Since childhood, I’ve been a stubborn "literalist" who doesn’t understand jokes. When my grandmother said I was found in a dumpster, I taped "Missing Mother" flyers on every trash can for a week. When a boy remarked my wide hips were good for bearing sons, I went to his house and measured his mother’s hips for comparison. People soon learned not to joke around me—my presence made rooms polite and terrified. Then came my engagement, and my fiancé’s "just one of the guys" best friend. At a pre-wedding party, during Truth or Dare, she smirked: "Sloane, Julian has a mole on his inner thigh—it’s pretty when he’s... exerting himself." The room froze, then erupted in laughter. I set down my glass, looked at my smirking fiancé, and said calmly: "Take off your pants. I need to verify that." 1 The laughter in the VIP suite died instantly. Kelly looked at me, stunned by my directness. She let out an awkward, high-pitched laugh. "Sloane, oh my god, you aren't actually mad, are you?" "We're just playing a game! I just dropped a little bombshell to spice up the mood. You don't have to be so serious. You're making Julian look bad." I slammed my phone onto the marble table. I hit play. The two sentences she had just spoken began to loop on high volume. I grinned at her, watching the blood drain from her face. "Sorry," I said, my voice flat. "But I don't do comedy." "I'm going to strip Julian right now. If I find that mole exactly where you described it, that’s proof of infidelity before marriage. I will post the photos to both the Lister and Vance family group chats. On repeat." The groomsmen gasped in unison. Julian’s face turned a violent shade of red. He struggled to break free from my grip—I had grabbed his belt—and snatched a jacket from one of his friends to cover his crotch. He looked at me like he wanted to strangle me. "Sloane! Have you lost your mind?" "Kelly and I grew up together! We bathed together as toddlers! There isn't an inch of me she hasn't seen!" "Are you really going to ruin everything over a harmless joke?" Ah, the classic defense. As if the word "joke" was a Get Out of Jail Free card. As if saying it meant I had to swallow any disrespect they served me. Unfortunately, they didn't know me well enough. I unlocked my phone and opened a video call recording from yesterday. It was from Kelly. In the video, the "tomboy" girl wasn't acting like a bro. She was wearing translucent, seductive lingerie, panning the camera to show a sleeping man next to her. You could only see the man's side profile, but the implication was clear. Her eyes in the video were full of provocation. "Sloane, I heard you're engaging to the Vance family." "Too bad you'll never match my place in Julian's heart. Bet you anything that on your wedding night, he'll be wishing he was with me." I AirDropped the video to everyone in the room. "Enjoy the details," I said. "Is this a joke too? If it were you, could you accept your partner having a 'best friend' who sends videos like this to his fiancée?" The men I pointed at looked away, suddenly finding the floor patterns fascinating. They didn't dare breathe. I pointed a manicured finger at Kelly. "You. Speak." "If your boyfriend had a 'brother' like this, would you tolerate it?" Kelly trembled. She cast a desperate, pleading look at Julian. But Julian was staring at her in shock. clearly, he hadn't known she was bold enough to record him sleeping and taunt me with it. Kelly bit her lower lip until it turned white. Finally, looking like a martyr, she bowed deeply to me. "I'm sorry, Sloane." "Sending that video really was just a prank. I... I just wanted to test if you trusted Julian enough." She dragged out the word test, loading it with unspoken meaning. Seeing the stiffness in Julian's face melt away, Kelly knew she had survived. Tears began to stream down her face instantly. "I hope you can forgive me. I won't bother you again. I'll keep my distance from Julian." Before I could speak, my fiancé—my fiancé—rushed forward to help her up. He looked at me with disappointment. "Alright, Sloane. Kelly explained it. You've made your scene. Can we drop it now?" "Because of you, the party is ruined. Isn't that enough?" "If this engagement is called off, your family's business will suffer too. I suggest you learn your place and behave yourself." He supported the sobbing Kelly, who looked like she was about to faint from dehydration, and walked her out of the room. The rest of the "bros" looked at each other, then scrambled to follow him. They left me with glances ranging from pity to schadenfreude. I sat alone in the mess, the corners of my lips curling up. Julian was right about one thing. My family's business did need this merger. Which meant this game... could continue. 