Buy Now, Pay Later

My husband hired a new intern for the purchasing department, and the moment she walked in, she started barking orders at me. "You've wasted all the company's money! Do you even understand 'Buy Now, Pay Later'?" She pulled up Amazon on her phone, shoving her order history from last month in my face. I stood there, stunned. "Just as I thought, a total dinosaur. You don't know anything!" "If I were the purchasing manager, this company would have gone public by now!" I took a breath, trying to ignore her ridiculous comments. "Why don't you shadow Sarah for now and help organize the invoices..." Before I could finish, Lynn slammed her hand on the desk. "I didn't come here to be a secretary! I came here to save this company!" She rolled her eyes at me. "A boomer like you who doesn't even get 'Buy Now, Pay Later' is just waiting to be replaced by me!" I took a deep breath. Fine. If that's how you want to play it, your daily wages can be 'Paid Later' too. 1. I immediately called my husband, Tom, the CEO. Where on earth did he find this chaotic "genius"? The phone rang and rang. No answer. Just then, the office door banged open. Lynn burst in, arms overflowing with snacks, plastic bags crinkling loudly. "Come on, everyone! Dig in!" she shouted with her mouth full of potato chips, tossing bags of snacks onto my colleagues' desks. "My treat!" "Work sucks, might as well have something sweet, right?" Colleagues swarmed around her, grabbing snacks and praising her. "Lynn, you really know how to liven up the place!" "This girl gets it!" 2. Lynn lifted her chin triumphantly, dusting chip crumbs off her hands. "This is nothing! I got it all using 'Buy Now, Pay Later.' Didn't cost me a cent today!" Just as I was about to step out and reprimand her for causing a disturbance during work hours, my phone buzzed. The screen lit up with a notification from the gourmet grocery store downstairs— [You have activated 'Buy Now, Pay Later' this morning. Order total $999 pending payment.] The rustling of plastic bags and laughter of my colleagues continued outside. Lynn's boastful voice grated on my nerves. "Stocking up with this feature is the best deal. The money doesn't come out until next month anyway!" I stared at the unauthorized transaction on my screen, my grip tightening on the phone. I pushed the door open. The office went silent instantly. Everyone froze. Lynn was tossing the last bag of chips to Sarah. Seeing me, she rolled her eyes publicly. "Oh, now you want snacks?" She sneered, her voice sharp. "Dream on. I'm not giving you any." She deliberately shook the empty plastic bag at me. "Some dinosaurs don't even understand 'Buy Now, Pay Later.' Do you really deserve to eat the food I bought?" I stared at her smug face and held up my phone, screen facing her. "The $999 pending payment at the grocery store downstairs... did you use my account?" 3. Lynn snatched the phone from my hand. Seeing the screen, her eyes lit up. "Hey, it's activated!" She bobbed her head smugly. "See? You learned how to use advanced features." She shoved the phone back into my chest, acting self-righteous. "You should be thanking me for helping you set it up!" A few colleagues couldn't help but chuckle. "It's so convenient. Money isn't deducted until next month," she patted my shoulder patronizingly. "Consider the $999 a tuition fee. Even dinosaurs need to keep up with the times!" The plastic bag rustled as she tore open a pack of cookies, crunching loudly. I snapped. I slapped the cookies out of her hand, sending them crashing to the floor. "What the hell did you do?!" Lynn screamed, grabbing a handful of snacks from the desk and throwing them at my face. "You're wasting food, you b*tch!" Chip crumbs stuck to my face as she shrieked, "The store downstairs is for employees only! I'm an intern and didn't have access, so I used your name—" She waved her phone triumphantly, showing the transaction record on my account. "The owner knows you. I told him to send the bill to you. 'Buy Now, Pay Later.' You're paying that tuition fee whether you like it or not!" I grabbed her wrist. "Pay me back right now! I'm cancelling this stupid feature!" Lynn yanked her arm away, her voice rising. "Ungrateful! I teach you a financial hack and this is how you repay me?" 4. Her greasy hand grabbed my collar. "You deserve to be left behind by society! The money isn't due until next month, why are you rushing to pay?" Seeing a few colleagues snickering, she got bolder. "I'm helping you elevate your spending habits. You should be kneeling to thank me!" I dragged her toward the door. "We're going to the store. And don't bother coming in tomorrow!" Before I could finish, SMACK! A crisp slap landed on my face. I stood there, hand on my burning cheek, stunned. She shook me off and shouted at the top of her lungs. "Everyone knows you're the most useless person in Purchasing! I had to teach you how to use 'Buy Now, Pay Later'!" Some colleagues were secretly filming with their phones. "What are you staring at?" She stepped forward, spit flying onto my face. "CEO Tom hired me personally. Who are you to fire me?" Lynn lifted her chin arrogantly. "You think you can fire me? Let's see if Tom listens to you or me!" She shoved me hard, grabbing the pile of snacks from the desk. " pearls before swine. I wouldn't even give this to a dog!" I was shaking with rage. I pulled out my phone and dialed Tom again. "Let's see if I kick you out today!" The phone rang and rang. No answer. My colleagues' eyes were pinned on me. The busy tone felt like another slap in the face. I dialed again. Still no answer.

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