Chapter 1 The summer after graduation, Scott and I finally crossed the line. Caught up in the heat of the moment, I couldn’t help but cry out, only to hear him whisper a name. "Luna." But my name is Rainie. Luna is my twin sister. I froze, looking up at Scott with uncertainty. "Who did you just call?" "Rainie," Scott breathed, leaning down to kiss my eyelids, not breaking his rhythm. "You’re distracted. Am I not trying hard enough?" His movements became more aggressive, shattering my doubts. Scott was a varsity athlete—star of the track team. He had stamina for days and knew exactly what he was doing. I trembled, pushing weakly against his chest. "Stop..." He leaned close to my ear, his voice raspy. "Babe, let’s try being on top." All night, he tossed me around like a ragdoll. No matter how much I cried or begged for a break, he wouldn't stop. It wasn't until dawn that he finally seemed satisfied and went to the bathroom to shower. I collapsed on the bed, feeling like my body had been dismantled. That’s when the phone on the nightstand started blowing up. Ding. Ding. Ding. It was Scott’s phone. I instinctively glanced over and saw a WeChat notification pop up on the lock screen. bro congrats on finally popping the cherry last night! My heart skipped a beat. My hands were shaking as I unlocked his phone. I opened the group chat Scott had with his teammates, and I froze. In the middle of the night, Scott had posted a photo of the bloodstained bedsheet. Below the photo was a stream of messages: Bro, did you actually do it with Rainie? I thought you were obsessed with Luna? You guys don't get it. They’re twins. They look the same, bodies are basically the same. Scott’s just using Rainie for target practice. Gotta get some experience so he doesn't hurt Luna when they finally get together. True that. Luna is Scott’s goddess. Better to break in the spare tire first so he knows how to treat the real deal... The words were like shrapnel, exploding in my brain and leaving everything blank. I had imagined a million reasons why Scott chose me. I never imagined this. Scott was the school’s golden boy. Popular, athletic, dangerous. I was the quiet one. The nerd. The background character. We shouldn't have crossed paths, until sophomore year when I had a period accident during gym class. Scott had tied his varsity jacket around my waist. Since then, there was breakfast on my desk every morning and a handwritten love letter in my locker every day. First love took root in my heart. But I never understood why Scott chose me. I once asked him, "Why do you like me?" He said, "Because it’s you." My teenage love, the gamble of my entire youth... it was all just a carefully orchestrated "trial run." I clenched my fingers until my knuckles turned white. The water in the bathroom stopped. I panicked, closed the app, and put the phone back. The door opened. Scott walked out with a towel around his waist, water droplets clinging to his abs. "You're up. Hungry?" He walked to the bed, asking tenderly, his eyes scanning the red marks on my collarbone. I looked at him, but all I could hear was the hallucination of him calling out "Luna" last night. "Not hungry." Seeing my red eyes, Scott hugged me nervously. His hand slipped under my shirt, clearly wanting to go for round two. I didn't want him to touch me. I didn't want to be a tool anymore. I pushed him away. "No. It hurts." Scott withdrew his hand, looking apologetic as he smoothed my shirt. "I lost control last night. You rest. I’ll go downstairs and grab breakfast. Need to cool off anyway." He dressed and left the hotel room. Staring at the stain on the white sheets, I felt like my soul had been sucked out. For two years of secret dating, I hid it from teachers, hid it from classmates, and did everything Scott wanted. He wanted to go to Capital U, so I made Capital U my goal. He wanted to hold hands under the desk, so I let him while reciting vocabulary. He wanted to meet behind the bleachers, so I gave him my first kiss. Now that finals were over, he said he wanted a "rite of passage," so I came to this hotel and gave him my virginity. I thought this love would last forever. I didn't expect the truth to be a guillotine. Since he liked Luna all along, then I was done. I got dressed, walked out of the hotel, found a pharmacy across the street, and awkwardly asked for the morning-after pill. The clerk looked me up and down, frowned, and slammed a box on the counter. "Why didn't your boyfriend use protection? This stuff is bad for you, kid." My face burned. There were condoms on the hotel nightstand. I had tried to make Scott use one, but he had just bitten my ear, whispering, "Rainie, it doesn't feel good with that on. I’m hurting, babe. Just let me, okay? I promise I’ll pull out." My softness was rewarded with betrayal. I paid and thanked the clerk. "Thanks. Just this once." I would never believe Scott’s lies again. Chapter 2 Before I even left the store, I heard whispering behind me. "Kids these days. No self-respect." "Looks like a good girl, but buying Plan B at her age? Trashy." Their words were like a whip across my face. I