I have a normal personality type. So when the System told me I was the long-lost daughter of a wealthy family, it was a little confused. [Your birth parents favor the fake heiress. Shouldn't you be furious?] "That's pretty normal. People get attached to a puppy or a kitten, let alone a person they've raised for eighteen years." [Your fiancé can't stand the sight of you. Shouldn't you be filled with resentment?] "That's pretty normal. I'd be pissed too if someone told me I had to marry a complete stranger." [Your classmates are mocking your English accent. Shouldn't you want to burn the world down?] "That's pretty normal. I hear myself talk and I want to laugh. Why can't they?" The System short-circuited. [I can't work with this. I really can't. Who programmed a saint into this role?!] 1 On my eighteenth birthday, my uncle told me I was the real heiress, switched at birth with the daughter of a powerful family. On the car ride to my new home, a ding sounded in my head, and the System came online. It told me that when I got home, my parents would be cold and distant, treating me like a weed in their perfectly manicured garden. My fiancé, destined for me since birth, would despise me and make my life a living hell. Crushed by despair, I would develop stomach cancer and die filled with regret. Only then would my parents and fiancé realize their mistake and be consumed by remorse. [To help you rewrite your destiny, become the ultimate main character, and conquer your family, I will provide full support to guide you to the pinnacle of life!] I leaned against the car door, half-asleep. "Oh. Thanks." The System paused. [Aren't you excited? Thrilled? This is life-changing! It's a cheat code! ...Are you, like, dead inside?] I let out a silent sigh. "If you had to get up at four every morning to cook, do laundry, clean the house, and slop the pigs, then walk to school at six-thirty, skip lunch, and work for two hours washing dishes at a diner after school... you'd want to be dead too." The System was impressed. [Worthy of a main character! To endure all that and not even curse someone out?!] I gave a weak smile. I’d spent the last sixteen years cursing the heavens, but when I realized the heavens weren't listening, I gave up. It wasn't that I stopped fighting. It was that I had no fight left in me. 2 We chatted on and off like that, and at some point, I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, the car was gliding through the grounds of a mansion so vast I couldn't see the end of it. The driver opened my door. "Miss, we're home." Three people stood beside the car: a distinguished-looking middle-aged couple and a girl so beautiful she looked like a princess. The System informed me they were my father, my mother, and Phoebe, the girl who had been raised in my place. After a brief, slightly awkward greeting, they led me inside. The dining room table was groaning with a feast. My stomach was already rumbling, and my eyes were glued to the glistening roast, the platters of crab legs, and the crispy chicken. After dinner, my mother had a maid show me to my room on the second floor. The moment the door closed, I dove face-first into the soft duvet. It was so comfortable I felt like I was floating on a cloud. I had barely started to float when the System's voice exploded in my head. [I AM FUMING! FUMING! THIS IS UNFORGIVABLE! Host, just give the word and I will go zap your parents!] I poked my head out from under the covers, completely bewildered. "Huh? Why?" [WHY?!] the System shrieked. [Weren't you paying attention just now? During dinner, your parents kept putting food on the fake heiress's plate, but they didn't give you a single piece!] I thought about it and scratched my head. "That's pretty normal. My own plate was already piled so high there was no room for more." [And what about how they barely said a word to you? They were so afraid of upsetting the precious fake heiress that they didn't even ask if you were tired from the trip!] "That's pretty normal, too. I was too busy eating to talk anyway. Even if they'd asked, my mouth was full." [But the worst part! Your room is only a third of the size of hers! There's a much bigger room right next door, but they put you in here, obviously because they're scared of upsetting Phoebe's delicate feelings!] I rolled over on the massive, comfortable bed. "I think it's great. If the room was any bigger, it would take forever to get to the bathroom." Besides, I used to sleep on a sofa. Now I had my own private room in a house that looked