2 Julian’s frat-boy circle began to isolate me. They didn't speak to me for a week. The group chat I was in remained silent, save for a few boring news links. But thanks to my friends’ "accidental" sightings, I knew they had partied at four different nightclubs that week. I raised an eyebrow. This was getting exciting. Three days later, it was Julian's birthday. The Vance family threw a lavish banquet. To maintain the appearance of a happy union, he had to invite me as his fiancée. I bribed the Vance family's tailor to install a micro-camera in the lapel of Julian's suit. The tailor had looked at me with sheer terror. "Miss Lister, this is illegal. If Mr. Vance finds out, he'll kill me." I smiled at him, gentle and sweet. "Don't be silly." "It's just a little game between lovers. Julian loves jokes. He won't take a little prank seriously." I showed him the lens, my smile widening until it didn't reach my eyes. The tailor took one look at my expression and booked a flight out of the country that night. On the day of the banquet, Kelly ditched her usual gender-neutral style. She wore a stunning blue and white gown. The pattern on her chest matched Julian's tie perfectly. She walked in on Julian's arm. But the moment her eyes met mine, her face went pale. She took a dramatic step back, stumbling into one of Julian's friends. Her face was a mask of wronged innocence and fear. "I'm sorry, Sloane! I know you don't want to see me. I'll stay away from Julian!" She turned and ran. Julian glared at me with pure hatred, then chased after her toward the balcony. Julian's parents looked at me disapprovingly. "Sloane, we heard about the trouble you caused a few days ago." "We watched Kelly grow up. It's Julian's good fortune to have a friend like her." "Just because you're engaged doesn't mean you can strip Julian of his right to have friends." "A future Mrs. Vance needs to be magnanimous. Don't turn the house upside down over a few jokes." I tilted my head at them, feigning confusion. "So, what you're saying is, everything between them can be explained away as 'friendship' and 'jokes'?" "In that case, Julian and I are playing a little joke right now. I'm sure you won't mind." I pulled out my tablet and opened the live feed from the camera on Julian's chest. On the screen, Kelly was sobbing into Julian's embrace. "Julian, do we really have to stay apart forever? I don't want that." "Julian... can you give me one thing?" Julian's voice trembled. He sounded heartbroken. "Name it." "Anything." "A child. I want a baby." Kelly's voice dropped to a seductive whisper. "We're practically brothers, right? Our bond is for life. Don't you think raising a child together would be the ultimate bond? It’s stable... and thrilling." "We don't even need to sleep together. Just come to the clinic with me. We can do IVF..." Mr. and Mrs. Vance turned green. I almost laughed out loud. I already knew Kelly had an appointment at a fertility clinic. I knew the camera would catch something juicy, but I didn't expect her to pitch a sperm donation scheme in the middle of a birthday party. I looked at Mrs. Vance with wide, innocent eyes. "Mrs. Vance, I'm a bit slow. I can't tell what's a joke and what isn't." "Is Kelly serious about wanting your son's sperm?" 3 A few minutes later, Julian and Kelly walked back in. They stood a respectable two feet apart, looking the picture of restraint and propriety. No one would guess the filthy conversation they’d just had. Seeing me standing with his parents, a shadow crossed Kelly's eyes. She forced a broken, humble smile. "Uncle, Auntie, sorry I haven't visited lately." "I made a few jokes with Julian that upset Sloane, so I didn't dare show my face." Mrs. Vance shot her a cold look. She signaled for them to follow us into the private lounge. Kelly looked confused. Usually, Mrs. Vance would have hugged her and comforted her by now. The shock truly hit when the door closed. Slap. Mrs. Vance backhanded Kelly across the face. Tears sprang to Kelly's eyes instantly. Julian’s face twisted in anger. He moved to shield Kelly, looking ready to yell at his own mother. Mr. Vance kicked him hard in the back of the knee. Julian crumbled to the floor. Mrs. Vance, shaking with rage, glared at them. "I thought you two were just close friends. I didn't realize you were disgusting perverts behind our backs." "Planning a baby? Are you trying to saddle the Vance family with a bastard scandal?" "How are we supposed to explain this to the Listers?!" Julian's face went white. His gaze snapped to me, sharp as a dagger. "How do you know that? Were you spying on me?" I shrugged, tapping the tablet screen. "Like I said, I can't tell if you and your 'bro' are joking or being serious." "So, I figured I'd livestream it to your parents and let them decide." Julian's chest heaved. But surprisingly, he swallowed his pride. He lowered his head. "I'm sorry. Kelly and I crossed a line." "But I chose to marry you, Sloane. I won't betray you. I won't meet Kelly alone ever again." "After the wedding, I'll send her to Australia." Kelly let out a gasp. Julian shot her a warning look. She turned her glare on me, eyes full of venom. I didn't care. I shrugged again. I'm a mule, remember? What I want, I get. What I want to do, gets done. 4 The wedding day arrived quickly. Kelly volunteered to be my bridesmaid. Her dress was suspiciously similar in style to my wedding gown. And it matched Julian's suit perfectly. I watched them making eyes at each other, acting like tragic lovers torn apart by cruel fate. It was nauseating. After my makeup was done, I went to an empty lounge to rest. I sat down, and before I could react, a rope tightened around me, binding me to the chair. I turned my head just in time to receive a heavy slap from Kelly. She pried my jaw open and forced a cup of liquid down my throat. She smiled, a look of pure malice. "Sloane, you shouldn't have messed with me." "On your big day, I'm going to ruin you." "A bride seducing old men at her own wedding? Imagine if that gets livestreamed. Will the Lister family survive the shame?" I coughed, choking on the bitter liquid. "Aren't you afraid of my family's revenge?" I rasped. Kelly scoffed. "What is the Lister family without the Vance connection? Just another bankrupt tragedy waiting to happen." "You