To save my son who had run into the middle of the street, I took the hit from a truck that shattered my spine. In an instant, an international soccer star became a prisoner confined to a chair. I tore up all my jerseys and smashed every medal against the wall. My son hugged my wheelchair, sobbing: "It's my fault, Dad." "Dad, you can hit me or yell at me, just please don't be like this, okay?" I tried to slit my wrists with scissors, but my wife held me down firmly: "If you leave, what will happen to me and our son?" Later, my son brought me water and fed me every day. After school, he would lean against my wheelchair and tell me stories about his day. My wife massaged me daily and brewed herbal soups at night. I tried to turn over using my arms on the table. Gradually, the wheelchair replaced my legs. I thought this was rebirth. Until that day, when I overheard their conversation. "Taking care of him every day, I'm turning into a maid! My classmates laugh at me for having a crippled dad." My wife sighed and agreed: "He drags us down every day like this. It would have been better if he had just died back then." "If he died, you wouldn't have to feel inferior or guilty, and I wouldn't have to spend my life in these endless days." I wiped away my tears and wheeled myself to the balcony. Chapter 1 In the few seconds falling from the balcony, I felt like I was back on the soccer field. Spinning, jumping, landing. The wind whistled past my ears like the applause of the crowd. My soul slowly rose, then drifted back to the balcony on the twenty-second floor. The wheelchair that had accompanied me for eight years sat empty. The house was quiet, too. Two bedroom doors were shut tight, just like every day for the past eight years. My son said he wanted some privacy. My wife said I shouldn't make every part of the house so depressing. So behind every door was a world that belonged only to them. I understood. I never went in. But now I was dead. I wanted to see my son one last time. Just once. Without any obstruction, I passed through the door. My son was facing his phone, a faint smile on his lips—a lightness I hadn't seen in a long time. He was video chatting with a classmate, looking happy. "Is your dad really a soccer star? That's so cool!" My son's smile froze on his face. "It was that uncle who picked you up last time, right? He's so handsome." My son's eyes dimmed, and he nodded. Since my accident, I had never picked him up or dropped him off. It had always been Sarah's secretary, Nathan. I felt a sting of pain, but then relief. If Nathan could replace me and be a competent husband and father, maybe that would be better. My son hung up the video call and opened his notebook. "I really wish Uncle Nathan was my dad." Tears blurred the ink on the page. I reached out, wanting to touch his head, but my hand passed right through his hair. Silly child, your wish will come true soon. In the future, you won't have to feel inferior about having a crippled father. You won't have to live in guilt and self-blame anymore. From now on, you can openly say that your dad is great and healthy. Father and son are connected; he seemed to sense something and whispered softly. "Dad, I'm sorry." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and hugged him tight. It's okay. It's not your fault. It was Dad's choice. Chapter 2 From the moment I dove into the middle of the road to save you, I never regretted it. Floating out of my son's room, the light in the master bedroom was on. Sarah was working, a stack of documents on the desk. Since I became paralyzed, she spent most of her time working from home. People at her company whispered that I was her burden, a baggage dragging her down. But during my hardest days, she never gave up on me. She held on for eight years. These eight years, she was tired too. Now I wanted to give her freedom back. My fingers gently traced her brow, wanting to smooth out the frown. Her phone buzzed. It was Nathan. "Sarah, David is just your responsibility. You don't love him." "But today, can you be true to yourself for once?" She fell silent. "Today is my birthday." She stared at the screen for a long time, finally typing one word: "Okay." She stood up and tidied herself briefly. Walking to the door, she glanced toward the balcony: "David, something came up at the office. I'll be back late." I wasn't too sad. Over these eight years, I had gotten used to Nathan's intrusion. Deep down, I had already started seeing him as my wife's future husband, my son's future father. Chapter 3 I followed Sarah to "Starlight." This was the first Western restaurant Sarah ever took me to. Back then, we had nothing, struggling for our respective careers. She spent half a month's salary for one dinner. She said, David, I'll bring you here every day in the