My childhood friend hated my dirty jokes and said I didn't act like a girl. He told me to learn from the gentle, perfect school beauty. Who knew the school beauty would stare at my mouth thoughtfully. "I heard you talk so much you could make a mute person speak?" She paid me to harass her autistic brother. A thousand bucks for every word he said. She was too naive. Unorthodox problems require unorthodox solutions. I walked to the back row of the classroom and lightly tapped the quiet boy's desk. "Shouldn't you explain to everyone about licking my foot while I was asleep last night?" His eyes widened, and a crack appeared on his frozen face. "I didn't." I turned back confidently and flashed a brilliant smile at the school beauty. "Pay up." 1 "Shouldn't you explain to everyone about licking my foot while I was asleep last night?" The moment my words dropped, the entire classroom fell into a deathly silence. The gloomy boy in the corner, who always kept his head down, slowly widened his eyes. A crack appeared on his frozen face. "I didn't." The school beauty, Serena, strode forward in three steps. Her eyes held no disgust, only utter admiration. I thought she was joking, but she transferred the money to me without a word. When she transferred the money, the legendary cool and beautiful Serena's hands were trembling. She grabbed my arm like she was grabbing a lifebuoy. "Master, save my brother." She said her parents took Julian to see all kinds of psychologists, domestic and foreign. The answer was always the same: "The best solution is to find a peer, let him feel the beauty that should belong to this age." But Julian loathed anyone getting close, except family. At our age, face is everything. No one wanted to take on such a frustrating job with Julian's foul temper. "Pester him. For every extra sentence he says, I'll add a thousand bucks." Serena held my hand like she was holding her savior. I held her hand, looking at the thousand dollars, like I was looking at a walking ATM. Harassing people? I'm a pro at that. Since childhood, in the eyes of every teacher, I was the reincarnation of a housefly. In elementary school, to shut me up, the homeroom teacher sat me next to a kid with a hearing impairment. Later, I learned sign language and secretly chatted with him under the desk. Like casting spells in Naruto, my hands flew so fast it was scary. My deskmate got so excited his fingers almost cramped. The teacher found my mom and told her I could strike up a conversation with a roadside dog, suggesting she take me to see a doctor. This job was tailor-made for me. Plus, Julian was so handsome. I turned to look at Julian. Julian had only said three words just now before lowering his head again. He seemed annoyed that he had spoken subconsciously, and was now showing us the top of his dark head. My childhood friend, Ryan, who had been completely ignored, came over unwillingly. Seeing me accept Serena's money, he tried to grab my phone without a word. "Sue, we should focus on our studies right now. Stop hanging out with sketchy people." Serena, whom he had just called a goddess, turned around. Her eyes were cold, returning to her usual demeanor. "Who are you calling sketchy?" Ryan choked, speechless. I shook off his arm. I never realized before that Ryan was such a bully to the weak and fearful of the strong. Ryan wanted to say more, but the class bell rang. I skipped back to my seat. That same day, Serena used her "money power" to seat me next to Julian. "Teacher, my brother came to this school mainly to make friends. Sue is very suitable to be his friend." "It's getting hotter. I think our school needs some air conditioners installed." The teacher shut up. When I moved next to Julian, he was still sleeping on his desk. Ryan turned his head from the side to look at me, his gaze burning a hole in me. I stared at Julian's neck for a whole class. He was clearly awake, but he wouldn't even lift his head to avoid interacting with me. Interesting. 