walked fast, swallowing the pill dry with a bottle of water at the bus stop. I choked, coughing until tears came out. "Rainie!" Scott ran toward me, panic in his eyes. "Why did you leave the hotel? You didn't answer my texts. Are you trying to ghost me after last night?" He looked aggrieved, like I was the heartless one. I wanted to laugh, but my chest just hurt. "I went to buy Plan B." I waved the empty box. His face changed, flashing with guilt. "You should have told me. Or let me buy it. I was worried." "Won't happen next time." Scott sensed I was off. He grabbed my hand. "I couldn't hold back last night. I'll be careful next time." "The Class President organized a graduation party at the City Center. Let's go together." I took a step back, pulling my hand away. "We haven't gone public. To avoid gossip, we should go separately." Scott froze, then nodded. "Okay. I’ll catch a cab." I didn't look back. I got on the bus. Scott had promised to announce our relationship after graduation. But in the group chat, he talked trash and denied me. Hidden in the bro-code was the truth. This relationship didn't need to be public. It needed to be buried. When I got to the party, the private room was full. Luna, dressed like a princess, was surrounded by people. Scott was sitting next to her, peeling lychees for her. The guys were jeering. "Scott, we're graduating. Aren't you gonna confess to the Class Beauty? Once college starts, you'll have too much competition!" Everyone knew Scott treated Luna well. While he dated me in the shadows, in the light, he carried her books and bought her lunch. He even rallied the guys to vote her Prom Queen. Whatever. We were twins. We looked alike. Back then, Scott’s excuse was: "Rainie, your sister is frail. If I don't hype her up, people will bully her. You're different. You have me." I was so stupid. I thought he just loved me so much he loved my family too. I pushed the door open. Scott looked at me without a hint of guilt. Luna jumped up. "Sis! You didn't come home all night! Mom and Dad were worried sick!" The room went silent. Then the whispers started. "Whoa, the valedictorian stayed out all night?" "Rainie looks like a nun, but plays dirty..." Luna looked secretly pleased. "None of your business," I said calmly. I tried to walk past her, but she grabbed my arm, feigning sisterly love. "Sit next to me!" She tugged my shirt down, exposing the hickeys Scott left on my collarbone. "Omg, Sis, what is that?" Luna gasped. Everyone stared. Judgment, mockery, disgust. "Pure nerd? More like thirsty." "Look at those marks. Must have been a rough night." "I didn't know she had a boyfriend. Did she just hook up with some random thug for a graduation gift?" I pulled my shirt up, looking at Scott in humiliation. He didn't even look at me. He kept peeling fruit for Luna. I steeled myself. "Nothing. Dog bit me. It's an allergic reaction." A dog with no conscience. Chapter 3 The room erupted in laughter, guessing which "dog" I’d slept with. Scott’s face darkened. He tapped the table. "Everyone's here. Let's eat." Silence fell. The Class President smoothed things over. "Right, right. Eat up, guys." Everyone started talking about summer plans. Traveling, driving school, part-time jobs. After dinner, we played games. Luna drew a dare: Choose a boy to princess-carry you for one minute. The boys cheered. Luna looked shyly at Scott. "Scott... can you help me?" Scott pursed his lips, scooped her up with one arm effortlessly. "Hold on tight." Luna squealed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Scott's a beast!" the guys yelled. I looked away, curling my fingers into my palms. Next round, I got picked. Drink three shots of baijiu or kiss a guy in the room. The boys smirked. I glanced at Scott. He sat next to Luna, avoiding my eyes. "I already played the knight tonight. I’m sitting this one out." A slap in the face would have hurt less. I grabbed the glass and downed the liquor. It burned like acid. I teared up and ran to the bathroom to throw up. I splashed water on my face, staring at the mirror. Red eyes, messy hair, visible hickeys. I looked like a clown. I fixed my clothes and forced a smile at my reflection. "It has to hurt to heal, Rainie. Don't be afraid." I didn't go back in. I texted the President that I was leaving and walked out. On the bus, I opened WeChat and scrolled through two years of chat history with Scott. Rainie, I like you. Be mine? Can't sleep. Thinking of you. Photos of him playing basketball, us in our uniforms. I used to treat these gigabytes like treasure. Now, my fingers trembling, I selected the 6.9 GB file and hit [Delete]. It was gone. Like he never loved me. I got home. Slap! My dad hit me so hard I fell to the floor, ears ringing. "You disgrace! Out all night, now drinking? Have you no shame?" I looked up. Luna and Mom were on the sofa, watching. "It was a class party. I drank a little and got sick. Luna can verify," I rasped. Luna jumped in. "There was a party, but Rainie left early without telling anyone. I can't verify anything." "Just because exams are over doesn't mean you can go wild! You're