like a castle. What more could I ask for? Suddenly, I smelled something burning. I shot up. "Is something on fire?!" The System ground its digital teeth. [It's fine! That's just the smoke coming out of my ears!] I ignored the fuming System, took a long, luxurious bath in the en-suite bathroom, and slept soundly from ten at night until seven in the morning. Waking up, I felt like I'd gone to heaven. "So this is what it feels like to be well-fed and well-rested!" [Pathetic,] the System muttered. I decided to ignore it, not wanting to trigger another explosion. After tidying my room, I went downstairs. The living room was empty. I wandered outside and found the butler watering the flowers in the garden. "Miss, you're up so early," he greeted me with a kind smile. "You must have been exhausted yesterday. You should have slept in." I helped him move a heavy pot. "I'm a good sleeper. One hour for me is like three for anyone else. This is actually late for me." We chatted while we worked, and around nine, the housekeeper announced that breakfast was ready. My parents came downstairs, but Phoebe was nowhere to be seen. Noticing my questioning glance, my father explained, "Phoebe's a little sleepyhead. She won't be up before ten-thirty." I sipped the rich milk and ate the sweet bread, feeling so happy I could fly. I barely registered his words, just nodded cheerfully. [I CAN'T WITH YOU!] the System erupted again. I jumped, spilling a few drops of milk. [What are they bragging about?! While their precious fake daughter is snoozing in bed, you would have already slopped the pigs twice!] I tried to soothe it mentally. Calm down. Everyone has different habits. Some people are early birds, some are night owls. You could pump me full of sleeping pills, and I'd still be wide awake by now. My parents saw my hand tremble and exchanged a look, their expressions shifting slightly. My mother peeled a hard-boiled egg and placed it by my hand. "Iris," she said softly, "did you sleep well? Is there anything you're not used to? I noticed your clothes seem a bit small. How about I take you shopping today?" I looked down at the sleeves of my shirt, which barely reached my forearms, and answered her questions one by one. My father handed me a credit card. "This is for your allowance. Buy whatever you like." I nodded, about to thank them, when Phoebe came downstairs. She stumbled down, half-asleep, and threw her arms around my mother's neck. "Mommy, my head hurts." My mother immediately pressed her forehead against Phoebe's. "Oh dear, you're burning up! You must have a fever. I told you not to wear that little dress yesterday. Now you've caught a cold." Phoebe just blinked her big eyes and whined, "It hurts so much." My father stood up and bent over. "Come on, Daddy will carry you back up to bed. We'll have the doctor come over." Phoebe climbed onto his back without a second thought. My mother hovered nervously, steadying her as they went back upstairs, murmuring to each other. [SEE?! LOOK AT THAT MANIPULATIVE LITTLE... Your parents finally talk to you for two seconds, and she immediately steals them away! This is outrageous... ARE YOU STILL EATING?!] I was starting to get used to the System's constant state of alarm. I calmly finished my breakfast and took my plate to the kitchen. "That's pretty normal," I said, rinsing the plate. "She has a fever. People are vulnerable when they're sick. It's natural to want your parents close." [But you never had your parents with you when you were sick!] the System retorted. That was true. My adoptive parents had died in a car crash when I was five. It wasn't that they didn't want to be there; they couldn't be. I dried the plate and put it away. "I have a strong constitution. I rarely get sick. And when I do, I recover quickly. I don't need anyone to look after me." 3 With Phoebe sick, my mother couldn't take me shopping. So I went to the mall by myself, with the System acting as my fashion consultant. As I paid, the System sounded surprised. [I didn't expect you to shop here. I figured you'd go to a wholesale market and buy a dozen five-dollar t-shirts.] I had already changed into one of the new outfits. The fabric was crisp, the cut was elegant, and it made me look surprisingly refined. Clothes really do make the person. "It's not that cheap clothes are always bad, and it's not like I'm a pauper who suddenly struck it rich and lost her mind," I said, tapping the credit card in my phone case. "Even a wealthy family wouldn't just hand a kid a million-dollar line of credit for fun. My parents are making a gesture. If I took all this money and still dressed like a scarecrow to fish for pity, it would just make them feel awkward and make me look pathetic. That would be insane, right?" [You...] The System stammered. "What?" [You're... not a complete idiot after all.] "..." I pursed my lips. "Wow. Thanks for the compliment." 