lips. "Tessa," he whispered to the quiet room. "You know you can trust me." The only answer was the sound of my soft, even breathing.

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