2 During the second break, I whispered in his ear. "Julian, do you know your neck is so white? Like a duck neck. Want to gnaw on it..." Maybe I got too close. Julian shuddered and looked up violently, staring at me in horror. I took a picture of his face with my phone—click—and sent it to his sister. How does this look like an autistic child? Isn't this interesting? This little expression is more vivid than mine. But in the next few classes, I learned how difficult Julian was. No matter what I said, he remained motionless like a block of wood. Until the final bell rang. My mouth was dry, but I was fascinated. Because no one had ever listened to me talk so much without calling me an idiot. Even if I don't earn this money, I've found a soulmate. I watched Julian's pale fingers slowly close the textbook and scoffed. "What were you pretending for during English class just now?" Julian's fingers stiffened. He glanced at me sideways, turned, and walked towards the door. I grabbed my backpack and hurriedly followed. His sister told me during the break that their family driver would take me home today. Someone grabbed my backpack. I was choked and rolled my eyes. Turning around, I saw Ryan standing behind me with a dark face. "Can't you see he doesn't want to talk to you? Sue, as a girl, have some dignity!" Twice. Twice today. Even if he was the guy I had a crush on for a long time, I couldn't stand him humiliating me repeatedly. I swung my backpack and smashed it into his face. Ryan looked at me in shock. My chest heaved violently. "Is there something wrong with you? I cling to you, you say I have no dignity. I cling to others, you still say I have no dignity." "What did you say this morning? That as a girl, I shouldn't always tell dirty jokes and have no shame." I laughed angrily. I didn't even want to settle this score with him. He was the one who used to tell me dirty jokes on the way home from school every day, laughing so hard he leaned back. I thought he was interested in that. I stayed up all night studying dirty jokes just to get him to talk to me a few more times. Turns out I became the biggest simp with the foulest mouth in school. So hard to please. He can go to hell. I shook off his arm and chased after Julian, who was about to disappear from view. "Julian, why didn't you wait for me?" I tilted my head and asked him. Julian, of course, didn't answer. I turned to look at the convenience store nearby and ordered him. "Stand there. Don't move." Surprisingly, I found that he actually stood still. I lifted my foot and circled him on the ground. "Wait for me. I'm going to buy something. Or I'll tell your sister about you secretly kissing me." Julian looked up at me. This time he was obviously not as shocked as in the morning, but his dark eyes still stared at me in confusion. When I came out of the store with a popsicle, I saw Julian standing obediently by the trash can at a glance. Tsk. I squinted. I thought I liked sunny boys like Ryan. How come a gloomy, obedient puppy like Julian is so cute too? I thought while licking the popsicle. Finally, I came to a conclusion. I don't have a type. I'm just purely lustful. 3 I shoved a popsicle into his hand. Julian didn't take it, and it fell to the ground with a splat. He walked forward on his own. I picked up the popsicle, ran up quickly, and shoved it into his hand again. It fell to the ground again. I got angry. This brat. I chased him down in three steps and yanked open his collar. Julian finally lost his cool. He covered his collar, took two steps back, and looked at me in surprise. I grinned and handed the popsicle over. He took it. We walked side by side. Julian held the popsicle in his hand but didn't eat it. So I leaned in and whispered to him. "Don't be shy. I won't tell anyone your nipples are pink..." Julian broke the popsicle and stuffed it into his mouth, speeding up. See, people always pretend to be busy when they are embarrassed. Drinking water when there's water, sucking on a popsicle when there's a popsicle. I watched Julian slowly licking the popsicle and grinned. "Julian, do you know popsicles can cool you down? Like when it's hot, you stick it in a beef swallow..." (Note: A pun on a Chinese dish/slang) Julian stopped eating. He put down the popsicle, his mouth red from the cold, and looked at me quietly. Looks like he really can't handle me. I was a little embarrassed. It seemed this topic was indeed a bit disgusting. Just as I was about to change the subject, Julian said his second sentence of the day. "Pig." I froze, then was ecstatic. "Right! It's pork swallow, I remembered wrong!" "Julian!! We have so much in common. You watch those low-fat short videos too!" I thought the autistic boy Julian didn't go online. Didn't expect him to be an internet surfer too. I cheered. I really found a soulmate. Getting out of the luxury car, I waved goodbye to Serena enthusiastically. Turning around, I almost died of fright. Ryan stood at the stairwell, eyes cold. "Does your mom know? You're getting so close to a sick boy." I handed over the extra ice pop I bought. Ryan's expression relaxed a little. He reached out to take it, but didn't stop lecturing me. "People like Julian obviously have mental problems. You think