future. She didn't break her promise. Later, when life got better, we came often. Now that I'm dead, she needs to start a new life. One can't always live in the past. Her time with me was bitter enough. I hope her future days are a little sweeter. She waited for a long time, but Nathan never showed up. After a while, her phone suddenly buzzed. Sarah answered, looking panicked. She said a few words hurriedly and went straight to the hospital. Nathan was hurt. A fractured left leg. I let out a sigh of relief. At least he didn't end up like me. "Sarah." "I shouldn't have gotten close to you, shouldn't have had delusions. Let's not see each other anymore." Nathan was weeping. Sarah comforted him softly: "What happened?" Nathan choked out: "It... it was David." "He must have known about the message I sent you. He found me and said this was just a warning. If there's a next time..." "Next time he'll take my life!" "Sarah, what should I do? Can you save me? I just want to stay by your side." I was stunned. I had never met Nathan, let alone warned him. Why was he lying? I stared at Sarah, holding onto a sliver of hope. I thought, given how well Sarah knew me, she wouldn't believe this lie. But she disappointed me. A hostility I had never seen before surged in her eyes. After comforting Nathan, she walked out of the ward and called me over and over. She couldn't get through, of course. She opened WeChat and sent a voice message: "David! Have you lost your mind?! I've tolerated you long enough! I've served you for eight years while you were paralyzed, and you're still not satisfied?! You're vicious enough to hurt Nathan!" "How can you be so insidious? I was blind to marry you! A useless cripple like you is just a burden alive!" Every word pierced my heart. If I were still alive, I couldn't imagine how I would feel hearing these words. But luckily, I was already dead. Dead men don't feel heartache. Good. If she hates me, she can let go of the past. Sarah returned to the bedside and held Nathan tightly in her arms. She didn't come home that night. Morning light shone through the balcony glass onto the empty wheelchair. My son, Leo, saw the wheelchair on the balcony, his eyes showing impatience: "Dad, why are you up so early?" No response. He tutted irritably: "Throwing a tantrum again. So annoying." On the table was warm milk and a fried egg. He learned to make breakfast two years ago. I was proud but heartbroken. Too bad Dad will never eat a breakfast made by his son again. I followed Leo downstairs. The entrance to the apartment complex was crowded. Through the crowd, I vaguely saw a pool of bright red blood. I quickly stood in front of Leo. I was afraid he would see me like that, afraid it would leave a shadow on his heart. Thankfully, he just glanced once and quickly looked away. I let out a sigh of relief and escorted him out of the complex gate. The wind brushed past my ears as he sighed softly: "If only it was him who died." My heart seized violently, then relaxed. Son, Dad has already granted your wish. I only hope that in the days to come, you won't be too sad. Chapter 4 A force pulled me to Sarah's side. She was being intimate with Nathan when the phone rang untimely. "Ms. Zhou? I'm sorry to inform you that a male resident jumped from a building last night. The description matches the family information you registered. May I ask..." Sarah's mind buzzed. She remembered the calls that didn't go through yesterday and the harsh words she spewed. Panic set in. An inexplicable fear rose in her heart. She immediately called Leo: "Leo, is Dad at home today?" "Yeah, he's home. Don't know what tantrum he's throwing this morning!" Sarah's body instantly relaxed. She let out a long breath, a self-mocking smile on her lips. Right, how could someone as thick-skinned as David just kill himself so easily? She returned to normal: "Leo, Mom has something to tell you. I plan to divorce your dad." "Really?!" "You finally thought it through! I support you 100%! You should marry Uncle Nathan quickly. Dad has dragged you down enough, I don't want him delaying your happiness anymore!" Sarah was silent for a moment: "After the divorce, I want to send your dad to a nursing home in France. You stay with me." The joy on the other end of the line stopped abruptly. After a moment of silence, Leo's voice sounded again: "Mom, you don't need to carry any moral burden. As a wife, you've done more than enough. But Dad was paralyzed saving me. I can't abandon him. If he goes to France, I have to go with him." I didn't expect Leo to say that. I thought he... hated me very, very much. Sarah was stunned: "Leo, actually you don't have to put so much pressure on yourself. You..." "Ah—!" A scream came from the hospital room.
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