embarrassing us!" Mom looked disappointed. "Rainie, why can't you be like your sister? If you were half as good as Luna, your father wouldn't be this angry." I knelt there, lip bleeding. On the coffee table, I saw a travel brochure: [Luxury Bali Trip for Three]. It was signed by Mom, Dad, and Luna. "You're taking Luna to Bali? Leaving me here?" Mom’s eyes shifted. "Luna won a raffle at the mall. Only three tickets. We have to go with her." "Stay home and reflect on your behavior. We'll take you next time." I smirked. "When is next time?" Luna was born frail. The doctors said I "stole her nutrients" in the womb. My parents always favored her. My toys became hers. The chicken drumsticks were hers. "Next time, we'll buy two," Mom always said. Next time never came. Dad raised his hand again. "Don't talk back! Go to your room!" I stumbled upstairs. My phone buzzed. It was my homeroom teacher, Mr. Li. Rainie, come in tomorrow morning to estimate your score and discuss college applications. Okay, I replied. College. My escape route. The next morning, Mr. Li beamed at me. "Based on your answers, you'll easily get into Capital U. I know that's your goal." "Here's their brochure." I looked at it. Capital U was Scott’s dream. "Mr. Li," I said, voice steady. "I want to apply for early admission to the Northwest Research Institute." Far away from home. Far away from Scott. Chapter 4 Mr. Li paused. "The Northwest? Why go so far? The resources aren't as good as Beijing." I gave the speech I’d rehearsed all night. "I want to contribute to the nation's defense development." He admired my resolve but hesitated. "It's a big decision. Discuss it with your parents?" "No need. I'm eighteen. I can decide. Please keep it a secret, Mr. Li." He submitted my application to the early admission system. "Go home and pack. If you get in, you leave next month." I thanked him and walked out. Scott was waiting at the stairs. "Teacher said you're leaving? Where are you going?" I dodged him. "Nowhere. He meant we're all leaving for college soon." Scott followed me. "You didn't text me goodnight yesterday. Are you mad? I kept my distance at the party because they were teasing Luna. I didn't want to embarrass her." He tried to ruffle my hair. I dodged. "I'm Luna's twin," I said bluntly. "Did you like her from the beginning?" Scott frowned. "No way. Why would I date you then?" "Rainie, I belong to you now. You aren't trying to bail on me, are you?" Luna popped her head around the corner. "Scott! You said you'd help me estimate my score!" "Coming!" Scott yelled back. Then he looked at me apologetically. "I promised her. Don't overthink it. I'll help you later." He walked away. "They look so cute together," a junior sighed nearby. "I heard they kissed at the party." I laughed bitterly. I went to the dorms to pack. In my drawer was a diary of us. I tore it up and threw it in the trash. A photo of Scott playing basketball fell out. Before I could grab it, a classmate snatched it. "Isn't Scott with Luna? Why do you have his pic, Rainie?" "Twins share everything, even boyfriends, right?" "Gross. Fantasizing about her sister's man." I snatched the photo back. "Rumors aren't facts. I don't like Scott. And I don't pick up trash." I ripped the photo to shreds and threw it out the window. The pieces rained down on Scott, who was walking below. He looked up, locking eyes with me. Chapter 5 "Jiang Shiyu, what is your problem?" Scott looked annoyed. I ignored him, turning back to my packing. He called me repeatedly. I ignored the calls. When I walked out of the dorms, he blocked my path, holding the confetti of his photo. "Explain." He had picked up every piece in the hot sun. He smelled like sweat and summer. "Roommate saw it," I lied smoothly. "You said keep it secret. I had to destroy the evidence to stop the rumors." Scott deflated. "I'm not trying to hide you forever. Just... not yet." "It's fine. I get it." He relaxed, thinking he’d won. He pulled out some papers. "I got the answer keys. Let's calculate your score." "Mr. Li already did it." I walked away. Scott watched me go. I didn't care anymore. I walked toward the bus stop, watching the sunset over my high school days. Suddenly—Ring ring! A bike came hurtling toward me. It was Luna. She was aiming right for me. I dodged. Crash! She swerved, hitting a billboard and knocking it over. I stumbled and fell, scraping my knees. "Luna!" Scott’s voice. He ran over, ignoring me, and scooped Luna up. "Rainie! Why did you jump in front of the bike? That was dangerous!" "She was crossing the road and hit me!" I shouted. Luna sobbed into his chest. "I just wanted to say hi to Sis... the brakes failed... I didn't mean to..." "It's okay, I'll take you to the hospital," Scott cooed. A security guard ran over. "Hey! That sign cost five hundred bucks! Who broke it? You gotta pay!" Luna pointed at me. "Officer, she was riding the bike. She hit me and the sign." I stared at her. "No, she hit it. Ask him!" I pointed to Scott. The guard looked at Scott. Scott hesitated. Then, he pointed at me. "She was riding the bike."
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