I am the villain’s canary. But there's a catch: I’m incredibly lazy. When the villain went bankrupt, the System told me to humiliate him, dump him, and reignite his fighting spirit so he could make a comeback. I said no. Too much effort to yell. Roman Sterling gripped my chin, his voice fierce: "Everyone else left. Why didn't you? Are you staying to watch me suffer?" I yawned slowly. "Too lazy to run." His eyes reddened, and he muttered self-deprecatingly: "I'm a failure now, a broke nobody. I can't give you the luxurious life you're used to..." I patted his head. "Okay, okay. Doesn't it tire you out to talk so much? Come here, let's take a nap." So. To keep me from starving, Roman pulled himself together. He worked three jobs a day, running himself ragged. In the original story, this was the time he was supposed to be dating the heroine to deepen their bond. Instead, Roman was at home, kneeling on one knee, meticulously tying the bow on my dress. The System screamed: "What is wrong with you people? You're breaking the script!" 1 I’m Linnea, the "canary" of the powerful Roman Sterling. And I am lazy. People say Roman is great at keeping secrets because, despite being with him for so long, there isn't a single photo of me online. Well... Actually, I just stay home all day. Too lazy to go out. Becoming his canary was an accident. After college, I sent a resume to his company. Desired Position: "Do little, earn much." Bio: "Good taste." Roman clutched that resume, thought about it, guessed, and still didn't understand. Driven by curiosity, he interviewed me personally. I explained: "It means 'good taste, lazy nature.'" He frowned, confused. "Why didn't you write the whole thing?" I took a sip of water. Speaking at 0.75x speed, I said three words: "Too lazy to." Roman: "......" Even though the interview was a disaster, I got the job. Roman needed a professional canary to dodge a business marriage. I weighed it in my mind— High pay, low effort. Work from home. I have low energy and poor circulation. Walk two steps, want to squat. Stand up too fast, black out. But my sleep quality is top-tier. Roman really appreciated that. He's sensitive and gloomy. Childhood trauma, bullied in school, stabbed in the back by business partners... He's suspicious and tense. Insomniac. Every night, he uses me as a human body pillow. Smells my shampoo. Pinches my waist. Then he relaxes and sleeps like a baby. Besides sleeping, I do nothing. Every day I open my eyes to gifts and money transfers. Truly... The dream job. 2 But now, things are bad. Roman was set up. He's bankrupt. He's been MIA for days, dealing with the mess. Dissolving the company, selling assets, paying severance. As for me. He didn't even see me in person. Just a text. "I can't afford a breakup fee." "The gifts are yours. Keep them." "Leave." I was devastated. I slept for 15 hours straight. When I woke up, a System was in my head. It said: This is a novel. Roman is the gloomy villain. I am a plot device canary. "Just now, right now!" The System yelled passionately. "Pretend to be a gold digger! Slap him! Call him a loser! Dump him to ignite his fighting spirit!" "Only then can he rise again, meet his childhood crush—the heroine—and start a 200-chapter love triangle saga..." I covered my ears. "No." Slapping and yelling? Sounds exhausting. The System threatened: "As a tool, your mission is to push the plot. If you fail, you get electrocuted." I used all my strength to roll over. "Zap me then." "..." It gave up. Please. I'm lazy, not stupid. If I actually crushed Roman's dignity... With his personality? Once he bounced back... He'd turn me into mincemeat. 