everyone has a good temper like me? Being annoyed by you since childhood until my brain falls out and still..." I squeezed the melted ice pop hard and squirted it at his face. He screamed and backed away two steps. The motion sensor lights in the stairwell turned on. Sweet, sticky juice dripped down Ryan's face. He glared at me. "Are you crazy?!" I took out a tissue to wipe my fingers and walked past him. "Calling others sick. I think you're the sickest one." Ryan turned around. I had already climbed up the second flight of stairs. The next day during break, I offered to add Julian on WeChat. He rarely responded to me. "No." I took out my phone to take a picture of him. He frowned and waved it away. I reached out to grab the phone in his pocket. Julian backed away two steps in horror, as if I was going to grab his little brother. While we were making a fuss, Ryan knocked on my desk. "Sue, I won't hold last night against you. My mom made sweet and sour ribs tonight. Let's walk home together." I stopped tormenting Julian and looked at Ryan sideways. Is there something wrong with him? Can't understand what I said yesterday? Too lazy to deal with him, I turned around and found Julian had already stood up and left the classroom. I took a deep breath, turned around, and chased after him. Julian stood straight at the classroom door like a fool. I guess he wanted to hide from me but didn't know where to go. His CPU burned out. I found it funny and poked him. "Hey, really not adding me?" He didn't speak, standing straight until the class bell rang. "Hey, teacher's here." I tugged at his sleeve, but Julian remained motionless. "You two, what are you doing standing here?" The music teacher frowned. I looked at the wooden man Julian, then at the music teacher. "Teacher, Julian... his stomach hurts." 4 Julian's pupils trembled slightly, surprised by my casual lie. The teacher waved her hand, letting me take him to the infirmary. I'm tone-deaf. Being able to escape music class was entirely because Julian was a good boy in the teacher's eyes. He was dragged forward by me like a stone block. Passing the window, I saw Ryan with a dark expression. "Julian, have you never skipped class?" I pried his hand open. The boy's palm was warm. My heart itched, and I shamelessly stuffed my hand into his. He didn't shake it off. I dragged him through the alley near the school gate and found my favorite restaurant. The owner cheerfully served a bowl of noodles. "Bringing a friend? Isn't it class time?" I smiled. "Yep, we skipped class to come here." Julian's breath hitched. He raised his hand to cover my mouth, looking horrified enough to make me swallow my words on the spot. I was amused. Who invented this little thing Julian? So cute. Completely hitting my moe point. I brought two small bowls. "Half for you, half for me. Friendship won't scatter." Julian frowned at the bowl of noodles and didn't speak. I thought he despised me, but he unexpectedly handed over his phone. I understood what he meant. He said he had money and could buy two bowls. Actually, it was because I couldn't finish it. Just had breakfast, how could I eat a whole bowl? I took the opportunity to grab his phone and add my WeChat. Julian's hand paused but didn't stop me. Julian ate quietly. Even the most ordinary bowl of noodles was eaten by him with an air of nobility. Until the meal was finished, I wiped my mouth, grabbed him, and ran. Julian was confused, stumbling after me. I didn't turn back until we ran out of the alley. The boy's eyes were terrifyingly bright. He seemed to have never done such a rebellious thing. His heart beat fast. I could hear it even though we were facing each other. He pulled me back, eyes determined. I broke free from his hand. "We dined and dashed. Going back is so embarrassing." Julian pursed his lips, looking at me wordlessly. He wasn't angry, his eyes full of helpless indulgence, and determination for his bottom line. I looked at him grinning. "Going back is fine. You have to tell the boss: 'Sorry, we came to pay,' then I'll go back." Julian stood at the entrance of the alley, struggling for a full five minutes, and finally resignedly pulled my hand to walk back. The boss was wiping the table. Seeing us standing at the door like statues, she was stunned. I shoved him. "Speak." Fine sweat broke out on Julian's palms, making my hand red from gripping. The tips of his ears were also scary red. I thought he was going to give up. But the next second, I heard Julian's unique cool voice, stuttering. "Sorry, Boss... we came to pay."
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