I found out my brother is the "villainous white moonlight" in a romance novel—the manipulative ex-boyfriend who tries to ruin the female lead’s life—while he was lying in the bathtub, about to hurt himself. I kicked the bathroom door open. "Go downstairs and buy me a pack of spicy Takis, a bag of Lay's, and a Gatorade." My brother froze. "But..." "I'm counting to three!" My brother shot up from the water like a rocket. "Sis, do you want the Fuego or the Blue Heat?" Just then, a row of bullet comments floated across my vision. [LMAO, isn't the villain supposed to be ruthless, paranoid, and depressed? Why is he such a sis-con?] [This is the terrifying power of sibling suppression!] [Hahaha, this villain actually knows the difference between Takis flavors. He must buy them often!] 1 The bathroom door wobbled on its hinges from my kick. My brother frantically hid a fruit knife behind his back. I gave him a deadpan look, pulled a fifty out of my pocket, and gritted my teeth. "Five bucks for gas, not a cent more." "Can't we just DoorDash it?" My brother pouted, looking aggrieved. "Delivery is unhealthy!" He paused, clearly confused by my logic, but grabbed a towel off the rack and headed out, muttering, "Like Takis are any healthier." After he left, I glanced at the fruit knife hidden by the tub. It was clean. I thought back to the floating text I saw earlier while binge-watching TV on the couch. [Sister is still watching TV! Go control your brother, he's secretly plotting again!] [But the sister probably doesn't know yet. Her brother is the villainous white moonlight in a 'chasing husband' novel. He blackens completely because he can't stand the female lead using the male lead as his substitute!] [But the villain's sister never seemed to like her ungrateful brother anyway...] [Forget it, sis, just run. Your villain brother is going to self-destruct soon, and he'll even get you killed!] Me: "??" Why did this sound exactly like the trashy novel plots I've been reading? But wait. My brother is going to self-destruct soon? And I'm going to die too?? Hell no! The fortune teller said I'm destined for great wealth. I work out every day, put collagen in my coffee, and even say a little prayer before eating to bless the souls of the... rice grains I consume! How could I end up dying young? Absolutely not! My brother came back with the Takis, chips, and yogurt drink. He placed them by my hand. "Sis, they didn't have Gatorade, so I got you a yogurt drink." Then he started tip-toeing back toward the bathroom. "Cook dinner," I said, munching on a chip without looking up. "I want sweet and sour pork ribs and crispy beef." My brother froze, then resignedly turned toward the kitchen. 2 Half an hour later, the table was filled with my favorite dishes. My brother looked at me cautiously. "Dinner's ready." "Coming." I nodded, putting down my snacks. My brother seemed anxious. He ate two bites and put down his chopsticks. He sat opposite me, lips pressed together, watching me gnaw on a rib while eyeing the crispy beef. Rule of the house: Kids don't leave the table until the elders are done. I ate slowly. My brain was spinning, trying to figure out how to stop him from slitting his wrists and framing the male and female leads. The bullet comments were confused by my behavior. [Sister has a great appetite today. She ate five dishes by herself!] [Yeah, didn't she used to say her brother's cooking sucks? Why is she eating so much?] [Is it just me, or is the sister acting weird...] I frowned and blurted out, "Who said my brother's cooking sucks? It's delicious!" As soon as I said it, a burning gaze fixed on me. When I looked up, he immediately looked away. My brother pushed a dish closer to me, his voice a little hoarse. "As long as you like it." I stared at his evasive eyes and red ears, my eyes stinging. Busy with work, I hadn't properly looked at this brother of mine—who I've relied on since we were kids—in a long time. 3 I blinked. I shoved a few more mouthfuls of rice in. After eating, my brother skillfully started washing dishes. Once everything was cleaned up, he headed for the bathroom again. And locked the door. I walked over and knocked. "Bro, go walk Buster. It's dark out and I'm scared to be alone. Chop chop." Silence from inside. I turned to the balcony and nudged the sleeping Samoyed with my foot. He picked Buster up from a dumpster when he was twelve. Afraid I'd be mad, he didn't dare bring him home, feeding him with his own lunch money. From a tiny pup, he grew into this big, goofy lug. Buster, annoyed at the forced reboot, barked at me twice. The bathroom door opened. My brother looked emotionless, just looking for the leash. "Buster, come!" The bullet comments exploded. [This isn't a villain, this is the sister's loyal puppy!] [Framing the male lead can wait. If Sister wants ribs, she gets ribs. Walking Buster is more important than being evil...] [But why do I feel like the sister is trying to stop the villain from framing the male lead?] [+1. In the book, the suicide happens today. Does this mean if today passes, the male lead won't be framed?] True or false, I had to try! 4 We went out. My brother walked Buster, picking up his poop. I followed behind. Sipping fresh-squeezed orange juice, eyeing the kebab stand... By the time I bought a kebab, the dog was gone, and so was my brother. My heart sank. An image of my brother holding up a bloody wrist, accusing the female lead, flashed in my mind. Just as I was about to call him... "Sis." Under a broken streetlamp in the park stood a boy and a dog. My brother waved his phone. "Been waiting for ages. Let's go home." My heart felt wrapped in warmth, but I put on a grumpy face. "What's the rush? Can't you walk slower?" "Okay." My brother shortened the leash, his tone careful. "Sorry, Sis. Buster ran too fast." He slowed down. His phone flashlight was pointed entirely at me, silently lighting my path. Walking through the dark patch, I could feel his arm stiffen. He seemed afraid of me. Under the warm yellow streetlights... My brother held the dog in one hand, and my half-drunk juice and unfinished kebab in the other. I walked calmly, lightly tugging his sleeve. Two hours later. I dragged my brother around the park loop after loop until Buster couldn't walk anymore and played dead on the pavement... Only then did I stop. As soon as we got home, I pointed at Buster. "Give him a bath. He stinks."

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