3 Three days later, I finally went to find Roman. The fallen prince went from a penthouse in the CBD to a dark, cramped basement apartment. He had stubble, slumped on the floor, surrounded by smoke and booze. Seeing me, he laughed bitterly. "Didn't you leave? Why come back?" "What, did I miss a valuable watch or something?" I shook my head and handed him a bank card. "While you were gone, I contacted a luxury reseller." "This money can help with your debts." Roman was a generous sugar daddy. Back in his glory days, he made me a VIC at every luxury brand. New collections were sent directly to me. So, my clothes, bags, watches, jewelry... filled a whole room. His voice trembled, disbelief in his eyes: "Those things... you never even unboxed them. You sold them all?!" Um... Actually, I was just too lazy to unbox them. And because they were mint condition, they sold for way more. But if he wants to think I sacrificed for him, sure. Too lazy to argue. Speaking of which, my stomach growled. To cover the awkwardness, I whispered: "I eat very little. I won't be a burden. Don't kick me out..." A boss/sugar daddy like him is hard to find. He sniffled. "Okay." We went downstairs to a hole-in-the-wall spot for a $5 bento box. He pushed the box to me and ate a plain bun with pickles. "See? I'm a loser now. If you stay, this cheap food is your future." I shrugged. "What's wrong with it?" I pointed at the food: "Look. Carbs, protein, fiber. Balanced diet. And for five bucks, there's even ribs? The owner is a saint!" I split my chopsticks and gave him most of the ribs. I lay down all day, low calorie burn. I really don't eat much. His eyes got redder. "Are you really okay with this?" "Before, you ate..." Yeah, before, Michelin chefs cooked for me. Lobster, wagyu, truffle... everything. So what? I was too lazy to chew. I blended it all into a smoothie and drank it. But not anymore. The blender got repossessed by the bank. I sucked on a sweet and sour rib. Hmm, tastier than a smoothie. Meeting my clear gaze, Roman sighed. And started rambling: "Forget it. You were spoiled. You don't know real hardship. You'll learn." "Your youth is precious. Don't waste it on me. If you regret it, leave anytime. I won't touch the money in the card. The bankruptcy is on me..." He sounded like a nagging dad. Old Roman: Cold, gloomy, silent. New Roman: Worrywart. I patted his head to interrupt the spell. "Okay, stop. Aren't you tired of talking?" "Your eyes are red. Insomnia again? Come here, let's nap." I opened my suitcase. Before the bank sealed the house, they let me take a few personal items. I took my pillow and duvet. No matter how hard life gets, a good nap gives you strength. The bed was soft. Warm. Roman didn't hug me for once. He turned his back, shoulders shaking, crying silently. Just as I was drifting off... He kissed the top of my head. "Linnea, I promise I'll give you the good life back." 4 After that day, Roman got his mojo back. He worked three jobs. Sales by day, writing business plans for college kids by evening, food delivery by night. He said if he didn't hustle, I'd starve. Sigh, I was trying to figure out how to make money lying down. Thinking about it made me sleepy. ... Whatever, nap first. Before crawling into bed, I had an idea. Set up a tripod. Livestream myself sleeping. I yawned. Minutes later, deep sleep. Passersby thought it was a bit. If they donated, I'd wake up and say thanks. Someone sent a "Heart". Nothing happened. I was dead to the world. They sent "Sunglasses". Still nothing. Their rebellious spirit kicked in. They started spamming gifts to see when I'd wake up. Rainbows, paper planes, hot air balloons... The higher the gift value, the more the algorithm pushed the stream. More people flooded in to watch me sleep. The chat scrolled fast. "WTF, this streamer is a diva. How much to wake her up?" "Why are we watching someone sleep? Boring." "But she sleeps so peacefully. Jealous." "Those sheets look comfy. Link?" "Link for the pajamas?" [+1] ... When I woke up. I had made $100 in gifts. And a pajama brand sent a DM asking for a collab. Surprise! With this money, Roman doesn't have to deliver food. Just as I was about to call him... A voice in my head. The System was back. Last time, it called Roman a loser and me a "Loser Pro Max". After realizing I didn't care, it left in a huff. But this time. It sounded happy. "Wow, you're a genius!" "I underestimated you. You're playing 4D chess!" I was confused. "???" I didn't do anything. The System excitedly said: "Exactly! Because you did nothing, the plot went off the rails in a weird way!" "Roman has his fight back. AND while delivering food tonight to a luxury apartment, he met the White Moonlight heroine early!" ...Huh? So it happened anyway? Does that mean... I'm getting fired?
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