4 When I got home, there was a young man sitting on the living room sofa. He turned his head at the sound of my arrival. [Julian Croft. The male lead of this story. Your official fiancé.] This wasn't the era of arranged marriages anymore. And even if it were a strategic alliance between families, Phoebe was, for all intents and purposes, the Landon family heiress. They had grown up together, a perfect match. What was I, some kind of homewrecker? The fact that they merely disliked me was, frankly, quite polite of them. I was about to just nod and head upstairs, but Julian spoke first. "Uh... hello." [? Why is he blushing like a teapot?] the System wondered. [In the original story, he hated you at first. He thought you looked poor and tacky. It wasn't until your and Phoebe's birthday party, when you showed up in a stunning gown, that he...] The System stopped. [I get it now.] "Get what?" [You're wearing new clothes. You look good right now. Men are so shallow!] Julian cleared his throat, his composure returning. "And you are?" "Iris." The name was all he needed. His expression immediately turned cold. [Okay, what is wrong with him? He changes his mind faster than you can flip a page.] "That's pretty normal. Finding out your fiancée is suddenly being replaced with a stranger? Anyone would be upset." Finding someone attractive is one thing. Realizing that attractive person might completely upend your life is another thing entirely. Love at first sight requires the other person to be non-threatening. I wanted to tell Julian that I had zero interest in him and that he and Phoebe could live happily ever after, but it wasn't my place. I was about to turn and go upstairs when Phoebe's sweet voice called out. "Julian!" She came running lightly down the stairs. [What the hell! Wasn't she so sick she needed to be carried just this morning? Now she's running and jumping!] "Some people have very strong immune systems. They recover quickly." [...] 5 Phoebe ran over and tugged on Julian's sleeve. "I'm ready. The concert is about to start. Let's go." Julian's gaze lingered on me for a second. Phoebe followed his eyes and her expression immediately became timid. "Iris, do you... want to come with us?" I smiled and declined. "No, thanks. I'm not a big music fan. I'd just fall asleep. You two go have fun." [What an act! Concert tickets like that usually have to be bought in advance. What if you had said yes? Would she have given you hers? Or would she have awkwardly said no and embarrassed you? So fake!] As I walked upstairs, I found the System's constant outrage kind of amusing. "Why are you always so ready to explode? She was just being polite. What was she supposed to do? See me standing there and just ignore me as they walk out holding hands? That would have been way more awkward." [I just can't stand people like them!] the System fumed. [Why can't they just be direct? All these little mind games, treating everyone else like an idiot! Doesn't it piss you off? If it does, I can go zap them for you.] I pressed my palms together. "Please, I'm begging you. If you keep getting this worked up, you're going to deplete the Earth's energy reserves. I'm not pissed off at anyone. It's perfectly normal for people to be on guard when their world is suddenly turned upside down." [Hmph. I think you just have a classic people-pleaser personality.] "And I think you have a classic warmonger personality." [You've only got nerve when you're talking to me!] I hung up my new clothes and sat on the floor. "Okay, look. Stop getting so angry all the time. Your motherboard has already overheated a few times, right? Is it really okay to keep doing that?" The System ignored me. I thought for a moment. "How about this? I'll tell you a riddle to help you cool down." The System took the bait. [What does a riddle have to do with cooling down?] "You'll see." I asked, "What's green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?" [You're not allowed to use your data banks. Think about it.] The System mulled it over. [I give up. What is it?] "A pool table." [...] [I feel much cooler now. Thank you.] "You're welcome."
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