think I'm scared of you?" She smirked, ripping part of my dress and patting me down. "I know you like to record things. Don't worry, I'm checking you thoroughly." "After today, you and your family will be erased from high society." She signaled to two sleazy-looking older men by the window. With a victorious smile, she left the room. The two men looked at me with predatory eyes. I started laughing. Don't worry, Kelly. I prepared a show for you too. I hope you enjoy your leading role. The ceremony began. But the bride and groom were missing. My parents sat in the front row, faces stern. Mr. and Mrs. Vance were sweating through their formal wear. "In-laws," Mr. Vance stammered. "I've sent people to look." "Maybe Julian and Sloane got caught up talking. Young love, you know? They lose track of time." "We will give you an explanation." My father glanced at him sideways. "You better. Or that waterfront development project..." He let the threat hang. Mr. Vance looked like he might throw up. Suddenly, a static hum came from the speakers. "Ah," Mr. Vance said, relieved. "Here we go. The mic is on." But instead of a greeting, a woman’s crude, unmistakable moan echoed through the banquet hall. My parents’ faces turned to stone. 5 The hall had been filled with joyous chatter. Hearing the noise, guests froze, looking around in confusion. A few rich playboys in the back laughed. "Who has the balls to watch porn at a Lister wedding? Do they want to be chopped into pieces?" "Right? I heard the Listers just secured massive capital. They own this town now." Mr. Vance's face was chalk-white. My father cracked his knuckles. "Ye Cheng," he said, using Mr. Vance's full Chinese name, which he never did. "I hope you have a very satisfying explanation for this." Mr. Vance was sweating profusely. He shouted at his staff. "Cut the power to the mics! Find who is doing this! I'll kill them!" Mrs. Vance clutched her chest, looking ready to faint. She knew that voice. She knew it all too well. But before the staff could intervene, a massive projection screen slowly lowered at the front of the hall. The obscene image flickered to life. A man and a woman, entangled, desperate. Even through the screen, the heat between them was undeniable. The woman rolled over, exposing her face to the hundreds of guests. A collective gasp swept through the room. "Holy shit, isn't that the Vance family's adopted daughter? Kelly?" "You're right. Her dad was their driver who died saving Mr. Vance. Everyone knows the charity case." "Wait... doesn't the man look familiar?" No one dared to say the name out loud. They were afraid of slapping the Vance family in the face. But Julian had a mouth. And he was using it. On screen, his breathing was ragged, his voice thick with lust. "What's got into you today? Did you eat something? You're so... enthusiastic." Kelly buried her face in his neck, refusing to let go. Julian tried to push her gently. "Okay, okay. It's time. My parents are probably losing their minds." "If I don't go, Sloane is going to start another war." Kelly laughed, a muffled, dark sound. "What are you afraid of? Did you forget the plan?" "I fed her the drug. Right now, she's probably playing with those old men, losing her mind. It's all being livestreamed to the internet." Hearing this, my father shot up from his chair. The guests turned pale. They looked like they wanted to run. The Lister family was famous for protecting their daughter. Hearing a plot like this... were they all going to be silenced as witnesses? 6 My father grabbed Mr. Vance by the collar. "Ye Cheng, you animal! You begged us for this marriage!" "Now your son conspires with an outsider to destroy my daughter?" "If anything happens to Sloane, I will burn your entire family to the ground." Mr. Vance's legs gave out. He was practically dangling. "Mr. Lister, I swear, I didn't know! I swear!" "I promise I will return Sloane to you unharmed! Please, give me a chance!" I rolled my eyes from the doorway. I pushed the heavy doors open and walked in. "Relax, Dad. I'm fine." If I had relied on the Vance family, I would be destroyed by now. Hearing my voice, my father exhaled a breath that sounded like a sob. He waved me over frantically. The moment I reached them, my mother smacked me on the butt. "Are you trying to kill us? We almost had heart attacks!" "Why didn't you warn us? You want us to die of shock?" I winced but didn't argue. People didn't know that in the Lister house, Mom was the real boss. Before Dad's company hit that minor crisis years ago, Mom had already fixed it before the rumors even spread. Julian was naive to think he could manipulate me. He didn't know this marriage was something his father had begged for on his knees. And from the moment I met Kelly, I had decided to end this. Julian wasn't worthy of marrying into my family. They never stopped to think: without my parents' absolute backing, how would I dare to be such a literal, vengeful "mule"? It takes heavy resources and heavy love to be this fearless. I turned to the Vances and gave a polite, ladylike smile. "Sorry, Auntie, Uncle. Like I said, low IQ, low EQ." "You kept saying Kelly was just joking. I recorded them before, and you didn't do anything." "So, I figured... why not let everyone see the joke together?" I took the microphone from the stunned MC and turned to the crowd. "Julian says Kelly is just his 'bro.'" "Kelly told me it's all just 'banter.'" "What do you think? Is this a joke?"
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